I was quoted in Charisma magazine!


Oooh, the thrill of recognition. I got a whole paragraph, too, not just a one-liner. Here’s my moment in the spotlight:

To be sure, tentacles have lots of “suckers.” The squid’s suckers are even more effective than the octopus’ in capturing prey. P.Z. Myers spells it out on ScienceBlogs.com: “They contain a piston-like structure inside an interior chamber, coupled so that when something tries to pull away from the sucker, it lifts the piston, further decreasing pressure inside and strengthening its grip—like a Chinese finger-trap, the more you struggle, the harder it is to get away.”

Except…REWIND. What’s Charisma saying to lead into that quote?

What I didn’t know was that a sneaky squid spirit would soon start stalking me.

Right about now, you might be scratching your head and asking, with all sincerity—or with all mockery—”What in the world is a squid spirit?” Essentially, it’s a spirit of mind control but its affects go way behind what you would think.

In his classic book, Demon Hit List, Eckhardt lists mind control and defines it this way: Octopus and squid spirits having tentacles; confusion, mental pressure, mental pain, migraine.” Sounds a lot like witchcraft, and I imagine that’s what it actually is. There are many expressions—and many manifestations—of witchcraft.

And what comes immediately after the quote?

Here’s a lesson: We’re not wrestling against flesh and blood. We can’t overcome a squid attack in our flesh. The more we struggle in our flesh, the greater the hold this spirit seems to get on us. The more we get in our heads trying to figure things out, the more ground the squid takes because the squid is attacking our head (our mind).

Squids also have a chameleon persona. Reference.com reveals, “Squid have the largest nervous system in the animal kingdom. They have the ability to change colors because they have translucent skin. The colors come from chromatophores, which are pigment cells that are on the outside of the skin that expand or contract to show colors.”

Spiritually speaking, this chameleon-like characteristic means it can change its behavior or appearance to stay hidden. It’s sneaky! Squids are fast swimmers and some of them can even fly. Again, that’s why you need discernment in any spiritual battle. Internet checklists and articles can be helpful if the Holy Spirit illuminates the truths within them, but we must ultimately wage prophetic warfare if we are going to win the battle.

The ignominy of it all — I am reduced to sciencey-sounding window dressing to add one little tidbit of true facts to a heaping bowl of bullshit. I shall have my revenge. When I’m dead, my incorporeal spirit will command a legion of squid demons, and they will slake their thirst for vengeance on this author’s head.

Or not. There are no floating souls or cephalopod demons, sorry.

Is this the kind of drivel that gets routinely published in Christian magazines?

Comments

  1. kingoftown says

    Interesting, but raises questions. Are these “spirits” the souls of deceased squid or demons taking the form of squid? Perhaps they’re living squid projecting an astral form?

  2. wzrd1 says

    ”What in the world is a squid spirit?”
    An ethanol tincture made with squid?

    As for the entire blather, dehumanize one’s chosen victim, then claim surprise when some of the ones with a few screws loose act upon the dehumanization of the victim.
    After all, the victim is merely a demonic squid, not even close to being human, so whatever the follower does is perfectly acceptable.

  3. raven says

    I’m the universe’s most powerful anti-squid demon warrior.
    So is my cat.

    Demons don’t exist.
    It’s not hard to defeat imaginary beings that do nothing in the real world.

  4. raven says

    Charisma magazine is indeed full of drivel by people unable or unwilling to think things through.
    Even when I was a xian, my mainstream Protestant denomination didn’t really believe in demons.
    The whole idea is ancient superstition with a lot of problems.

    .1. If demons exist and rule the world and people, then where is our free will?
    It means we are meat puppets to invisible forces and not responsible for our decisions and actions.
    .2. Where are the supposedly all powerful xian gods???
    If they can’t defeat minor demons like invisible squids, then why call them gods???
    .3. Who made the demons anyway and lets them run around ruling the world???
    It’s a good thing the xian gods are also imaginary or we would blame them for what their demons do to us.

    The whole idea of demons collapses when you think about it.

  5. Wrath Panda says

    Am I the only person constantly infuriated by people’s inability to use affect/effect correctly?

  6. says

    It’s not very often I immediately recognize a less common anime image, but that’s Squid Girl! She’s very much like PZ – an anthropomorphic cephalopod who is vocally very intent on conquering humanity but in actuality happier just hanging around with friends.

  7. Owlmirror says

    Five years ago, I discovered that PZ had been cited in a philolsophy paper, which concluded that there should be more studies of the Shroud of Turin.

    The Shroud of Turin, the Resurrection of Jesus and the Realm of Science

    In this article, we have examined some of the main reasons why the consensus view according to which neither science nor history can ever prove that the shroud of Turin shows signs of the Resurrection of Jesus is not convincing.

    PZ is cited in arguing for pragmatic methodological naturalism, and against dogmatic methodological naturalism:

    Pragmatic MN seems to be preferred even among openly atheist scientists such as cosmologist Sean Carroll or the biologist PZ Myers. Myers thinks for example that “if a source outside the bounds of what modern science considers the limits of natural phenomena is having an observable effect, we should take its existence into account” [27]

    [27] P.Z. Myers, unpublished, ( http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/11/08/in-which-i-join-michael-shermer-in-disagreeing-with-jerry-coyne-and-coyne-in-disagreeing-with-shermer ), 2012

  8. stevewatson says

    Is this the kind of drivel that gets routinely published in Christian magazines?

    There’s a continuum:Christianity Today for e.g. publishes only high-grade drivel that has some justification in the Bible, the Nicene Creed, or some other traditionally respectable orthodox source. Charisma however basically just makes shit up and slaps a “Christian” label on it. Religion is seldom far from superstition; charismatic Christianity is where it stops even trying to differentiate itself — demonic influences around every corner, prayer-as-magic-incantation, amulets, the works.
    (For reference: my scant observation is that Christian Today (note the difference) is someplace in between).

  9. christoph says

    @ microraptor, #9: And don’t get me started on its/it’s!
    Or “their/they’re/there.”

  10. Rich Woods says

    @Mobius #15:

    Great Cthulhu’s motivations are beyond mortal understanding. Our inevitable destruction may be nothing but an unintended consequence.

    (Ctheology should be a valid field of study, at least as valid as Christian theology.)

  11. DanDare says

    Cthulhu is not aligned with squid spirits. They vaporise in gibbering puffs of madness as the great old one passes by, indifferent.

  12. edmond says

    I love this part….

    “…. you might be scratching your head and asking, with all sincerity—or with all mockery—”What in the world is a squid spirit?” Essentially, it’s a spirit of mind control….”

    Ohhh, a spirit of mind control! That makes much more sense than a squid spirit.

  13. brightmoon says

    As a fundie minister of my acquaintance used to say Wooo catatatatah! ( that was his version of speaking in tongues) my kids, both under 10, mocked him behind his back for months . I barely held it together when he’d say that and people in the church would just fall out. Refused to let my kids attend that church and the one preaching YEC creationism . Superstition and bullshit is not my idea of faith. Squid spirits you say …….. figures ! I suppose that’s like the Jezebel spirit that women have that won’t let them be bullied by a misogynistic idiot

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