Thanks, Revere, for making me the point man.
I didn’t even mention the crazy people whose faith was rejuvenated by an imperfect potato. Although I would agree with your policy of agreeing with me.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Idaho nights.
God sure likes putting images of various holy people/things in food, doesn’t he? I guess that’s just because he has nothing better to do.
I want to believe that this is satire. I really do.
I think the worst part of the story isn’t the pareidolia. It’s the fact that she was praying about potato salad.
This… Ouch. This is too much.
Idaholatry.
I still say THIS image of Jesus is the one TRUE image.
http://13gb.com/media.php?media_id=2005
As long as gods are speaking in spuds, they should have mentioned that most of the potato’s nutritional value lies near/in the skin.
What results is merely potato salad for fruitcakes.
But the site of their savior in a potato has reinvigorated their faith and their desire to help others. (sic)
Jebus is living in a potato, then? Guess he got freaked out living in that heaven place with all those ghosts & things. And he’s kinda hung-up on that cross, eh! I’d’ve thought he’d try to forget about that.
Well, if Jesus is a potato, “This is my body. Take. Eat.” is waaaaaaaaay different. Well, something separates bread from potatoes…There has to be some profound mystical truth in there somewhere.
If only these people could find pictures of atoms or some sort of quantum equations. Then they would “convert” to science. Hmmm, maybe I should be stamping Agravado’s Constant on potatoes.
Unrelated point, but I was searching The Orlando Sentinels website for Evolution stories and came across some interesting although disturbing reads. However in one of the comments section I came across your blog. http://www.topix.net/forum/source/orlando-sentinel/TMO0SFVDB8KTQMORH hopefully the link works if not here is what’s said. Just to be clear, “i” did not write this:
Island said:
“You may also want to read
http://www.pandasthumb.org ”
While the comments and the point of the article may be correct, “Panda’s Thumb”,(like talk.origins and Pharyngula) is/(are) not a reliable source(s) for unbiased science, although they do a good job of spreading neodarwinian groupthink dogma concerning the debate.
A couple here in Maine found a potato shaped rather like a catchers mitt right as the Red Sox were heading into the playoffs. Clearly potatos are prophetic veggies.
If the jesus potato was used in the potato salad, it could have sat on the table for three days and then has a resurrection. I think in this case, the potato salad would have been good to eat again.
You know, if you were a divine and omnipotent being with a propensity who had a penchant for appearing to followers on food items, one would at least expect that you’d have the good sense to reveal yourself on a non-rotten potato.
Well, it ain’t starch…so it must be the Holy GLuten.
But DiscGrace, it is a prime example of the big sky daddy taking an evil, a rotten potato, and creating good, the blessed image of an executed man. Just do not try to reason this out, it is beyond our knowledge.
That would be Avogadro’s constant, right?
Agravado means to have made worse in Spanish.
Unless of course you are referring to someone who’s not happy about something and would like to stamp their constant on potatoes.
I mean Avogadro’s constant.
I think we should demand a full miracle and see if a Jesus can turn a potato into an avocado.
MAJeff, in order to do that, you would need Calvin’s Transmorgafication Box.
Well, Janine, Religion does often seem a lot like Calvinball.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/01/pareidolia.html
You say “potato”, and I say “Jesus”
You say “hey, wait–Oh, just look at the pieces!”
Right there in the bowl, he’s so wonderfully holy
Let’s call the guys at Fox!
You say “sandwich”, and I say “Mary”
You think it’s grand, which I think is just scary
But you need no urgin’ to see you a virgin
Let’s call the guys at Fox!
And Oh!–if we call the guys at Fox
We’ll make the news.
And Oh!–If we’re on the news,
There’s no way we can lose
So if you say “tortilla”, and I say “Jesus”
I promise I’ll see a real face in the cheeses
How lucky would we be, to be on the TV
Let’s call the guys at Fox–
Let’s call the guys at Fox!
“Lord if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.”
Funniest thing I’ve read all day.
So, you want those chili-cheese Freedom Fries with or without the Jesus?
It makes perfect sense that an omnipotent being supposedly able to create the universe and everything in it would be unable to communicate his existence to us except through images appearing in rotten potatoes, freeway underpass oil stains, and grilled cheese sandwiches. Perfect sense. If you’re completely fucking retarded.
They’re living in their own Private Idaho.
