Who knew that water droplets suspended in the air could could refract light and produce a rainbow? It can’t be. Why, it must be…a government conspiracy! This never happened before!
You might also enjoy this collection of real church signs. My favorite is “A 4 inch tongue can bring a 6 foot man to his knees.” Sometimes, there is truth in these aphorisms.
Crystal Meth, one hell of a drug!
My favourite :
“How big is your Jesus? “
Um, I remember running through the sprinklers as a kid and seeing the rainbow then, and that was more than 20 years ago. How did this woman miss this her whole life? Is she simply retarded?
Holy shit! That’s unbelievable. Well, at least she’s asking questions instead of just simply trusting her government. Too bad she’s such an idiot though.
Indeed, always good to question everything…even if it does make you entertainment for the rest of us.
QUICK! CALL ALEX JONES!! OMG!
Damn the government’s never ending thrist for energy sources!
Oh that can’t be real! If it is, I would also like to know what is in her water.
“What is coming out of the ground?” Dumb gas, obvioulsy. She must have breathed a little.
The Spelling!! It Burns!
“Sacred cows make the best hamburger”
I don’t think it means what you think it means.
A 4 inch tongue can bring a 6 foot man to his knees.
Doing my part!
The physicists must be in on it! There’s no such thing as refraction! The men in black, they are coming! Aaaaaah!
On a slightly less delirious note, I’m having trouble deciding if this is more funny or more sad.
Prodominately?
I know I am the King of Typos™, but WTF
She’s lucky she noticed this when she did! Her body has very likely been contaminated by some unknown chemicals. To cleanse her body, I recommend that she go without water, or any liquids for that matter, for a minimum of seven days. That’s sure to get rid of our – er – her problem.
–TD6H10N2O4
Selling the Drama
Rev BigDumbChimp may have been deposed. Or you may have to make this woman your queen.
WTF?!!! Is this for real? It can’t be; right? No one is THAT crazy… Are they? Someone? Anyone…? Please…
I’d say, “You have to be kidding!” but, obviously, you’re not. What scares me is that she no doubt breeds and votes.
Yikes. Now right there is what nightmares are made of.
Thats a nice education system you got there :)
I wonder if she’ll notice and post here?
“God does not beleive in atheists therefore atheists fo not exist” – Sonny Manuel, pastor.
Priceless!
Huh? Why do we celebrate Christmas, then?
Actually just saw the video now,and that chick sounds like most of my customers who come to visit their friendly Emergency Dept.on a Friday nite at,say,230am…..
Anyones guess what she’s on,but it must have been powerful !!
“A loose tongue often gets into a tight place” Hallelujah! (actually you have to firm it up a bit).
Everyone knows there are a couple series of books that collect strange Church Sign Saying right? You can find them on Amazon. I have a couple that I pick up occasionally if I need quick grin. I actually started collecting a few of my own when I was driving around my home state taking nature photos.
“Stop drop and roll does not work in Hell” is one of my all time favorites.
BigDumbChimp – There’s a difference between a typo and actually thinking that plurals use apostrophes.
Religion?
What is wrong with our oxygen supply ?
The government put hydrogen in it!!!!
It’s that deadly stuff Dihydrogen Monoxide!
She’s playing with some very dangerous stuff there. I’ve seen it on the Intertubes, so it must be true.
Count the rainbows in this picture !
Church sign near my house:
“Love sees not through a microscope, but a telescope.”
I interpret this to mean that love does not search for
small imperfections, but does spy on you from across the
street.
It’s the leprechauns!
Sheesh!…Everyone knows garden hose rainbows are due to the chemical left by the ChemTrails!
In case you want to create your own sign there is always this site.
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/
Y’all have missed the true significance of these here “rainbows” showin’ up everywhere. It’s part of the secret gay agenda. First, they get us used to seeing rainbows all the time, then they try to slip gay marriage past us. See?
That and the increasing percentage of Soy and Tofu in our diet.
