The Trump Surrogate

He’s razor-sharp, or even keener,
Calm and cool is his demeanor;
Ranting “Neener, neener, neener!”
Never was his style;
Poised and thoughtful, his debating,
Never stoops to low berating,
Turns aside barbaric hating
Merely with a smile.
Logic is the tool he uses,
Striking when and where he chooses;
Quick and strong, he never loses–
Always wins the prize;
Ready for a rough-and-tumble
Sure of foot; he’ll never stumble.
Through it all, remaining humble…
Problem is, he lies.

Obviously, the pronouns can be switched out, depending on which Trump surrogate is speaking. And the verse does not capture the mile-a-minute pace at which some of the surrogates speak, denying anyone a pause in which to insert a differing opinion.

Full disclosure: this verse was originally, years ago, about a creationist spokesweasel.


  1. lorn says

    CNN is caught up in the myth of “both sides do it” and “both sides are equally wrong”. Both assumptions favor the side which is willing to be more extreme.

    If this sort of media organization reported on an arsonist coming to your door and asking to burn down your house it would report you as the extremist because the arsonist is willing to compromise whereas you completely reject any portion of your house being burned down. They would then trot out an expert as to why it is a major benefit for you, and the society as whole, for your house to burn.

    This sort of reporting normalizes extremism, BS, lies and causes political apathy and disengagement. All of which further enables the extremists. This is, in a nutshell, why I don’t watch CNN. Until they change their act, I never will.

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