You couldn’t pay me to ride in a Tesla

Let alone buy one. They’re over-engineered and clumsily designed, as we can see in the example of this stupid, poinless death.

Angela Chao, Sen. Mitch McConnell’s billionaire sister-in-law, spent her last minutes alive frantically calling her friends for help as her Tesla slowly sank in a pond on a remote Texas ranch, according to a report.

Chao, the billionaire former CEO of dry bulk shipping giant Foremost Group, tragically died at the age of 50 on Feb. 10 after accidentally backing her car into the pond while making a three-point turn.

When the car lost power, she couldn’t get out while the car filled with water.

The windows are made of laminated glass, which sounds like a plus, but they’re so hard they aren’t easily broken. The doors are opened electronically, with a clever little button. There is a manual switch for the front doors, but they’re not obvious and you need to have read the manual to know about them. The manual switches for the back doors are buried in a very nonintuitive place, and further, owners are warned that using them too much can damage the finish.

Apparently, changing gears is done with an LED touch screen. Why? Multiple generations of Americans have been trained on simple levers and buttons that are familiar and reliable. There is a virtue to simplicity and obvious controls.

Manual controls are probably cheaper, too, but not as flashy.

Thrashing Boeing, deservedly

Portrait of a modern Boeing plane

Everett, Seattle, Renton, Kent, Auburn — growing up in the Seattle area, we knew the chain of Boeing towns, where so many of our family members worked. My father worked in several of those plants as a diesel mechanic, my mother was wiring the planes, my brother works in the windtunnel unit, my sister was in marketing — we had a lot of Boeing pride. Before about 1990, when booking flights, I’d actually preferentially select Boeing planes over Airbus, because it was reassuring to be on a plane where I could imagine my Mom building cable assemblies with loving care.

No more, of course. Boeing, a company of engineers, merged with McDonnell-Douglas, a company run by profit-seeking military contractors, and oh boy, those flightless chickens have come home to roost, where “home” is no longer a series of factories but skyscrapers in Chicago. They got the John Oliver treatment this week.

I wouldn’t fly in a Boeing MAX plane myself. I’m just a timid little biologist, though…it’s a bad sign when your own former engineers refuse to fly in them. Ed Pierson, ex-Boeing engineer, says:

Last year, I was flying from Seattle to New York, and I purposely scheduled myself on a non-MAX airplane. I went to the gate. I walked in, sat down and looked straight ahead, and lo and behold, there was a 737-8/737-9 safety card. So I got up and I walked off. The flight attendant didn’t want me to get off the plane. And I’m not trying to cause a scene. I just want to get off this plane, and I just don’t think it’s safe. I said I purposely scheduled myself not to fly [on a MAX].

Our recommendation from the foundation is that these planes get grounded — period. Get grounded and inspected and then, depending on what they find, get fixed.

The people to blame are the executives at Boeing.

Boeing’s board of directors — they have a fiduciary responsibility to make sure that their products are safe, and they’re not in touch. They’re not engaged. They don’t visit the sites. They don’t talk to the employees. They’re not on the ground floor. Look, these individuals are making millions of dollars, right? And there’s others between the C-suite and the people on the factory line. There’s hundreds of executives who are also very well compensated and managers that should be doing a lot more. But their leadership is a mess. The leadership sets the whole tone for any organization. Public pressure needs to continue.

That board of directors, and all those executives, don’t know what they’re doing. They ought to all be fired, and the company put in the hands of good engineers who prioritize safety and quality, but instead you’ve got accountants who just want to make lots of money, doing their “fiduciary duty.” Ironically, all that short term emphasis on profit is destroying the company, trashing their reputation, and killing people. I also wouldn’t invest in Boeing any more.

Hey, why are stock buybacks even legal? The executives seem to be more interested in artificially pumping up their stock prices than in, you know, building airplanes.

Oh well. It’s all great news for Airbus.

AI is hell

Can we just knock it off with the AI nonsense? Somebody is profiting off this colossal sinkhole of useless frippery, but I don’t know who. Look what it’s doing to our environment, all because people like Mark Zuckerberg have decided it’s cool, and the future of profiteering.

The amount of water that A.I. uses is unconscionable, particularly given that so many of its data centers are in desert regions that can ill afford to squander it. A.I. uses this much water because of the computing power it requires, which necessitates chilled water to cool down equipment—some of which then evaporates in the cooling process, meaning that it cannot be reused. The Financial Times recently reported academic projections showing that A.I. demand may use about half the amount of water consumed by the United Kingdom in a year. Around the world, communities are rightly beginning to resist the construction of new data centers for this reason.

