This photo is incomplete

I was just sent this slightly retouched photo of Titanoboa, and it bothers me. There’s something missing.


No, not a caption, although that might help. What it really needs is…a second panel! What will happen in this scene just a few minutes later? I can picture it in my mind’s eye, no problem.


  1. Crispin says

    Something along the lines of “Take of this and eat, for it is the body of Chirist which is broken for you” as a caption to the snake swallowing whole :)

  2. George says

    The most disturbing aspect is that Jesus has to hold his pants (robe) up. Oh wait, that’s what you meant was going to happen in the next panel…

  3. Cruithne says

    I think Jebus is saying “you might think you’re the biggest snake on the planet but just wait till you see some of my followers”

  4. Igor says

    Obviously the snake is the biblical snake from Genesis. It would be more appropriate to set Adam and Eve there.

  5. Levi in NY says

    Second panel: Jesus runs away from the snake, over the water of course, periodically picking up fish and hurling them back at the snake as each one instantly turns into hundreds of fish in mid-air, attempting to quell the snake’s appetite.

    Third panel: With his gaze still behind him on the snake, he unknowingly reaches the opposite shore and trips over another Titanoboa, which promptly devours him.

  6. Wowbagger says

    How about in the second panel there’s no sign of Jesus but there is a very lumpy snake – and it’s talking to the crocodile-looking thing and asks it, ‘Hey – do you think this lump looks like Jesus?’

  7. DGKnipfer says

    Jesus standing next to a telephone pole? I mean, you would get one hell of a big stick from that transmutation.

    Sorry, I just couldn’t stop myself.

  8. Holbach says

    Snake muttering, in obvious distress, “must shit this thing out before it poisons me”.

  9. says

    I would hope the next panel is Jesus walking around Burning Man with that Constrictor wrapped around him. He’d be chatting up the ladies and doing fairly entry-level miracles like turning alkali sand into Red Bull, and re-inflating the tires–with his mind–on that crazy-ass roadster full of drag queens.

  10. says

    OH this explains it.

    I did see jesus once.

    But it was in Yellowstone, the snake was a bison and Jesus was a fat tourist in shorts, a strange hat and was from Ohio.

    Same result essentially.

    Moral of the story: Jesus or not, listen to the park rangers and don’t fuck with the wildlife.

  11. gb says

    Second panel: Consumption
    The snake is alone in the wilderness

    Third panel: The resurrection
    3 days after eating a JZ (Jay-Zee) burger the snake feels like eating again

  12. Burning Umbrella says

    Moral of the story: Jesus or not, listen to the park rangers and don’t fuck with the wildlife.

    And should this be interpreted literally or metaphorically?

  13. Holbach says

    Carl Buell @ 20

    Thanks for that photo; quite impressive. And to think that the time, location and denizens actually existed as depicted! And all without the god bullshit.

  14. William says

    Oh, come. The second panel would have Chuck Norris standing over a dead snake, shaking Jebus’ hand.

  15. LisaJ says

    I think you’re all missing what’s really going on here.
    Panel 1:
    jebus to the snake: “Come on, please, please let me pet you. Just one quick 5 second stroke. I created you, you know!”
    snake to jebus: “Back off buddy. You better get out of here fast, you’ve really done it now.”

    Panel 2:
    Having overheard jebus proclaiming his apparent omnipotent creative abilities, which they logically know are ignorant and false and are therefore now filled with unspeakable rage, the crocodile and turtle come form behind and tag team jesus for dinner.

  16. says

    Yum, a Jesus Wafer! Yum, the body of Christ! Tasty human.

    WOWO Obama Just Crossed the Line that Separates State and Crutch:

    White House to expand faith-based initiatives
    By Andrew Ward in Washington

    Barack Obama announced on Thursday an expansion of federal support for faith-based initiatives and community organisations, calling them a “force for good greater than government”.

  17. Blind says

    quoth the big catlick snake at the communion rail ” In nomine patri et filli et spiritu sancti, Corpus Christi” )

  18. eddie says


    Apologies to #10 but more haste less speed.

    I see a partiallyclips strip with three panels:
    1st – Jeezus – “Get behind me, foul beast of…”
    Snake – “Hey J! Are you enjoying the evo/creo debates on the web?”
    2nd – J – “Not really. If it isn’t the nails, it’s all the nutjobs threatening violence in the name of peace.”
    3rd – S – “How d’you think I feel? I used to be a brontosaurus.”

