I wouldn’t normally quote the odious Matt Walsh, but I was amused that he was taking umbrage at a new version of the Bible. Then I read these excerpts, and actually sympathized with Walsh — a truly horrible sensation — because, yes, this was an embarrassing translation, something assembled by one of those old people who think they can be “cool” by naively aping slang they don’t understand.
It’s real. It’s something called The Word According to Gen Z: A 30-Day Devo Challenge, a month-long exercise in introducing young people to the Bible.
Over the next 30 days, the guys at Sunday Cool will guide you through unique daily devos written specifically for Gen Z. You’ll learn about the reverence, ministry, and application of God’s Word. You’ll also see how Scripture isn’t just about reading, but deep study and enjoyment of the very God who created you.
From the creators of the popular YouTube series with Cool Carll—the youth intern who grew up but never left.
If you have to call yourself “cool,” you aren’t.
I dug a bit deeper, and at least this video from Cool Carll suggests that there’s a little tongue-in-cheek action going on here.
They’re trying too hard. Most of my students would qualify as Gen Z, and I’ve never heard this kind of slang…but fine, I can believe some people talk like that, just as some people of my generation could talk like stoned hippies, man. But it’s all about context, we all know how to speak appropriately in different situations, and Gen Z kids don’t talk like that in the classroom, or in Bible study, unless they’re trying to get a laugh.
And then I found this interesting insight from a Christian blog.
Lifeway, the media and publishing arm of the Southern Baptist Convention, has long been known for its proclivity toward placing its bottom line ahead of biblical integrity when it comes to the materials they’re willing to peddle to Evangelicals and Southern Baptists for cash. Headed by Thom Rainer — and formerly, along with Ed Stetzer who now holds the Billy Graham Chair at Wheaton College — Lifeway has been criticized for its continued lack of concern over the heresy they publish and sell.
Lifeway is particularly dangerous because, being a part of a perceived conservative denomination, it is blindly expected that the store only produce, promote, and sell theologically sound materials. In reality, however, LifeWay’s model requires it to promote heretical garbage to maintain a steady income and it is part of the reason so much heresy has influenced the denomination over the years.
From its in-house Cash-Cow of Bashan, Beth Moore, who regularly fancies herself with silly stories of talking to God face to face who tells her to do silly things which sounds more like schizophrenia than anything biblical, to serial plagiarist, Christine Caine, Hillsong Australia’s rebellious version of Beth Moore, and others, such as Priscilla Shirer, Ann Voskamp, and practically any heretical lady-preacher you can think of, along with rank heretic and anti-Trinitarian, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, Steven Furtick, and even at one time, “gay pastor,” Matthew Vines, the list is practicalkly endless — Lifeway has made millions over the years peddling this garbage.
But now, Lifeway is taking it a step further by selling what is being dubbed a translation of the Bible — the Gen Z translation which is part of a new pragmatic approach to millennials called “Sunday Cool” — which practically turns every verse of the Scripture into a mockery of God by downplaying and stripping the majesty and deity of God by using meaningless words and artificial language that even millennials can’t understand.
I don’t follow Christian media at all, but I do know that “Christian culture” doesn’t exist — there’s a wide range of beliefs from innocuous “faith” with little commitment to insane fanaticism, and in between there are a lot of grifters, like the ones listed above, who get wealthy by seizing the power of capitalism and making a buck by telling gullible people what they want to hear.
One thing is for certain: you can always find a Christian who will call some other Christian a “heretic” or “blasphemer,” because it’s all of it, every word of it, made up. There is no foundation to any of it, not even the Bible they hold sacred, because they’re always happy to mangle the words to get any interpretation they want, and will go to war with anyone who mangles it a different way.
Cool Carll and Sunday Cool is a a comedy show that babbles about conspiracy theories and bigfoot and ufos and ancient aliens — it’s not very funny, but at least they got Lifeway to invest money in their ridiculous bible translation.
Has anyone translated the Bible into made-up languages like Tolkien Elvish? A similar waste of time.
On the other hand Domus Anguli Puensis is a lovely idea!
I prefer the LOLCat Version.
An Airplane Jive version would be way cool, yo.
