1. Jparenti says

    I want to print this like a Chick tract and leave it on the counter at work.
    “You could make your house a school/Have your kid grow up a fool!” I love it.

  2. Jessica says

    Funny except for the totally unnecessary jabs at homeschooling. Many creationist and ID fools homeschool. Many free thinking atheists with a passion for a decent education for their kids do, too.

  3. says

    #6: That’s what I was thinking, too. In fact, we’re considering homeschooling because there’s been a bit too much talk about religion at my daughter’s PUBLIC school for my taste.

    I think Dr. Seuss would have a laugh – except for the ending.

  4. says

    Theodore Geisel was a vigorous anti-totalitarian who was always willing to do battle against thought control. While he might have appreciated the wry humor and downbeat ending of the Sal-I-Am parody, I’m sure he’d be even happier if recognized his early opposition to fascism, as amply documented in Dr. Seuss Goes to War.

  5. electricbarbarella says

    I’ll just second Jessica and spyderkl. Totally unnecessary jabs at homeschooling. Yes, many nutjobs homeschools, but not all homeschoolers are nutjobs.


  6. says

    That ending would be more exciting
    If God gave Sal a well-earned SMITING
    With plagues of frogs or boils or lice –
    Or burning hailstones would be nice –
    And thunder’d from His heavn’ly throne,
    “Piss off and leave us all alone!”

  7. MH says

    I LOLed. XD

    Yes, many nutjobs homeschool, but not all homeschoolers are nutjobs.

    I agree. Painting all homeschoolers as dumb is both wrong and unfair. There are many good reasons why one would choose to homeschool their children, and it doesn’t automatically mean that they will receive a poor education.

  8. OctoberMermaid says

    Ah, I’d completely forgotten Sal existed. Now my stomach hurts.

    Luckily, some random person on youtube wants me to add them as my friend! I took a look at their videos and.. uh oh!

    No, I don’t want to be your friend. I hope he’s a poe, though.

  9. says

    Aw, people, chill out about the homeschooling. As a person who got some pretty bad (and pretty good) public education, I can see a reason why you’d want to homeschool. But this is just a silly parody and it’s pretty obvious they’re not making fun of all the homeschoolers out there.
    And even if they were, so what? This crowd lumps all christians into the dumbass category every day. How do you think that makes the reasonable ones feel?

  10. electricbarbarella says


    There are “reasonable” Christians? I think even PZ would argue that.

    But, in all honesty, I’m not getting my horns sharpened over this, however it does get my goat because Dr. Seuss has been used by the religious right before and then this person goes and lumps homeschoolers in with this religious right and then the parody no longer remains a parody.

    (Audrey Geisel has a lawsuit against a pro-life movement group for using Horton Hears a Who on their pro-life posters, –the big poster has aborted fetus’ on it, then an image of Horton and the “a person is a person no matter how small” quote on it)…

    Basically, I’m not upset that they used homeschooling in this, I **CAN** take the joke. But I am upset that they are lumping all homeschoolers in with the idiots they are trying to mock–hence my comment.


  11. cactusren says

    Toni–I don’t think this parody meant to lump all homeschoolers together. The implication is that those who homeschool their children in order to teach them creationism are fools, and will raise fools. It is not appear to be commenting on all homeschooling.

  12. says

    #6: That’s what I was thinking, too. In fact, we’re considering homeschooling because there’s been a bit too much talk about religion at my daughter’s PUBLIC school for my taste.

    We left for many reasons, but that was one of the top three.

  13. says

    Well, since all Christians believe in total nonsense for no good reason, and such nonsense does absolutely no good in society, they are all unreasonable.
    By the same token, since all home schoolers deprive their children of normal social interactions with other children and the opportunity to interact on a regular basis with adults other than their parents, and because there are some subjects that parents probably cannot cover as well as a good teacher with years of experience…
    …you know where I’m going with this.
    The point is, generalizations paint the world in black and white and do no one any good. However, in this case, there is a very defined line between “insulting generalization” and “joke.”

  14. electricbarbarella says

    Actually, scrabcake, your point is moot since nearly all homeschoolers DO follow some type of socialization–with ALL ages. :) There is zero depravity of normal social interactions because by virtue of what we do and how we do it, we are constantly interacting with nearly everyone of all ages, in our community.

    Some of us even run programs that cause these interactions to happen on a frequent basis. :)

    And I do get that they are saying those that teach their kids creation based science are the ones who are foolish, but the one statistic I cannot argue with(that the majority of homeschoolers do so for religious reasons), would be the reason why I would challenge the lumping together. Like you said, Scrabcake, that fine line between “insulting generalization” and “joke” is almost invisible with this one.


  15. says

    Toni, that’s exactly it. The vast majority of homeschoolers are Christians doing it for very Christian kinds of reasons. I hate being lumped in with that crowd. I hate the assumption that because my kid isn’t in public school, I must be a gay hating right wing fundie with no education and no intention of educating my kid with anything but the Christian bible.

    Since the assumption is so ubiquitous, I feel the need to counteract it when I see it. Someday when homeschooling is more diverse and less fringe-y, those jokes will be funny and not feel so pointed at me. :)

  16. says

    Whew! Let’s not get carried away here!)

    Re-Hashed Ken Ham is a simple bit of fundie-baiting that I produced in a couple of hours as a typical AtBC response to another Kultur War salvo from Bill Dembski. In other offerings I have drawn on Harry Potter for the same purpose. I have as yet received no outraged snorts from boarding school alumni or members of the wizarding community.

    Anyone who takes the view that Re-Hashed Ken Ham is derogatory of any home-schooling needs a new contextometer.

    Or a sense of humour.

    Probably both.

  17. electricbarbarella says

    I can assure you I have both a sense of humor AND an excellent contextOmeter.

    I can also assure you that it’s that kind of “fundie-baiting” that cause stereotypes amongst any group, to occur. And, I can also assure you that since neither of my “meters” are broken, given that I am a full-on Atheist, and that I was once a fundie and still am around homeschoolers that are fundies, I get very, very, nay–extremely tired of being lumped in with them, all for the sake of “humor”.

    A much better way to have bashed Ken Ham could have been done by leaving out the homeschool bit, as he provides much better material for mocking than that (the museum?). And, considering your Harry Potter was a mock of the Harry Potter world, which is fiction, and not a mock on something that actually exists–comparing your mocking of homeschoolers to religious zealots who believe in a sky fairy, is comparing apples to oranges.

    Dislike or disapprove of homeschooling for real reasons, I’ve no problem with that. Disapproving of religious zealots because of their fictional sky fairy, no problem there either. Comparing their sky fairy to the wizarding world of Harry Potter would be more accurate than to lay claim to their sky fairy beliefs and homeschoolers across the world being equal or one in the same.


  18. says

    I think you’re missing my point.

    In its not terribly clever way, Ken Ham points a finger of derision at the sort of dingbat who is proud of their ignorance to the extent that they want to keep their kids insulated from the reality-based universe so they can grow up just like Maw & Paw.

    People who decide to educate their kids at home are (and have at all relevant times been) exempted from the aforesaid finger and may continue without fear of being targeted by slideshows of dubious satirical value.

  19. says

    Grickle grass, ham, thumbs and blue fish
    I’ve read more rhymes than anyone might wish.
    But i gotta say I have no use
    for anyone who buggers Suess
    To bugger Suess is a mortal sin
    even on the world we atheists is in.
    No mortal sin! impossible says yous?
    Just let me catch you buggerin’ Suess!

  20. says


    BUT . . .

    When fundie-parents want to raise a fundie-ignoramus
    They take of learning that is nothing short of shameless.
    Would Dr Seuss just shrug and say “Oh well, it doesn’t matter”?
    The Hell he would! You know he’d soon get madder than a hatter!
    I hope – like most – Ted Geisel’s ghost now frolicks in Elysium.
    And if we use his style for good, I’m sure it won’t displysium.

  21. says

    “I’m sure it won’t displysium.”
    now THAT’S truly Suessian reasonin’
    I admit it provoked my giggletude
    but still insist that buggerin’s rude
    Theo put some effort, some work
    he wasn’t sittin’ home just havin’ a jerk
    over convoluted adjectival forms
    he really did surpass all norms
    not just in rhyming but also plot
    a moral wasn’t all he sought
    he moral’d with great style and flair
    and buggerin’…well, let’s not go there.

  22. says

    I gotta add I’m a little shocked
    I would’ve thought Pharyngulians rocked
    at inventing posts ala rhyming Suess
    I would’ve bet heavy on more PZ juice
    I keep refreshing eagerly
    goddamn it, all that springs is “Beagle Tree”
    Suess would never have fallen for that
    Fuck you, stupid Cat in the Hat.

  23. electricbarbarella says

    Sorry Cousinavi.. rhyming just is not my thing. I mean I can…but umm, that’s best left up to those that actually make sense doing it. :)


  24. says

    Rhyming, really not your thing?
    You say you could, then fail to bring
    an attempt, a try, you might take a swing
    young birds don’t fly, but they’ll flap a wing
    Ah, to hell with it – they’ve buggered Suess
    I can’t complain…what’s the use?
    I now retreat to my tiny wism
    where i nurse my vicious cynicism.

  25. electricbarbarella says

    Ahh, my cousinavi, don’t fret;
    I haven’t attempted the best one yet
    You see when I try to rhyme,
    All that comes out is “blah blah, not yet, oh hell, try one more time”
    In the end, my rhymes really do suck
    Although I can rhyme the end of that with truck
    And buck, and cluck, and puck, and Oh Fuck..
    What is she doing, you ask?
    She warned you previously..
    Her rhymes really do suck ass…



  26. says

    I’ve gone too far. I feel obtuse.
    All this rhyming ripping the good Dr. Suess.
    It’s too much…it’s really too far
    I’ve played this hole six over par.
    It’s time to slink – I should have slunk
    back to sleep in my cynical bunk.
    I apologize to all of you posters
    …something about drinks, wooden tables and coasters…
    I’m calling it now, should have called it sooner
    G’head…do your best…gimme a rhyme for sooner.

  27. says

    I’ve gone too far. I feel obtuse.
    All this rhyming ripping the good Dr. Suess.
    It’s too much…it’s really too far
    I’ve played this hole six over par.
    It’s time to slink – I should have slunk
    back to sleep in my cynical bunk.
    I apologize to all of you posters
    …something about drinks, wooden tables and coasters…
    I’m calling it now, should have called it sooner
    G’head…do your best…gimme a rhyme for sooner…
    And no fucking cheating…you can’t use tuner…
    Tuner’s a fish. Not dolphin friendly.
    Charlie was one, now this rhyme is endly.

  28. says

    Double posts suck
    even updated.
    My work here tonight
    goddamn overrated.

    Cheers, folks…and thanks for the giggles.
    Hope someone enjoyed it half as much as I did.
    For a brief moment, I was 12 again. In other words, it was entirely worthwhile.