  19. ssssssstan says

    hey, you atheists come across a mutation that adds a new structure?…..even a tiny piece of new gross anatomy?

  20. gb says

    Clearly it is obvious that this is the second station of the Titanoboa.

    Stations of the Titanoboa
    1. JZ is condemned to death
    2. JZ receives the Titanaboa
    3. JZ is squeezed the first time
    4. JZ meets His Maker
    5. Simon of Palaeocene comforts Titanoboa
    6. Veronica wipes neotropic sweat from JZ with her veil
    7. JZ is squeezed the second time
    8. JZ meets the 3 coils of hypoxia
    9. JZ is squeezed the third time
    10. JZ is squeezed out of His garments
    11. Crux of it: Jesus is swallowed by the Titanoboa
    12. JZ dies in the Titanboboa
    13. JZ’ body is removed from the Titanoboa (Deposition or Excretion)
    14. JZ is laid in the tomb and covered in incense.

    15. 3 days later Titanoboa is hungry again.

  21. steelstringed says

    Hmm.. it seems I am new to posting comments and my html isn’t working to post my link to the panel I made..

  22. Wowbagger says

    Lumpy snake with a thought bubble: ‘Hang on, I’m Jewish – is Jesus kosher? Damn, I wish I had opposable thumbs to work a phone so I could call the Rabbi…’

  23. Holbach says

    stan @ 51

    There is a big snake that wants to meet you and put the fear of jeebus into you. Just give him a nice pat on the head. Schloop!

  24. gb says

    Stan at ~#51
    You won’t find many darwinists here. I think the last of them died out 100 years ago or so. What you may find is a number of individuals who recognize the fact that evolution is a on-going work involving contributions by a great many men and women who are not mentally stuck 150 years in the past.

  25. sssssssssssssssssssssssssss says

    hey evos — where exactly are those mutations that create new structures or new parts to existing structures? In your sphincter?

  26. LwPhD says

    @Cruithne, #12:

    When reading your comment, I jumped to this conclusion:

    “you might think you’re the biggest snake on the planet but just wait till you see what’s under this robe”

  27. Inky says

    Panel 2:
    Jesus drops his robe to reveal his full glory, Snake gets ready for some lovin’.

    Alternative Panel 2:
    Jesus turns the snake into a GIANT biscotti to go with his wine.

  28. Dahan says


    I use to have high blood pressure. Never as bad as you apparently have, but bad enough. I’m on medication and it’s helped immensely. I would suggest you do the same. Perhaps some anger-management classes as well. They can do wonders, I’ve heard. When you’ve finished that, take some remedial science classes at your local college and then come back and talk to us. We’ll be looking forward to it!

    My take on the pic: Jesus makes his saving throw and casts a fireball.

  29. hawkesy says

    Hey ssssssssss,

    Yes, that’s where we keep them.. Or, you could always go out and try to find out for yourself of asking to be spoon-fed. You know, use your brain, find evidence, make your mind up.. It makes perfect sense how you ended up in your current sad state.

  30. Faid says

    Nice work on the second panel! Although I think the ‘strip’ works better with just the lump on the snake’s belly.

    Alternatively: Stan appears in the guise of a giant Troll and devours both.

  31. GMacs says

    Hm, I hear hissing. But it’s not a snake.

    I think it’s a hydra-like sockpuppet. And it appears to be of the variety that trolls.

    Omigad! We should have the hydra-puppet-troll fight Titanoboa! Epic battle of the creepy reptilians!

    My bet is on Titanoboa.

  32. Dahan says


    Well, you’ve once again made incorrect assumptions. Even when I was in the Marines in my late 20’s and running 4 to 6 miles a day my BP ran fast. Thanks for the advice though.

  33. davem says

    Jebus: “You lie just under the water, I’ll walk along your back, and we can do that walking on water trick. They’ll be talking about this for years.”
    Snake: “OK, sssssoundsssss like fun”.
    (Jebus walks on water before the 5,000, who start feeling hungry).
    Jebus: “I need to feed 5,000 people”. Hm (looking at snake), I wonder if”…
    Snake: “I’ve just remembered about that sssslithering busssssinessssss your father did to me in the Garden of Eden. Nom nom nom, Burp!… hmmmm, tasty, Jebus was my sweet Lord”.
    (Jesus doesn’t have time even to get cross)…
    Snake to Crocodile. “I’m no longer hungry; Jebus was your saviour”.

