What rude beast…


We have been fostering a cat for Stevens Community Humane Society for a while, and my wife finally insisted that we adopt the beast. A black cat. And we signed the papers on Halloween. This is an ill omen.

And then I tried to take her picture tonight, but she didn’t want to hold still, and it was dark, and I had to use the flash, and she tried to zap me with her death ray eyes.

evilcat

We’re doomed.

Comments

  1. says

    Kitteh is awesome!
    You’re lucky PZ. I usually catch my kitties with the cliched laser vision red eyes.
    Speaking of lasers, if you don’t have one, I recommend buying a laser pointer. Cats *love* them. I’ve spent many a night with the lights out playing with the laser pointer and watching my cats frantically trying to catch it (it works on my dogs too).

  2. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    And then I tried to take her picture tonight, but she didn’t want to hold still, and it was dark, and I had to use the flash, and she tried to zap me with her death ray eyes.

    Yep, that’s a cat, pretending to be more potent than they are. But Trophy Wives? Irresistible forces….yes dear….

  3. geekysteve says

    Yup, you’re doomed to a life of servitude and being under appreciated.

    But you’ll survive — it’s a lot like being a teacher.

  4. Lyn M: G.R.O.S.T. (ADM) -- Membership pending says

    Daz #8

    Just be glad she didn’t use both eyes. You’d now be trapped in another dimension, living on spam sandwiches and lager.

    And the downside?

  5. Golgafrinchan Captain says

    I’d like to add a note to be cautious if introducing a laser pointer with cats. I had used a laser many times with cats and dogs until I met one cat that got really messed in the head over it. He kept obsessively looking for the dot for about two days straight, and intermittently for some time after that. My girlfriend and I were rather concerned.

    I’ve never seen evidence of harm any other time I had used a laser pointer with a cat or dog, and it’s something I’ve done a lot of (mostly before the ‘incident’). I’ve read some opinions that laser pointers may be negative due to the lack of predator satisfaction from never physically catching the dot. This sounds plausible but I couldn’t find any actual research anywhere.

    I still do sometimes use lights to play with pets but I’m careful to limit the time, include something they can actually catch, and involve more senses than just vision.

  6. gijoel says

    Wasn’t this the beast that cut communications at the Myers compound last year? Are you sure you want to adopt a furry serial killer?

  7. Alverant says

    Thanks for adopting her. She’s adorable and from the other pictures it’s clear she’s bonded with you. I adopted my foster kitten too. It was on her first birthday. She’s mostly black so she didn’t photograph well plus she hated being near strange cats. No one else wanted her and she was so happy to be living with me. Admit it, you love her too.

  8. says

    Chas might be on to something. That image could be faked; a way for PZ to improve his image. After all, according to his detractors, PZ’s popularity is tanking.

    That, or he’s doing it for the blog hits.

  9. toska says

    I can only get good pictures of my cats if they are sleeping. They are quick little buggers . . .

    PZ, after much praise, your kitty may allow you to use the deathray for your evil feminazi world domination schemes :P

  10. A. Noyd says

    Holy shit, that is the most intense case of laser eyes I’ve ever seen. By several orders of magnitude.

  11. estraven says

    Excellent! I have two black cats and a long-haired tabby. The spouse only came to fully appreciate them after he retired and spent more time around them. You will need paper bags and cardboard boxes . . .

  12. Lofty says

    This animal has spent the entire summer soaking up solar energy. If you place it on your lap it will be like your personal nuclear reactor. Wear thick trousers and sun glasses to avoid injury. Otherwise you may feel sharp claws with the penetrating power of gamma rays. Dangle a spare cephalopod tentacle off a long stick with a piece of string and wave it away from you to avoid the deadly gaze from scorching your beard. Regular rumbling noises from the reactor core indicate stable operation. Please also note that a regular slow movement of your hands on the dorsal surface of the reactor chamber may reduce your heart rate.

