Every Christmas, all the churches would erect a little crèche
And they’d wash or paint the figures, for to keep the colors fresh
It was beautiful, and private, in the shadow of the steeple
But of course it made them wish they could display it to the people
So they put one by the courthouse, where it hadn’t been before,
And if anyone’s offended—this means war!

If the birth of Christ’s depiction gets a special public place
Then the constitution tells us that it has to share that space
So there might be a menorah, or a snowman, or a tree,
Cos if you can put your symbol there, the same applies to me
Till the courthouse is a meeting-place for holidays galore
Universal and inclusive—this means war!

Now the spirit of the season is expressed in giving gifts
It’s a secular occasion—not just Christian spirit lifts
You’ll find kids who write to Santa Claus, but now you have to search
For a solemn observation of Nativity in church
The people have forgotten what the holiday is for
And everyone loves Christmas—this means war!

After the jump, your one-stop source for all your war on christmas poetry needs:

The War Against Christmas Comes Early One of my favorites, contrasting the solemn observation of Christmas in early America with the modern celebration.

An Atheist’s Christmas Answers the question “why would an atheist want to celebrate Christmas?” Another favorite.

An Atheist Christmas Card Just a wee bit snarky. Mostly sweet. Historically accurate.

Another Atheist Christmas Card Weapons-grade glurge, but I’ve already had some people tell me this one is their favorite.

‘Tis The Season This year’s earlier offering. It’s actually a song, if only I were a singer.

The War On Christmas, Explained Blunt, for those who are unclear on the concept. Not terribly poetic, though.

It’s Tough To Be Christian (When Christmastime Comes) A lament. It’s always nice to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.