Lord thunderin’ Jesus in a rotten potato! (or Christ on a stick, or…) I think many religious people would be horrified by the thought that a religious message could be delivered in such a quotidian (not to mention foul) medium. Where are the protests, the howls of indignation? Is there no limit to how low God will go? Somehow even I imagine it would be beneath the dignity of a deity to reveal himself in a rotten vegetable…
That would be Avogadro’s constant, right?
Damnit, I knew I would screw up the name. I even checked the spelling, but must have had a bout of dislexia as I didn’t notice that I had completely messed it up.
Off topic: remember that Utah “family friendly” business that took R/PG-13/PG/Hard-G rated movies, edited all the naughty bits and swears out, and rented them to their good Christian customers? I’ll give you three guesses what the guy who owns the company was caught doing…
I’ll give you three guesses what the guy who owns the company was caught doing…
You know, for a while I joked about all the republican right-wing christian scandals, but for serious: Are they for real? I mean, does every single republican or fundie who has ever been in the news for any reason have some sort of secret or what? It seems totally unreal.
“Thompson told the 14-year-olds that his film sanitizing business was a cover for a pornography studio. He asked the girls if they would participate in making a porn movie, but they refused, the documents state.”
LOL. I wonder whether it actually was, or whether that was just a bit of inventiveness on his part? What a heel…
Hah! I found the Spud of Christ YEARS ago! I was even a part of the Jews for Spud synagogue! (And despite the dating of the Spud to 2000, He was actually with us from as early as 1998)
http://www.glenlachart.com/content/view/20/5/
Murder, rape, genocide…
And god is busy putting vague images on the inside of potatoes. Naturally.
I used to complain that fictional portrayals of the publicly religious too often used the lazy trope of hypocrisy. I used to argue that there surely were plenty of people in the public eye who had a genuine passionate belief in their principles, however misguided, and that they could not be dismissed as merely condemning in public what they did in private.
Now, I’m not so sure…
I’m going to open a frachise of ‘Spud-U-Worship’ there.
I’m going to open a frachise of ‘Spud-U-Worship’ there.
And naming the dishes could be so fun:
The stigmata: Served with ketchup.
Uh oh, no kosher: Served with bacon bits
The love of God: Served with sour cream
it’s endless.
stamp it on Avocadoes. more potential for ambiguity.
What an odd coincidence. I was just watching an episode of the BBC comedy drama “Jam and Jerusalem” which covered this very topic! Dawn French (of Vicar of Dibley fame) plays a “nutter” who finds a potato that looks like the face of Jesus.
Fortunately it’s on YouTube. The set up, which is a beautifully written scene between Rosie (Dawn French) and the local vicar where they discuss the hearing voices and getting signs from God (i.e. why is being hearing from God not a sign of madness?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI9kAZ5PTm4 starting at 1:40
Later Rosie is digging in her allotment (a small vegetable garden), find the potato and brings it to the church:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUS8cAaDr-8 starting at 8:50 and continuing into part 3.
“Crucifries”!
… and a few years later Scrofulum will be caught having illicit relations with Tater Tots.
the Bible says in the last days many will come claiming to be Jesus, and that even the Antichrist will claim to be the Son of God.
Is this Potato bearing the holy mark actually the antichrist?
Will this be the vegetable that leads demonic armies to crush Jerusalem!?
The people who make Veggie Tales are going to have a field day with that.
But how can you demonize Spuddy Buddy Christ?
Spud-U-Worship?
Would these guys be spreading the word?
And now some potato action that must be frowned upon. This unless the french fry and donut are married.
Why, yes, I am showing off my geek infested roots.
I saw Jesus in my cornflakes this morning. I have taken this to be a sign that not only do I not have to make potato salad today but I also don’t have to vacuum, make the beds, do any washing or attack the basket of ironing threatening me in the laundry. St Jesus of the Cornflakes, patron saint of lazy arsedness.
People don’t really want “the Ground of Being” or “Pure Actuality.” They don’t want “a substance consisting of infinite attributes, each of which expresses eternal and infinite essentiality.” They don’t want “a symbol of the mystery that lies between the poles of our clearest rational dichotomy.” And they certainly don’t want “a cosmic force beyond comprehension, beyond all categories, including good and evil.”
No, they want a God which will tell them whether or not to make potato salad, find their lost eyeglasses, help them with sickness and grief and parking spaces close to the mall. They want an omnipotent God capable of creating an entire universe with only a thought, but He manifests himself in vague images in rotten vegetables, so that they don’t feel too intimidated or anything.