Then there’s A.I.’s energy use, which could double by 2026, according to a January report by the International Energy Association. That’s the equivalent of adding a new heavily industrialized country, like Sweden or Germany, to the planet.

Microsoft’s own environmental reports reveal these immense problems: As the company has built more platforms for generative A.I., its resource consumption has skyrocketed. In 2022, the company’s use of both water and electricity increased by one-third, its largest uptick ever.

We should be asking what we gain from glossy shiny artificial artwork, or from bizarre texts cobbled together by machines that don’t actually understand anything. Search engines are already corrupted by commercialized algorithms, do we really need to add another complex layer that adds nothing to anything? Tell me one thing AI adds to improve the world.

Do we need this?

Dozens of fake, artificial intelligence-generated photos showing Donald Trump with Black people are being spread by his supporters, according to a new investigation.

BBC Panorama reported that the images appear to be created by supporters themselves. There is no evidence tying the photos to Trump’s campaign.

One photo was created by the Florida-based conservative radio show host Mark Kaye.

“I’m not out there taking pictures of what’s really happening. I’m a storyteller,” Kaye told BBC. “I’m not claiming it is accurate. I’m not saying, ‘Hey, look, Donald Trump was at this party with all of these African American voters. Look how much they love him.’”

Maybe what we really need is a Butlerian Jihad.

Perpetually growing meat!

This is mildly interesting: scientists have modified muscle cells in culture so that they produce their own growth factors. This is a major cost reduction, because now you won’t need to constantly supplement your vat of muscle cells with a relatively expensive reagent.

Cellular agriculture – the production of meat from cells grown in bioreactors rather than harvested from farm animals – is taking leaps in technology that are making it a more viable option for the food industry. One such leap has now been made at the Tufts University Center for Cellular Agriculture (TUCCA), led by David Kaplan, Stern Family Professor of Engineering, in which researchers have created bovine (beef) muscle cells that produce their own growth factors, a step that can significantly cut costs of production.

Growth factors, whether used in laboratory experiments or for cultivated meat, bind to receptors on the cell surface and provide a signal for cells to grow and differentiate into mature cells of different types. In this study published in the journal Cell Reports Sustainability, researchers modified stem cells to produce their own fibroblast growth factor (FGF) which triggers the growth of skeletal muscle cells – the kind one finds in a steak or hamburger.

Keep in mind that this works for cultured meat cells, which is completely different from the artificial meat made from plants that you can buy in stores right now. I have a few reservations about it.

This is basically a tool to remove a regulatory limit on muscle growth. When this happens in vivo, we call it cancer. I suspect the marketing department will balk at labeling it “tumor meat”.

The technique amplifies one cell type. Edible meat has texture and is made up of a mix of cell types, fat and connective tissue. This is a way to make large quantities of something that is equivalent to ‘pink slime’ or, as the marketers call it, ‘lean finely textured beef.’ We already do this! I guess it’s a good thing to be able to produce large quantities of protein in the form of ‘pink slime’ more cheaply, and without the need to slaughter animals to do it.

Without a regulatory limit on growth, though, don’t be surprised if a news headline later announces that Boston has been eaten by a giant ever-growing blob of immortal meat.

Never mind the Vegas Eye, I want to see the Sludge Tunnels

The only reason to visit Las Vegas is for the exotic spectacles (don’t gamble, it’s a scam) and Elon Musk may have added another one.

Despite a decade of dreaming, Elon Musk has only built one tiny Hyperloop tunnel in Las Vegas — and the people who built it say it’s filled with dangerous chemical sludge.

As Bloomberg reports, the Boring Company’s scarce output — which thus far amounts only to driving Teslas around a few miles of neon-lit tunnel underneath Sin City as they ferry convention attendees at no more than 40 miles per hour — has also come with a massive buildup of waste, the consistency of a milkshake, that’s said to burn the skin of anyone who comes in contact with it.

In interviews with the news source, Boring Company workers who declined to give their names on the record for fear of retribution said that in some parts of Musk’s Vegas tunnel system, the sludge would sometimes be up to two feet high. If it got over their work boots or onto their faces, they said, it would burn their skin.