But, joke’s on them ’cause Gen Z don’t read nuttin’, honey. And they don’t dig no cringe!
Anyone else remember lolcat bible? X-D
[Edit: Yes Grigjanis]
John 1:1
https://web.archive.org/web/20170617105813/http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=John_1
How embarrassing. It’s like when your parents (1960-1970 version) used phrases like ‘boss’ or ‘groovy’ or ‘far out’, especially when you had friends around. I do, however, sort of like ‘Cap G’ and ‘Big J’. I’m waiting for a Saturday morning cartoon ‘The Adventures of Cap G and Big J’ where they drive around in a pink and purple pimpmobile, solving crimes and capturing bad guys.
@submoron “Has anyone translated the Bible into made-up languages like Tolkien Elvish? A similar waste of time.”
Tolkien actually was involved in a serious Bible translation, that of the Jerusalem Bible. He did some work on the book of Jonah. I can see him doing a short piece into one of his languages (Tolkien was well aware languages changed over time and diverged so he had multiple Elvish languages).
@5
Yes, the bottom line is that Airplane! was a great movie and you should watch it again.
Since salvation purportedly frees one from an eternity of hellish torment, calling it a “get out of jail free card” seems a very mild analogy.
And at least Monopoly conveys moral lessons about the evils of capitalism – every player but one is ruined in the end.
a quick google shows the bible has been translated into klingon and more:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_translations_into_constructed_languages
A bit off topic, but. I have been seeing a growing number of bumper stickers in my area. They say, “Are you following Jesus this closely?” Every time I see one, I have to wonder how closely the vehicle’s occupant is following Jesus. I bet not as close as their bumper sticker insinuates.
Can’t remember if this posting system allows cross outs, so going to do it this way. I have long contended that the following:
“The greatest trick of the devil was convincing people he didn’t exist.”
was false (and not just because every idiot that says it believes he is real), and that it should read:
“The greatest trick of the devil was not the god of the Bible.”
I have now decided, based on current events that this is wrong too, and it should instead read:
“The greatest trick of the devil was convincing evangelicals he is god, and they need to spread hate, fear, lies, pain, and death to everyone else.”
Of course a group associated with this sort of thinking would be both a) so out of touch with reality that they think Gen Z talks anything at all like the “translation” they wrote, and b) part of promoting far, far, right religious nonsense. Its literally the “mission” they have been given – “Convert everyone you can, enslave anyone that isn’t white, while claiming you just prevented DEI and wokeness, and kill everyone else.”
How about translating the Bible into Klingon? Old Testament only please. For some books, the naked aggression and cruelty would translate beautifully, while other books would make just as much sense.
@13Kagehi: ““The greatest trick of the devil was convincing evangelicals he is god, and they need to spread hate, fear, lies, pain, and death to everyone else.””
I am stealing this.
fusilier
James 2:”24
Back a couple of decades ago I purchased some “Get out of hell free” cards from Randy Cassingham which were a parody of the Monopoly card. His take is obviously what Gen Z’s version should really be.
All I said was: that halibut was good enough for Jehovah!
@ Erp. Thanks for pointing that out. It’s fairly easy to see parallels between the Christian view and Tolkien’s things. Ainulindalë has obvious examples.
In the beginning Eru Ilúvatar made Arda. No I’m not quoting.
I’m calling reverse Poe’s law.
Perhaps, we’ve identified the true purpose for AI?
@13 Kagehi,
The same sentiment was expressed, although not nearly as succinctly, in Lord Dunsany’s short-short fable “A Moral Little Tale” found in his collection, Fifty-One Tales.
If it works, the link to the entire book follows:
https://gutenberg.org/cache/epub/7838/pg7838-images.html
@ Kagehi : “Can’t remember if this posting system allows cross outs, so going to do it this way. I have long contended that the following:”
You mean the strike tthoughs you get by putting Strike and / Strike inside of the angled greater / lesser than brackets resulting in
things looking like this? Yeah, pretty sure we can here..Since everything is made up, we might as well choose the most estetically pleasing variety.
Here is Tobias Forge, with the audience cheerfully chiming in at the chorus.
