Everything Is Upside Down, Down Under

When life gives you lemons, the old-timers warn,
And everything starts to look sour,
Just make lemonade! This is no time to mourn,
But a time to start “Church Happy Hour”!
From ten to eleven, on Saturday night,
Half off blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
Come knock off a chalice of red or of white,
While the sacrament’s reasonably priced!
There are pretzels and chips at the pew, in a dish,
For the church-going Happy Hour snacker,
Or the Flesh Of Our Savior, if that is your wish,
For the folks who want more than a cracker
It’s the hippest of hippest, the best place I know
Where believers can mingle or meet–
But this weekend, I’m thinking It’s safer to go
To the topless church, just down the street!

The news from Australia: More crimes committed in churches than in strip clubs.

A breakdown of the figures showed that 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises.

According to the report, places of worship include churches, synagogues, monasteries, mosques, convents, cathedrals and chapels.

Premises listed under adult entertainment included strip clubs, sex shops, brothels, massage parlours, homosexual clubs, gaming houses as well as gambling clubs.

Places of worship were also ahead on sexual offences (16), theft from motor vehicles (33), resisting arrest (seven) and liquor offences (10).

Harassment and threatening behaviour at places of worship (30) was more than double that of adult entertainment (13).

Cuttlecap tip to PZ


  1. says

    Perhaps it's not the Church, per se,That is the cause of crimes–But the people who attend the church,The ones who give it dimes.Jesus said to love not hateNor ostracize, dismiss,But the people that walk through those doorsAren't perfect, we're amiss.Though science proves what we can seeFaith isn't based on fiction;Your rhymes are good my poet friendSo please excuse my diction.There will be crimes, there will be sinBoth in the church and out,And I won't bash your Atheist waysEven if I am devout.I know you don't agree with meBut all people make mistakes–Don't disregard the other half,The ones that are not snakes!You need to see the larger viewOf what the Bible says:It's not about what we don't doBut rather what Grace is.Turn your eyes, ignore my words,Delete this if you wish,But God is Love, and Love is good,My dear old Cuttlefish.

  2. says

    My dear an0nytron, I would not dream of deleting your wonderful comment! Believers are, of course, more than welcome here! I was once one, myself, you know. So, welcome, and thanks, and I may respond more fully by and by…

  3. says

    Ah, but Dave/Dennis, I *do* have an answer to death.We die. We all die.And the ones whom we loveWon't be waiting to see usIn heaven above.They live in our memories,They live in our dreams,But that's not enoughFor some people, it seems.Some people would ratherBelieve in a lieThan admit that the truth isLife ends when you die.More precious than diamonds,More precious than rhyme (!!)Our limited resource,While living, is time.It can't be replenishedOnce over and done;Live life to the fullest…You only get one.

  4. says

    David/Dennis, dear… Ignoring an answer does not make it disappear. I *do* have an answer. You, however, have a fairy tale you take out and pretend is an answer. I'm sure it's as much fun to play make-believe today as it was when you were a child, but it seems to me I read somewhere about when you become a man, you put away childish things. Oh, wait, that's from your bible! Never mind, then, feel free to ignore it.

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