White House to alien conspiracy theorists: there are no hidden aliens


Foolish humans! Responding a petition from UFO nuts, the White House as issued a statement that there are no aliens, as far as they know, in Area 51 or anywhere else:

In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye. However, that doesn’t mean the subject of life outside our planet isn’t being discussed or explored.”

Not that that will end the claims of hidden aliens meddling in our race or governmental affairs. … I mean what else would a government compromised by Grays say?

Comments

  1. fastlane says

    See, the whole government is in on the conspiracy!

    You knew that was coming, didn’t you? Just proves you’re part of the Illuminati. *puts tinfoil hat back on*

  2. Jer says

    Ah – the Roswell New Mexico Full Employment Initiative is proceeding apace I see. We wouldn’t want to leave the folks of Roswell unemployed, so it’s good to see the government do its part by denying the existence of aliens. And thereby continuing to provide evidence that the government is lying, since CLEARLY the idea that there was no alien crash in Roswell is a ludicrous idea that bears no examination…

  3. says

    Of course the Obama administration would say that. He’s jsut covering up for the illegal aliens and the mind control technology they used to help him pose as an American all these years.

  4. RealityBasedSteve says

    You notice that they very carefully word their statement to only apply to what they refer to as ‘credible proof’. Of course we all know that means that they are sitting on a vast pool of ‘incredible proof’ that they won’t release. The conspiracy goes farther than you can imagine, I suspect that it includes rouge elements of the PGA tour, working in conjunction with the Odd Fellows Lodge all under the shadowy umbrella of the Ronco Corporation.

    Steve
    Who has WAY too much time on his hands today

  5. elronxenu says

    This sounds like legalese to me. “You have no evidence that we are hiding anything” is not equivalent to “we are not hiding anything”.

    I don’t think the U.S. Government, or anybody else for that matter, is covering up aliens. I’m just pointing out the weaselly way they said it. Can nobody speak plainly any more?

  6. says

    I can’t believe I used to believe in aliens and Draconians™…

    Oh what a foolish squid I’ve been.

    I also used to believe that a country was run by its’ government, but hey… Apparently I was wrong about that too!

    Crazy world we’re living in. At least there are boobs ^^

  7. says

    Of course Obama would say that. He doesn’t want people to know he was born in Alpha Centauri. That’s why he’s helping the aliens to take over our society through socialised medicine. His mother was a Bene Gesserit and his father was a Fremen. It’s all there on his birth certificate.

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