  34. Jeff says

    Jesus is perfectly safe. That’s a pre-fall snake, so instead of being a predator, it lives on love and rainbows.

    and Stan… going out of your way to lash out at others for understanding that some of your beliefs are mistaken is no way to grow as a person. You could learn things from the people here, but instead you just babble.

  35. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    Stan, it is up to you to prove your theory. Put it out there in the scientific literature for all to admire, or maybe get a real dose of how pathetic your piddly idea is. Methinks the tin man has no balls for real science. You are hereby challenged to write the paper or shut up.

  36. AnthonyK says

    Congatulations, Stan, on discovering how science is done, opinions properly expressed, and theories approved.
    We find generally that shouting and insults have discovered far more than contemplation and rigourous testing.
    I mean Isaac “fuck off you agravitational sphincters” Newton, and Charles “are you looking at my wife creationist dumbfuck” Darwin did not succeed as they did by reasoned argument, in the right place, and with a knowledge whereof they spoke; no siree, it was a quick kick in the testicles, the yelled epithet we here on pharyngula no longer use (alas!) and science did its work.
    You seem like a reasonable cove, with interesting ideas we would love to hear, so please carry on, we are all ears.
    But remember, being well-spoken atheists, we are not at home to Mr Shit-for-Brains.
    You were saying?

  37. hawkesy says

    Ok, I’ll just run through 40,000 generations of Zebra for you. I’ll get back to you in 200,000 years. Do you mind waiting?

  38. Rey Fox says

    “has anyone got a link you can give me of science testing natural selection (in a controlled setting) in animals and validating that it can adapt their populations genetically?”

    Not until you jump into the sea and evolve gills. We’ve been over this, stanster.

  39. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    Stan, how is your experiment of you growing gills by jumping off a boat into deep water with a few concrete blocks tied to your feet coming? You should have had some results by now.

  40. hawkesy says

    I hope someone is looking after you Stan. How do you survive each day with a brain like that? It must be so difficult for you.

  41. Faid says

    JZ: “Hey, um, you know you guys were vegeterian before the Fall? It’s true! Hey, maybe you should, like, try it? I mean come on you need to lay off the junk prey, you know, you’re gonna get THIS thick! And, um…”

    TB: “Look man, I ain’t gonna eat you. I just had breakfast and I’m stuffed”.

    JZ: “…Oh”.

    TB: “Save it for the Crocodilomorph behind you”.

    JZ: “Whaaa”? *chomp*

  42. JD says

    Stannley: The distribution of beneficial effects at a gene has the same mean regardless of the fitness of the present wild-type allele. Adaptation from new mutations is thus characterized by a kind of invariance: natural selection chooses from the same spectrum of beneficial effects at a locus independent of the fitness rank of the present wild type.

  43. Wowbagger says

    I think it’s time PZ gave some other posters the authority to ban certain people and delete their posts – but only those habitual offenders who appear on pre-approved list, of course. If he made sure that he covered all the timezones there’d be no chance a moronic turd like Stan would get the attention his tiny brain demands.

    Until then, don’t feed the troll. Apart from anything else, when PZ does delete him it’s going to put the post numbering completely out of whack.

  44. hawkesy says

    Stan, I am assuming that you are a troll.

    There is plenty of evidence, but whatever you are generously offered you will discard, as it doesn’t fit your increasingly tight criteria. Eventually, when you have so many exceptions that you are effectively denying reality, it will dawn on you. Until then, we just have to be patient and put up with your all too common variety of ignorance.

  45. Wowbagger says

    Sorry to presume you’d gone to bed PZ, or had other things (baby-eating, for example) to do and weren’t aware of the troll crapping all over the place.

  46. hawkesy says

    Can you please delete my replies to Stan as well? I shouldn’t bite, but sometimes I can’t resist..

  47. AnthonyK says

    Stanley it really is lovely to have you with us. We’re sorry to hear your wife is ahagging other men, largely on account of your own homosexualtiy and inability to perform, and as Pharyngula operates very much as a counselling service for the terminally inadequate, we’d love to help. So please relax, pour yourself another whisky, and just let us know what the matter is. We’re all ears.