DAMN YOU HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA
*fist shake at the sky
Y’all have missed the true significance of these here “rainbows” showin’ up everywhere. It’s part of the secret gay agenda. First, they get us used to seeing rainbows all the time, then they try to slip gay marriage past us. See?
The University of Hawaii caught on several years ago.
I have a dear and highly intelligent friend with some psychiatric issues who, after a scotch or three, sounds just like this woman. She goes on and on about some conspiracy or other, citing “evidence” that is easily and rationally explained, but is so self-convinced that she doesn’t listen to a word that would contradict her. Don’t mix your meds with liquor kids!.
Lago (#3): What makes you think the gub’mint wasn’t putting rainbows in the sprinklers twenty-freakin’ years ago? This is a massive conspiracy the likes of which we can’t even begin to plumb the depths of thinking about!!!! It began during the cold war in the 50’s when our leaders heard them russkis were developing some sort of new sprinkler technology that would enslave the west. Someone on Eisenhower’s staff declared that we would not have a rainbow gap and, thus, a new multibillion dollar effort was begun that continues to this very day. You think Rainbird is just a sprinkler company, huh? I laugh at your ignorance!!
.
.
*erk*
Another Fuxtel viewer??
It’s good to know Ben Stein’s wife got her own movie. If only his had been this short.
“Christmas: Easier to spell than Hanukkha”.
Now THAT’s funny.
Doesn’t she know there is a pot of gold at the end of it? Talk about “easy money”, this woman is going to own the world!
What’s that oozing out of her head? Oh, unused brain. Never mind.
Ugh. She reminds me of my mother.
My alcoholic, conspiracy theorist mother. *shiver*
Mr President, We must not allow a sprinkler-head gap!
Near Camp Quest of MN, a church had this sign:
“Warning: Exposure to the Son May Prevent Burning”
Okay, so I figured I’d look up this “dboots” on the internet, and I think I found her:
Sounds like just about the right level of complete craziness.
“Everywhere we look, the visible spectrum is… rainbows.”
Well, that’s *kind of* right.
Her yard may be on a secret gay Indian burial ground.
Just like Wes I thought I would have a look for dboots as well, and found this: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=dbootsthediva&p=r
There are matches between the video here and some of the videos I sampled there. Same style of text in the video, references to HAARP and “Government Energy Sources”. Oh, and concerns about rainbows.
I wouldn’t recommend delving too deeply into any of the videos, but you should really check out the “The Moon a Mirror? 070408” video. It really is… Special…
@Steverino (#34):
Yup, ChemTrails are a problem for this lady as well.
And BDC (If I may call you that): If you thought Prodominately was bad, wait until you see the Holigrams in the video…
Didn’t anyone else notice that gravity got whacked-up, too? At one point in the video the world tilts by 90 degrees, but the effect was so subtle that the commentator apparently didn’t observe it. She was hypnotized by the rainbow. The earth is most likely spinning out of its orbit. We are so doomed!
I bet she thinks people are watching her! Well, she’s right. By posting her theories of conspiracies on t’interweb, she’s making people conspire against her. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy! Yay!
#50: 0.7 TC for the crazy lady.
On the church signs, is there something in the Bible that prohibits correct use of apostrophes?
The one that irks me is “Jesus is my Prozac.” My second wife had a schizoaffective disorder and absolutely had to have the stuff just to approach normality. We were both Christians at the time, and I gotta say that Jesus didn’t seem to help her at all.
This video needs to come with this warning sign:http://www.flickr.com/photos/87547772@N00/264113001/
An entire message board filled with clones of this lady?
http://www.freedomfchs.com/ffchsmessages/viewforum.php?f=13
This video needs to come with this warning sign: http://www.flickr.com/photos/87547772@N00/264113001/
She’s all OVER the interwebs. She likes to hunker down in forums like Greenpeace (shown above), “Open Minds” (a UFO site), and “Morgellons” (a forum of a disease invented by hypochondriacs). She’s wacko.
http://morgellonsgroup.proboards23.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=newcomers&thread=1937&page=1#7528
http://lucianarchy.proboards21.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ufotexas&thread=2340&page=25#91983
Is there something in the Bible that prohibits correct use of apostrophes?
