Also, he claims to be an art connoisseur of worth at 18? This kid has a lot to learn in many areas.
Akira MacKenziesays
“I’m 18, I have green, eyes, a car, a country club membership, a yacht, 3 mansions, an eight-inch dick, my own private moon base…”
microraptorsays
This sounds a lot too much like the kind of person who walks onto a school campus with a gun.
ravensays
Also, he claims to be an art connoisseur of worth at 18?
On the internet, no one knows you are a dog.
Chances are absolutely nothing this troll wrote is true.
He is more likely to be a 40 year old guy living in his mom’s basement.
…maybe I could teach you the ways of an art connoisseur over dinner.
Not likely.
You are more likely to end up in a shallow, unmarked grave after meeting this guy.
He definitely comes across as a very creepy,. dangerous Ted Bundy type.
Buzz Parsecsays
Strewth @1: Yes! (Sometimes.) To get around various court decisions and laws (1964 Civil Rights Act, etc.), many country clubs enacted rules that make it almost impossible for people whose parents (implicitly “fathers”, of course) were not members to join. Chiefly targeted at people of African and Jewish ancestry, of course, but conveniently also keeping out Latin Americans, Asians, other Middle Easterners, and any future groups that they don’t know about yet, such as Martians and Belters, the policy cleverly allows for open-ended hate. So membership is heritable.
blfsays
maybe I could teach you the ways of an art connoisseur over dinner.
For certain definitions of a “connoisseur” — perhaps, such as, a spoiled brat with a sugar daddy — this isn’t impossible; nor is it for certain definitions of “art” — such as (and realising art appreciation is subjective), the works of Thomas Kinkade, the Painter of Light™.
Just throwing this out there – I remember being in a chat room once with someone who claimed to be the founder of Dell. I asked him a simple question. For someone who made a fortune in computers, he sure had problems figuring out how to open a second tab and search for Dell’s founder’s name.
Robert Serranosays
Who the Hell talks like that? I mean, even beyond the weird obsession with breasts (seriously “let the chest be your canvas?”), what’s with the whole thing with being “of breeding age?” It’s like Data from Star Trek got hooked into someone’s Pornhub account.
diannesays
I suppose it would be inappropriate to respond, “Yes, I would love to meat you! You sound as though you have any number of qualities that are highly attractive to a female ready to complete the mating ritual. I am a just turned 18 year old whose desirable mating qualities include luminous mammaries, voluminous hips, and skin that I definitely grew myself. I am very much looking forward to having your six foot frame for dinner!”
nomusesays
I think we have the makings of an epistolary short story here…
bcwebbsays
With the right country club membership you only get a date with the President.
chrislawsonsays
Tabby@10–
“I am, er, Riven of Dell…”
batflipenthusiastsays
That just HAS to be satire/trolling. No way that guy is serious.
Not that that would make his stupid joke/attempt to get a rise out of people any less annoying
efogotosays
@12: Diane, that’s perfect. Thank you for the laugh.
snuffcurrysays
A country club membership is a heritable trait?
Being white is not a matter of chance, no.
I’m stuck on the dark hair.
voidhawksays
I have huge lobes and a stack of gold-pressed latinum. This is very attractive to the feee-males.
Strewth says
That makes my skin crawl just reading it second-hand. A country club membership is a heritable trait? Who knew?
ParaLess says
Also, he claims to be an art connoisseur of worth at 18? This kid has a lot to learn in many areas.
Akira MacKenzie says
“I’m 18, I have green, eyes, a car, a country club membership, a yacht, 3 mansions, an eight-inch dick, my own private moon base…”
microraptor says
This sounds a lot too much like the kind of person who walks onto a school campus with a gun.
raven says
On the internet, no one knows you are a dog.
Chances are absolutely nothing this troll wrote is true.
He is more likely to be a 40 year old guy living in his mom’s basement.
Not likely.
You are more likely to end up in a shallow, unmarked grave after meeting this guy.
He definitely comes across as a very creepy,. dangerous Ted Bundy type.
Buzz Parsec says
Strewth @1: Yes! (Sometimes.) To get around various court decisions and laws (1964 Civil Rights Act, etc.), many country clubs enacted rules that make it almost impossible for people whose parents (implicitly “fathers”, of course) were not members to join. Chiefly targeted at people of African and Jewish ancestry, of course, but conveniently also keeping out Latin Americans, Asians, other Middle Easterners, and any future groups that they don’t know about yet, such as Martians and Belters, the policy cleverly allows for open-ended hate. So membership is heritable.
blf says
For certain definitions of a “connoisseur” — perhaps, such as, a spoiled brat with a sugar daddy — this isn’t impossible; nor is it for certain definitions of “art” — such as (and realising art appreciation is subjective), the works of Thomas Kinkade,
.Marcus Ranum says
Was his posting that the “involuntary” part of “incel”? Because maybe what we have here js a failure to understand cause and effect.
Great American Satan says
Ah, it’s the negging. It’s so easy to forget that foolishness exists when you see the humanity in people of all genders.
Tabby Lavalamp says
Just throwing this out there – I remember being in a chat room once with someone who claimed to be the founder of Dell. I asked him a simple question. For someone who made a fortune in computers, he sure had problems figuring out how to open a second tab and search for Dell’s founder’s name.
Robert Serrano says
Who the Hell talks like that? I mean, even beyond the weird obsession with breasts (seriously “let the chest be your canvas?”), what’s with the whole thing with being “of breeding age?” It’s like Data from Star Trek got hooked into someone’s Pornhub account.
dianne says
I suppose it would be inappropriate to respond, “Yes, I would love to meat you! You sound as though you have any number of qualities that are highly attractive to a female ready to complete the mating ritual. I am a just turned 18 year old whose desirable mating qualities include luminous mammaries, voluminous hips, and skin that I definitely grew myself. I am very much looking forward to having your six foot frame for dinner!”
nomuse says
I think we have the makings of an epistolary short story here…
bcwebb says
With the right country club membership you only get a date with the President.
chrislawson says
Tabby@10–
“I am, er, Riven of Dell…”
batflipenthusiast says
That just HAS to be satire/trolling. No way that guy is serious.
Not that that would make his stupid joke/attempt to get a rise out of people any less annoying
efogoto says
@12: Diane, that’s perfect. Thank you for the laugh.
snuffcurry says
Being white is not a matter of chance, no.
I’m stuck on the dark hair.
voidhawk says
I have huge lobes and a stack of gold-pressed latinum. This is very attractive to the feee-males.