The economy is in the ditch, but the Templeton Foundation keeps handing out money in units of a million to finance “research” into various wings of religion.
Millions of people fervently believe in an afterlife. John Martin Fischer, a philosopher at the University of California at Riverside, is not one of them.
But Mr. Fischer does see the subject as ripe for academic research, and on Tuesday the John Templeton Foundation awarded him a windfall to make that happen—$5-million for a multidisciplinary investigation of human immortality.
It’s a great pity that atheism has no Templeton Foundation. I wouldn’t mind being handed 5 million bucks to investigate secular ethics or the roots of sexism or where to find the best gelato.
The Immortality Project will invite research proposals from philosophers, theologians, and scientists. Stressing interdisciplinary projects, it will award grants ranging from $100,000 to $250,000. There will also be two conferences and a Web site.
Research proposals from philosophers, theologians, and scientists. Why theologians? Since when do theologians do research? I understand how historians of religion and biblical scholars can do research, but how can theologians? How do you do research into something that is spiritual, metaphysical, not there to be investigated?
Can I have a grant to look into it?
We did come across a nice kosher place in NYC.
The hell you are.
I wish I had the Brooklyn Bridge to sell to the Templeton Foundation…
I can’t take this research subject seriously. It’s completely ridiculous that a study such as this could be given $5,000,000 to work with.
There aren’t even any crystals involved. I propose to the Templeton Foundation that if we duct tape some crystals to the hearts of various people, the healing energy they radiate will impregnate the blood vessels, which are pumped around the body and radiate the whole thing via a process I call “healesence”. With such constant exposure to the life-nourishing rays of crystals – which have not been 100% scientifically proven to not exist or have wholly un-useful effects if they didn’t not exist – genuine human immortality will likely result.
I can haz munny Templeton Foundation?
Who wants pregnant blood vessels? Will these blood vessels be able to obtain abortions on demand? Will the healing energy pay child support if the blood vessels carry the pregnancy to term? These are important questions which remain unanswered.
Yeah, all that stuff is totally in the research guidelines, probably. I’m sure I can wrangle up a crack team of aromatherapists, philatelists and celebrity chefs to find out the answers to them too. Oooo and maybe a biologist or a doctor or something. Maybe. Depends if I have anything left in the budget after I’ve bought all the important things like the 44 bedroom mansion and the fleet of yachts that are also completely necessary.
Well I’d certainly take the 5 megabucks…..but fuck handing out grants, organizing conferences and the website nonsense. What do they think I am?
“But Mr. Fischer does see the subject as ripe for academic research. . . ”
-I can be bought. John Martin Fischer, PhD
Time to dust off that theology degree… 😉
I don’t think there’s any shortage of good causes that US$5M could benefit. Project Beagle springs to mind. Some even more deserving, no doubt.
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If I had $5 million available to hand out, I certainly wouldn’t waste it studying an afterlife. How the hell do you study afterlife, anyway? It’s all anecdotal, at best…and how much does it really take to round up a handful of Jesus says bible verses and say, See? It’s all right there!
When I think of the problems in this country with health care, with education funding, with unemployment, with people going hungry, with racism, sexism, and child molestation…just for starters…it makes me nauseated that he could waste his money.
And, because they waste their money in this way, some of us have to spend a lot of money fighting the encroachment of religion, money we’d rather add to our yearly donation to the foodbank or doctor’s without borders.
Not necessarily. If Templeton offered me $5m to carry out similar research (ignoring the fact that I have zero qualifications for it) I’d bite their hand off, because that’s $5m that’s not going to go into a goddist’s pocket and it’s fairly evident that all the data – such as it is – is going to fall on our side.
Here someone who knows how to spend his money wisely:
http://www.nature.com/news/theoretical-physicists-win-massive-awards-1.11094
Michael