  48. NewEnglandBob says

    The next panel would be the credits following:

    T H E E N D

    This fantasy was brought to you by Disney. No real snakes were harmed in the making of this film. The actor who plays the fictitious Jesus was also not harmed.

  49. AnthonyK says

    re @63,95

    That’s lovely darling!

    (Sorry, getting all sarcastic. It’s Stan’s fault. And your picture was good)

  50. steelstringed says

    @ zaardvark: I saw your panel, and it definitely steals the laugh away from my attempt on post #52 :) Superpowers Jesus ftw!

  51. Lee Picton says

    PZ, Is there some way you can delete the contents of scurrilous posts and leave the numbering system intact? Or replace the content with “This post has been deleted”? That would save a lot of confusion.

  52. Heraclides says

    @72: Dahan,

    Marines only run 4-6 miles a day? Perhaps with packs on? Wouldn’t a lot of “Joe Average joggers do that? (In my long distance running days I averaged about 10-12 miles a day. 4-6 miles were my “short” days, 16-20 for the long ones.) Not trying to put myself up, just a bit surprised. There must be a wrinkle I’m missing like carrying full kit + packs wearing boots, or whatever.

  53. ArchangelChuck says

    PZ, you already have the second panel. See your original post on the Titanoboa. ;)

  54. Mostlyharmless says

    Is anyone else really disturbed by the scale implications of Jesus Vs Giant ass snake?

  55. llewelly says

    Moral of the story: Jesus or not, listen to the park rangers and don’t fuck with the wildlife.

    Wait a minute. Bestiality doesn’t violate celibacy? Well, that’s news to me, but it sure fits with the news that saddlebacking doesn’t violate abstinence. If Jesus says it’s ok, it must be ok. I’m sure he knows his business.

  56. deang says

    If you’d superimposed a representation of Abraham, you could have nailed three religions at one go. But I can’t think of a readily recognizable image of that guy.

  57. Twin-Skies says

    If the Jesus there was Chinese, the next panel would show the poor snake beheaded, and Jeebus dicing it up into chunks before stir-frying ’em in a wok with salt, pepper, and garlic.

    They taste like chicken.

  58. Wowbagger says

    Archangel Chuck, #111

    Nice pic – how about you add an easily-seen halo to both the original pic and also one above the lump in the snake where you would imagine JC’s head to be? I think that’d be extra hilarious.

  59. Helioprogenus says

    What’s this color blind bearded anglo-saxon doing in the steamy tertiary equitorial swamps of the southern continent in the western hemisphere?

    As far as mormons are concerned, wasn’t this chap supposed to have landed in North America a few millenia ago? Is he really a time-and-space travelling alien? Or did he get his coordinates wrong?

    How many of this colorblind dude’s followers could this snake eat before it got indigestion?

    Too bad they didn’t have a population of these serpents in the Palestine of 2 millenia ago. There are at least 12 other jews these serpents should have had for breakfast as well. Why stop with them though, there are plenty of tasty mindless morons that could make quite a feast.

  60. don kane says

    Are the sizes right? or were humans also bigger 40 million years ago?
    (Actually, weren’t we little things up in the canopy back then?)
    (Awww, the good times….)

  61. says

    Apologies if someone above already mentioned it, but I’m picturing the scene from Anaconda where the giant snake spits out Jon Voight.

  62. Azkyroth says

    hey evos — where exactly are those mutations that create new structures or new parts to existing structures? In your sphincter?

    Hey creo troll – why exactly are you so interested in our asses, hmm? ;)

  63. AnthonyK says

    hmmm…nice pics. It reminds me of the T-shirt I most regretted not buying, at the Glastonbury festival 20 years ago. It was large, and very lurid, and featured Christ on the cross being sucked off by a centurion – the agony and the ecstacy, as it were. It seemed in rather poor taste to me then, and I couldn’t see myself ever wearing it. I think I missed the point, as well as the purchase.

  64. frog says

    I’m so confused. The snake is a traditional symbol of resurrection and renewal; so is JC, which is why some early Christians believed that Jesus was the snake in the garden.

    So if the snakes eats Jesus, and then sloughs off its skin — does the skin come back to life? Does the snake just collapse into a singularity of over-dense metaphor? Does he fall on top of Moses in the desert and get converted into a cracker?