Lev. 30:
Lo, it shall come to pass that the heathen shall rage at thee, and declare unto thee that apostrophes are to be used correctly and consistently. And not in the possessive form of its, only in the contraction of ‘it is’, after the s in plural possessive nouns that end with this letter, and before an appended s in singular possessive forms.
But the LORD thy god is one god and yet three, and thus is easily confused by plurals. Furthermore, he abhorreth such dicta, as, like many petty potentates, he was a poor speller, and flunked English. He therefore commands thee to strike at these vile and authoritarian grammarians with a random distribution of apostrophes in all written materials. Ye, even within words that are neither possessive nor plural, purely for visual effect.
Thus spake the LORD.
See also Lev. 28, on the correct rules for riding shotgun.
The sirens in the background add a nice emergency pink-slip vibe to this fascinating work of cinematic art.
My question is, how are you meant to interpret “A four-inch tongue can bring a six-foot man to his knees” if it’s _not_ an oral sex reference? I mean, seriously.
Church signs like that contribute to my constant urge to carry a set of Sharpies with me everywhere I go. I think “And that’s just the way we like it” would be a great addition to that “atheists” church sign…
For what it’s worth, Hannukah is dead easy to spell in Hebrew; you don’t even have to include all the vowels. ‘Course, there is that weird thing where you spell the ‘ah’ part ‘ha,’ but that’s just Hebrew having a loose vowel movement… :)
It’s rainbows all the way down? What happened to the turtles?
It’s a sign!
I just read this morning that they have the same problem in Soviet Canuckistan!
My question is, how are you meant to interpret “A four-inch tongue can bring a six-foot man to his knees” if it’s _not_ an oral sex reference? I mean, seriously.
I suspect it is a reference to a snake. I’m not sure, but I was wondering the same thing.
Owww! My brain hurts!
Satire?
Please say satire?!?
Another example of someone getting into something completely out of her field, but going on her “gut” instincts and intuitions to figure it out. She may or may not actually be crazy (if she’s doing multiple conspiracy theories and spending inordinate amounts of time on conspiracy forums the chances increase), but this kind of thinking isn’t uncommon.
Sometimes “they” really are putting “toxins” into your food and water. But usually “they” are not.
The least she could have done is look up “rainbows” in a good encyclopedia before she started spouting off about how they’re just not behaving naturally anymore. That kind of laziness isn’t uncommon, either.
By the way, did she do the titles herself? When I watched it I got the impression that they had been added on by pranksters later, complete with deliberate misspellings.
So here’s someone who learned how to use YouTube, but not Wikipedia. Here’s hoping she’ll stumble across “PZ destroys Simmonds in evolution debate.”
Wouldn’t they have said “cleft tongue” then?
Anyway, I actually like this one.
#64
I think it was supposed to be a clever comment on how words can affect a person… but that really isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.
I reckon we have a candidate for either a Poe award or the most profitable scam based on the “Dihydrogen Monoxide” scandal EVAR!
Louis
Snoof #64 wrote:
It’s a reference to the preacher, and preaching. His “tongue” (ie the words he speaks) can “bring you to your knees” (inspire you to worship God).
An ad gone bad. Or, maybe we worldly types all have filthy minds. Why, nobody at the church ever noticed it could be interpreted several ways (yeah, right).
This type of disturbing ignorance is exactly why I moved away from Northern CA.
The people there have nothing to do but get stoned.
In Delaware I saw a billboard on the property of a auto junkyard which said:
JESUS RECYCLES PEOPLE
WE RECYCLE CARS
I’m a bit dubious about the theology there…but ok.
