Royce White is a former professional basketball player who really, really wants to replace our Democratic Senator, Amy Klobuchar. Say what you want about Klobuchar, I don’t think she’s going to be sweating over this race.

White posted a map of the “out-of-control crime” in Minneapolis and said we need to refund the police.

One problem.

White, a 33-year-old retired NBA player who was recently accused of dropping $1,200 of campaign funds at a Miami strip club, appeared to have ripped the graphic from another account on X who had shared it sarcastically. It showed dozens of green dots, which indicated working fountains, and a handful of red and yellow dots, which signified those broken and being repaired across Minneapolis.

Hey, you never know. Maybe he’s like John Snow and the Broad Street Pump — he’s discovered a previously unknown vector for the spread of crime, not cholera, in the city. Unfortunately for that hypothesis, he quickly deleted his tweet, and is now really angry at the people who exposed his foolishness (not to mention his abuse of campaign funds at a strip club.)

You’re a cuck. We’re leaving the plantation, White tweeted at a Minnesota-based reporter, Christopher Ingraham, who pointed out the error. You and your weird liberal buddies read it and weep.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, he’s running for office as a Republican.

I was checking my calendar as I do every morning, when I discovered that today, 14 June, is an official US holiday (but not a federal holiday — sorry, you don’t get to take a day off work). It’s Flag Day!

I’ve never been much of a fan of flags. I got weirded out back in third grade when I suddenly realized that the morning ritual the school put us through every day was to pledge allegiance to a flag, and I just plain stopped. I’d stand up and try to blend into the background, because I didn’t want to get beat up on the playground afterwards, but wouldn’t say any words. Why? Because they were stupid. A flag is a colorful piece of cloth, nothing more, and not a sentient being or a principle or a deity.

Flag Day has a new level of meaning this year, because flags have become a potent symbol of political disagreement. We’re a polarized nation, so why not trot out a big flag, the uglier the better, to declare your affiliation? I’ve noticed that most of my neighbors don’t have any flags at all; there’s just one house several blocks away that I see with flags tacked up everywhere. They’re all Gadsden flags or blue line flags, and they’re interspersed with Trump signs, and they’ve got “JESUS” spray-painted on their roof.

Maybe flags do have a useful function, then. They’re markers for where the town assholes live.

With that purpose in mind, then, we can see the latest scandal in a new light. Justice Samuel Alito and his wife Martha-Ann have been warring with their neighbors, waving flags to symbolize their allegiance to the Empire of Assholes.

Martha-Ann, when asked about it by a reporter, started screaming and eventually hoisted another, different, flag up the flagpole—did figure in it. It was more about how the Alitos are, as neighbors and just in general.

So it fit that, when given an opportunity or just a moment of otherwise neutral space through which to charge, Martha-Ann simply ran her mania up there in the assumption that the person who had just begun talking to her at a fundraiser would salute. “I’m putting it up and I’m gonna send them a message every day, maybe every week, I’ll be changing the flags,'” she fantasized, to someone she’d never previously met. “They’ll be all kinds. I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag. It’s white and has yellow and orange flames around it. And in the middle is the word ‘vergogna.’ ‘Vergogna’ in Italian means shame—vergogna. V-E-R-G-O-G-N-A. Vergogna.” Anyway, it’s a nice thing to think about, someday being able to raise a flag above your home that tells the neighbors that you think they are disgusting and going to hell.

I can see how flags can have some significance. I just don’t see the point of celebrating that.

I find nationalism and racism to be mostly indistinguishable — they’re both reductive and draw false connections and conclusions. At least I’ve got George Orwell to draw a line between patriotism and nationalism.

By ‘nationalism’ I mean first of all the habit of assuming that human beings can be classified like insects and that whole blocks of millions or tens of millions of people can be confidently labelled ‘good’ or ‘bad’. But secondly — and this is much more important — I mean the habit of identifying oneself with a single nation or other unit, placing it beyond good and evil and recognizing no other duty than that of advancing its interests. Nationalism is not to be confused with patriotism. Both words are normally used in so vague a way that any definition is liable to be challenged, but one must draw a distinction between them, since two different and even opposing ideas are involved. By ‘patriotism’ I mean devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be the best in the world but has no wish to force on other people. Patriotism is of its nature defensive, both militarily and culturally. Nationalism, on the other hand, is inseparable from the desire for power. The abiding purpose of every nationalist is to secure more power and more prestige, not for himself but for the nation or other unit in which he has chosen to sink his own individuality.

It’s so strange to live in a time and a place where many people are professing to be nationalists, as if it’s a good and honorable thing. They haven’t learned what it means!

Maybe this cartoon will help.

What’s even stranger is that some people like to argue that fascism is a legitimate political ideology. This cartoon is for them.

Do you think it’s too subtle?

Good news for Texans who like butts! And fart jokes!

After a case spurred by complaints on books containing the words “butt” and “fart” as well as touching on the topics of racism and LGBTQ+ identity, an appellate court has ruled that Texas cannot ban books from libraries simply because officials “dislike the idea contained in those books”.

The fifth US circuit court of appeals issued its decision on Thursday in a 76-page majority opinion, which was written by Judge Jacques Wiener Jr and opened with a quote from American poet Walt Whitman: “The dirtiest book in all the world is the expurgated book.”

In its decision, the appellate court declared that “government actors may not remove books from a public library with the intent to deprive patrons of access to ideas with which they disagree”.

Maybe Texas will catch up to Minnesota. We have a new law, passed at the end of the legislative session, that prohibits all that book banning that Republicans love.

There were some major bills that did not pass in the chaotic last days of the Minnesota legislative session. One bill that did pass prohibits public and school libraries from banning a book “based solely on its viewpoint or the messages, ideas or opinions it conveys.” It also protects library employees from discipline against them for complying with the new rules.

It’s not all good news. Among the important bill blocked by the chaos of obstructionist Republicans were the bonds to improve university facilities.

On May 20, 2024, the Minnesota Legislature adjourned sine die without garnering the 60% of votes required to pass a capital investment bill funded by general obligation bonds. Despite both parties citing bonding as a top priority in the beginning of the session, politics between the two parties, fueled in part by the upcoming House elections, prevented them from striking a deal. The Minnesota Legislature ran out of time to pass a smaller, cash-only bonding bill before the constitutionally mandated time of adjournment.

I guess we’ll struggle along, as always. At least we can assign textbooks that feature butts!

This guy wants to be our president again, so he was demonstrating his perspicacity with a riveting speech at a rally.

My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, ’til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between. Three wars back we called Sauerkraut “liberty cabbage” and we called liberty cabbage “super slaw” and back then a suitcase was known as a “Swedish lunchbox.” We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ’em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Ah, there’s an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…

Whoops, wait, sorry. That’s Grandpa Simpson’s speech from the TV show. It’s pretty much the same thing, but in the interests of accuracy, here’s what the brain-damaged fascist actually said.

It must be because of MIT, my relationship with MIT, very smart, I say, what would happen if the boat sank from its weight, & you’re in the boat, & you have this tremendously powerful battery, and the battery’s now under water, & there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there—by the way, a lot of shark attacks lately, do you notice that?—I watched some guys justifying it today, ‘Well they weren’t really that angry, they bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they weren’t hungry but they misunderstood who she was.’

Note: he had an uncle who taught at MIT. That’s the extent of the “relationship,” he did not graduate from MIT, he did not attend MIT, he did not have lunch from a food truck in the Kendall/MIT Open Space. He just launched into this rambling nonsense because he doesn’t like vehicles that don’t burn guzzoline.

This was at a rally in Nevada, which is land-locked, and where they don’t have many shark attacks. None, actually.

…These people are quick. He said, ‘there’s no problem with sharks, they just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming,” no really got decimated and other people too, a lot of shark attacks. So I said, ‘there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards, or here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking? Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted?

His mind wanders. This was a part of the speech that was supposed to be about electric vehicles, he’s somehow leapt the track and is babbling about sharks, and now he has invented a new moral dilemma about sharks and electrocution.

…Because I will tell you, he didn’t know the answer. He said, ‘You know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.’ I said, ‘I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water.’ But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. So we’re going to end that, we’re going to end it for boats, we’re going to end it for trucks.

Please do take electrocution. Any time.

If you want an actual scientific opinion on the subject, Andrew Thaler has one.

I would just point out that in the cinema classic Jaws 2, the danger was resolved by having the big bad shark bite an underwater power cable, ending the shark menace until Jaws 3-D.