  65. Feshy says

    Panel two, a lumpy snake with this caption:

    How strange… he tasted vaguely like styrofoam. I’ve got to find some grape juice to wash this down with.

  66. steelstringed says

    This should be Jesus’ speech-bubble for Shane’s second panel in #45: “Take, eat; this is my body.” (Matt. 26:26)

  67. Terry says

    Gen 3:1 “Now the serpent was more crafty [*] than any other wild animal that the Lord God had made.”

    [*] Some manuscripts add: “and biggest-ass wild animal”

  68. LMR says

    steelstringed @ #52

    One small change. Snakes eat prey head-first. We should see those oil-annointed feet instead.

  69. Nurse Ingrid says

    #5: You’d just see a huge snake with a slight lump in the middle.

    “My drawing was not a drawing of a hat. It was a drawing of a boa constrictor digesting our Lord and Savior.”

  70. says


    “My drawing was not a drawing of a hat. It was a drawing of a boa constrictor digesting our Lord and Savior.”

    What a fine book. Glad to see others are familiar with it.

  71. JoeB says

    Isn’t that Amazonian native kind of over dressed for 100+ deg. F. heat? If the average temperature was 90+, imagine the typical afternoon temps.

  72. Kevin says

    Christ fornicates with a snake!??

    Egahd man have you no shame!?

    besides, per heeddle, Christ did NOT give instruct to the snake before it seduced and raped Eve in order to turn her against the “early Bob Dole Syndrome” Adam.

    That was God’s first choice to lead his flock of angels.. dodos, er whoever he was hanging out with. OK?

  73. Mike B says

    It’s midnight and I think I bust a gut on a few of those first replies. Brilliant! I vote for Badjuggler.

  74. perturbed says

    “Jesus and Titanoboa – because some Christians can accept that the Earth is older than seven thousand years.”

  75. rufustfirefly says

    The serpent in the Garden of Eden, explaining evolution to Adam and Eve (Adam and Steve?), then they turn their backs on the idea of a creator.

  76. Patricia, OM says

    AnthonyK – Most excellent day/night of comments. I hope I’ll remember this come Molly time.

    But in case I don’t – please accept 15 ducats added to your bar tab, a free roll in the gutter with the hogs, and two extra minutes at the spanking couch.

  77. Canuck says

    Clearly, it’s a halo that’s missing. Otherwise it’s just some bearded dude. But the creotards would like having a man in there with dinosaurs, seeing as they did live at the same time.

  78. Stu says

    Patricia, hold off on the Molly. Go look at frog’s work in the Face Of Evil thread.

    Then again, Anthony did rock the house in here.

    Decisions, decisions.

  79. Christophe Thill says

    Instead of Jesus, it should be St Francis of Assisi, because he was the animal-friendly one.

    As for Titanoboa, I can’t wait till it’s used in some crappy horror movie. Its name would make a wonderful title!

  80. Martin says

    @Chris Davis, #147:

    Wonderful ;) Now please do the third picture in the row!

    Btw.. Does anyone know what Snake-poo looks like ?

  81. says

    pwl@35: I’m not sure. The spin and the choice of director are very religious but it reads like the actual policy is to provide funding for voluntary groups to provide social services whether they are Baptist or Marxist or genuinely non-ideological.

  82. AnthonyK says

    I like the reply to a pushy evangelist:

    “Have you found Jesus?”
    “I didn’t even know he was missing!”

  83. Chris Davis says

    @Martin, #151
    Thanks for the kind words. Yes, do knoes what snake poo is like, and it’s disgusting!

    When you catch a snake, it invariably craps all over you as a deterrent, and the effect makes Sarin resemble Chanel.

    However, since you suggest a third panel, I shall work thereupon. Watch that space down there.

  84. Knockgoats says

    Panel 2: Somnolent snake with Jesus-shaped lump in midsection.
    Panel 3: Indignant looking snake with upright Jesus-shaped lump in midsection (caption: 3 days later).
    Panel 4: Very surprised looking snake shooting upwards into sky, still with upright Jesus-shaped lump in midsection (caption: 40 days later still).

  85. AnthonyK says

    The picture of this “fossil” and the puerile humour accompanying this blasphemous picture is a disgrace.
    Evolution is a lie and you all know it.
    Jesus Lives!

