God works in mysterious ways

A very devout Catholic was trapped on an elevator for a while, and after it was working again, rushed to church to thank God. Then, something unfortunate happened:

He seems to have embraced a stone pillar on which the stone altar was perched and it fell on him, killing him instantly. We have found his fingerprints on the pillar. We are now investigating the case further.

Now, you see, if he’d rushed off to thank the elevator repairman, that wouldn’t have happened. Given his bad luck, the repairman might have been a demented homicidal maniac who would have clubbed him to death with a spanner, but no altar would have fallen on him. Therefore, religion is bad for your health.

Fairies and Bigfoot

Speaking of being underwhelmed by the arguments, we’ve actually got people arguing for the existence of fairies and bigfoot. They even say they’ve got evidence: here’s the Croydon photo:

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Looks like an ugly flash artifact of an insect caught in flight.

Some guy in Kentucky had a video camera set up to monitor his backyard, and it caught this frame of a purported Bigfoot:

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I have no idea what that blurry blob is…somehow, whenever one of these mysterious creatures is seen, the lucky witness is always either a really awful photographer or is using garbage equipment.

There are some real mysteries here, though. Why was that woman going out to take pictures of her ugly lawn furniture at night, and why does that guy need constant video surveillance of his weedy back yard?

Pareidolia for the godless

Hey, those other people get their Jesus in a pita, their Hebrew blessings from croaking fish, and Allah in their sliced fruit, so it’s about time we got something. How about a fifteen foot tall A in a geological anomaly?

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Sean Murphy sent me this; you can find it in Boulder Canyon up Sugarloaf Road, in Colorado. I don’t expect to hear in the news that the Colorado atheists are all lined up there with candles and anointing oil, OK, or I’ll be very disappointed in you. It’s just a rock.

Cephalopod frenzy!

Several readers have alerted me to this artful cover from Play magazine.

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Why must the videogames always be about the nasty wicked violence? Put away the weapon, young lady! The mysterious creature only wants to play.

But it does remind me…Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is on TV in about an hour and a half, and I need to get ready. What snacks are appropriate for such a movie? The traditional popcorn and soft drink? Or is this more of a large jug of cheap hootch sort of event? And should I start drinking now, or wait for the absurdities to start?

Minnesota State Fair put to shame

One of the claims to fame of midwestern fairs is the food — usually deep fried, and on a stick. Minnesotans must be expressing their inner Thai.

In Thailand, food I have eaten on a stick includes squid, squid tentacles, insects, jellyfish, quail eggs, and every part of a water buffalo including spleen, kidney and testicles.

Squid eggs…onna stick? I’d go for that.

I might pass on the water buffalo testicles on a stick, though.