Now the Granite State has seen a
Final ad from Fiorina
And they’ve said goodbye to Bush
And Cruz and Trump.
Kasich, Rubio and Christie
Fail to leave the state all misty
(As for them, they cannot wait
To leave this dump.)
So we’re done with stumps and rallies
All that’s left is taking tallies
In this small, white, state
(I mean, of course, the snow!)
And it isn’t even funny
Though we gladly take their money
How our favorite bit’s
The silence when they go!
That whooshing sound from the NorthEast is about sixtybajillion candidates, staffers, newsweasels, volunteers, spin doctors, sycophants, pollsters, pundits, pontificators and prognosticators leaving New Hampshire (leaving by the highway is quicker, so they’ll all pay up one last time at the toll booth) in a rush, as much to get the hell out of NH as to get to SC or NV.
The myth is that the NH voter is engaged, critical, thoughtful, and deserving of the privilege of having their vote count, practically speaking, 10X more than any other vote in the country. This has not been my observation, though. If they were, I suspect that Vermin Supreme would get more votes than, say, Ben Carson (alas, they are on different ballots this year).
But having their votes count more comes at a high price. Incessant ads, to the tune of millions of dollars, cannot be avoided, no matter how quick you are with a mute button. You develop a visceral, Pavlovian response to there mere sound of Rubio’s voice, or Trump’s saturated visage. At least this year the majority of the Dem ads have not been so blatantly negative. They still get the mute button, but they don’t spoil my coffee.
And tomorrow, it will be back to ads for medicines we don’t need, shows I won’t watch, and cars I can’t afford.
Bliss.
I heard an interesting bit on NPR the other day. One of the numbers people did a few spreadsheets on all the states in terms of race, income, education, religion, and I think political affiliation. The question was which state was the most average — which one best represented the country as a whole. The implication was that, if we have to have early primaries (and I do think it’s a good idea, just to let less affluent candidates have a chance to make a mark), then some state other than Iowa and New Hampshire might be a better pick.
For what it’s worth, the winner was Illinois. Urban vs. rural, for one thing.
A few years ago I heard of another study like that. Measure 27 variables for each state, plot 50 points in 27-dimensional space, find the geometric mean of the points. I have a friend who lives in West Virginia. I told him that, according to this study, the state that most closely resembled the country as a whole was Illinois. He said “That’s not surprising. It’s a very average state.” I continued that the state that was LEAST like the rest of the country was West Virginia. He said “That doesn’t surprise me either.”
… about sixtybajillion candidates, staffers, newsweasels, volunteers, spin doctors, sycophants, pollsters, pundits, pontificators and prognosticators …
With apologies to Bob Marley: