Donald Wildmon, crusading anti-gay bigot, is asking pastors to take a pledge to turn out the vote. He’s getting a good response, and you might want to encourage your ecclesiastical friends to participate.
I’m particularly impressed with the Alaskan contingent so far.
Have you ever noticed that any time the RRR feels threatened, it suddenly becomes “The very future of our nation’s foundation is at stake”, and the “Most critical *whatever* in history”?
From what I’ve seen, the only things that are at stake are the collection plates, and the free rides that the clergy enjoy in our society.
IANAL, but isn’t this type of thing expressly illegal for churches and other tax exempt entities? Perhaps the loophole is that the petition is only asking for the church leaders to encourage them to vote, not explicitly to vote in one direction or the other? The letter clearly states how you should have your congregation vote. Perchance we could find a way to forward this entire list to a very entrepreneurial lawyer at the many organizations that support the separation of church and state?
Can someone point out the fault in my logic here? Surely even for the idiots they are, they wouldn’t make such a classic blunder as to put the name of their church on a list that says they are going to directly influence their members to vote in a certain way, thereby breaking the law and jeopardizing their tax exempt status?
“From what I’ve seen, the only things that are at stake are the collection plates, and the free rides that the clergy enjoy in our society.”
Ditto. Who knows how much money’s been funneled into these liars that could have actually been put to some kind of use?
#2,
What the pastor said is true. She turned me into a newt.
Yasbek,
Yet the text in the message shows a clear partisan view. I don’t see how anyone could make the claim that Wildmon intends for pastors to encourage their flock to vote for a liberal or even entertain that it is a good possibility.
“if the liberals win you will lose some of your religious freedom and free speech rights.”
WTF? If the “Liberals” win everyone will have all the rights they want in spades. Else, we lose our right to freedom from religion (… education, science, health….).
Isn’t AK the code for Alaska, and AL for Alabama? There’s only three signatories from Alaska, but the Alabamans go on and on and on and on . . .
Maybe a bunch of people should pretend to be from Alaska, and sign up a bunch of, say, Pastafarian churches. Or the First Church of Satan, that would be good, too. Or maybe the “Religion-Blinded Sheep of Fairbanks”. If this thing is automated, they could take over the entire first and second pages pretty quickly.
Shouldn’t we all claim to be pastors of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
I’ll start the ball rolling.
Agreed Cafeeine, I just wonder if that will be enough when the defense attorney says “but they never called for them to vote THAT way, just to vote.” not by common sense of course, but by the letter of the law; it will not jeopardize their tax exempt status to encourage voting, just to encourage it in a certain way.
I hope you are right, that the entire letter would make it clear what the intent was, for even a court to have to incorporate the tone and intent of it all when deciding whether to hear the case and also when deciding the outcome. As I recall, the IRS recently showed some willingness to go after churches that should be paying taxes; perhaps we could alert them to this little petition? There’s money in it for them!
I hope the IRS takes a really good look at all those churches that are listed there.
@ Rob (#5)
I got better….
Here’s an idea: financial crisis in the US? Collect taxes from churches. Problem solved in so many ways.
They’re supporting the people who are in charge of the investigation.
you might want to encourage your ecclesiastical friends to participate
Oh, they need no encouragement from me. Why, Rev’d Wildmon’s message is so important that Rev’d Gary Aldridge himself had to come back from the dead just now, peel off his two wetsuits and pull the dildo out of his arse to sign on.
For any of you contemplating paying Rev’d Wildmon’s site a visit to “spoof” it (as I believe the young people say), I can only stress that this would be very bad indeed, almost as bad as spoofing Conservapædia.
Next Sunday is D-Day for The Pulpit Initiative, in which various right-wing pastors have pledged to endorse specific candidates and initiative campaigns during church services. (This is just a guess, but I think most of them will be pushing McCain/Palin and bans on same-sex marriage.)
Hmm. I’m an ordained minister myself, and I’m pretty sure I can dig up my Web-based ordination papers. Maybe I should take the pledge and go find a flock to preach to. Obama/Biden ’08! No on (California) Proposition 8! No on (Colorado) Amendment 48!
Amen.
I signed up as ‘Mark Fiend’ from the First Church of Satan, Juneau.
Funny.
I finally get to use my “credentials of ministry” for something useful. I paid 12 bucks for that certificate and I want my moneys worth.
While IANAL, from my reading of the various IRS guidelines there doesn’t appear to be anything in the letter endorsing a specific candidate or party and so it would probably pass an IRS review.
However…
It is very nice that they included a list of churches which signed up. If people attended the churches in question and made recordings of sermons, there may be grounds for complaints to the IRS. Without a recording it would be hard to prove anything which violates the tax-exempt status occured. A bald denial from the church would satisfy the IRS simply because they don’t have the manpower to monitor every potential abuse of the 501(3)(c) requirements.
Mind you, even with a recording of blatent political activism it’s unlikely that anything more than a reminder of the law would occur for a first offence. And keep in mind that most churches are aware of the 501(3)(c) requirements and abide by them, so there is little chance that random church attendance would catch abuse.
Yet, if it was possible to find a church which did violate the 501(3)(c) requirements, extensively document the abuse over a period of months or years, and then generate a high-profile media campaign in conjunction with an IRS complaint, the publicity alone would likely moderate some of the more blatent abuse.
As well as possibly causing even more paranoia and claims of persecution by pointing out that atheists may be monitoring their sermons.
Needs more Catholics. Anyone from “Our Lady Of The Pristine Hymen”?
