It’s been a heavy grading day, but at least I can say I’ve got one of my three classes done, and it was the largest one. Can I get the other two done tomorrow? Before I go to the local humane society fundraiser in the evening? Yes, I will. It shall be done.
I took a break and went looking for some light entertainment, which is reliably discovered in the fringes of arXiv. Here we go: Ground to Dust: Collisional Cascades and the Fate of Kardashev II Megaswarms.
Extraterrestrial intelligences are speculated to surround stars with structures to collect their energy or to signal distant observers. If they exist, these most likely are megaswarms, vast constellations of satellites (elements) in orbit around the hosts. Although long-lived megaswarms are extremely powerful technosignatures, they are liable to be subject to collisional cascades once guidance systems start failing. The collisional time is roughly an orbital period divided by the covering fraction of the swarm. Structuring the swarm orbits does not prolong the initial collisional time as long as there is enough randomness to ensure collisions, although it can reduce collision velocities. I further show that once the collisional cascade begins, it can develop extremely rapidly for hypervelocity collisions. Companion stars or planets in the stellar system induce perturbations through the Lidov-Kozai effect among others, which can result in orbits crossing within some millions of years. Radiative perturbations, including the Yarkovsky effect, also can destabilize swarms. Most megaswarms are thus likely to be short-lived on cosmic timescales without active upkeep. I discuss possible mitigation strategies and implications for megastructure searches.
Has anybody seen a Kardeshev II civilization? Spotted any megaswarms through your telescopes? It must be fun to write papers about speculated phenomena, as if they exist.
There’s a fair bit of math in that paper, and I can see where it might be applicable to, for instance, the fate of Saturn’s rings, but I think I’ll wait on developing mitigation strategies until we actually have a Kardashev type II civilization, if such a thing is even possible. It’s a bit like guessing how a god would deal with a few billion angels suddenly showing up at the gates, and getting it published as a science paper.
I got up this morning and started punching new numbers into a spreadsheet. I go to work and pull up a couple more spreadsheets and start collating columns. I’m going to meet with students this afternoon and get more data that I can enter into more tables of numbers. Tomorrow, more numbers flow into my computer and I have to organize them, and then I have to to enter a bunch of formulas to normalize scores and adjust totals and double-check that nothing is missing, all so later this weekend I can punch a couple of keys and letter grades come tumbling out that I’ll then have to move into the crude, primitive tables that students can access to see if they’re likely to get into medical school or not.
This is the usual end-of-term rut: I have to stop thinking about science and genetics and pretend to put on the stupid green visor* and calculate numerical assessments. While I respect the profession, I am not an accountant and do not want to be one. I get to stop cosplaying an accountant on Monday, I think. Please end it soon.
*OK, maybe it’s not stupid, according to multiple sources.
The green visor, also known as the green eyeshade or the dealer’s visor, dates back to the late 19th century and the early 20th century. It was worn by accountants, telegraphers, copy editors, and other professionals who had to work with a lot of paperwork and numbers under harsh lighting conditions.
I’m sitting in a small room with bright fluorescent lights, looking at tables of numbers. Maybe I should get myself a green visor.
Today was the very last day of lecture. It wasn’t even me lecturing — the students were doing presentations on ethics and and genetics. They were all very good! One of the virtues of working at a liberal arts university is that our students are good at comprehending and presenting their ideas.
I’m not going to be lecturing at anyone until mid-January 2026! That does feel good.
I’m not quite done, though. I have one lab section left, in which I’m just going to go through and make suggestions for their final lab report. Tomorrow morning will be spent going through all the papers and records for my 3 courses, so I can get their final grades together. Friday is all about grading those lab reports, and Saturday is about assembling a final exam that will be graded electronically. Then, with any luck, my summer break and sabbatical begin on Cinco de Mayo, and the university can just fade away for a little while as I spend my days frolicking with spiders.
It’s from McSweeney’s. It’s a joke.
The all-gender bathrooms will be changed to “both-gender” bathrooms because, as biology tells us, there are only two genders.
(The biology department has informed us that this is not true.)
The biology department has been dissolved.
Ha ha, it’s satire that exaggerates a potential problem, therefore it’s funny. Ha ha.
Except…it includes a link to an article on the American Association of University Professors site.