“Ghost B.C. – Year Zero – [LIVE] ”
.https://youtube.com/watch?v=hTYG2LY9Y8g
“HAIL SATAN! ARCH-ANGE-LO-O!”
@7. Larry :
FWIW whilst there’s no Big J show I know of there is an actually animated kids show on NITV called ‘Little J and Big Cuz’ – see :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_J_%26_Big_Cuz
Which actually has some reasonably major actors in it incl Miranda Tapsell as Little J & Deborah Mailman as Big Cuz. Pretty catchy theme song – hear it in promo ads whilst watching NITV.
StevoR @ 24
This is cartoonish-y:
South Park Woodland critter Christmas moments
.https://youtube.com/watch?v=XcgJfWJ8v9E
I suppose that is a way to celebrate a “savior”
No. 2, don’t laugh. I just went to Chat GPT and asked it to translate John 3:16 into Klingon. Here’s what it gave me:
Here is a translation of John 3:16 into Klingon, the fictional language from Star Trek. The verse in English is:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”
And in Klingon (based on standardized Klingon translations and linguistic structure):
“qo’ parHa’qu’ Qun, vaj wa’ puqloD neH nob; vaj voqbogh Hoch, ratlhbe’bej, ‘ach yIn pIq ghaj.”
So there you have it.
What are the odds that the “translators” just rephrased an existing translation such as the KJV or if they’re particularly attuned perhaps the New Revised Standard. Translating from the Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic text requires considerable skill, not to mention navigating the various textual sources which don’t always agree.
I’m still waiting for the Valley Girl translation. You know, one where Jesus, dying on the cross, feeling forsaken, says: “This is gnarly. I’m totally ruined, like a tubular farewell to reality. Why must I be the crispy geek?”
” The Word According to Gen Z: A 30-Day Devo Challenge”?
In the beginning, there was Booji Boy, who had an Uncontrollable Urge. He created the Beautiful World in 7 days, including the Spud Boys and the Real Tomatoes.
27:robro
Paraphrased editions of the Bible have been around for decades. The Living Bible was very popular in the 1970s and used the American Standard Version of 1901 as its base text.
Thanks to Matt G (#17) ‘s comment, I’ve got round to a ‘Life’ -long project to find out whether fresh halibut are, indeed, available in Jeruslem. I’m now much the wiser, and not only that, but the Python joke is deeper:
The name “halibut” means “holy flatfish”. It came from halibut being a popular food fish on holy days in England during early times.
So, more Batman, than Cap G…
Kagehi @13 and StevoR @22: you can also use the HTML
<del></del>(for “delete”) tag pair. For example,<del>foo</del>gives mefoo(although the overstrike isn’t obvious in the font that I’m using…maybe it’s better for you).I’ve discovered that
<b></b>(for bold) and<i></i>(for italics) work as well. The WordPress editor seems to mangle most of the others.Paging Dr. McClellan. Paging Dr. Dan McClellan. Please pick up the emergency red phone.
For comparison, this is real:
“God word dey alive, e get pawa and e sharp pass knife wey get two sharp side. Di word dey divide pesin soul from en spirit and e dey divide bone from bone; bikos God know wetin wi dey tink for awa mind” — Hibru 4:12
“Since wen di time start naim di Word dey and di Word dey with God and na God ensef bi di Word.” — John 1:1
(Holy Bible Nigerian Pidgin English https://ebible.org/pcm/ )
There are multiple pidgin babbles; e.g. in Tok Pisin (Melanesian Pidgin) Language of Papua New Guinea.
“Tok bilong God em i gat laip, na em i wok strong i stap. Em i sap moa, na i winim bainat i gat tupela sap. Dispela tok i save sutim man na i go insait tru. Em i go kamap stret long dispela hap tewel na spirit i bruk, na long ol dispela hap skru na kru bilong bun i pas wantaim. Olsem na em i save gut tru long olgeta tingting na laik bilong bel bilong yumi.” (Hebrew 4:12)
Oh, and a goodie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_of_Genesis_(comic)
“The Book of Genesis (2009) is a comic book illustrated by American cartoonist Robert Crumb that purports to be a faithful, literal illustration of the Book of Genesis. It reached #1 the New York Times graphic novel bestseller list and on the Christian books list at Amazon.com.