In Cleveland, MS, I have registered my “Church of Doctor Who”. :)
I put in a title that I think the Christians might miss, but the people on this blog won’t. Does anybody think that the Christians will be able to detect the satire in the “United church of Saint Pharyngula”?
Not to be the eternal cynic, but I don’t think this would generate any media interest except from those who think it should be allowed. “Church violated tax exempt status” isn’t exactly a riveting headline.
Justin Abit here, representing the Church of the godless hethens from hell, from Hell, Michigan.
:)
I was just ordained online,
Should I sign up my “Church of Secular Humanism”?
Kirk Hayden with the First Church of the Incompetent Bigot In The Sky in Anchorage, AK reporting for duty!
Wow, browsing around that site: what a good list of reasons to vote for Obama!
http://www.afa.net/08VG/index.html
They seem to have got wise to us. All ‘our’ entries seem to have disappeared.
The organization itself (AFA) violates 501c3 status here: http://www.afa.net/08VG/index.html
It gives a highly skewed and politically charged perspective on the candidates with its wording. This may not be “overt political endorsement” but it is pretty damn close… It omits most other issues in the campaign and only puts forth the ones people that are highly religious would agree with McCain on.
Of course, now we have to find the most egregious non-church name that gets past them. Let the games begin!
I noticed that Obed Marsh of the EOD in Innsmouth, MA, signed in. Gotta keep heterosexual marriage going to make more deep ones.
Hey!
I just registered my “Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” in Key West Florida.
http://www.afa.net/pastorspledge/default.aspx
Look me up!
Register your church too!
Since Alaska entries are first for those who don’t want to be bothered going past the first page, I suggest signing up with your church as, say, Atheist Alliance from Anchorage, and use an anchorage zipcode. Look at the first page and you will see me there (Psst, I’m really from Maryland).
The name of chirch column isn’t very wide. If you came up with the right name you could spell out a rude word with the first letter of each word.
e.g.
Baptist
Unification
Ministry
LOL. I went back and read the Alaska antries more carefully. Now we need a contingent from ALabama.
Even much of the GOP is abandoning McCain. About all McCain has left is the Death Cultists. He isn’t really one of them and they know it, more interested in women, money, and power. It is Palin they want, crazy mom cultist with a brain the size of a walnut and hate modules the size of Alaska.
McCain is the most likely candidate to have a fatal “accident” shortly after election. There would be cultists lined up to push him down a stairway for jesus.
old post. The tide might be going out on the christofascists.
The Voters are also blaming the Death Cult fundies for destroying the USA and its economy.
Looks like there is a backlash against the Death Cults. These are nihilists who have only brought death and destruction during their time in power. Their latest victim is the US economy, the largest in the world at one time. Palin is one, a hardcore religious kook.
It is no secret that she believes the earth is 6,000 years old and that god will show up any day, destroy the earth and kill 6.7 billion people. And that this is a good thing. She sacrificed her own daughter on the altar of her extremist views.
McCain made a mistake with that choice. While christofascists will vote for her, many in the rest of the USA have had enough of these nutters and are appalled that what is basically a crazy mom is one old man away from the potential presidency.
So…
We have the worst financial crisis in the post WWII era.
We are grinding our army to bits in an unnecessary war.
Our schools are in lousy shape.
Our economy is still dependent on foreign oil.
We have millions of people without health care.
But…
GOTTA MAKE SURE VOTE AGAINST THE GUY WHO MAY ALLOW GAYS TO MARRY!
Wildmon is a fool.
I took the pledge as the “pastor” of the Atheists of Northeast Arkansas (AoNEA). And I’m encouraging all seven of our members to register and vote!
And include back taxes plus penalties for tax fraud.
The US economy would bounce back with a vengeance!
And the priest and other religious parasites would have to work to earn a living. Definitely a win-win situation for the economy and for common decency.
Rev Waldo McFroog from “Captain Satan’s World of Gayness and Laughter (and Baby Eating)” reporting for duty, Sah!
It looks like they caught on, all of the funny AK entries are gone.
You’ll be pleased to know that Dan DeLeon of the South Homer Institute of Tithing is represented.
1. Pass law taxing churches.
2. Make it retroactive to 1776.
3. Audit Pope.
You know what, they may be disappearing, but it’s causing some arsehole agravation, so it’s still worthwhile.
I think you might be putting too much stock in the conservatives (claimed) desire to keep religion out of politics affecting who they will vote for.
Our Lady of Dismemberment added by Pastor Elizabeth Borden
I’m Pastor Henrietta Darwin of the Church of True Knowledge in Darwin, Iowa. My e-mail is hmsbeagle1831@yahoo.com. Think they’ll notice?
Mahatma Kane Jeeves of Our Lady of Renewable Virginity in Akiachak, AK has joined the crusade!
Damn… looks like a lot of our entries have been deleted again. We must be giving someone one hell of a headache. For some reason I don’t feel bad about that.
And, with any luck, they will delete some real entries as well.
Don’t do what I stupidly tried and use a made-up email address, because it comes back and says to expect a confirmation email. Poor tjones”at”yahoo.com will be receiving a rather peculiar message asking if he is indeed Fr. Ben Dover of St. Gullible Catholic Church in Bethel AK.
Dang! They started deleting them. Here is a hoot that slipped through their fingers: Image Link
My copy b4 deletion.
