Off to be needled and poked

Today is the day I get my big annual physical — I’m going to spend my morning getting bled and inspected and told that I’m an awful mess who is probably going to die soon. It’ll be fun! If I were a masochist, I’d be paying good money to strip naked and sit in one of those humiliating hospital gowns while my woman doctor tells me all the things that are wrong with me. If I’m really lucky, she’ll be joined by a doctor from the Twin Cities and my horrid shape will also be captured by video cameras.

Except I’m not a masochist and I don’t get off on humiliation, darn it.

I get to do this every year, until I’m dead. Looking on the bright side, maybe it won’t be too many more years.

I’m back. All the tests came back fine, even improved from last year. My inevitable demise has been slightly delayed. Unless, that is, Death is just trying to lull me into a sense of false optimism before springing a big surprise.


  1. says

    My sympathies, PZ. Having just crossed the line into septuagenarian status, I find myself scheduled with cataract surgery during the first week of the fall semester. Ugh. Perfect timing.

  2. christoph says

    “I’m at the age where, if I take very good care of myself, I’ll get very sick and die.” -Rodney Dangerfield

  3. birgerjohansson says

    Before they start poking you, you should yell “I dedicate this blood-soaked place to Odin!”*
    * reference to the novel “American Gods”.

  4. chesapeake says

    A good way to exercise is to use these Swedish walking poles, Bungypump, which increase exercise 77% over just walking and exercise 90% 0f your muscles. I’ve been using them several times a week in addition to weight training and cross training. I’m stronger now that before my M.I. doing about 7 hours a week of moderate exercise .In December.

  5. cartomancer says

    Well, I finally got my second vaccine today, so in two weeks’ time I should be as proofed against the malady du jour as I can be. Which means it is almost certain to kill me soon too, given my luck.

    Still, it’s not like anyone will really miss me. I’ve often thought that I’m going to have to fake my own death to make sure they do my funeral properly, but it’s not like anyone’s going to turn up.

  6. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin just ate some caseus to celebrate cartomancer’s second jab.

  7. Steve Morrison says

    Myself, I expect lots of people to attend my funeral. It’s like the old saying—“Give the people what they want and they’ll turn out!”

  8. Rich Woods says

    I have absolutely no intention of attending my own funeral, let alone anyone else’s.

  9. bcw bcw says

    My life expectancy only goes up two-thirds of year for each year I survive now. N+1 is tending towards the limit of N+0….