The toxic man-children want to fight

This is so childish and ridiculous — Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are going to stage a fight. The Italian government has offered to host it in the Colosseum. If it happens, it’s only going to be good for comic effect.

I don’t think it will demonstrate their competence at running their bloated, broken businesses — quite the opposite. I wouldn’t watch it.

Unless, that is, they bring in a Minnesota Man to hurl Skittles at them while they wrestle. That’s the extra oomph of absurdity I’m gonna need here.


  1. wzrd1 says

    Just hand the kid a bag of Skittles and get more entertainment with the wrestling with cops. He tried to trip up one of the arresting officers, to less than no effect, as it only took 3 to wrangle him into custody.
    As for the rich two stooges, why not do it right? Book them into the Colosseum along with me, to incessantly trip them with my cane. For greater entertainment purposes and to make them feel right at home, scatter rakes along the floor, tines up.

  2. cartomancer says

    According to Roman accounts, the opening ceremony of the Colosseum (well, the Flavian Amphitheatre – the Romans never called it the Colosseum) involved a re-creation of the myth of Pasiphae being impregnated by the Cretan Bull. Can we do this instead of gladiatorial combat?

  3. mordred says

    I honestly don’t see this actually happening.
    Unless someone sues Musk to actually follow up on his mindless blathering, again.
    And the whole childish mess hasn’t even lowered my opinion of these two clowns – just confirms what we know.

  4. StevoR says

    @ Erlend Meyer : “As long as it’s to the death I have no problems with this.”

    Preferably a double fatality to both of them!

  5. says

    If you’re wondering, “Why Skittles?” it’s because they came out with “pride packs” to celebrate pride month (and make money). It’s the new Bud Light.

  6. stuffin says

    The opening match should be DeSantis versus Trump.

    And I agree with the commenter who said, “to the death.”

    It would make it a form of evolution. It could be a good way to thin out the number big-headed shitbags in the world.

  7. David Richardson says

    Apparently, the fight is off. Elon Musk’s mummy told him not to be so silly.

  8. says

    @3 Tabby,

    And did you notice the comment from a patron who claimed that they felt a “stinging pain in her back area” after being hit with a Skittle? Seriously? A stinging pain? From a Skittle? Was it launched out of a cannon?

  9. mordred says

    @14 Great! Now if she would just ground him and take away his internet access…

  10. wzrd1 says

    @15, there are weaponized Skittles. They come in MRE’s, aka meal, rejected by everyone.
    But yeah, I wondered at which princess objected to that specific pea.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    The vikings on Iceland had swimming contests. The one who dared swim furthest before turning back won. On some occasions all contestants drowned.
    This kind of contest would be straightforward to arrange.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    Let them assign champions. I was thinking Musk could have a bloated Steven Seagal. Zuckerberg could have one of those rabid congressmen, or maybe Marine Le Pen. Zombie Iron Sheikh?

  13. silvrhalide says

    @16 Please… if only she would.
    OTOH, she lets him screw up entire companies, so not a lot of hope there.

    Honestly, if these two clowns actually fought each other, it would be a slap fight and involve a lot of crying and sulking.

    Anybody remember Celebrity Deathmatch? I suddenly miss it.

  14. astringer says

    It’s gonna be a cage match.

    Sooo, it’s to see if either of them can shut the f*** up for more than 4 minutes 33 seconds, yes?

  15. hemidactylus says

    Need I point out Musk outweighs Zuck by 85 lbs and is much taller? Even naked and oiled up, this won’t end well for Zuck unless he exploits a glitch in the matrix.

  16. wzrd1 says

    hemidactylus, not really. With a larger opponent, one moves inside of their guard, removing the reach and leverage advantages that they have.
    Weight advantage frequently means an upper body mass disadvantage, rendering them easier to take down.
    And in a cage match, kicking them while they’re down is still within whatever imaginary rules a fight allegedly has.

  17. says

    If this fight happens, I really hope both contestants lose; but my second choice would be for Zuck to absolutely kick the shit out of #QElon. They both deserve a beatdown, of course, but for the present, #QElon deserves it much more.

  18. birgerjohansson says

    ‘Poisoned stiletto fight’ would rule out the risk of anyone surviving. So would “hand grenade duel” but the audience would need to sit far away.

  19. wzrd1 says

    birgerjohansson, not really. A bit of armor glass would protect the audience, with a modicum of overhead cover. The cover, mostly to keep their clothing clean.

  20. Matt G says

    Fun fact: Skittles all have the same flavor. The company discovered it was cheaper to make the different colors smell different.

    Concerning the Colosseum: So many billionaires, so few lions.

  21. wzrd1 says

    Matt G, would you have noticed if you weren’t informed?
    Olfaction and taste are closely liked in the majority of people. I’m an exception, as I have no olfactory bulb sense of smell, what remnant that remains being trigeminal nerve exclusively. So, any flavors that are odor related, but fail to stimulate the trigeminal nerve system or my taste buds go unnoticed.
    That’s offset a lot by being a “supertaster”, with an excess of functional taste buds and a heightened sense for volatiles.
    But, if you really want to have some food fun, look up what orange juice actually looks like coming out of the storage vat at the plant. It’s colored orange colored and orange oils are added, it’s actually clear.
    Being a function over form kind of guy, I really don’t care. Does it taste correct and have the correct mouth feel and nutrition? Good enough for me, if it’s black, I’d still go for it. But, realizing that appearance is important to most, I recognize that which is reality. Appearance is important.

  22. Stuart Smith says

    My hope here is for a Lowtax vs Uwe Boll situation, where Elon Musk shows up ready to meme and have a good time, and then Zuckerberg walks out there like the Terminator with dead eyes and no expression and just utterly wrecks his shit.

  23. wzrd1 says

    I’m thinking of the Cuban boxer Stevenson in the 1976 Olympics, with a one punch match, leaving Stevenson with the gold. He ended up being awarded enough gold that he was awarded the Olympic Order.
    There’s a rumor that he even lost a few fights over his career. ;)

  24. wzrd1 says

    @PZ, ran into an interesting Skittles revolt thing.
    Skittles went with all white Skittles for Pride Month, in protest and support, repeatedly stated by their PR.
    Obviously, that’s not forgotten and GOP destruction of the hands that feed them remains in full swing.
    The laugh is, either way they starve.

  25. Doug Little says

    Sigh, Spacex is anything but bloated, Twitter also would be described as gutted not bloated. You can say a lot of things about Elon but his businesses are def not bloated.