Perhaps this image will help fix the differences between the candidates in your minds.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line, and never try to compete with me in the crazy email category.
I may have to change my voting plans — a real wild card candidate has entered the race.
There is, of course, a poll.
These guys are going to have a lock on the cryptozoological/weird conspiracy/tinfoil hat constituency, and we all know that that is a huge fraction of the population in this country. Don’t count them out.
There may not be a god, but apparently there is a goddess, and her name is Tina Fey.
It’s a stunning about-face. Not only does she admit that evolution is valid, but she confesses that she herself is an example of a transitional form.
“I am gutted that I have let the American Right down like this,” she said at a tearful press conference this morning, surrounded by her collection of stuffed polar bears in the den of her Anchorage home.
“Our primary argument for Creation and against the communist satanic onslaught of evolution has always been: ‘Well I’ve never seen a chimp turn into a man’ or ‘Show me a gorilla giving birth to a human baby and I’ll believe in evolution’.
“It has been an argument as sophisticated as our Grand Old Party, and I am devastated that I have undermined it, firstly by transforming from a pitbull to a woman, and now into an elderly male slave-owner.”
It remains to be seen how the American electorate will deal with this revelation, since while she is now an admitted evilutionist, she is also still a peppy, chipper, attractive former beauty queen, and it remains to be seen whether any statement of substance can distract them from superficialities.
Donald Wildmon, crusading anti-gay bigot, is asking pastors to take a pledge to turn out the vote. He’s getting a good response, and you might want to encourage your ecclesiastical friends to participate.
I’m particularly impressed with the Alaskan contingent so far.
Think of me as bringing back the simple joys of yesteryear.
You can learn to love creationism! It’s just like green eggs and ham, except for the brain rot!
Greg Laden is trying to start a PZ Myers vs. Chuck Norris joke meme, and I’m sorry, all the entries so far are feeble and pathetic. I think this is a case where the black-and-white simplifications of a creationist mind do a far better job of generating catch-phrases than we etiolated intellectual elitists can. I’m just not cartoony enough yet.