“Okay, so I figured I’d look up this “dboots” on the internet, and I think I found her”
I think you missed this gem in her response to a comment:
“Church signs like that contribute to my constant urge to carry a set of Sharpies with me everywhere I go.”
You could also use the handy punctuation stickers provided by the excellent Lynne Truss in “Eats, Shoots & Leaves.”
That is by far the funniest thing I’ve seen on the internet in a long time. Thank FSM for collegehumor
someone get this woman a prism and a flashlight
This video should have a black screen at the end with the words Stay In School written across it.
Hey! Compare:
Church sign: “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather, published 1996: “Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
??
You win the thread.
Hope God is watching. Floods were in the news a lot last year. Hopefully, this will remind him not to kill us all again.
mikespeir @57,
The one that irks me is “Jesus is my Prozac.”
I have had serious, but fortunately infrequent, bouts with depression myself, so I understand your annoyance. Prozac didn’t help me — probably because I took sulpiride and cipralex instead — but Jesus didn’t either, even though I was still a Christian the next-to-last time it got me. (To be fair to the man, though, I never asked him to help, because if I remember the bible correctly he never held himself out as qualified in psychiatry or neurology.)
OTOH, “Jesus as prozac” would be a remarkably accurate updating of Marx’s famous “religion as opiate of the people”. In Marx’s day, opiates were viewed far more benignly than today — much more like prozac than like heroin. If you keep reading the passage in question, you see that Marx had a rather nuanced view of religion. He saw it as a genuine comfort to suffering people, if also a comfort based on false premises that helped The Man keep The People down.
I suppose it’s possible, mind you, that when the reverend who put up that sign paraphrased Marx, he did so inadvertently.
Next week her husband will be discussing the sapping and impurification of his precious bodily fluids by a Communist-lead fluoridation of the water supply.
People, people, people:
It’s not nice to make fun of the mentally ill.
What a maroon!
“Over the last few months others in my neighborhood have noticed that sound goes dead. I live 1 block off a major thrufare thru our town and every single day you can’t even hear the traffic.”
Did she not even listen to her own video? The sounds of the traffic are obvious, especially the ambulance that passed by.
If you turn off the sound and ignore the video’s frightening/depressing greater context, it’s really pretty.
[/Sam Harris glasses]
This video reminds me of the local-to-Portland jet contrail people.
they believe that because the jet contrails seem to hang in the air a certain way, it is proof that something odd/bad/etc is happening.
I do believe the next step in this process is these people end up lounging for hours in the greyhound bus terminal wearing a little tinfoil hat, and carrying several wal-mart bags full of trash.
I love the church sign that says “God does not believe in atheists therefore atheist do not exist”…
To bad atheists exist! That can only mean that there is NO GOD. Schweet!
The church signs made me think of the current one on the church at 31st & Madison in Manhattan — “‘STRESSED’ IS ‘DESSERTS’ BACKWARDS”. What are they trying to say? I have to pause and ponder that every day as I pass by. Jesus wants us to eat more pie? If it means I get more strawberry-rhubarb, maybe I’ll convert. On the other hand, if it means they’ll be trying to take my pie away (which would indeed make me stressed), well then, no thanks.
Nuts! This woman isn’t nuts. This woman is NUTS
http://www.milk.com/wall-o-shame/conspiracy.html
I have been know to bring some women, generally under 6 ft, to their…..oh wait, I assume this territory has already been covered.
#95 I see your raving conspiracy lunatic court case and raise you the personal website of a local Brisbane looney. Multi-coloured underlined bold caps abound.
http://haigreport.com/
Speak of the devil, she’s paranoid about that, too!
Paging Dr.Newton!
“We as a nation have to ask, ‘What the hell is goin’ on?'”
I’ll tell you what.
Lack of good education. That sure explains a shittonofalot.
Bartlettman #97:
Thanks a lot. That hurt the eyes as well as the brain.
Finally, a fitting wife for TIME CUBE.
