Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
OK, I saw these links to weird decorations, and except for this set, there’s nary a cephalopod to be seen. And then I realized these aren’t squidmas decorations, they’re nerdmas decorations! Obscenity! Heresy! By not exclusively recognizing our sacred traditions and not snubbing alternatives, this is clearly an instance of the War on Squidmas.
Don’t allow this to happen. When someone waves a Mario Bros. ornament at you, or shows up wearing a stormtrooper helmet, or says “Happy Nerdmas!”, slap ’em with a tentacle and howl about how they’re oppressing you.
Since we’re entering the holiday season, and I wouldn’t want to be accused of contributing to the War on Christmas (oh, horrors!), here are some fortuitously christmassy entertainments.
If you’re shopping for just the right gift for that devout Christian, look into the Twelve Days of Kitschmas. These are exactly the kind of garish ticky-tack most appropriate for your beloved followers of the prosperity gospel.
But perhaps you want to share with more spiritually minded loved ones. How about some Bible verses? In fact, how about the most badass verses in the entire Bible? 1 Samuel 18 suggests some great presents for your father-in-law, too.
Whether you love Christopher Hitchens or hate him, there’s something here for you: you can read Hitchens’ account of getting a full Brazilian. There are photos (don’t worry, nothing to make one stagger to the fainting couch).
I think I’m going to have to cancel my appointment, though. It sounds like it hurts.
For those of you who just like your cephalopods natural, here’s a plush cuttlefish. It’s cute and cuddly, and I wouldn’t mind having one to snuggle up with.
On the other hand, if you like your cephalopods unnatural, you could carry out perverse and disturbing acts on ordinary stuffed animals, turning them into chthonic entities with alien properties.
They’re all fun, and all part of a happy squidmas celebration!
Looking for decorating ideas? This photo series shows how to make a beautiful squidmas tree.
And Dorid is working on a coloring book.
I have no idea how atheism is getting all tangled up with squid.
Noooooo! It’s another paradox!
This is a Cthulhu birthday cake, but it’s entirely vegan! This is just not right. A Cthulhu cake has to be made of various meats stacked in alien geometries and in a state of corruption and decay, topped with ichor icing.
(Hillary is out to get me because I haven’t reviewed her book yet. Insanity doesn’t make it easier!)
I look at this and feel so conflicted.
Ick, it’s a nativity scene. But it’s got cute squid in it! It’s so christian! With squid! Nativity! But squid!
It’s like it was designed to drive me insane.
Nice t-shirt.
It might confuse people if I wore it, though, since they wouldn’t be aware of the original cartoon.
