He’s razor-sharp, or even keener,
Calm and cool is his demeanor;
Ranting “Neener, neener, neener!”
Never was his style;
Poised and thoughtful, his debating,
Never stoops to low berating,
Turns aside barbaric hating
Merely with a smile.
Logic is the tool he uses,
Striking when and where he chooses;
Quick and strong, he never loses–
Always wins the prize;
Ready for a rough-and-tumble
Sure of foot; he’ll never stumble.
Through it all, remaining humble…
Problem is, he lies.
Obviously, the pronouns can be switched out, depending on which Trump surrogate is speaking. And the verse does not capture the mile-a-minute pace at which some of the surrogates speak, denying anyone a pause in which to insert a differing opinion.
Full disclosure: this verse was originally, years ago, about a creationist spokesweasel.