The battle lines are rather sharply drawn. We’ve got two political parties, and one of them is falling into a dark pit of insanity, a distinction that is being constantly highlighted. The latest episode: the Republicans killed a bill that would protect our right to contraception. Are they planning something for the future?

The Senate on Wednesday afternoon voted not to advance a bill that would create a federal right to access contraception. The procedural measure, which required 60 votes, failed as all but two Republicans present voted against it.

The legislation would have prevented states from passing laws that limit access to contraception, including hormonal birth control, intrauterine devices and other methods that prevent pregnancy. Democrats introduced the bill, in part, to put Republicans on the record on reproductive rights ahead of November’s elections.

Obviously, it was set up as part of a political ploy by the Democrats…but it worked. The Republicans willingly hitched their wagon to the star of weird pronatalists and freaky tradwives and fundamentalist Catholics and evangelicals. That’s who you’re voting for when you vote for Republicans.

They’ve elected women to run their countries. This is not a guarantee of an improvement (just remember Margaret Thatcher), but it does improve the odds.

Iceland has elected Halla Tomasdottir to the presidency. She’s billed as an “entrepreneur” and “businessperson,” which are not reassuring criteria, but she did say this:

A climate and nature emergency demands urgent, inclusive action, conformity simply won’t unlock the leadership we need. It’s time to transform how we lead, and in a world of low trust we need to get better at co-creating solutions with those impacted. A livable world can best be secured if women, in solidarity with male allies, unite to redefine leadership norms; dismantle barriers; and move toward sustainable, people-first approaches. This demands courageous collaboration. The most important question we must now ask is, how will we choose to lead at a time like no other for humanity?

Promising.

Mexico has elected its first woman president, Claudia Sheinbaum. She has a Ph.D. in energy engineering, and previously served as an environmental secretary. She promoted education (Yay!) and policing (boo.) Leftist activist and climate scientist, what’s not to like?

I’m feeling even more discouraged by our choices in the US presidential election. Why can’t we have any educated, progressive women on the ballot?

This is one of those comic illustrations that are burned into the brain of every person above a certain age. “Guilty, guilty, guilty” is the phrase that immediately came to my mind yesterday.

We felt a kind of glee at this rare occasion when a rich and powerful person gets the same justice we peons routinely experience, as they should. But take a moment and exercise your empathy: how would another rich and powerful person react to the demonstration that they could be held to account for their crimes? I know, I know! Let’s ask Elon Musk!

After Trump was found guilty on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records in relation to a scheme to silence a porn star and unlawfully influence the 2016 election, Musk moaned that the history-making outcome of the trial is bad news for all Americans. “Indeed, great damage was done today to the public’s faith in the American legal system,” he wrote in a post on X.

Personally, my faith in the American legal system is far more shaken by Alito and Thomas and Roberts and the decisions of the Supreme Court that have privileged corporations, and the stock trading of our senators, and the thuggery of police officers. There have been many things in the past several decades that have eroded my confidence, and seeing a con man getting convicted in a jury trial of something he actually did isn’t one of them.

Musk’s comment came in response to another user who bemoaned that the first conviction of a former president had occurred not because of the “Iraq or Afghanistan wars, illegal CIA coups, drone striking weddings, or spying on Americans” but rather because “Trump misclassified a $130,000 payment for a porn star’s NDA.”

Musk apparently also saw Trump’s crimes as insignificant and questioned the legitimacy of the prosecution. “If a former President can be criminally convicted over such a trivial matter—motivated by politics, rather than justice—then anyone is at risk of a similar fate,” he wrote.

I agree in part that I would like to have seen more high officials convicted of their great crimes, and it’s terrible that they have such impunity. It’s pathetic that I have to accept justice for the little stuff — it’s like Al Capone getting convicted for tax evasion rather than racketeering and murder.

But wait — “little stuff”? What am I thinking? Paying $130,000 for the silence of a porn star is not a little thing to most people. That’s about two years salary, before taxes, for me! This is not a small crime to the majority of people in this country. That’s robbing your local bank money — not a gas station or 7-11 holdup, but hitting a up small business on payday. And the rich people think the sum is “trivial” or “insignificant.” Musk probably breaks into a cold sweat at the thought that he could be punished for a crime that represents the price of one cybertruck, rather than the millions and billions he has in his coffers.

My dream is to see every billionaire get their butts kick and their profits taxed heavily. A guilty verdict for Trump is just the first small step.