My entry for Kurt Vonnegut and Bokonon apperently never made the list
Clinton Huxley You are a bunch of disgusting bigots Trinity AK
Edward Teach The Chruch of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Gnome AK
Mark Fiend First Church of Satan Juneau AK
Bob Vogel Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Anchorage AK
James Bremner Church of the really nice guy who believes in evolution and loves doing embryonic stem cell research and who likes gay people and everything! Anchorage AK
Eusthenopteron McCracken First Church of Satan the Eternally Triumphant Anchorage AK
Leroy Jones First Church of What’s Happening Now Ketchikan AK
The Right Reverend Jeffro Bodean First Atheist Liberal Church Bumfuq AK
Fearuff Diff’rance You are the ones restricting freedoms and rights Anchorage AK
Brian Coughlan Partially Reformed Church of the Apostolic Succession for wayward boys (Orthodox) Anchorage AK
Lou Seefer 3 1/2th Church of God the Totally Incompetent Pandemonium AK
Don’t click the link up top in case their keying in on the referrer tag. Copy/paste it in a new window.
It is illegal for churches to involve themselves in partisan politics by endorsing parties or candidates. They can’t do it and keep their tax exemption as charitable organizations. IRS rules.
In practice they just ignore the laws. The IRS rarely prosecutes.
They also mostly ignore the bible and their religion. The cultists are all about being cultists and not much about religion. They really want money and power. The jesus schtick is just a means to an end.
I laughed at “team JESUS motorsports” on page 4 but it turns out that’s actually real.
I don’t understand their rationale for deleting some things while allowing others. New Jersey’s page had a “U.R. Ridiculous” so I felt comfortable enough signing up “Chicken Little” at “Our Lady of Bigotry” but unfortunately, that was just a little too implausible to them. However, U.R. Ridiculous is apparently a prized member of their Christian Nation. Damn.
Well, I had “Buck Futter” making an appearance, but somehow that didn’t make it through.
I was laughing about Team Jesus Motorsports too. I see someone’s invoking Poe’s law on it. I’m not surprised.
Someone seems to be cleaning up the list. 2nd Darwinian Church, Liberal, AK showed up on the front page when I first looked. It’s gone now.
Hmmm…I went back to the site and I can’t see a link to post/submit anymore. Have they stopped the sign up?
A couple of my faves, before they get deleted:
http://img248.imageshack.us/my.php?image=drlarrylafferjp7.jpg
http://img91.imageshack.us/my.php?image=redneckjusticezi7.jpg
I just registered as “First Unified Church of Kansas”
In Topeka (where else). Even better the zip code is 66604.
Now here’s a growing church-
Johnny Appleseed Holy Mackeral Church New York NY
But there is something fishy about it…
Why are there never any “Second Church of X”s?
I used me regular email address. I hope I don’t get a flood of angry Christian BS! My submission:
Name: Ben Dover
Church of: God stole my lube to use on Jesus
City: Mianus, Connecticut
Maybe it will turn into a mega church soon, with the hidden purpose of luring homophobic pastors and church members in the middle of the pews and surrounding them by sadomasochists dressed in all leather and whips! I would pay to see that!
I have a dollar for anyone who can get L. Ron Hoover from the “First Church of Appliantology” through.
And, not to be Captain Obvious or anything, but it could be they are deleting anything that shows up here.
Pastor Malaclypse the Younger from the church of POEE in Basra AK reporting for duty.
Liberal Atheist Smart People’s church just went up in the number 1 spot (anchorage, ak). Lets see how long it stays. You’re welcome.
Have you ever noticed that any time the RRR feels threatened, it suddenly becomes “The very future of our nation’s foundation is at stake”, and the “Most critical *whatever* in history”?
This is something of a standard practice of demagogues. If you want people to do stupid things not particularly in their interest, anxiety and panic can be very useful, as can be, therefore, immininent danger. See also: ‘the terrorists are a-comin”, ‘oh noes, WMDS!’ and ‘the Great Depression is a-comin’ agin”
The list has gone.
I was EXPELLED from the list!!!
Regards,
of Shit, Hateful Piece
Assembly of Gay Haters
Anchorage, AK
P.S. The email confirmation works by going to this link (so you can just make up an address):
http://www.afa.net/pastorspledge/Confirm.aspx?email=your.fake.email@address.goes.here
Is there any way to see the list without registering a church?
Yeah probably. The old line conservatives wish they had more than a confused old man and an ignorant religious kook as candidates. They will probably still vote for them.
Some of the undecideds, independents, and nonfundie xian vote probably won’t. I’m sure Palin cost them some and gained them little. It wasn’t like the Death Cultists were going to vote for Obama.
You have to remember that Xians have been fighting sectarian wars for 2,000 years among themselves. They are very good at hating and they all hate each other. The fundies call the catholic church, the church of satan and the catholics call the protestants fake churches.
Me was bein’ stoopid, you just have to select a state with the drop down on the right.
This reminds me of trying to crash the America Family something or other when they boycotted McDonald’s for donating one tenth of one percent of their quarterly earning to Gay and Lesbian Alliance. The funny thing was the emails that were sent in…I am 99% sure those people were being honest and it was sad. People going to McDonald 5-6 times a week, bringing their 6-11 kids, spending $200+ every week. If nothing else, their boycott (does anyone know if it still is in effect?) has probably added 10 years to their lives.
Runny Camenbert from Needham is in there, but I’m a little suspicious of that one. Be careful out there, people.
But they might have stayed home, or not put in motion the giant political machine that was created during the Reagan years. Palin was a hugely cynical choice, but I’m not sure that choice was all that bad in purely political terms. It remains to be seen whether she turns into a liability among the reality-based voters.
They are no longer listing “pledged Churches”
ROFLMAO
They seem to have removed our offerings from reading. Such a shame.
Deleted my cookies and voila , back in business. Our Lady of Repression–Catholics seemed underrepresented.
(.)(.)
