Have Yourself A Cuttlefishy Christmas

I am as busy as a very busy cuttlefish can be, but I see that people have been visiting the site looking for Christmas verses. So I have two things: first, one that is not complete, but was written because I was giving a final exam, and there were extra pieces of paper and #2 pencils, and I couldn’t help myself. It’s only three verses, prompted by Ed’s reporting that Bill O’Reilly has finally won the War Against Christmas.

Here’s to the War Against Christmas
Here’s to O’Reilly and friends
It’s more jingle-bellish
With every embellish-
ment; really, it’s hellish–
Oh when will it end?

Here’s to the War Agains Christmas
Here’s to the panic and fear!
The yelling and hating,
The trolling and baiting
It’s great for the ratings
For three months a year!

Here’s to the War Against Christmas
We’ll shout to our very last breath
They’re trying to please us
But really just tease us:
Saint Nick versus Jesus,
A fight to the death!

I’ll leave further verses to my commenters. I’m sure you’ll soon surpass these!

Second thing, though–Link to a collection of earlier verses, for a good cause.


  1. Johnny Vector says

    Here’s to the war against Christmas
    We see Bill-o grumble and bawl.
    Until Christmas eve he
    Is there on my TV.
    And I don’t believe he
    Believes it at all.

  2. CatMat says

    Here’s to the war against Christmas
    It’s all that the media sees
    As long as big O seeks
    More headlines, it still reeks
    Of onions, these few weeks
    will never see peace.

  3. David B. says

    Here’s to the war against Christmas
    It’s our privilege to holler and shout
    That the insensitivity
    To deny exclusivity
    To our plastic nativity
    Is terrorism, of that we’ve no doubt!

  4. David B. says

    Here’s to the war against Christmas
    Let us defend the majority creed
    Just one more week to go
    Of fake outrage and snow
    Then it’s on with the show
    And time to declare war against Eid!

  5. qwerty says

    Here’s to the war against Christmas!
    Sad that there’s no war on Lent
    That would give us more chances to vent.
    Against nonbelievers we’re overachievers;
    You could say this war’s heaven sent!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *