I posted a spoiler-free review of this trash a long while back. I promised a spoiler-filled “extended edition” review, but never delivered.

The reason?

I just don’t want to. The film still pisses me off (and that’s why this isn’t a Self Care post). I still get angry and want to go on cuss-filled rants thinking about it and thinking about what could, and should, have been.

The only reason I don’t want a reboot is because I want to see what Gal Gadot does with Wonder Woman. And that’s it. If anyone else was Wonder Woman, and wasn’t a huge fan of the character before playing her (as Gal has basically proven she was), then I’d maybe not feel so bad about a reboot. But she was just about the only bright spot in BvS, and I am genuinely looking forward to the Wonder Woman film (and getting as close as an atheist can to praying that WB leaves it alone and lets Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot bring their vision to the big screen).

And yeah, the first footage of Justice League released actually looks a tad promising, though that may be because my expectations for it are basically negative, so it would actually take almost too much to not reach them.

Oh… and I obviously don’t blame the actors for the problems with BvS, as I do think they all did the best they could with the drivel they were given. Given better stuff to work with (better scripts, better stories, better directors, etc), I think they could all actually do phenomenal jobs with their characters.

But… I did promise a spoiler-filled review. And I guess I have to deliver.

But because I really don’t want to write this, I’m taking a short cut. I’m just going to post four videos below that really explain my thoughts on this film a whole lot better than I ever could.

So…

Hold on!

Wait…

*reads that spoiler-free review again*

What. The. Fuck?

In that spoiler-free review, I was apparently quite a bit more positive about BvS than I am these days, saying this:

I’m going to end this review with my score. There was enough to like about this film that I feel comfortable giving it a 6 out 10. That, however, could change with the extended edition.

AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6 out of 10?

6 out of 10?!?

Fuck me, man. Was I stoned when I wrote that? And on what? That was way too high…

After seeing the extended edition twice…

Naw…

It’s more like a 3 out of 10 for me, with all 3 points being given to Gal Gadot, the acting in general, and the Batman warehouse fight scene. And it’s barely a 3 out of 10. That’s more… like… rounded up…

Okay… let’s get to the videos… (quick note: there is some ableism in these videos; which we’re not debating here, so don’t.)

Let’s start with two videos from CinemaSins.

Here’s them ripping apart the Theatrical Edition…

There is a mistake, though… they refer to the Jeep as Bruce’s personal vehicle, when that isn’t true. It’s obviously an emergency vehicle, and probably one owned by WayneCorp.

And here’s CinemaSins again… ripping apart the extended edition…

Following that up, here’s How Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Should Have Ended (from HISHE, obviously)…

And finally… here’s Screen Junkies’ BvS Honest Trailer…

For some balance, I’ll link to this video called Everything GREAT About Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice! from a channel called CinemaWins, which is obviously trying to be a positive version of CinemaSins, though it doesn’t appear to have any actual ties to the CinemaSins team. And I don’t agree with it… at all…

So yeah… 3 out of 10 from me…

(6 out of 10? I mean… what was I thinking? Gods damned optimism making me be unrealistic… yeesh! That’s actually embarrassing…)