All you blasphemers for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, have you no dignity, infidels? The one TRUE Lord is the Invisible Pink Unicorn! Damn you all to eternal pleasure!
Take a peek under “District of Columbia”
tsg @84, was this what you were talking about?
“Leon Petty IRS 501(c)3 Infractions Investigations Washington DC”
http://img516.imageshack.us/my.php?image=pledgetk3.jpg
Church of Infinite Stupidity is open for business.
If you guys wanted to peg them for supporting specific partisan candidates, couldn’t you just send them an email asking innocently, as an undecided pastor, which non-liberal candidates you should be asking your flock to vote for?
If he emails back anything other than “a conservative”, he should be pegged, right?
That would be it, yes.
A little more subtle, but topical: Clay Aiken has now signed the list from 90210 zip code and “The Hills Church”. You know they’ll purge all the obvious jokes, but they might miss this for a while.
I feel so mature now. ;)
It would be bloody obvious and he’d have to be an idiot to answer anything other than “As a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, we are prohibited from endorsing any particular candidate.”
We need better representation of the Invisible Pink Unicorn
I didn’t know HalfLife had spawned a church… I did use to play that game religiously, I guess :)
Think they’ll notice Rev. Gaye Pride?
tsg: It would be bloody obvious and he’d have to be an idiot to answer anything other than
Do you doubt his idiocy?
How DARE you doubt his idiocy?
Lamont Queen
First Church of Butfuh King
YAY!
The polls show her favorability is eroding rapidly. Palin has several characteristics that turn people off.
1. She is a religous nutcase. Oddly enough the witch hunting, rapture monkey stuff didn’t seem to bother that many people.
2. She also appears to be not very bright and completely ignorant of much of anything outside of Alaska. She doesn’t know much about the basics like geography, economics, world politics, and so on. That is why the handlers have been keeping her away from the press.
3. She also seems to have a vindictive, mean, petty personality, superficial charm that leaves close associates with knives in their backs.
You have to remember Alaska’s economy is based on pumping oil, mining minerals, gathering federal funds, cutting down trees, shooting moose, and killing fish. You don’t have to be too smart to figure out how those work.
Check out there AFA.net site. They have a poll under there issues section asking if a marriage amendment will help there candidates. Amazing that they can argue for freedom of speech and religion, but turn around and say it only applies to christians.
I realize this was largely tongue-in-cheek, but they are devious, dishonest, misguided, hateful, and wrong, but they aren’t stupid. Underestimating them will surely lead to failure.
Rev. Phil McCraken of the Church of the Weeping Clam has pledged his support.
Here’s the poll and question:
Does it help candidates to voice strong support for constitutional amendments that define marriage as between one man and one woman?
Yes
No
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Poll.aspx?ekfrm=264580
Current stats are 87% yes and 13% no; 23 responses
Freemason
Unification
Church
– Killington
I might have to check this place out.
Pastor Oliver Closehoff (couldn’t resist!) of the Church of the First Natural Selection in Urbana, Illinois is ready to take up the cause!
Here’s one for anyone who wants it:
South
Carolina
United
Methodists
Bible
Assembly of
God
I’m out of e-mail addresses… here’s a good fake name for someone to use, just make sure you match it with a good church name that might fly under the radar:
“Mensby Hinds”
In addition to Rev’d Aldridge, I submitted Father Seamus O’Reely of St Tibulus RC Church, but then noticed that one needs to reply to a confirmation email. Since I’d made up the email addresses, my entries didn’t get through. I see that I shall have to create some new addresses on my server tonight…
Also, if you click the column header, you can reorganize the table. No need to start with AK.
See #72 for info on spoofing the confirmation.
Just to add: if you can remember the email addresses you used, you can validate them without having to re-enter them.
Clear your cookies and vote often.
I skipped ahead so someone may have suggested this already, but I believe if we spread them out over a couple of days and made up more plausible names we might have better luck.
Poll 2 as of now:
Yes – 73.88%
No – 26.12%
134 responses
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Poll.aspx?ekfrm=264580
“I noticed that Obed Marsh of the EOD in Innsmouth, MA, signed in. Gotta keep heterosexual marriage going to make more deep ones.”
I for one think “the Innsmouth look” is hawt.
First Name: Homo
Last Name: Phobic
Church Name: Church of the Gay-Haters
ihategays@backwardsalabama.com
Huntsville
Alabama
35801
They’ve not removed all of our spoof entries. Mine is still there, from hours ago!
Richard Harris Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Fairfax VA
But I preferred:
Dr Richard Dawkins Church of Infinite Stupidity Aaron River AL
HAHA:
Elvis Nixon
First Gaylord Texan Church of Man On Man Love
Flower Mound
TX
Wow, good thing the Liberal party is staying up here in Canada! the Democrats are still pretty conservative by our standards
Why don’t all just go pray rather than go vote? If their god is all powerful, couldn’t God just multiply the number of Republican ballots or turn the hearts of liberals as they stand at the voting booth?
There’s a bug in the webform. If you block cookies from onenewsnow.com, you can hammer the vote button and it looks like it counts a lot of them.
Yes – 27.40%
No – 72.60%
562 responses
[quote]Yes – 27.40%
No – 72.60%
562 responses
[/quote]
Too f’ing funny!
Yes – 23.65%
No – 76.35%
668 responses
I think I just voted about 200 times in two minutes.
Ahh, the exploitation of poor website design…
Why don’t all just go pray rather than go vote? If their god is all powerful, couldn’t God just multiply the number of Republican ballots or turn the hearts of liberals as they stand at the voting booth?
i’m pretty sure the republicans have been doping that for the last 8 years without god’s help
Yes – 19.48%
No – 80.52%
929 responses
Huxley Church of Support, Colorado
Yay!
