Well, that explains a lot about that shooter

Meet the Club Q murderer’s father. You’ll immediately regret it.

He goes on to say, “I praised him for violent behavior really early. I told him it works… You’ll get immediate results.” He’s definitely among the Republican base, emphasis on “base.”

Here are the immediate results his son got.

Be anti-woke, go broke

Peter Thiel funded it. Candace Owens promoted it. I had never heard of this GloriFi bank until it collapsed.

It’s whole deal was that it was “anti-woke,” whatever that means. Since it was run by a gang of rabid capitalists who didn’t know what “woke” means, that doesn’t matter. What it really was was an ideologically driven attempt to prove that conservative principles were profitable and practical. They weren’t.

As The Wall Street Journal, which first reported on GloriFi’s shuttering, puts it, the business was “anti-woke.” While GloriFi itself never publicly described itself as anti-woke, the company had no qualms about marketing itself as a service provider for right-wing America. In a July press release, the company described itself as “a pro-freedom, pro-America, pro-capitalism technology company . . . empowering members to put their money where their values are and preserve the Country they believe in.”

In other words, its foundation was built on far-right paranoia and their bizarre obsessions.

Pitching itself as a financial institution that allowed one to be “free to celebrate your love of God and country without fear of cancellation,” GloriFi’s marketing read more like a campaign ad than an enticing APR offer on a new credit card. Highlights from the “about us” page include: “OUR BILL OF RIGHTS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE” and “WE ARE ONE NATION UNDER GOD.”

In its short tenure GloriFi, managed to launch checking and savings accounts as well as credit cards, with plans to offer mortgages and insurance in a future that will no longer take place. Founder and CEO Toby Neugebauer pitched plans to offer gun owners discounts on home insurance, credit cards made of shell casing material, and assistance paying legal bills if customers shot someone in self-defense. Over the summer, GloriFi secured conservative commentator Candace Owens as a co-founder and spokesperson for the brand.

Guys. Guys. GUYS. I know this is news to you, but regular banks won’t cancel your account if you announce that you love god and America. That’s not a sound basis for differentiating yourself from the competition. In fact, it makes you look weird, and especially stuff like the special privileges for gun-owners and people who shoot other people was probably counter to profitability. Having a controversial freak like Candace Owens (what? Laura Loomer was unavailable?) as the face of your company didn’t project seriousness, either.

Predictably, it imploded.

But GloriFi was unable to translate ideological grandstanding into functional corporate management. Even before its public launch, the startup was plagued by reports of chaos amongst staff and financiers. GloriFi missed its planned launch date several times, at one point due to clashes with Texas financial regulators. Reports emerged of unpaid invoices and erratic behavior from Neugebauer, who had converted his home Dallas mansion into the company’s main office.

According to the Journal, the company was eventually forced to hire a law firm to investigate workplace issues, particularly around Neugebauer. In one memo reviewed by the Journal, GloriFi’s former Head of Human Resources Britt Amos described several employees at Neugebaur’s mansion telling him to “make sure I leave around six,” and explaining that “after 5 p.m. Toby starts drinking and things at the house deteriorate quickly.” Amos also described a meeting where a visibly drunk Neugebauer was “drinking Red Bull and putting alcohol in it.”

You know, being “woke” just means you’re aware of the social shortcomings of the existing system, and are concerned about fairness and equality. Declaring yourself “anti-woke” implies that you’re ignorant of reality and want a system that will screw people over, things I do not want in a financial institution.

Count every penny before you go to the airport

Customs agents can steal your money if you don’t report it accurately.

The traveler, a U.S. citizen male who CBP is not identifying because he was not criminally charged, verbally reported to officers that he possessed $20,000 and completed a U.S. Treasury Department form for his reported amount. During a baggage examination, CBP officers discovered a total of $33,868. Officers seized the currency and released the traveler.

OK, there is such a crime as structuring, when you play games with bank deposits and withdrawals to avoid reporting large sums that might be taxable, or suggestive of criminal activity — that’s what got Kent Hovind sent to prison for 10 years. That’s naughty. It’s a red flag. So it’s fair to regard under-reporting with suspicion.