The article doesn’t say where the toxic sludge is coming from, which makes me wonder what is leaking. The Daily Mail — not a reliable source at all — is reporting that the sludge is made of chemical accelerants, and that the worker’s complaints were made while the tunnel was under construction.

It was a crap project anyway, and a poor solution to transit problems, so shut it down already. Hyperloop One, Virgin’s project, has already been declared dead. I hope somebody in Minnesota is paying attention to the news, and is ready to kill the Minnesota hyperloop project.

Once the Boring Tunnel nonsense is shut down, we can get back to the serious business of mocking Elon Musk’s Flaming Vehicles of Fiery Death.

Two men were left in serious condition after the Tesla they were traveling in went off an overpass and burst into flames on the 134 Freeway in the Griffith Park neighborhood of Los Angeles Sunday night.

See, it’s like a metaphor for Musk’s career and an entertaining fireworks display in one! (the occupants of the car survived, fortunately. Let’s not have the spectacle of drivers on fire or tunnel workers melting.)

Somebody didn’t get the obituary

Some people in Minnesota have a dream to make a popular commute easier — the hour and a half drive from the Big City of Minneapolis to the Major Medical Hub of Rochester, where the Mayo Clinic is located. These dreamers want a whole bunch of money to research a proposal to build a…hyperloop.

Hyperloop? Are they kidding us?

Hyperloop is a fantasy built up by Elon Musk that has never been implemented successfully, and when tried, simply sucks up a huge amount of money for transportation infrastructure to kill more practical ideas for mass transit. People are still considering it?

…group of high-profile backers is seeking millions in funding from the Metropolitan Council to help get the proposed project up and running.

The largely theoretical rail technology, known as hyperloop, was popularized in 2013 when billionaire Elon Musk published a white paper on the subject. Though some have expressed skepticism over the mogul’s seriousness about Hyperloop, there are active efforts around the world and in the U.S. to see it come to fruition — and Minnesota is the latest proposed site for such a system.

A nonprofit called Global Wellness Connections — whose board members include the mayors of Edina and Plymouth as well as former Secretary of State Mark Ritchie — is asking the Met Council’s Transportation Advisory Board for “most of the $2.5 million” needed for a feasibility study of a Minneapolis-Rochester hyperloop.

It’s dead, Jim.

Today, no full-scale hyperloops exist anywhere in the world. Musk’s test tunnel in California is gone. The man himself has become more enamored with endorsing antisemitic theories than solving the problem of car traffic.

The Boring Company, Musk’s tunneling operation, is still digging underground passageways in Las Vegas — but for Teslas, not hyperloops. The future, it would seem, is nearly the same as the present.

They want $2.5 million for a “feasibility study”. I’ll do it for a mere million dollars! Here’s the report I’ll send: “No, it’s not feasible, and has failed everywhere. How about building a regular commuter train?”

This is some real super-villain shit, you know

Neuralink has begun human trials, we think. The problem is that all we know about it is an announcement made by head jackass Musk on Twitter, which isn’t exactly a reputable source. That doesn’t stop Nature from commenting on it. I’m not used to seeing rumors published in that journal, and if you think about it, this is basically a condemnation of the experiment.

…there is frustration about a lack of detailed information. There has been no confirmation that the trial has begun, beyond Musk’s tweet. The main source of public information on the trial is a study brochure inviting people to participate in it. But that lacks details such as where implantations are being done and the exact outcomes that the trial will assess, says Tim Denison, a neuroengineer at the University of Oxford, UK.

The trial is not registered at ClinicalTrials.gov, an online repository curated by the US National Institutes of Health. Many universities require that researchers register a trial and its protocol in a public repository of this type before study participants are enrolled. Additionally, many medical journals make such registration a condition of publication of results, in line with ethical principles designed to protect people who volunteer for clinical trials. Neuralink, which is headquartered in Fremont, California, did not respond to Nature’s request for comment on why it has not registered the trial with the site.

So…no transparency, no summary of the goals or methods of the experiment, and no ethical oversight. All anyone knows is that Elon Musk’s team sawed open someone’s skull and stuck some wires and electronics directly into their brain, for purposes unknown, and with little hope of seeing the outcome published in a reputable journal. OK.

Besides the science shenanigans, I’m also curious to know about what kind of NDAs and agreements to never ever sue Neuralink the patients/victims had to sign. There has got to be some wild legal gyrations going on, too.