Hey PZ, love your blog. Just wanted to turn your attention to this if you haven’t seen it yet:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yacomink/sharks-with-legs-v
So the next time someone says “well, you don’t see an eagle’s head on a fishes body” or other such nonsense, just show them this picture ;)
Yes – 18.62%
No – 81.38%
1042 responses
I have to stop, my finger is getting tired.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=iceweasel-a&rls=org.debian%3Aen-US%3Aunofficial&q=“extremely+significant”+schlafly+lenski&btnG=Search
Aw… my previous post here contained absolute junk (wrong link). Sorry about that. Here’s what it should have contained.
Is this newish?
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/index.php?title=Fun:Schlafly_Quote_Generator_2.0&action=purge
Ia! Cthulhu f’taghn! We have pledged!
I think my brothers and sisters in the Esoteric Order of Dagon have also pledged to support The Goat With a Thousand Young (Sarah Palin) come election day.
Mailinator.com is a good way to sign up for things without the risk of spam. And I’m sure Rev. Phil McCrack of the First Church of the Sainted Aunt doesn’t want any spam.
Look, these guys always come out and vote.
We just need to make sure that the sane, pro-freedom contingent goes out and votes too.
Yes – 17.20%
No – 82.80%
2023 responses
It looks like someone’s trying to crash it the other way, now.
LA Times vote
“Should pastors be allowed to deliver political sermons and endorse presidential candidates?”
Currently 85% NO
Thank you, Richard @#114. That ‘s one of mine.
@126 Those are not feet, they are claspers which are slightly deformed. anatomically as different from legs and feet as insect wings and bird wings…
Way off topic, so I apologize…
Bailout Agreement Reached.
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/25/132239/174/61/610157
As Kos points out, looks like McCain can attend the debate after all. Whew. Un-suspend the campaign. Happy days are here again.
(Don’t forget your Depends, Oh Ancient One!)
Jim @ 134: the guy said.
“There is nobody who will ever tell me what I can and cannot say from behind my pulpit,” Booth said, “except the spirit of God or the word of God.”
Obviously he’s never met an IRS agent…
Sister Sarah of St. Mattress of the Springs from Tick Bite NC has signed on. She is preparing to open missions in as many states as possible, along with Wench Clara Cappelini of the Church of the FSM!
North Dakota seems to have a high incidence of alter egos.
Rev Benny the Rat
of
the Church of Active Gay Demons
thanks Michael @72 for helping him work the Intarwebs and join this just Crusade.
Brian Cohen from theMessiah Nailed to Boards for You Redeemer Church has signed in.
(Sing along…) Always look on the bright side of life… (whistle……)
(Just don’t say Jehovah.) Ouch! Stop throwing ro-aaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!
Brian Cohen from the Messiah Nailed to Boards for You Redeemer Church, has signed in.
(Sing along…) Always look on the bright side of life… (whistle……)
(Just don’t say Jehovah.) Ouch! Stop throwing ro-aaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!
I’m guessing it’s a joke, but check under Kansas:
Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church, Topeka, KS
#53
Eusthenopteron McCracken
Brilliant.
Sorry! I got a busy message and didn’t see the first one went through.
Jengu Banshee of Holy Sky Faerie of the Super-Hidden Magical Kingdom, Juneau Alaska.
Flying Spaghetti Monster represented from upstate South Carolina.
Well, he’s right. He can say whatever he likes behind his pulpit. He just doesn’t get to stay tax exempt if he violates the 501(c)(3) rules.
That’s the lie. They are trying to say this is a free speech issue. It isn’t. It’s a tax exemption issue. The Federal Government agreed not to charge them taxes. In return, the church agreed, among other things, not to endorse a particular political candidate, just like every other tax exempt organiztion. Now they don’t want to play by those rules. Fine. Pay taxes just like every other corporation. To do otherwise is asking for special treatment for being a church.
Yes, they are removing names, but new ones seem to be appearing just as fast. Especially in Alaska. My newest one is in Latin.
Are all of you ordained by the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic yet? Fill out the web form and wait for your pdf.
I doubt that. I bet hundreds of Pharyngulites are simply voting at the same time as you. It often happens that I click a “vote” button twice and the vote total increases by 2 to 5 or so…
Wow. If this isn’t photoshopped, it’s of major interest for evo-devo.
Those who cannot spell “Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!” shall be eaten next to last.
ROTFL!
Oh no. The pectoral and pelvic fins, respectively, are homologous to fore- and hindlimbs. It’s more like bird wings and bat wings.
Brian Cohen from theMessiah Nailed to Boards for You Redeemer Church has signed in.
Weleath Bwian!!
Dang! I signed in as Rev. Adolph Hitler from the God Is With Us Holy Church in New Berlin Wisconsin, but got a message saying sorry Rev. Hitler, you’re already registered.
Nice work friends!
The Rev. Coccinella Punctata of the Church of Our Lady of All Bugs in Bugtussle, KY has duly joined the cause. After all, the Great Arthropod doesn’t want any confusion between ladybugs and gentlemanbugs.
I thought of that, but it seems to increase a lot quicker when I’m doing it than when I’m not.
Hey PZ, love your blog. Just wanted to turn your attention to this if you haven’t seen it yet:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yacomink/sharks-with-legs-v
So the next time someone says “well, you don’t see an eagle’s head on a fishes body” or other such nonsense, just show them this picture ;)
might not be photoshopped, but they’re not legs, either.
those are mutated claspers (or else they cut them to look like that).
