Too cheesy for K-Mart and Sears?

Oooh, that’s got to sting. K-Mart and Sears are dropping the Trump brand from their lineup, once again citing declining sales. The Trump brand isn’t good enough for K-Mart? Wow.


I can’t understand the problem, though. I mean, what K-Mart shopper wouldn’t want a $567.45 Trump Lamp? Look how classy it is. That is the best lamp. The greatest! Definitely worth half a grand. Donald probably has one exactly like it, except that his is covered in gold.


  1. says



    I see lamps like that fairly often in thrift stores, from the late 1960s, early ’70s. At any rate, that shade is completely wrong.

  2. Silentbob says

    Follow PZ’s link to the lamp and read the customer review for some light (heh) entertainment.

  3. says

    Ahem, I have seen ten times prettier and more original lamps being whittled out of a piece of wood by hobbyists, and then being sold at tenth of the price. I mean, how much work could this be for a skilled worker – fifteen minutes on lathe, ten minutes lacquering and ten minutes wiring.

    Asking for half a grand for that piece of crap is unashamed.

  4. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Looks like a project from my Jr. High wood shop from those who got to use the lathe. Bwahahahaahaaaa

  5. says

    Looks like a goddamed bowling pin. Or a bong.

    I am truly amazed that people exist who think that slapping Trump’s name on something that Trump knows nothing about increases its value by several fold. Even if Trump were actually a good businessman and had decent taste, neither of which is remotely true, that still wouldn’t make him an expert on lamps.

  6. Rich Woods says

    @Charly 3:

    That particular example would actually take more time than you suggest, if it were made from a single piece of wood rather than a block and a stem glued together. But it’s still no more than an easy afternoon’s work, and less than twenty quid’s worth of materials.

    Just goes to show how much you can fuck people over if you have a famous name. Most of those who bought the damn things won’t even have realised they were being scammed.

  7. komarov says

    Based on the shape I hypothesize the lampstand is actually filled with expensive wine, which would explain both the price and the unimaginative yet functional design.
    Consider this: the average eccentric rich person must have something rare and expensive (not to mention, alcoholic) to quench their thirst. They also live with the expectation that, upon their first angry shout, a butler should instantly materialise at their side, bearing a glass and a bottle filled with something at least a century old. Of course this doesn’t always work out, so our eccentric moneybag will soon resort to throwing furniture around until their wishes are fulfilled.
    Now the clever part: A lamp is an obvious choice for hurling, so it goes first. It breaks and out comes … precious booze! Thus the immediate needs of our boiling blueblood are met with only minimal damage, buying the butler the time he needs to jimmy open the liquor cabinet. Naturally the master jealously protects his drinks cabniet for fear of theft, which is what caused the fatal delay in the first place.

    As for how such a lamp would end up in the consumer market? Classic rich-people thinking: “I want to sell something. What is it that regular people like myself really need?”

  8. says

    Donald probably has one exactly like it, except that his is covered in gold.

    Surely you mean gold paint?
    Some thought his asking price ludicrous. Lambiet, a former Palm Beach Post reporter who now publishes the local blog GossipExtra, noticed flaws and shortcuts during a personal tour Trump gave of the property in 2007. Trump, for instance, boasted that he’d installed gold fixtures in the bathrooms. But when Lambiet scratched a faucet, he found gold paint under his fingernails.

  9. robro says

    Silentbob @ # 2 — And if you click the “See all verified purchase reviews (newest first)” link after the three reviews for the lamp, you’ll find “Sorry, no reviews match your current selections.”

  10. ck, the Irate Lump says

    That’s the most boring wood lamp I’ve ever seen. It’s not even made out of a solid piece of wood, but rather several chunks laminated together. Cheap.

    And I agree with Caine, the shade is all wrong.

  11. Lofty says

    The lamp appears to be modelled on Hair Furor’s clenched fist and middle finger salute, no wonder it’s lumpen.

  12. says

    @Rich Woods
    You woodworker too? You are right, of course, I was being facetious

    It would be more time if made from one piece of wood, agreed, because you would have to take away a lot of material. However when you click on the picture, you see badly disguised glue lines. and those are straight glue lines, not much fitting had to be done. So it was probably glued together in rough shape and then finished on lathe.

    But one hour was probably too little. However four hours (or, like you said, one afternoon) tops.

    It is probably not even some rare wood. Hard to say from this picture, but it looks like some mass-produced cheapo tropical wood (probably teak), and not even a massif at that, but glued cutt-ofs. I do not think it is high quality non-tropical hardwood like oak, walnut or elm (maybe the little ring on bottom is rare wood, but it might be just paint), but I might be mistaken, pictures can be deceiving.

    In concluseion, If I were to guess where the wood worker who has done this lives, it would be somewhere around Bangladesh/India/Sri Lanka. What I would not guess is “made in USA from USA produced materials”.

  13. says

    Addendum – mango wood. I was wrong guessing teak, but correct guessing the place of origin and the cheapiness of used material.

  14. jrkrideau says

    @1 Caine


    I misread the price in the main text and saw $57.45 and thought it was too much. I can get the equivalent at the local Salvation Army Thrift shop for $5.00.

    And you’re right the shade is all wrong.

  15. Rich Woods says

    @Charly #13:

    My dad taught me how to turn wood, but as much as I enjoyed it I’ve never lived anywhere since with enough room for a lathe. I’m decades away from having had any consistent practice; the last thing I made was a handful of pens several years ago. By that point my dad had progressed to making objects with stems comprising multiple interleaved helixes — I couldn’t even begin to work out he’d done it! He carried on working until a month before his death. He won prizes at his local club for many of his commissions, and I’ve got quite a few of his pieces displayed around my house. I value those reminders of him as much as any family photos.

    You’re right about the glue lines on that lamp. If they’re intended to suggest offsets around a bulb it fails pretty miserably.

  16. ck, the Irate Lump says

    Charly wrote:

    But one hour was probably too little. However four hours (or, like you said, one afternoon) tops.

    Honestly, I’d be surprised if it were actually hand made. I’d bet on mechanically manufactured on an assembly line. There’s nothing in that design that couldn’t be done entirely by machine.

    Here’s a much more beautiful lamp made on a lathe that costs significantly less ($350) than Trump’s brand, and was even manufactured in the U.S., rather unlike Trump’s merchandise:

  17. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I don’t actually find the lamp particularly ugly.
    But any time something doesn’t go well for Trump, that’s great.