The Calamari Wrestler


A recent article on Deep Sea News mentions the Ritual of 365 Points—since this is such an important reference to cephalophiliacs, I thought I’d repost my summary of a classic movie that hinges on it as a plot point.

I have seen The Calamari Wrestler. It was…indescribable. I won’t even try. The basic idea, though, is that it’s about pro wrestling in Japan, with a dying wrestler who undergoes a magical transformation in Pakistan to keep him alive, which also allows him to become a super-star in the ring. He battles rivals to learn a heartwarming secret at the end.

I’ve put a few frames below the fold. Don’t try to view them as a narrative; this is a surreal movie about wrestling invertebrates.


I learned many new things from this movie. I’ll keep this in mind next time I wrestle an invertebrate.


I was wondering how a marine invertebrate was getting around so well in a wrestling ring.


There was a tragic moment. It turns out that if the squid has sex with a human and experiences true desire, it turns back into a human. (I think I saw this plotline on Buffy, once.) As you can see, he wants to turn back. Who can blame him?


Interestingly, his girlfriend was even more desperate to have him turn back. I’m afraid the movie was very vague on the bedroom details.


He is restored to his squidly form with the aid of some monks and the Ritual of 365 Points. Afterwards, his locker room smells very bad, but don’t blame the squid.


The Calamari Wrestler has to fight an octopus.


And a crustacean, the Squilla.


Victory means promotional work and Japanese cheesecake.


All I’ve got to say is that if they make a sequel, they need to take me on as a consultant. The answer to the question is “no”.

If anyone knows the details of the Ritual of 365 Points, please do send it on to me.


  1. Sean says

    This is your brain.

    That is your brain on Japanese.

    Not that it will stop me. I will see this movie. Then my wife will most likely beat me for making her watch a small portion before fleeing the room.

  2. says

    If you live in Minnesota you can go to your local library and ask them to have Minneapolis to send it to them. You’ll have to wait until I return it though.

  3. Eric Sherman says

    This movie is so damn funny, surreal and unbelievable! Me, my wife and 3 kids watched it last night and we could not stop laughing! It was highly melodramatic. The dialogue: way over the top absurd and to boot beautiful cinematic artistry. I am now trying to find ways to buy anything related to it. I found it on Netflix and I don’t think I will be returning it anytime soon!

  4. Colonel Molerat says

    This director (Minoru Kawasaki) has also made a film called ‘Executive Koala’, which leaves the cephalopods for more mammalian territory – a psychological horror about an executive who happens to be a koala. A koala who is also the chief suspect in a brutal murder.
    Brilliant all the way through, but the icing on the cake surely has to be the trans-species martial arts magic…
    And to return to the oceans once more, I hear that he has also made a film called Crab Goalkeeper…

  5. Colonel Molerat says

    And if you look under a rotting piece of wood, you may just find Kabut-O Beetle, about a wrestling stag beetle…