A nurse who counseled the dying has compiled a list of popular final regrets. I have to confess…I was disappointed. These aren’t very interesting, but I suppose they are sincere and honest.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I have no problem there. No problem at all.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
OK, maybe that would affect me…but I don’t know what I’d do otherwise. I have a job I enjoy, so there’d have to be some other alternative activity I’d rather I’d been doing.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Heh. Not a problem, again. Although I do admit that I’m quicker to criticize than to praise.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Huh? They should be regretting that they haven’t kept in touch with me!
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I’m pretty happy, but I can’t imagine feeling this way at all. If dying happy was what mattered about your life, I’d have to plunge into the ‘hookers and blow’ cliche.
So I thought about what regrets I might actually have.
“I regret that I have not eaten the hearts of all of my enemies.”
“I regret that I still don’t understand X,” where X is whatever the latest concern in my field of science. Right now it would probably be the totality of mechanisms responsible for translating genes into form. I’ll only have to change that question if I live another century (I’m optimistic).
“I regret that those physicists still haven’t delivered on my time machine.” That’s right, physicists, I might curse you with my dying breath.
“I regret that you haven’t brought me a priest to strangle.”
“I regret that I’m fucking dying. STOP IT!”