Man-hating Chinese doctors murder baby!

God blessed a Chinese woman with twin baby boys, each one ensouled at the instant of fertilization with personhood and a personal divine fate. At their birth, though, the doctors callously ended one proud male life…and they’ve probably got the poor fellow pickled in a jar somewhere. Here’s a photo of the pair.

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That is a baby. The odd blob on his back? That’s his brother, a nicely formed penis growing and thriving there. This is a case of fetus in fetu, in which a mass of cells, either an absorbed twin or a large teratoma (a surprisingly well differentiated, but abnormal, fragment of embryonic tissue), form a partial individual fused to a larger fetus. In this case, all that made it was a penis and what looks like some other adjoining tissues.

Please note that Little Wang (the kids were unnamed, but I have to call him something) is made up of entirely human tissue, and is genuinely alive — blood flows through him, he was probably innervated with sensory and motor nerves, he is obviously sufficiently differentiated that we have no problem calling him male, and he is a miracle of creation — yet what did the doctors do? In a cruel three hour operation, they cut him away from his brother and let him bleed to death.

Yeah, I know what you’re going to say: he was a parasite, entirely dependent on his brother for survival, and could not live on his own—but we all know that argument is totally bogus, because…because…well, because it just is! Life is precious, and you must choose life!

(OK, seriously, this was an awkward developmental difficulty for the child and his parents, but it’s also fascinating. Not enough detail is given in the articles; I’d like to know about deeper levels of organization. Were the various ducts present? Was there any recognizable pelvic tissue? Three hours of surgery implies there may have been some internal entanglements? And most importantly, that location implies that there might have been some spinal involvement — I hope the kid is entirely all right now, and that there won’t be any long term problems.)

(And again seriously, it does raise issues of individuality and human identity. I have no problem saying that the extra penis is an unwanted growth that can be eliminated with no ethical difficulties…but people who claim personhood for a tiny ball of cells ought to have greater problems with this case.)

I want this

It’s a full-sized statue of a buxom pirate on display at an antique shop in Girardville, Pennsylvania. It would look fabulous by the doorway to my house.

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This is not just an infatuation with pirates or cleavage, however. This pirate is special. A Catholic priest in Girardville was so irritated at it that he cursed the statue.

Father Commolly commanded the owners to remove it.

“He pointed to the statue and very dictatorially and said, ‘I curse you. I curse this place. I want to see this destroyed. I want her destroyed,'” said pirate owner Peggy Kanigoski.

The madman! With one stroke, he has greatly increased the value of the object, and has probably moved it way out of my price range. Now it’s not only a pirate statue, it’s a cursed pirate statue. And it would be even more appropriate at my house.

<sigh> It would probably get me cursed by the Trophy Wife, anyway.

My ego is muted by the fact it is not the OED

There’s a new entry in the Urban Dictionary: pz envy.

The jealousy expressed by an atheist who’s not quite as famous, popular, or controversial as PZ Myers. ”

Unknown Atheist Blogger felt some serious pz envy when she realized she didn’t have enough followers to crash a poll.”

Bob: Man, I only got one piece of hate mail last month, but Pharyngula mocked 42 letters this past week!
Jane: Oh, enough of your pz envy!

Clearly, I’m going to have to run out and trademark my name before it becomes commodified by its ubiquitous usage in other contexts.

Porn for math nerds

This recent xkcd should have you all reaching for your calculators.

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I had to look up the population density in my area…it’s 18. Not 18 thousand, just 18. When I plug that number into the formula, I got a value of 4,500 meters, almost 3 miles. The parents of our students will find that a reassuring statistic, I hope.

Of course, the formula lacks a temporal component — that mean distance is going to vary with a circadian rhythm, I would think, with peaks in the evening and early morning hours. Rather than a static number, it should be a function that measures a kind of hourly flux, with all the sexy time people hovering in close around dusk and receding during the day.

Hmmm. If XF included masturbation, that number would be much higher…