Where can I find this “Nature Store”?
The perfect Cephalopodmas gift
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Where can I find this “Nature Store”?
I take my criticisms back. It seems Intelligent Design creationism has made a profound contribution to computer science.
Introduction
Intelligent design sort is a sorting algorithm based on the theory of intelligent design.
Algorithm Description
The probability of the original input list being in the exact order it’s in is 1/(n!). There is such a small likelihood of this that it’s clearly absurd to say that this happened by chance, so it must have been consciously put in that order by an intelligent Sorter. Therefore it’s safe to assume that it’s already optimally Sorted in some way that transcends our naïve mortal understanding of “ascending order”. Any attempt to change that order to conform to our own preconceptions would actually make it less sorted.
Analysis
This algorithm is constant in time, and sorts the list in-place, requiring no additional memory at all. In fact, it doesn’t even require any of that suspicious technological computer stuff. Praise the Sorter!
Since Wilkins, Lynch, and Mike are doing this, I must follow (my mom said something about friends and cliffs once…I’m hoping that they don’t ever decide to jump off one). The two mad biologists achieve parity!
You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, “blame America first”-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day…. in Guantanamo!
I can’t gloat too much, though. This is one of those skewed tests where I think you’d have to be certifiably insane to score below 90%.
If you need help figuring out how to irritate me, here’s a long, long list.
Those godless heathenish Scandinavians…I think you can figure this one out even if you don’t know Norwegian.
Thanks, Kjetil Åkra!
If you really must have something in English, Kristine uncovers a Chick parody: Mommy burns in Hell. That’ll cheer you right up.
Go ahead, fill it out. These forms are so easy to lose. Don’t forget to send in the warranty information, too!
The Onion reports on the latest anti-evolution tactic.
In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.
“From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God’s intended design,” said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. “This is about protecting the integrity of all creation.”
The new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from any willful adaptation to changing environmental conditions. In addition, it strictly limits any activity that may result in enhanced health or survival beyond the current average lifespan of their particular species.
My first thought was this will have the good effect of ending that pesky antibiotic resistance problem, but this law is going to have sweeping effects.
Human beings may be the species most deeply affected by the new legislation. Those whose cytochrome-c molecules vary less than 2 percent from those of chimpanzees will be in direct violation of the law.
There is no hint of what the penalties might be, but I think everyone better stop procreating, just to be on the safe side.
My eyes have been opened. All this time, I’ve simply been taking for granted a common biological theory, and now that I’ve been alerted to the controversy, I’ve had to rethink the evidence. I’ve merely assumed that sexual reproductionism is valid. This fellow has completely ripped the idea apart.
For instance, you can say, “And I say evolution is only a theory,” and the only consequences you might face are the risks of being elected to high political position as a Republican.
This is hilarious: a couple of atheists get some bicycles, white shirts and ties, and travel around Salt Lake City knocking on doors and bringing the good word of godlessness to the Mormons. One old guy is an LDS bishop, and thinks that’s a good enough reason for them to stop bothering him (although, of course, if someone is Catholic or atheist or Baptist, that’s not enough reason to stop proselytizing to them…besides, LDS bishops are thick on the ground out there); another feebly swings a broom at them; there is some door slamming going on. Although it’s funny, I think the Mormons would be oblivious to the irony—missionary work is a painfully intense part of the culture out there.
One other problem is that it isn’t quite fair to pull this stunt in Salt Lake. Salt Lake City is about half gentile, and especially if they were hitting up neighborhoods around the university they may have been pestering a fair number of unbelievers. They should have tried it in Price or Ogden or Provo. I suspect, though, that they probably didn’t want to risk getting shot, and more than a few people would have called the police on them…who would then have escorted them right out of town.