Genesis 9:12 (or thereabouts):
“God made a covenant with Noah and promised that He would never destroy everything with a flood again. Then God placed a brilliantly colored rainbow across the sky.”
The rainbow in the lady’s sprinkler is an obvious sign from god that he will not let her lawn become flooded. Gub’ment, my ass!
@renee #101
Oh god no… could you imagine the children!?
that woman needs a fucking great clap about the head with a primary school science book!
It works well on us women too OMGOMGOMGYESYESYESAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH ;-)
Bananas have appeal.
Just saying…
@81: Just more confirmation. Now even prisims are making rainbows.
This poor lady is schizophrenic. No really, her writing is a classic example of the paranoia associated with this disorder. I hope she is cared for and on some meds.
Ah, the joys of a completely implausible conspiracy theory in the hands of paranoid schizophrenics.
The “shoddily-defined wireless energy is killing us!” thing is pretty popular over here, sadly; they call it “elektrosmog”. For instance, people will complain of being affected by mobile phone antennas in their area — whether they’re active or not. People who are otherwise quite sane, too. Want to make a lot of cash? Move to Europe and sell curtains with copper wires in them. Or whatever device you can sell to people to make them feel protected from imaginary threats.
What she’s posting though is in line with the people who are really, tragically, ill. There’s a level of crazy that she’s apparently just tapping into, like the people who think they’re being targeted ’round the clock with microwave weapons (which are apparently precise enough to target individual body parts and do not require massive amounts of energy to operate…). Since she’s starting on the “mysterious energy” now and is apparently looking for confirmation, I give her two to four weeks until she adopts that particular “theory” as well — by the magic of Google and the humble bulletin board.
Trying to explain it to her won’t do a bit of good, she’ll just perceive whoever or whatever does the explaining as “in on it”. I’m guessing illness, not stupidity.
One church sign right by my work actually made me a little scared. I wish I had gotten a photo of it. It said: “Don’t wait for six strong men to bring you to church.”
Pretty funny rainbow satire.
The church signs are cool!
This is true, i’ve seen these things before.
Are there any drugs that would cause a person to act like that?
My favourite church sign was outside our local Baptist ( who else?) church a few months back. Is said “God forgives All you sins- yes even THAT one!”.
Every paedophile, murderer, rapist and killer of small puppies who drove past no doubt drew a collective sigh of relief.
Bartlettman @ #97
That’s certifiable batshit-level crazy on that site.
“Must protect our vital national fluids!!!”
ZOMG! I was dying laughing watching that…nobody show this woman how a prism works or she’ll completely lose it. *giggle*.
I also remember the rainbow halo effect when I was a kid (over 20 years ago); My response at the time was along the lines of “Cool….!”, and I was lucky to have a science teacher dad with a prism and science text books to explain to me how it all worked.
“Tsunami–aids–war; Do you hear me now? – God”
God works for Verizon??
Must be all that Di-Hydrogen Monoxide in our water reacting with the electro-magnetic radiation in sunlight!!!!11!!!
OH NOESSS!!!1!!!ELeVEN!!!1!!!
Is this really for real or is this someone jerking our chain? Because if it’s for real there might be a reason to put lithium in her town’s water supply. THEN she’ll see interesting things in the sprinkler!
What is oozing out of our ground?
A better question would be;
What has happened to your education system over there???
As LisaJ said: Holy SHit!
I am “prodominately” amazed.
Reminds me of the idiot who was outraged at why the government was so wreckless as to schedule a total solar eclipse that could blind people.