OTOH…
this could be a very young landshark.
it seems to increase a lot quicker when I’m doing it than when I’m not.
I understand what you mean here, but my first thought on reading was:
“Of course, things I’m doing tend to get done faster when I’m actually doing them than when I’m not, too!”
I have added my church in Salt Lake City, Utah:
Center for Enthusiastic Abandonment of Rational Thought
Best Regards,
Pastor Agammemmnon Illuminotti
P.S. Please add churches in your home state so that we are all well represented.
Elbow Macaroni of the Second Pastafarian Church in Lasagna, NY is still up. Maybe they gave up purging the list, they are only going to spam us anyway.
Oh, yeah, spamblockers!
Paul Meyers from Redemption of our Holy Pharyngula, located in Morris, MN.
As a test, there were ~2200 an hour and a half ago (yes ~20%) when I stopped doing it and ~3500 votes with yes 35% ten minutes ago. In those ten minutes, with me hammering the vote button on “no”, the number of votes went to >5000 and yes is back down to 25%.
If it isn’t me doing it, it’s one hell of a coincidence.
Church of stuff that can be proven without recourse to fairy tales in NYC
God Dammit – I Thought I Told You – To Stay Out of Politics – WA
Whoever entered that, I Love it!
Aw… my Notre Dame du Mamelon Glissant isn’t there.
I’m almost tempted to send this to my grandmother (a minister in Vermont who performs gay civil unions).
Oh, and I am going to be getting out the vote. This Saturday I’m going to New Hampshire to knock on doors for Obama!
Can someone please explain?
They edited my entry – changed my affiliation from Flying Spaghetti Monster to Smithville Baptist Church.
Why, they’re as dishonest as I am! Bwahahahahaha.
“Pique-op N’Droppoff, Siberian Chauffeurs of Christ, Moscow, MN”
Someone’s a Car Talk fan!
O.K., The First Internoncongregasensationalist Unreformed UFO Church Of Dobbs Of The Living Smoke, Of The Immaculate Sale, The Perfect Hamburger, And The Last Laugh is on the list. I can’t wait to tell my flock who to vote for.
Church of the FSM – Milwaukee signed up and ready to go.
has anyone posted one in TX yet??
Some of them LOOK like jokes, but i can’t really tell
scaaaaaary
I can’t find the list. Where do I find it?
If I could remember the name of the religion Father Guido Sarducci invented where everybody gets to be pope, I’d have to register it.
Hmm, when I click on the link now there’s no list of churches whatsoever. Maybe they gave up.
Now that I’ve confirmed my email I’ve found it.
Rev. Dion Ysus at St. Bacchus of Dexter, MI reporting for duty sir!
OK, so I signed up. Now what?
How about “The Church Without Christ” in Taulkinham with pastor Hazel Motes?
For you Frank Zappa fans, we have Father O’Blivion – St. Alphonzo’s – Yellow Snow, Alaska
Oh noes! they deleted the one I liked best :(
http://img93.imageshack.us/img93/4210/dickgaypj5.jpg
No L. Ron Hoover?
The way it seems to be set up now, if you select a state from the first drop-down menu, it shows the churches from that state that have signed up.
Huh? Did they take the submission forms down? Because I’m not seeing them.
However, the Everyone Loves Potato Soup Church of Burlington, VT is still going strong!
Yes – 24.81%
No – 75.19%
8008 responses
They’ll need at least 4000 more yes votes (about twice as many more as they already have) just to get even.
PS, I don’t know how to save screen-shots, but if you look up DC churches RIGHT NOW, the second one down is “IRS 501(c)3 Infractions Investigations”.
You mean this one?
I don’t know where that could have come from…. *looks away whistling*
http://img161.imageshack.us/my.php?image=screenss4.png
where I stole the margareen?
tsg, thanks. There have been many funny entries but yours is my favorite. The beautifully sly “Obed Marsh of the EOD, Innsmouth, MA” entry would have had you beat but apparently that one was deleted before I had a chance to see it on their website.
Rev Ron Linguini of the First Pastafarian Church of Stroudsburg PA reporting for duty.
Ramen!
Michael @72:
The confirmation link you gave no longer works. :-( I’m getting a message that says –
Please click the link from your confirmation request email. Of course, since I gave them a fake email address, that is not an option.
Any other workarounds, anyone?
I just added mine – it’s a secret, but it’s one of the entries for my old hometown, St. Paul, MN. See if you can guess who it is! ;-)
kmarissa, regarding screenshots- After you click “PrtSc”, just ctrl + v (or right click and paste) into a paint document.
#186: You should have highlighted that church headed by Giordano Bruno a couple entries up.
I see they took mine down, too. Maybe, I’ll try the 666th day Adventists.
church headed by Giordano Bruno
Church of the Burning Man?
The best thing about this is finding the strange ones and wondering if they were real or fake.
There actually is a Hardcore Biker Ministries in Cheyenne, WY.
My latest, complete with stupid spelling error on the city:
http://img360.imageshack.us/my.php?image=houseofvn3.jpg
Thanks Mus; I appreciate it.
Um, I promised to add more St. Mattress of the Springs Churches, but I can’t get back to the form to fill out. All I get is the completed list now. What’s a computer-challenged Sister Sarah to do? The good news is that they seem to find my church innocuous; it’s still there. I’ve read through the entire list and there are maybe a dozen to 15 or so that are still in the midst of the real deal. One of my favs that I don’t think has been highlighted yet, and I don’t know how it got overlooked, is:
Trey Riddick First United Church of Knowing God (F.U.C.K. God) Knoxville TN
Here’s a resource of real but odd town names to make your satire less obvious (I particularly like Buddha, IN)
Oops, this time for reals: http://www.geocities.com/capecanaveral/hall/8701/townname.htm
Hell, MI is also a good one.