Similarly, the University of North Texas administration recently censored the content of more than two hundred academic courses, including by mandating the removal of words such as race, gender, class, and equity from undergraduate and graduate course titles and descriptions.6 These actions were allegedly taken in response to state legislation banning certain diversity, equity, and inclusion programs and practices, even though the legislation specifically exempted academic course content. While university administrators and faculty members may be compelled to comply with legislation and court orders, even where these run counter to professional and constitutional principles, they remain free to register their disagreement. And under no circumstances should an institution go further than the law demands. Yet, the examples above depict an eagerness to obey on the part of administrative officers, portending a bleak future for higher education.
Wait…is this still satire? Should I keep laughing? Is the AAUP, normally a pretty damned serious site, joking?
No?
I tell you, don’t go to college in Texas. Get out of the state as quick as you can. There may be good colleges there, but the state government is certifiably insane and will be chopping the hell out of the education system there.
Republicans in Minnesota’s 7th Congressional District have a new party chair. It’s Bret Bussman! Here’s the part of his CV that he shares with the citizens.
Terri and I live in Browerville and have since 2016. We have 3 grown sons.
I am a 20-year Active Army retiree & a life member of the VFW and DAV.
I am a Christian and attend St. John’s Lutheran Church in Motley. Terri attends Catholic Church. Yes, Catholics & Lutherans can coexist.
I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration from Northwestern University in St. Paul and an MBA from Globe University/MN School of Business.
That’s all fine. But there’s more!
He has posted about “satanic chemtrails” in the skies above Minnesota.
He has argued that the collapse of a World Trade Center building during the 9/11 terror attacks was the result of a “controlled demolition,” and that a “cruise missile,” rather than American Airlines Flight 77, struck the Pentagon that day.
He has shared multiple videos arguing that the moon landings were faked, and that more recent footage of astronauts aboard the International Space Station was faked as well.
He has shared with followers a video entitled “5 Reasons Why I BELIEVE in the Flat Earth (And You Should Too!),” as well as numerous other videos claiming that the earth is flat.
Bussman’s Facebook posts demonstrate a longstanding interest in multiple extreme fringe theories. On May 8, 2023, he posted a video purporting to show “leaked footage of our flat earth from 1977,” showing an obviously computer-generated animation of a dim sun traversing flat icy terrain.
A year later he shared a video stating that a pilot “proved” the earth is flat because the sun and the moon were visible in the sky at the same time, a phenomenon which occurs on most days.
And on August 14, 2024, he posted the “5 Reasons Why” video about flat earth, which asks, among other things, that if the Earth is actually spinning, “why aren’t we all being flung out into space?”
Bussman has similarly posted multiple videos purporting to prove that the moon landings and other parts of the U.S. space program have been “faked.” He has shared video of an actor pretending to be film director Stanley Kubrick admitting that “he was responsible for faking the US Moon Program,” as well as a lengthy video claiming the landings were a “hoax” based on various false and spurious claims about film footage of them.
He has repeatedly suggested that a celestial structure called “the firmament” prevents space travel, which is a common trope among many flat-earthers.
Bussman’s conspiracy theorizing extends to world events like the 9/11 attacks as well. On March 22, 2024, he posted a conspiracy video and asked a skeptical follower “Have you seen the video of building 7 collapsing and the cruise missle [sic] hit the pentagon? I had a friend invomved [sic] in the clean up of the towers- no plane wreckage.” He has posted several other videos containing similar sentiments.
Some have noticed that there might be some damage to the reputation of the party in future elections.
Bussman’s elevation to a leadership position is part of a statewide pattern that alarms longtime Republican activists: The party is allowing itself to be taken over by the fringe, lowering the odds of victory in future statewide elections.
“It’s bad for Republicans who want to win,” said Michael Brodkorb, former deputy chair of the Minnesota GOP who has vehemently opposed the party’s embrace of Donald Trump and figures like him, going so far as to publicly endorse Kamala Harris last year. “This is what happens when party leadership opens the gates of the insane asylum, and people come in off the streets and the inmates run it.”
Republicans: You elected Donald Trump and every demented loon who conspired with him. Own it. The damage is done, you’re already run by the asylum inmates.
The Liberals won, the Conservatives lost.
I don’t think there’s any question that Canadians don’t want to become our 51st state.
I can feel the end of the semester coming. It’s creeping this way, like the small spiders emerging in my garage, anticipating a fabulous summer and fall of freedom.