First charge my phone, next step…the Moon!

That thing to the right is a USB-C charger, a totally mundane device that we tend to take for granted. You’ve probably got one, or something similar. I have a similar device by a different company, it’s a boring utilitarian widget you need to keep a device powered up.

It contains a 48mHz CPU, 8K RAM, and 128K of flash memory. I’m torn between sneering at those pathetic stats and being impressed that a mere charger has that much computing power — my first home computer had a 1mHz CPU and 16K RAM, and heck, now mere cables contain complex circuitry.

But now compare that USB charger to the Apollo 11 guidance computer.

Compared with the Apollo 11 Guidance Computer it runs at ~48 times the clock speed with 1.8x the program space.

They compared several USB chargers to the Apollo guidance computer.

I guess once I dismantle this here stupid $30 wall charger, all I need to do is assemble a few million kilograms of simple stuff like rocket engines and fuel and a life support system, and I’ll be taking off for the moon. See you all later!

An exercise in geography

It’s a journey of increasing uneasiness. A guy in an office is browsing Google Earth, and sees a dark circle in the middle of nowhere in Madagascar, and gets curious: he sees buildings inside of an old crater. He traces satellite photos back in time, and learns that the buildings weren’t there before 2008. He digs deeper, never leaving his office, but looking for photos and people on the internet who might help him figure out what’s going on in this remote place, which has virtually no footprint on the web.

So far, I’m with him. This is interesting! How much can you figure out about an isolated spot on the globe without lifting your butt from a chair? He’s calling up people in Madagascar, scientists and college professors, and asking them what’s going on in that crater. It’s purely academic, he just seems to be getting a bit obsessively invested in this random question, and now he’s pestering people on the island.

Then he hires a half dozen people to make the trek from the nearest city to this isolated place. He has the money, he can draft a few locals to do some leg work for him, all to satisfy his curiosity. Unfortunately, it’s the rainy season, the roads are terrible, they can’t get there.

So he waits for the dry season, hires another bunch of locals to make a second trip, and they get there at last. It’s a village of about 300 people. They’re tense and worried. They’re suspicious and wonder why these strangers have suddenly shown up on their doorstep.

They don’t tell them that this well-off white man a few thousand miles away had seen their homes from outer space and had spent a lot of time and money to invade their privacy and make a video telling the whole world about them. As a reward for exposing these people, the video creator got a million views on YouTube and thousands of comments telling him how great he was. But what does the village get? Did they even want this kind of attention?

Here’s the video. It’s professionally done. A lot of people spent a lot of money satisfying idle curiosity, which you’d think I’d appreciate, but I don’t know…how would I feel if a film crew showed up at my house, and they announced that this wealthy Malagasy guy was kind of curious about what I was doing and had commissioned them to come report on how I spent my time? He was too busy to make the trip himself, but he’d definitely make sure everyone knew my business.

Maybe I’d feel less queasy about it all if the narrator had cared enough to make the trip himself, and wasn’t parading the people around on the internet like some kind of exhibit.

UIs matter

Well, this is a horror story about coding incompetence. There is this nice gadget that can be controlled from your phone to automagically dispense insulin, a real boon to diabetics. You just type how big a dose you need into your phone, and it signals and discreet little device to deliver it. No manual injections!

Except their software drops the initial decimal point. If you type “0.5”, it’s fine, it delivers 0.5 units of insulin. If you type “.5”, it ignores the decimal point, and delivers 5 units. You better not type “.50”, or oh boy, here comes 50 units.

This must have been a fun letter for Omnipod to send out.

Dear Valued Customer,

You are receiving this letter as our records indicate that you are a user of the Omnipod® 5 App from Google Play on your compatible Android smartphone. The app is part of the Omnipod 5 Automated Insulin Delivery System. This notice is a voluntary Medical Device Correction related to an issue with the Omnipod 5 App bolus calculator. Insulet has received 2 reports of adverse events related to this issue.

We have received reports from Omnipod 5 smartphone app users where the bolus calculator is not recording the decimal point if it is the first value entered when changing a bolus dose. If the user does not recognize the issue, this may lead to delivery of more insulin than intended, which can lead to severe hypoglycemia.

I’m imagining corporate lawyers having heart attacks when this bug was discovered.

Hey, computer science instructors, this’ll be a good example to use if your students complain about mundane data entry tasks!