@ Hockey Bob #191:
Would that be HJ of the SACC?
Clear your cookies, specifically anything from afa.net.
Elvis Nixon
First Gaylord Texan Church of Man On Man Love
Flower Mound TX
(I didn’t do it!)
Ichthyic,
What – you got a problem with tiny pictures or something? ;)
they seem to be buying Landover Baptist…
I though Ajo Baptist was a clever phonetic shot at A-hole Baptist, but it’s just as real as Team Jesus Motorsports.
“Complete in Him Cowboy Fellowship”, Alvin TX
Cue the Brokeback Mountain jokes!
And that’s a real one.
What – you got a problem with tiny pictures or something? ;)
my screen is 21″ wide.
that thing was smaller than a postage stamp!
all i got out of it was that it was a square with some color on it.
Kinda looks like my driver’s license picture, now that I think on it.
#20 – you gave me an idea! I’ll pass this on to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. They might have some great ideas…
Check out this very recent update on their list of Californian pastors:
I spot-checked several states, and Landover Baptist seems to be getting through without being caught. Eastboro Baptist might fly too – worth trying.
Kinda looks like my driver’s license picture, now that I think on it.
Hmmm. Don’t think I want to ask any follow-up questions about that observation.
Speaking of DLs, I got carded yesterday – she told me I must have “young genes.” They’ll get my return business, for sure.
@ Cut and Paste above – there IS an athiest church.
http://www.acfnewsource.org/religion/atheist_church.html
And it’s in TX. Go figgure.
Hm.
Entering the following:
Tiktaalik Roseae
Elpistostegalian Sarcopterygian of the
Fram Formation
Anaktuvuk
AK
(yes, I know it should have been Nunavut, Canada)
Got me flung to the Answersingenesis page on the Flying Spaghetti Monster, when I clicked “submit”.
Hm.
Anyone get linked to an Answers in Genesis page about the Flying Spaghetti Monster when trying to submit?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski, Church of the Peaceful
@ Berlzebub #201
Your sarcasm detector is finely tuned; well done.
Darn. They zapped my Faith International House of Pancakes. :(
I think it might be the e-mail address, which is mailinator…
Nope, changing that didn’t work either. Hm.
Posted by: SC | September 25, 2008 5:08 PM
Reverend Jim Ignatowski, Church of the Peaceful
Sssllllooooooowwwww ddooooooowwnnnnnnnnn!
Dangit, they didn’t like Brian Cohen and they didn’t like Leeroy Jenkins…
#220
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat…dooooooeeeesssss….a….
*checks test paper*
yeeeeellllllloooowwwwww…..liiiiight….MEAN?
Shit! I leave for a few minutes and someone beats me to it!
Ah, nostalgia…
I used to have a furniture polish abuse problem, but it’s fine now. I took the Pledge.
After four hours, I’m still number one! The latin shouldn’t be hard to translate.
Well my entry disappeared from the list so I sent the following email to AFA through their contact us page:
Well, I cleared my cookies, and that got me the submit form, thanks! But I keep getting routed to the FSM page too. Even when I tried using a different email address. Guess my fun is over. :-(
Well, they took mine off right away, but I see that whoever put up the “Siberian Chauffeurs of Christ” church is still doing fine here in Minnesota.
I still am!
Only three of these are real, right?
(I’m so stealing “he died for your sins”…)
DC has been completely purged, on the other hand: it has a single entry — and that entry lacks a church name!
Alabama seems to be entirely real, too.
Vermont is apparently nicely balanced:
It seems Poe’s coming back to bite them for a change. Funny.
Louisiana is entirely real, except for… most probably… the Fellowship of Divine Unity Under Lucifer in Gonzales, LA.
Revenge is the best revenge.
— Klingon proverb
Just for the record, Google found me the original:
bortaS nIvqu’ ‘oH bortaS’e’.
I tried:
John
Paulo
Reformed Church of Yahism
and got the answers in genesis page =/
Tell me Jesus H. Christo of Escondido, CA is real. Too funny.
United Nazzerene Church of Life Eternal
It’s the return of the man from UNCLE!
You guys need to learn how to troll better. Try a little subtlety next time. ;)
But can you do this?:
Any in there for Objective Ministries?
You guys need to learn how to troll better. Try a little subtlety next time. ;)
you need to learn what the definition of trolling is, because if you’re referring to the current frivolity, posting fictitious names for fun on a ridiculous, bordering on tax code violation, pledge drive sheet is not trolling.
as to subtle, what makes you think the entries need to be subtle?
If you read upthread, you’d see there are a lot of people who understand the value of NON subtlety here.
Hmmm…looks like Florida could use a little help!
Fatherdaddy:
Ha, great find. Oh yeah, that is definitely some killer reverse Poe action right there.
I actually caught myself wondering whether Jeebus really had a middle initial or not!
Hmmm… maybe we can sprinkle in some reverse Poe-ing with our poll crashing.
Borat always does some nice reverse Poe.
Well, I got no confirmation e-mail, just shunted to that eye-bleedingly stupid article on AIG, but it’s still fun to see all the other faux fundies that have so far avoided detection. Hee hee hee…
They aren’t very vigilant. My church in Starkravingmad, KY, is still open for business.