“NOW THE NEW PHENOMENA IS THE RAINBOW’S NEAR THE GROUND…20 YEARS AGO WE NEVER NOTICED THESE RAINBOW EFFECTS SO PRODOMINATELY…I’m just wondering what the heck is in our water supply, what the heck is in our oxygen supply, um, of the metallic oxides salts that create a rainbow effect in a sprinkler. What is oozing out of our ground that allows this effect to happen? Not just around our sun and our moon anymore, everywhere we look the visible spectrum is rainbows…This cannot be natural…We all know it wasn’t sumthin’ that happened 20 years ago, but now it’s happening now…We as a nation have got to ask ourselves, ‘what the hell is going on?’ What is oozing out of our ground?…WE NEED TO RAISE OUR VOICES BEFORE, THEY TAKE AWAY OUR RIGHTS, OUR CONSTITUIONAL RIGHTS, OUR HUMAN RIGHTS, TO NOT BE GUINEA PIGS FOR OUR GOVERNMENTS, IN THEIR NEVER ENDING THRIST FOR ENERGY SOURCES.” [sic]
What’s “oozing out of the ground”? Well, aside from the water, it’s a level of ignorance that would have triggered gales of laughter in any of our ancestors a million years ago living near the spray of a waterfall who, though they may not have understood the why behind it any more than this deeply troubled lady, were at least intimately familiar with phenomenon as common as the daily rising of the sun…probably enough to understand that the appearance against the sky during a distant rain shower in the late afternoon or early morning and the regular apparition during midday near the spray had one and the same cause…and would never have characterized it as something that “surrounded” the sun or the moon, knowing the difference between rainbows and haloes.
Why? Because our ancestors could not afford to be anywhere near that stupid. They were careful observers – almost scientifically careful and discrminating – of the only thing that they COULD observe – their environment – because such care conferred a real survival value.
Naturally, the Sprinkler Lady blames her parent-handlers (“the government”) for her dilemma. “We need to raise our voices…not to be guinea pigs for our governments in their never ending thrist for energy sources”.
We all know that stupidity can descend to profound depths, but this poor lady is also scared shitless because her entire repertoire of knowledge comes from the mish-mash of her social environment: the likes of religion, TV soap operas and talk shows and attendant commercials. Not to mention the constant influx of imagery provided by the likes of, say, Fox News.
What a magnificent means we’ve established for informing people about stuff they “really need to know”. Our society has become a schizoid thing that values education almost exculively as a precondition for achieving the means of acquiring wealth, then views the resulting “consumer” population as a resource for corporate sustenance.
Yet, in a kind of tragic tour-de-force example of the consequence of millions of years of natural selection, her reptilian cortex still manages to rise to some bare minimum level of empathy and concern for her fellow beings.
I know people exactly like her. They haven’t a clue. And it’s not their fault. The poor thing actually knows something is wrong. She sees problems. She just never had the information to properly digest them. Who’s fault might that be?
I’m scared…………….
People like her probably vote and she obviously has access to the interweb, I bet she has every conspiracy site in existence in her bookmarks, wright next to Faux News.
I’m scared…………….
People like her probably vote and she obviously has access to the interweb, I bet she has every conspiracy site in existence in her bookmarks, wright next to Faux News.
posted the same spelling mistake twice
D’oh
HEY! Quit trying to elbow in on my territory.
i cant believe they didnt get that one about the 4in tongue
lolololol
then again creationists and fundies in general are usually clueless humorless gits
omg
un-f***ing-believable
then again i deal with creationists…most of them are that ignorant as well
rainbows in sprinkler water …good thing she didnt look down and see the iridescence of a gas droplet in a puddle after it rains
Hey hey hey, she may be onto something! Just last week I saw the ground-rainbow too! And then the night before last, someone was killed downtown in an ‘apparent’ drug related shootout. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! He saw the Rainbow and THEY had to silence him! I’ve been wearing my aluminum hat faithfully (Use pop cans and duck tape, regular aluminum foil isn’t thick enough) but it doesn’t seem to be working. I think they’re using their space-laser to give me Morgellon’s disease, as last night I was sitting in bed in my blue jeans and then my nuts started itching and when I examined them I noticed small blue fibres everywhere… Oh God I can’t go on.
Thanks P.z. Myers (sorry no z key, have to use copy and paste so can’t give your initials the capitalization they deserve) for making me laugh. (Longtime reader first time poster here.)