It’s not quite here yet, though. This week it’s all about giving advice on final lab reports that are due on Friday — my entire afternoon is going to be spent reading drafts and checking the math on genetics papers, so that their final submission will be perfect and will possibly save their grades (I write evil exams, I’m sorry to say, and the students look slightly traumatized and shocked right now.)
And then I find some writing advice on the internet, which might be just barely in time!
I anticipate that most of what I’ll be reading today will be in the passive voice. I might just recommend trying passive-aggressive voice, or conspiracy voice, or if they’re really daring, active voice.
That’s about as enthusiastic as I can get right now, but we do have some Democrats who actually get it. JB Pritzker is setting the tone.
Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker (D) on Sunday called for mass protests against the Trump administration and blasted “do-nothing Democrats” who have failed to mount a stronger opposition to the Republicans in control of the federal government.
“Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption. But I am now,” Pritzker said in his keynote address at the New Hampshire Democratic Party’s McIntyre-Shaheen 100 Club Dinner.
“These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace,” he continued. “They have to understand that we will fight their cruelty with every megaphone and microphone that we have.”
“We must castigate them on the soapbox and then punish them at the ballot box,” he added.
Oh my gosh! He’ll never get invited on CNN with that kind of rhetoric, and Watters will say snide things about him on Fox! Good. Set their hair on fire.
Also, he has a few words for his fellow Democrats.
But he also criticized some members of his own party for listening to political pundits instead of everyday Americans, saying they are “flocking to podcasts and cable news shows to admonish fellow Democrats for not caring enough about the struggles of working families.”
“Those same do-nothing Democrats want to blame our losses on our defense of Black people, of trans kids, of immigrants, instead of their own lack of guts and gumption,” Pritzker said.
Wow. The DNC is going to try to kill his chances in the next election, because they like their candidates to be gutless, hollow old farts.
JB Pritzker will be one to watch. Our governor, Tim Walz, has not let up on his criticisms of weird Republicans, and Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been stirring enthusiastic crowds all around the country. Sanders is too old, I’m sorry to say — we should have elected him to the presidency 20 years ago — but I’d vote for AOC in a heartbeat. We’ve been saddled with Schumers and Pelosis for way too long.
(Oh, hey, Buttigeg works for me, too.)
Pritzker said more that I like:
The IRS does not cope well with chaos.
At the Internal Revenue Service, the internet has become so patchy since President Donald Trump ordered remote workers back to overcrowded offices that staff are resorting to personal hotspots, crashing their computers at the height of tax processing season, two IRS officials told Reuters. The IRS did not respond to a request for comment.
No wonder we have to fill out all those forms to file our taxes. The IRS lacks the computing capacity to calculate the amount I have to pay…except, wait a minute, then how do they know what I owe? The Social Security administration is also struggling.
At the Social Security Administration, lawyers, statisticians and other high-ranking agency officials are being sent from the Baltimore headquarters to regional offices to replace veteran claims processors who have been fired or taken buyouts from the Trump administration.
But most of the new arrivals don’t know how to do the job, leading to longer wait times for disabled and elderly Americans who depend on these benefits, according to two people familiar with the situation. Asked about the changes, an SSA official said in an email that reassigned employees “have vast knowledge about our programs and services.”
I’m trying to imagine what that is like — the few times I’ve had to work with the university’s bureaucracy, I’ve been completely lost. I have vast knowledge about biology and our curriculum, but please don’t ask me to process tuition payments. Those are highly skilled jobs! OSHA is also feeling the pain.
In its drive to cut costs, DOGE says it has canceled almost 500,000 government credit cards. It has placed a $1 limit on many others, and centralized decision making within some agency headquarters. That means managers in some regional offices can’t buy basic supplies.
At one center at the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, it took a scientist a month to get authorization to buy $200 of dry ice to preserve urine samples, a purchase usually made at a local supermarket. Because the administration has barred many employees from making purchases, a colleague in another regional office who still has a government credit card paid for the dry ice, but it had to be shipped to the lab – at an additional cost of $100, according to a source familiar with the matter.
What can you buy on a credit card with a $1 limit?
They keep saying they’re saving us billions with increased efficiency, but all I see is greater inefficiency. I don’t see how that can save us any money at all. They’re just lying to us.
I’ll be curious to see if, at the end of this fiscal year, we’re deeper in the hole than last year. I predict that we will be.