[…]
The book has been controversial, particularly for the explicit illustrations of sexual intercourse described in the text itself. In critical circles, it has drawn fire over whether and how literal the illustration job is, or should be.”
I don’t recommend pirating stuff, but here it is: https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/The-Book-of-Genesis-Illustrated
This is Matt Walsh. He hates it because he realizes it’s trying (and failing) to imitate Black American slang/AAVE. He reflexively hates anything he senses is Black or glorifies in any way (even in embarrassing ways) Black culture.
Fuck Matt Walsh
Christians are perpetually cringe. This is nothing new. Matt Walsh doesn’t deserve even the smallest amount of praise.
Fuck Matt Walsh
John Morales @35
I read it years ago. Honestly, it was pretty tame for R. Crumb.
Walter, yes. He was being quite literal to the text, no more and no less.
“Given Crumb’s past body of work, and his professed rejection of religion, many assumed when the book was announced that it would be a satire or otherwise profane or subversive send-up, and were surprised or disappointed[2] to find it “straight-faced”.[3] Crumb “resist[ed] the temptation to go all-out Crumb on us and exaggerate the sordidness, the primitivism and the outright strangeness”[3] found in the Bible—the depictions of sex are explicit, but not gratuitous. In his introduction to the book, Crumb writes he has “faithfully reproduced every word of the original text,” each word hand-lettered. The book’s cover contains the warning, “Adult Supervision Recommended for Minors”.”
Mind you, he did also publish Bible of Filth which is a collection of his erotic comics… but not at all Biblical otherwise.
Well, that reminded me of a leetspeak “translation” of the Lord’s Prayer I saw many years ago on Slashdot. Of course, that was intended as a joke—and I find it hard to believe that whoever originally did this “Gen Z Bible” didn’t also mean it as a joke!
Let us not forget the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCat_Bible_Translation_Project
(https://www.scribd.com/document/50448497/The-LOLCat-Bible-The-Book-of-Genesis-rev2)
John, yes I know. That was the reason I was interested in reading it in the first place. I’m not particularly interested in satirical takes on the Bible despite being an ardent atheist.
That and the fact I’m also a fan of Crumb’s artwork. His detailed cross-hatching alone is worth the price of admission. I was hoping he would follow it up with an illustrated New Testament. Seeing the discrepancies of the Gospels in illustrated form would be interesting. I could also pair it up with Asimov’s Guide to the Bible.
I don’t know about America, but I have noticed that some of my “generation Z” Latin students find this sort of thing very amusing. On several occasions over the last few years they have, for a joke, put their homework translations from Virgil, Cicero, Ovid and the like through an online “gen Z translator” app before handing them in (they do, of course, provide their original version soon after, because it’s a joke).
I think this is basically an attempt to commercialise the same kind of joke. The humour comes from the disjunct between culturally significant, elevated content and culturally fringe, frivolous style. It’s a kind of burlesque.
I like this one
https://thebrickbible.com/legacy/
.
@35 That link immediately spawned a mess of random fake virus warnings, a link to a website for a porn game, and an admonishment from my browser/antivirus that it had blocked a dangerous download, from an untrusted site. So, yeah, would have loved to look at that, for a laugh, but.. apparently that site is not terribly safe, unless you have like a “block every popup/link” thing installed. :(
Better version here, at archive.org:
https://archive.org/details/RobertCrumbTheBookOfGenesis
[meta]
Kagehi, point. Site is a Russian spamfarm, needs a bit of sanitation for access.
Content is there, but I should have noted that.
Your link is much safer and therefore better. Thanks.
It’s so much fun when the oldz try to get down. These guys have fallen and they can’t get up. I say this from experience as one of the oldz. Frickin’ embarrassments, the lot of them.
The King James’ bible was how one segment of society spoke in 1611,
It also pushed a worldview convenient for its sponsor.
Idk, seems to me this new version is more entertaining than the old version. Im all for referring to this one for all bible quotes in future
Isn’t anybody else watching The Righteous Gemstones?
Teenjus!