This was photographed on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. Human beings are persona non grata in that neighborhood anymore, I suspect.
Actually, is there anywhere in the ocean we’d be liked? Except as a snack?
(via Spiegel)
Quacks, every one, and monsters promoting destruction of the unique and precious. Look what they’ve done in the name of giving impotent, tiny-dicked ignoramuses a magic potion:
Poachers have butchered the last adult rhinoceros at a South African game reserve, cutting off her horn and letting her bleed to death, the chief game ranger says.
Rhino horns are just large lumps of keratin, nothing more. They do nothing to make men attractive, they don’t enhance an erection, they don’t increase desire. You might as well make a pill from ground-up fingernail clippings, it is the same thing.
But there is one thing that does enhance virility…
No, I shouldn’t say it. It’s a closely guarded secret.
It’s too dangerously effective. It’s a formula that will make your penis grow 4 inches in a day, make you multi-orgasmic, and generate steely erections that stay up for 3 hours and 59 minutes (if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours or more, see your doctor).
But then, since they’ve just about exterminated rhinos, I guess it’s only fair that I mention the alternative.
The magic ingredient is…
The one indispensable component of this formula is…
The ground-up genitals of TCM pharmacists. Shocking, I know, but it’s a fact. TCM pharmacists never have sexual problems because they are constantly doping themselves up with their panaceas, and their tissues are saturated with the most effective reagents in their pharmacopias.
The best way to collect them and maintain their active properties, of course, is to hover over a TCM pharmacy in a helicopter, and wait for the proprietor to step out; then hit him or her with a tranqulizer dart, rappel down, and then swiftly chop out the magic organ with a chainsaw. After you’ve flown away, throw the bloody bits in a blender with a dozen raw oysters and some tequila, and swallow the liquified results straight down.
If the TCM pharmacists are over-harvested, the second best source of good virility enhancing tissue is the crotches of the people who have been gobbling down TCM remedies, including, of course, the one I just gave you (I have never taken any TCM potions in my entire life, I quickly assure you).
Of course, I do not personally endorse this protocol. But you know, boys will be boys, and spoiled rich Asian tycoons will be spoiled rich Asian tycoons.
It’s from one of those kook-fringe Christian groups in Australia. Let’s show them that they are silly to open up their views to a referendum on the internet.
Would you vote in a Prime Minister who does not acknowledge God?
No 54%
Yes 45%
I predict that they’ll pull a Hovind and change the poll or take it down within a few hours.
History is not going to judge us kindly for this crime against humanity. Never again.
In the following waves [after the initial blast] people’s bodies were terribly squeezed, then their internal organs ruptured. Then the blast blew the broken bodies at 500 to 1,000 miles per hour through the flaming, rubble-filled air. Practically everybody within a radius of 6,500 feet was killed or seriously injured and all buildings crushed or disemboweled.
Japanese doctors said that those who had been killed by the blast itself died instantly. But presently, according to these doctors, those who had suffered only small burns found their appetite failing, their hair falling out, their gums bleeding. They developed temperatures of 104, vomited blood, and died. It was discovered that they had lost 86 percent of their white blood corpuscles. Last week the Japanese announced that the count of Hiroshima’s dead had risen to 125,000.
I am completely unswayed by the argument that the bombing saved American lives by convincing the Japanese that their cause was hopeless. If that were true, why not bomb a nearby deserted atoll as a demonstration? Why bomb two cities over the course of several days? Why not pick a military target rather than a civilian center? This was an act of callous terrorism.
Still arguing? Go watch this fabulous dialog between AC Grayling and Christopher Hitchens, discussing Grayling’s book, Among the Dead Cities. Grayling makes the same argument I do, that the bombing of civilians was immoral and to little material effect. The surprising thing, though, is that I expected Hitchens to go all militaristic, but he doesn’t; he actually deplores the area bombing campaign. He draws a stronger conclusion — he thinks the complete and unambiguous defeat of Nazi Germany was necessary to allow rebuilding of the country, but he thinks the attempts to destroy the German culture with devastating firebombing was not a rightful act.
It’s a ferocious 3-headed dog, but still…anyway, the Molly award for the month of June goes to Cerberus, for her excellent work in guarding the gates of Hell.
Now who deserves the award for the month of July? Leave comments with your nominations here.
I have to call shenanigans on this cartoon:
It left out Mormonism. And since Mormonism is halfway between $cientology and Christianity, given the principle that the right answer is always the one in the middle, she would have found the Mormons just right.
I think that’s right, anyway. People keep telling me that we have to flee from the extremes, i.e. Fundamentalism and that horrible rational evidence-based thinking, to find contentment in the median, i.e. soppy sloppy casual Jesusology. So how can the protagonist of this story actually find happiness in the flaming extremism of science-worshipping godlessness?
Compare and contrast: examine the Christian music video I used in the last instance of the Thread of Caterwauling alongside this lovely example of celebratory atheism from D.O.A.
Some of you may not care for it, but it’s at least music with a pulse, unlike that dead noise that constitutes modern religious music.
(Current totals: 10,776 entries with 1,080,035 comments.)
Since the Catholics are accusing gays of ‘bullying’ by demanding equal rights (how dare they!), and since Minnesota does have a scumbag for a governor, I guess I’ll have to sit back and take it when The Onion mocks our fair state.
You’ve got less than an hour from the time I’ve posted this to tune in to CNN.
It was a very short interview, but Hitchens was clear: the only way there will be a deathbed conversion is if he’s rendered irrational and babbling with pain, and concedes that the person who dies could very well be someone very different from the living Hitch. But while he’s lucid, he’s adamant: he doesn’t believe in gods at all.
It is a relevant point, though, that the ghouls of Christianity do rely on catching their prey in the weakest, most desperate, most damaged point in people’s lives, when they’re at their least rational.
There is no pride or honor in a deathbed conversion. Christians revel in them because they are shameless and dishonorable.
I was interviewed by Connie Barlow and Michael Dowd for their Inspiring Naturalism podcast. Dowd is the fellow who wrote Thank God for Evolution!, which I reviewed a while back. It was a slightly askew interview, but that made it fun.