This is one of my favorites: Simpletonian Church of Gawd, Rick Neumann, Bethesda, MD
“Lick Fork Missionary Baptist Church” London KY
… seriously???…
Hah! It’s after 10 PM and I’m still the number one pastor in Alaska. Seriously, some human webmaster is not very bright.
Notre Dame du Mamelon Glissant, Phil McCrakken, Larose, LA
Helps if you translate it – Our Lady of the Slippery Nipple… subtle is Phil’s middle name
Representing New Hampshire we have:
Buck Futter
Free Will Church of Slaves to Christ
Checking in from Kentucky; our place names here are something else. Eric (#200), thanks for posting that list. I think it’s Depoy instead of Decoy; don’t know what the heck that means. And Paint Lick is just down the road a piece from where I’m sitting.
JPS
Yucky. This as close to Fred Phelps as I hope to evar get!
(Though I did get placed above him.)
Check out the entry for Mayfield, KY.
Several apparently genuine Kentucky entries are right here in my county. Damn!
JPS
Oops. forgot to paste
John Enderby TRANSFORMATION CHURCH Shawnee KS
Russ Tuttle Community Life Church Shawnee KS
Adam Lester Southern Baptist Church Sublette KS
Joe Handson First Pentacostal Reformed Topeka KS
Fred Phelps Westboro Baptist Church Topeka KS
By the way, if you’re in Omaha on Sunday, stop by Elmwood Park to hear me preach. I’ll be at the south ball field roaming center field if I’m lucky.
I’ll be the one yelling, “Mine, Mine, Mine!”
Damn! They finally caught up with Gordon Freeman of Black Mesa, NY.
Mind you, that NY list is now only about a third of what it was, so it looks like they’re employing a real scorched-earth approach…
…how unlike Christians…
I’m surprised that no one from the First Self-Righteous Church in Pascagoula, Mississippi has signed on!
Sigh, they deleted my pledge from Pastor Dan Meathammer of the United Fellowship of Butthole Pleasures.
Found this one
Fairlie Inane – Faith United Christian Kamp – Kill Devil Hills – NC
>Flying Spaghetti Monster represented from upstate South Carolina
and from the lowcountry, as well.
Perhaps we should form a dioscese?
Rev. Wantru Seelingkat
Siamese Church of St. Thom
Sacramento, CA
=^..^=
Just signed as Rick Astley of Minneapolis’ “Never Gonna Give You Up” Super Jesus House.
I posted some good ones in Ohio. See if you can find ’em. :D
W Boson
Higgs Seekers Fellowship
Geneva, NY
@ domini1018 – I count 5 of ’em. Did I miss any?
Actually, only 3 of those were mine! LOL!
Our infiltrations still dot amongst them like dark spots on a leopard. Perchance they shan’t discover all?
Anyone tried “The sisters of St Naughtius” yet? Or am I the only one to remember that, being perpetually in great peril?
I’m surprised no-one’s put down Rev. Timothy Lovejoy of The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism, Springfield.
I have chipped in with Fr. Ted Crilly, Passion of St Tibulus Church. Like a lot of folk, I’ve gone for Alaska.
It looks like my nom de plume Amo Pudenda was finally translated. That along with all entries from Landover Baptist Church have been rendered.
Sancho Chupachico might at least puzzle them for a while…
I’m back on the first page. You just have to look a little more closely.
Are ANY of these real? (timestamp 11:07est) I recognise 7 of them
my home state:
Dr Samuel Libre-Pensador Our Lady of Ateísmo (Dr. Free-thinker, Our Lady of Atheism)
Henrietta Darwin Church of True Knowledge Darwin,
Lotsa Tatas Just pick one, they’re all the same anyway Does Mine ,
Billy Reuben Landover Baptist Church Freehold ,
Albert Gunny Landover Baptist Church Freehold ,
Pastor Gaye Wrights of the Open Arms Church is now in business.
I’m not getting the invitation to pledge any more when I click on the link at the top of the post – just the list. Anyone else have that problem / know how to avoid it.
Nick, I go back and erase my cookies (oo that sounds painful) and I can go back in.
Do you think Rev Christopher Hitchens of the Church of the Holy Cannibals in Alaska will stick?
Say hello to Miguel Sanchez! Springfield, Ohio
“Sophonda Cox” in Arkansas – a big junior high guffaw for that one! Isn’t her cousin Fonda Peters?
An oldie but a goodie: Irwin Fletcher, Light Of Love (LOL) church, Chevy Chase, MD
I still have several entries running strong
Cheers Mister Wildmon
Yay, all of mine in Iowa are still up and running. All my Alaska ones are gone though….oh well.
My guess is that they’ve wised up and started monitoring this thread (and the other related one). One of mine is gone, but the other is still there.
My Alaska one is gone but I shall create some others, but I’m not telling where. Nyah, nyah, nyah! Yeah, I think the creotards are monitoring.
I was thinking that yesterday, but everyone was having too much fun for me to point out the obvious.
nankay@276,
Thanks – I shoulda thort.
I put as my church as the Liberal Godless Atheist church with the name of Charles Darwin. I wonder how long they will keep it on there until they find out it is under Bloomington MN.
I signed up as Parah Salin ( para sailing )Wiccans Tabernacle , Sin City , Alaska
Boy I thought you atheists were so intellectual. How funny. Your depth is just fascinating. Hell’s fuel is your destiny or is your god darwin going to save you?
Hell doesn’t exist…
Well, to be pedantically and excruciatingly accurate, there’s a Hell in Michigan, and a different Hell in Norway, and a few other places are also called Hell.
Last I checked, though, they don’t use humans as fuel in any of those places.
If they’ve changed their policies, well, no one sent me a memo.