No wonder the empire fell!

You’re telling me that if I want to get from Beneventum to Norba Caesarina, I have to transfer lines 7 times, and it’s going to take how long?

I don’t get the point of all the colors, since they don’t correspond to much of anything, and the key to the map is totally inadequate.

Also, where’s Mornington Crescent?


  1. barbaz says

    All these lines come with a label. If the labels show the name the Romans actually used to call these particular sections of road, then the colors are useful.

  2. cartomancer says

    crescens urbis antemeridientis ubique est! hic est! ibi est! in omnis locis sempiternaliter est!

    (I am sooo nicking this one for my classroom wall).

  3. stroppy says

    Huh. After playing Mini Metro, I would have guessed that a change in color represents a change of management for a given section of track…?

    Europe is very colorful.

  4. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin asserts the real “Morington Cresent” — which, she also asserts, is a corrupted transliteration into Chinese — exists, and is a very active trading post in the inter-multiuniversal cheese & MUSHROOMS! exchange. It is quite famous for not accepting any known, nor any unknown, currency in its trades. As a result, most trade is by barter — so-and-so many of whichever MUSHROOMS! for such-and-so amount of whatever cheese — and so is largely pirate (and hence tax-free). Does not contain nuts. Also does not contain spiders, excepting the traders from Creepycrawlia minor, who are a silicon-based sentient fluorine-breathing “fish”. They make (and trade) a very tasty MUSHROOMS! and cheese syrup, which happens to go particularly well with pan purdue and a robust vin rogue.

    There are, she says, records of contacts of the Creepycrawlians with the ancient Egyptians (“very civilized, excellent linen”), ancient Greeks (“best olive oil this side of the galaxy”), ancient Romans (“boring, mostly harmful”), and Mayans (“highly intelligent, should be making interplanetary contact soon”). Strangely, apparently no contact with the Aboriginals in (now-)Ozland, or, for that matter, the Time Lords on Gallifrey.

    The precise derivation of the real name of “Morington Cresent” into that corrupted (allegedly Chinese) form is unclear. The popular story is that it’s via Irish Gaelic, but most scholars consider that to be an unsuppported winding-up, and have proposed paths via the ancient Incas, ancient Great Zimbabweans, or a defective semaphore.

  5. petesh says

    Mornington Crescent is (at least at the equinox) about 12 hours from Evenington Crescent. Any fule kno that.

  6. consciousness razor says

    Nah, you don’t want to take the subway for the whole thing. You can probably get a ferry from Capua to Carthago Nova, which would be much faster. There probably aren’t too many pirates. From there, go west to Hispalis, where you’d transfer to the line going north. There probably aren’t too many brigands.
    But if it were me, I may just stop once I get to Cartagena or perhaps Cordoba. Those seem pretty nice, or at least they will be once the Muslims arrive in a few centuries.
    Yes, travel options are a bit limited. Air Caesar, LLC, is currently only in the business of firing short-range projectiles at perceived enemies/weak targets, so it’s probably best not to use their services.

  7. brain says

    Trust me: in 2019, if you want to go from Benevento to anywhere else by public transportation, even if just 100km away, prepare for some long hours of waiting, changing vehicle, waiting again, hoping for a camel or a mule to come up instead of the train you’re waiting for, etc.

    Northern Italy is better, also because Pianura Padana is more or less the only flat place without mountains or hills or tightly packed thousands-years old towns and villages, so you can actually build a train line. Also north is weather and has most of industries. Benevento and its surroundings are wonderful, exactly because they’re in the middle of nowhere.

  8. KG says

    No wonder the empire fell!

    Whadyya mean?In the year A.C. 2756 magnetic railways span Roman territory from Persia to Terranova! There’s even a line right across Asia to the Nionian empire!;

    Bit of a shame we haven’t yet got rid of slavery and crucifixion, but at least there’s no Christianity! Most of the world is divided between the Roman and Nionian (Japanese) Empires, with a smaller Chinese Empire as a buffer, and Africa (which doesn’t really figure) independent. I quite enjoyed the books, although the paranormal powers of the sibling hero(ine)s don’t in my view add anything much.
    No happy ending!

  9. Phrenomythic Productions says

    Fun fact: The Via Agrippa is ultimately responsible for the Dutch-French language border somewhat further north. They bribed a bunch of Germanic tribes further north to protect the road from other tribes.

  10. Phrenomythic Productions says

    Actually that is not entirely correct… It’s the road from Colonia Agrippina (now Cologne) to Gesoriacum at the coast. Funny how history works…