But note: “he was not criminally charged.” They just saw a discrepancy and used that as an excuse to promptly rob this guy in plain sight. Maybe he was a bad guy, we don’t know, because there was no investigation and no trial — for all we know, US Customs just ruined a man’s vacation on a whim. They make no other explanation, other than to prominently note that he was going to Egypt, one of those Islamic nations, so Republicans will assume he’s fair game.

Fright Night is a pretty cool movie, but dude…spoilers

Herschel Walker on the campaign trail keeps topping himself.

I was here watching a stupid movie late at night hoping it’s gonna get better it don’t get better but you keep watching anyway. Cause the other night, the other night I was watching this movie — I was watching this movie called Fright Night, Freak Night or some type of night but it was about vampires. I don’t know if you know but vampires are some cool people are they not? But let me tell you something that I found out: a werewolf can kill a vampire did you know that? I never knew that. So I don’t want to be a vampire anymore I wanna be a werewolf.

But then anyway as I’m watching this movie and then you tell how stupid it is cause it’s one in the morning. So I’m watching my TV of these kids watching their TV of a vampire killed on their TV. So you know it’s kinda stupid, but I’m still watching though. As I’m watching this show what was funny was these kids had a vampire in their attic at their house. So they were watching their TV, now I’m watching my TV, they’re watching their TV, they see the vampire killed on their TV. So they win this contest to bring this actor — now y’all gotta stay with me — bring this actor who’s a vampire killer from that TV to get rid of this [unintelligible] vampire in their attic. So this actor comes into their home, he got all the right stuff. He got all the right stuff. Because you know, gotta have a stake, gotta have a thing to kill him in the heart. And he’s got a necklace of garlic, cause that work. I don’t know what it does but it work. Gotta have a cross, cause it burns, I know that works.

And then all of a sudden, this is what’s so funny about it: as they’re walking through the house, this, this guys got the holy water and he’s blessing the house, this actor now he’s all faith. He’s blessing the house with his holy water. He walked upstairs and this vampire looking real good in his black suit, whoa that sounds like Senator Warnock doesn’t it? Looking all good in his black suit. Floated from the ceiling , he floated from the ceiling looking good and cool. And I’m thinking “Whoa, they better get out of that house.” If somebody float from your ceiling, get out of that house. That’s not your house. But as he floated from the ceiling the kid jumped behind their hero, and they jumped behind their hero, the guy jumped in front of them with this holy water threw it on the vampire forehead, he covered his eyes. Then he took his hand away and started laughing. And he said “that don’t work.” He took the cross and put it on the vampire forehead and the vampire didn’t even do anything he said “that don’t work.” And that’s where it is in our life. It don’t even work unless you’ve got faith.

I read that and had to instantly convert to Christianity, because of the cool vampires. Also because that monologue pithed my forebrain.

It’s shocking that this bozo has a chance to win a run-off election

Seriously, why would anyone vote for a guy who says, If we was ready for the green agenda, I’d raise my hand right now. But we’re not ready right now … What we need to do is keep having those gas-guzzling cars, ’cause we got the good emissions under those cars? It makes no sense. It’s stupid.

Republicans understand it, though, because that’s how stupid they are, and they will vote for him.

There are barbarians and savages on our southern border!

They are called “Texians” or “Texans” or something like that. They are a cruel and nasty people who have just announced a set of brutal laws.

It is now open season on brown-skinned people.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has invoked the Invasion Clauses of the U.S. and Texas Constitutions to formally declare illegal immigration at the state’s Mexico border an invasion. In a letter sent out Monday, Abbott notified county judges along the Texas-Mexico border that he will “fully authorize Texas to take unprecedented measures to defend our state against an invasion.” The recently reelected governor also shared portions of the letter on Twitter Tuesday morning.

In the letter, Abbott outlined steps that will be taken by the state under his constitutional authority to “keep the state and country safe,” which include deploying the National Guard and Texas Department of Public Safety to arrest and turn away immigrants crossing the U.S.-Mexico border, building a border wall along counties on the border, deploying gun boats to secure the border, entering agreements with other U.S. states and foreign powers to enhance border security, and providing resources for border counties to increase their efforts to respond to the border “invasion.”

They’ve progressed from immigrants and refugees to illegals to, now, “invaders” which now requires armed Nation Guard units and gunboats to fend off. He has officially declared it an invasion that requires mobilizing military force. Look at these scary “invaders”!

The one thing that might spare us the savagery of the Texians is that they are also a chickenshit people who wet their pants in terror at the sight of brown children and the sound of Spanish.