    Snake Poe

  86. says

    Dr. Myers, is it me or is it your blog mostly full of humour?
    I can’t help stop laughing when I read the stuff people post.

  87. AnthonyK says

    Yes Muhamed, you are correct. We are miserable sinners and evangelists for Satan whose only defence against the inevitable hellfires is to laugh hysterically and mock our ultimate fate.
    Well, it works for me!

  88. strangest brew says


    ‘And should this be interpreted literally or metaphorically?’

    Makes not an iota of difference if indulged in… tis the same outcome!

  89. Carpworld says

    Jebus: That’s it! I’ve had it with these motherfuckkin snakes in this mutherfukkin garden!

  90. says

    AnthonyK, old chap, I think I’m on the same boat, well, I was the last time I looked in to my head.

    And, yes, Rev. BDC, some of us do try.

  91. jemand says

    No, no no. Most of you have it all wrong. That’s God and the Devil before they broke up. It didn’t go well for the devil, hence the fossil. God? Well, sustained some injuries but managed to survive until Nietzsche dealt the final, psychological blow…

  92. AnthonyK says

    Muhamad – interesting blog (but looks awful, apart from the lovely photo, in explorer – are you working with a non-standard character set?) so I thought I’d ask, are there any atheist/sceptical blog in the “Muslim” world? It seems to me, and pardon my ignorance, but most Muslim sites are concerned with politics/religion (oh, and of course, mundane real life), not any alternative mode of thought. Do you feel censored? And this is assuming of course that you do have atheist leanings. I’m dying to know who, if anyone, is the PZ/Dawkins/Hitchens of that partiular world, which I am so unfamiliar with that I don’t even know what to call it without risking offence or overly exposing my own lack of knowledge.

  93. Steve says

    Over the weekend I am a-gonna Photoshop me up a picture of a cavemean riding that snake and send it to AiG.

  94. says

    This phenomena of gigantism was described in the Bible before actual fossil discoveries were made: Genesis 6:4 – “There were giants in the earth in those days…” (Click here for more descriptions of gigantism.) And don’t forget about leviathan and behemoth!

  95. DiscoveredJoys says

    Long haired dude with the stigmata: “Look, I’ve had to come all the way back to the genesis of the world to try and straighten out your mistake… give Adam the apple this time, not Eve.”

  96. Helioprogenus says

    Incidentally, you should all check out; if you want to have fun with this colorblind chaps wardrobe.

    Also, be sure to read the frothy, venomous, response letters by morons who are taking all of it a bit to seriously.

  97. Helioprogenus says

    oops, ignore the grammatical errors. Should have been “chap’s”, and “too seriously”. Must be the immigrant in me.

  98. kermit says

    Your scenario leads to the birth of True Science®, PZ. In the next panel Jesus gets eaten. In the third, 60 million years later, paleontologists find the fossils of Jesus in another titanoboa. This proves that not only was Jesus real, but that he performed miracles, for how else could he have traveled back in time? A new renaissance of science begins, and Creationists assume their rightful place in… crap, I can’t finish this.

    Isn’t he a little tall in this photo? The plaeoherpetologist said that titanoboa would be waist high when you stood near his middle. I hadn’t realized that Joshua ben Yahweh was that tall.

  99. DGKnipfer says

    Jebus, “Okay listen Tiamat, in a moment this naked girl is going to come down to the river. Don’t eat her.”

    Snake, “That’s gross Jebus. Have you seen what she was doing with Adam earlier?”

    Jebus, “Dad damn it, knock it off Tiamat. Just tell her about how good the fruit on that tree over there is.”

    Snake, “The one your dad said not to touch?”

    Jebus, “Yeah, that one.”

    Snake, “You’re going get me in trouble, Jebus.”

    Jebus, “Just do it for Dad’s sake. I’m going to hide over there and paint a picture of it.”

    Snake, “Okay Jebus, but only because it’s you.”

    Jebus, “Oh for my sake, lighten up. It’s just a joke. Dad isn’t going to get pissed or anything.”

  100. says

    The snake’s turned turtle, eyes X’ed, tongue hanging out, clearly dead. The robed dude, robe now torn and covered in blood, is praying next to a copy of The Joy of Cooking: “Hey Dad, Me, and Spooky, where’s that fecking recipe for bloody great snake?”