More games, this time in the state of Iowa, where a horde of baby-cookin psycho conservatives will square off against a couple of merely bug-fuck crazy established Republicans for a title that means absolutely nothing. I should be around tonight, bringing you all the gory details as they emerge. Win, place, or show? Anyone but Romney? We’ll soon find out.

I can do this now, because, and really I do thank whatever powers that be, the holidays are now officially over. O-V-E-R goddamit! Which means those of us stuck in dead-end retail tech support jobs, We who Spent the last three fucking weeks explaining to grandpa and grandma how to set up little Johnny’s Christmas PC, or how to insert a gaming disk (No, the disk drive release is not a coffee cup holder Bill in Pa), or the mysterious inner world of plug-in surge protectors (No, Na-na Betty from Phoenix, the micro-transformers in the surge protectors bear no relation to the video game characters called Transformers), may get some actual relief.

Seriously, remember the guy who ran on The Rent Is Too Damn High platform? I think someone could do equally well, if not better, by running a Computers Are Too Damn Confusing and They Suck, Too campaign. Judging by that recent experience, technology challenged Americans love nothing more than celebrating the arbitrarily chosen birthday of a being that has always existed — and who went on to stage the fake death of its man-God hybrid offspring some decades later for reasons that make no sense at all — than by imprisoning innocent electrons inside microscopic barracks made of dopey, wafer thin silicon walls and forcing them to paint gruesome images of death and destruction 24 hours day one tiny pixel at a time on the modern-day version of the silver screen. I’m not even going to mention that 45% of all hard-drives are, or rather were, made in Thailand, and that those manufacturers were taken out by floods late last year throwing the supply entire PC pipeline into chaos.

And why not I ask? What God of Love, Mercy, and Forgiveness would not enjoy a good game, indeed the very sentiment, behind Battlefield 3 or Grand Theft Auto 4? Jebus, Moses, have you read the Old Testament lately? Violence and dismemberment, plague and conquest … Given our propensity for violent video games seemingly hard-wired into the bipedal primate nature, it’s no wonder it was such a popular read.

I’m sorry, do I sound a little cynical?