But there’s more! They’ve also filed a bill, HB672, that criminalizes gender affirming care. If parents support their trans kids, they can be arrested and thrown in prison, and those kids would then be rounded up and place in the care of a state that hates them.

Once again, for some mysterious reason, these Texas barbarians are terrified by children. Unfortunately, this means we Northern states might soon face a flood of families fleeing the oppression, and we’ll have to defend our borders with Texas…not with military might, but with aid services and food banks and relocation assistance and the dreaded social workers. We can’t build a wall, though, because we have to let people escape the misery that is Republicans of Texas.

The one worry is that there are forces at work in Greater America that want to turn all of the country into Little Craven Texas. One of the chief architects of such a belittling change just announced that he’s running for president yesterday, when he should be in jail or a mental institution. Don’t let the puling maggots of the Right win!

Kari Lake, loser

I wasn’t convinced that Lake had actually lost — it was close! — but now I’m happy to accept it. Sean Hannity announced her defeat! That’s how you know it’s true, Fox News and its loud pundits will only accept reality grudgingly.

Don’t weep for Ms Lake, though, I’m sure she has a profitable and angry future in front of her as another shrieking voice of resentment on one of those conservative news networks.

Never mind the tumbrels, bring on the lawyers

Here’s an interesting tactic for destroying billionaires: sue them for cheating. You can’t get that rich without stealing the money somehow, so if you find evidence of tax fraud, sic a bunch of ravening lawyers on them. Michael Saylor is finding that out.

Michael Saylor amassed a multibillion-dollar fortune, splurging to combine three Georgetown penthouses into a palatial 7,000-square-foot residence, snapping up a 154-foot yacht dubbed Mr. Terrible and throwing lavish soirees including one where he was draped with an albino python.

All the while, the tech titan did not pay income tax in the District for years and bragged about it to friends, anonymous whistleblowers allege. They said he told people they were “fools” if they did not buy a home in Florida as he did and claim to live there. The state has no income tax.

He’s rich. He flaunts it. He owns 5 yachts and multiple mansions. He doesn’t pay any taxes because he’s found loopholes, such as by buying a mansion in Florida (no income tax in Florida!) and then claiming that’s his primary residence. By enforcing tax laws, people can claw back a fraction of his ill-gotten wealth, at least.

The key to forcing a billionaire to cough up is to enable citizens to hunt him down and cut a bounty out of his hide.

All told, Racine alleges Saylor failed to pay at least $25 million in income taxes, but he could owe much more. D.C. law allows the city to collect triple the owed amount in damages, along with assorted interest, fees and penalties. Racine said in the interview he hopes to recover more than $100 million from Saylor. The whistleblowers would keep 15 to 25 percent if and when any money is recovered.

It’s all down to a new law in Washington DC.

These False Claims Act laws are modeled on a Civil War-era federal statute that has helped return billions to federal coffers, but the federal law bars action on tax fraud, and most states have followed that lead in their statutes.

D.C. switched that up with its new False Claims Act, which went into effect in 2021 and allows whistleblowers to pursue cases in which the alleged fraudster has income of more than $1 million and damages collected will exceed $350,000. At first it was little known outside wonky tax circles.

They’re going to have to work fast, though, because Saylor’s wealth is built on cryptocurrency, and has repeatedly vaporized. Crypto is currently facing its own reckoning, and Saylor lost $1.4 billion just recently. They might end up dragging a pauper into court.

That’s the real crime, not only tax dodging but making all of his money with this venal Ponzi scheme called bitcoin. That’s the greater crime, that crypto is a tool for scraping money out of gullible investors — and PENSION FUNDS???? Jesus. I would hope my pension isn’t being thrown away on something like that.

In October 2021, one of Quebec’s largest pension funds — the Caisse de Depot et Placement du Québec — invested $150 million into the crypto-lending company called the Celsius Network — which may now be facing bankruptcy.

That same month, the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan (OTPP) announced its investment in FTX Trading Ltd, supplying at least $50 million into a meme-inspired fundraising round — raising $420.69 million from 69 investors. FTX hasn’t crashed like Celsius Network just yet, but the investment is putting teacher pensions in danger.

That quote is from July. FTX recently crashed, as expected. Sorry, Ontario teachers.