How to annoy Ken Ham

Someone brought him a Gideon’s Bible from a Kentucky hotel that had been horrifically defaced.

Someone came prepared. I usually just scribble something caustic on the first page.

But Ken is irritated, and he has a rebuttal to the argument that something might be older than the Bible: IS NOT!!!.

Whoever left this trilobite image is scientifically wrong. Terry the trilobite died, was buried and fossilized just 4,350 years ago during the global flood of Noah’s day. These creatures—with their incredibly complex eyes—aren’t evidence of millions of years of evolution, but rather of God’s creative power and the destructive nature of the flood.

scientifically wrong…jeezus. So he simply asserts that the fossil is a hundred thousand times younger than the scientific evidence says it is, and claims that is still a scientific position.

You know, there are a lot of Christians that have no intellectual difficulty with the idea that the universe is far older than Ken’s goofy, anti-scientific interpretation says it is. Answers in Genesis is the muck at the bottom of a rotten barrel of bad ideas.


  1. call me mark says

    I have occasionally “autographed” Gideon bibles:

    “To my great friend Gideon, all my love, God”

  2. larpar says

    “Terry the trilobite died, was buried and fossilized just 4,350 years ago during the global flood of Noah’s day.”
    Hey Ham, how do you know this? Were you there?

  3. ashley says

    God has placed Ken Ham on this Earth to inform mankind what is, and what is not, scientifically ‘wrong’.

    He who has ears to hear let him hear.

  4. says

    @3 larpar
    I think Ham was one of Noah’s sons, so yeah. He was there.

    However, scientifically speaking, he is a poo head, and I do not say that lightly. In fact, I “tap black” as I say it, so nobody may contradict me, per established scientific protocols of science.

  5. madtom1999 says

    I collect gideon bibles from hotels (aren’t you meant to). Come the zombie apocalypse I will be able to raise the earths CO2 levels to ‘KILL’ in a moment,

  6. says

    @ #8 & #9

    Really guys, you are just showing yourselves up!
    Everyone knows that the immense quantity of rain reduced the salinity of the waters to such an extent that all marine creatures died, and only those that could survive in fresh water (or brackish water)…um.. survived.

  7. larpar says

    @Kip T.W. #7

    Wow, must have got good genes from his mom because his dad only lived for 950 years.

  8. whywhywhy says

    I love how Ken uses the trilobite’s name: “Terry the trilobite died”. Ken is playing along with the silly (and inspired) anthropomorphism of the bible defacer.

    The alliteration is classy.

  9. nomdeplume says

    What a great idea, perhaps atheist organisations could mass produce these? I am offended when I find a “Gideon’s Bible” defacing my motel room. How did we get to the stage where their presence was seen as normal?

  10. anthrosciguy says

    How did we get to the stage where their presence was seen as normal?

    I blame Paul McCartney.

  11. davidc1 says

    Poor,poor Mr Ham .Do you think early in the early mornings he lies awake racked with doubt ?

  12. Ragutis says

    I don’t hotel much. But maybe I should print up some inserts to have on hand. Maybe not. Those bibles just seem to fall into the trash can anyway.


    How many colors have you seen? I’ve only run across blue and orange. Are all the Gideons down here UF alums?

  13. Reginald Selkirk says

    Perhaps the funniest part of Ham’s complaint:

    This item was written with the assistance of AiG’s research team.

  14. Ragutis says

    AiG’s research team

    Any idea how much that pays? I mean, I’ve been sitting on my ass and spouting bullshit for years. It’d be nice to pull a check for it.


  15. Kamaka says

    Ken Ham is a grifter who uses authoritarian tactics to fleece the flock.

    Scientifically wrong? I doubt he believes any of the shit he spews.

    He is in it for the money like all clergy/cult leaders.

  16. brucej says

    You know what gets me is that Ken’s god supposedly did the whole flood thing because the humans were wicked. What did poor Terry the Trilobite ever do to deserve extinction then?

    Also I am most definitely going to print up some Terry the Trilobite book labels the next time I go on vacation….

  17. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    clearly stuck on the Tricky God, who planted that fossil there, including in all the factors of extreme age, (EG created with a specific mixture of isotopes to make us think it is old) in order to test us whether our faith is stronger than our puny intellect.
    I doubt it is possible to get around this mode of irrationalism.

  18. DonDueed says

    I don’t understand why people think that Ham is a fraud who doesn’t believe what he claims he does. It’s obvious that a whole lot of people do believe exactly that; otherwise Ham wouldn’t have anybody to sell to.

    If there are such people, there’s no reason Ham couldn’t be one of them. And neither you nor I know what is in his heart of hearts. He may be a hypocritical grifter, or he may really have drunk the Kool-ade and sincerely believe what he says he does. I think it’s likely that he did believe the nonsense at the start of his career, at least, and reasonably likely that he still does.

  19. SqueakyVoice says

    I read somewhere that someone used to go down to reception, tell them that someone has left a book in the room and ask the receptionist to put it in lost property. And then hand over the bible.

  20. flange says

    A beside-the-point observation:
    You know, as a professional in these matters, I think the the image looks amateurishly Photoshopped. A clumsily-drawn outline of the label, and an overall sense that the label is from a different picture.
    I do think the idea of putting that label in a Gideon Bible is funny and clever. But it seems to be a graphic straw man set up by a not-too-bright con-man.

  21. Kamaka says

    sherylyoung @ 29

    I encourage xtians to read leviticus, really, really read it.

    The uninvited ones who show up at my door, I ask them to open their holy book to leviticus, any page will do.

    Then I read them a half page or so, then ask “What does this even mean?”

    Of course they deflect to the new testament. Next question: “Wait, what? You know leviticus is part of your holy book, right? You own this.”

  22. KG says


    I don’t understand why Ham’s lying and cheating should be thought incompatible with him believing in creationism. He can be – and in my opinion is – both a grifter and a crank.