Only a Real and True God could make Himself that small.
People don’t really want “the Ground of Being” or “Pure Actuality.” They don’t want “a substance consisting of infinite attributes, each of which expresses eternal and infinite essentiality.” They don’t want “a symbol of the mystery that lies between the poles of our clearest rational dichotomy.” And they certainly don’t want “a cosmic force beyond comprehension, beyond all categories, including good and evil.”
Even if they did, there seems to be very little of substance to any of these definitions. They all seem like Stein’s Oakland.
Proof positive Jesus has a peel to the rationally challenegd.
Sastra, OM, after thinking about what you said, I have come up with the ideal way to live the godly life. For every action that I have to choose to do, I will present it as a yes or no question to the big sky daddy. I will then flip a silver dollar. Big sky daddy will effect the coin flip. If it comes up “heads”, it will mean “yes”. If it comes up “tails”, it will mean “no”.
I will not have to do things like think for myself or have much knowledge of anything. All the actions that I do or do not take will have been approved by big sky daddy. Also, everything that I do will be ethical because I know I am doing his will.
Rational people may think that I am acting randomly. They will be mistaken. I will be acting in a manner that they cannot hope to understand. I will be living a truly purpose driven life.
This nonsense always makes me laugh. How do this nuts know that the image they are seeing in their potato, donut, toast, fried squirrel or garage wall is the image of Jesus or Mary or whoever? Did they have cellphone cameras 2000 years ago, back when Jesus was riding on a dinosaur?
Did they have cellphone cameras 2000 years ago, back when Jesus was riding on a dinosaur?
Yes, but Chuck Norris deleted all the photos.
Bride Of Shrek, thanks for that imagry. Now I am picturing Jesus singing the old Simon And Garfunkel song, “Punky’s Dilemma”.
I am also wondering if the corn flake becomes his flesh. If so, does the milk become his blood?
Before of after Chucky Baby killed every last dinosaur?
(I have always liked Chuck Barris more than Chuck Norris.)
If I make Pommes Dauphine, is it a sin?
Before of after Chucky Baby killed every last dinosaur?
His egg was the meteor that hit the Yucatan? Hmm, Chuck Norris=Super Mork.
Janine #47 wrote:
The more I think about it, the more “faith” can seem like cold reading, where on one end the “psychic” throws out vague, ambiguous, seemingly specific mystical insights (guesses), and the real work is then done on the other end, as the person being read tries to figure out a way to make the pronouncement fit their life. The more intelligent and creative you are, the more “signs” you will see. And the more you’ll get out of it.
There are Christians who use the Bible very much like your coin flip. There’s even a fancy word for it, but I can’t remember it right now. You think about a question or need you have, then open the Bible at random, to see God’s answer. It’s a interesting blend of mainstream religion with occult fortune-telling. I use to try it. And usually there’s some way to figure out some kind of answer from any passage or verse, by using a free-wheeling association of ideas.
Of course, to “sophisticated” believers, that’s supposed to be superstition. And seeing faces in a potato is superstition, too. But watching your life carefully to discern what God is putting in your path to guide you in your faith, oh, that’s very different. That part makes sense.
There’s never any there, there.
Janine #47 wrote:
The more I think about it, the more “faith” can seem like cold reading, where on one end the “psychic” throws out vague, ambiguous, seemingly specific mystical insights (guesses), and the real work is then done on the other end, as the person being read tries to figure out a way to make the pronouncement fit their life. The more intelligent and creative you are, the more “signs” you will see. And the more you’ll get out of it.
There are Christians who use the Bible very much like your coin flip. There’s even a fancy word for it, but I can’t remember it right now. You think about a question or need you have, then open the Bible at random, to see God’s answer. It’s a interesting blend of mainstream religion with occult fortune-telling. I use to try it. And usually there’s some way to figure out some kind of answer from any passage or verse, by using a free-wheeling association of ideas.
Of course, to “sophisticated” believers, that’s supposed to be superstition. And seeing faces in a potato is superstition, too. But watching your life carefully to discern what God is putting in your path to guide you in your faith, oh, that’s very different. That part makes sense.
There’s never any there, there.
Bibliomancy?
KJV Ching?
Ha! I just made up “bibliomancy,” but it turns out to be correct!
But I still prefer “KJV Ching.”
I asked God to give me a sign if I need to file taxes this year.
Then I made potato salad. No rotten potato.
So the IRS will not hear from me.
I just hope I don’t hear from the IRS.
I’m surprised no-one has posted this…
[and later]
[and later still]
#45 MAJeff,
Ben or Gertrude?
Someday I hope to find a potato that looks like jesus so I can post video of me dropping its slices into a deep fryer.
They all seem like Stein’s Oakland.”
Ben or Gertrude?
Gertrude’s Oakland is Ben’s intellect.
And I suppose I should add ethics to that as well.
What a strange, strange world the faithful live in. They buy into a belief system that includes miracles and prophecies and deities and outrageous world history, and then they are told that they must believe without evidence, that faith is the highest of virtues. Of course, all the evidence they actually need is the joy and peace within their hearts, but, well, you know, some real proof would be nice. A visit by a winged angel would rock, but a small gesture, a little wink and a nod from their invisible friend would suffice. Imagine their joy when God gives them a sign. Is that…is that Jesus in that stain on the wall? In that cloud formation? In that cheese toasty? In that rotten spot on that potato? Oh, Praise the Lord!! Proof that Jesus is everywhere, and everywhen, and is King of kings!
With confirmation like this, how can they not believe that God answers prayer, and has infinite compassion, and is all loving, and wants his children to worship him–and becomes angry if they don’t?
Praise the lord.
THREAD HIJACK :-)
I just got back (ok, a couple of hours ago) from the Hitchens v. Richards debate @ Stanford. I have to say that for a ‘scientific’ debate, Hitchens did much better than I expected. Also, while the moderator and host were both believers and the questions pulled for the broadcast Q&A session were from believers, the format was well suited to Hitchens and they let him run away with the time more than once. Hitchens was in fine form and seemed to be really enjoying himself (and sober! :-) Richards came off reasonably, seeming to me to be offering a “god of the gaps” style argument. He did much worse when he was asked by Hitchens if he believed in the Christian gobbly-gook like the virgin birth and resurrection and he said he did, without any reasonable explanation for how that could be possible given the laws of nature, just resorting to something along the lines of “if the laws are just based on the will of god, he can change his mind and impregnate virgins and raise people from the dead whenever he wants.”
I was surprised (due to the venue) by the number of theist supporters in the audience, but given the organizers, there must have been some effort to turn out the crowd.
Anyway, well worth the two hour drive, each way, especially since my sister picked up lunch and I got Mr. Hitchens to sign my copy of God Is Not Great.
Robert,
Richards? Wasn’t it supposed to be D’Souza, or am I completely confused?
oops…my bad…i was completely confused.
will it be on youtube?
I have an even more miraculous potato!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/skeletaldropkick/sets/72157603810151411/
You can see his noodly appendages for yourself!
You can see his noodly appendages for yourself!
Uh, that looks a lot more like the Invisible Pink Unicorn to me.
you’re both way off—that’s clearly a potato cthulhu!
This spud’s for you! Rutabaga, turnip or any of the other
inconsequential tubers, these morons can find religious
meaning in anything but excrement. Phony shits!
My brother got me a Darth Tater for the 25th of December ( probably in response to my getting him a pair of Spidey Web shooting gloves- sadly we’re 38 and 35- the childhood never stops).
http://www.onlinetoys.com.au/Mr-Potato-Head-Darth-Tater-pr-16594.html
Without doubt it shits all over Jesus Tater for entertainment value( and mine makes no commentary whatsoever on what salads I choose to prepare).
Stop it, you’ll give him a chip on his shoulder.
You’d think that holy persons appearing in potatoes would tend to be Buddha-shaped.
Mmmmm – Buddha, aaaaaaah.
MAJeff, not sure if it’ll make it to YouTube or not, but it it was broadcast live on “CCN” (Church Communication Network) http://www.ccn.tv/programming/event/evt_27jan08.htm
I may be a potato, but holy I ain’t.
It’s a whole new method of Transubstantiation.
Joke I saw attributed to Readers’ Digest:
The story I linked to above (#28) turns out not to be true. The person caught in the sex scandal had nothing to do with the family-friendly video company. It was someone who was misusing their name. Unfortunately the incorrect story was widely disseminated and the company, CleanFlicks, has gotten a lot of unfair negative publicity. Here is their website that sets the record straight:
http://www.freecleanflicks.com/
I apologize to CleanFlicks for helping to spread this story.