  13. opposablethumbs says

    Best cat photo ever. Ever ever ever.

    But where are the other seven tentacles? I can only see one.

  14. msadesign says

    Thanks for doing that doing the Humane Society thing, PZ; we do it here in Naples (FL), adopting baby baby kittehs who haven’t developed death-ray eyes yet. All terminally cute, I promise.

    It’s very seasonal here; in the summer there just aren’t enough volunteers, especially for new intake babies (although we do have a shiny new building that is a marvel, thanks to all the $$$ here). Sometimes we get 5 or 6 kittens at a time, all just 2 weeks old. You think bottle feeding human babies is a pain? How about kittens? The little assholes want the bottle constantly. And “oh, hey! did you see these magic things at the end of all of our feet? No shit! We can climb up stuff!” They figure out stuff quickly.

    We take them back to the Humane Society at 6 weeks, fully acclimated to people, having been constantly held and fondled; every one of them is adopted (it’s a no-kill shelter). We don’t have to tell them they will rule the world. They already know that, somehow.

    Oh. And yes, we’ve adopted several, but with seven in the house/grounds we are doing our part. Yes, you fall in love with them. All of the little shit heads.

    I wrote about the passing of one of them here:
    http://www.msadesign.com/design_is_not_opinion/2012/08/a-eulogy-for-yy.html

    Thanks for doing your part. Keep more of them! I have some great tips for keeping a multitude of litter pans clean.

  15. says

    Mary is talking about maybe fostering another cat with this one, but I don’t think it will work. Evil cat was a stray, and was rather frantic and antic and touchy when she was brought in, and was quickly fostered out because she didn’t play well with others. When the nice lady came by with the papers to sign, she was torn between curiosity and shredding — the cat hissed at her while edging forward. She also reacted the same way to the one group of trick-or-treaters that stopped by.

    We have detente at our house — there is a mutual recognition of our abiding evilness, and we glare sullenly at each other, knowing that one of us will make our move to conquer the world, and whoever goes first will be challenged by the other — but I think another cat would provoke all out war.

  16. Johnny Vector says

    Am I the only one who glanced at that first line and thought you had adopted Cat Stevens?

    It’s possible I’m short on sleep.

  17. Ichthyic says

    Am I the only one who glanced at that first line and thought you had adopted Cat Stevens?

    oddly, nope. I saw the words “Cat Stevens” before I fully parsed the sentence as well.

  18. Athywren says

    Am I the only one who glanced at that first line and thought you had adopted Cat Stevens?

    oddly, nope. I saw the words “Cat Stevens” before I fully parsed the sentence as well.

    Ditto, but I think that’s fine because it’s not time to make a change.

  19. msadesign says

    PZ: Mary is right and I love it when you are wrong :-). When I cat behaves like that it has been abused or just had a very hard life. Time heals them. And a gentle hand.

  20. blf says

    Phaaaash! A mere triviality. Yer cheeseboard is doomed, DOOMED!, I snarl, whenever the mildly deranged penguin decides to show up again. In the meantime, the cheeses will be covered in catwitchy hairsballs — utterly useless for or against trebuchet-launched cat flying lessons.

    (And the zebrafishies and other Krakens are not impressed you have a fishy / squidy / birdy devourer in your household.)

  21. says

    toska @24:

    I can only get good pictures of my cats if they are sleeping. They are quick little buggers . . .

    There was this one time I had the idea to take a pic with both my dogs and both my cats. It didn’t take long for me to realize what a dumb idea that was.

  22. says

    Lofty @30:

    This animal has spent the entire summer soaking up solar energy

    I wonder if PZ realizes he’s adopted a Kryptonian feline…

    ****

    msadesign @35:

    Thanks for doing your part. Keep more of them! I have some great tips for keeping a multitude of litter pans clean.

    Oooh, I’m curious about these tips.

  23. Funny Diva says

    Chigau: I nicknamed my kitteh “Brimstone Beast” ages ago (she came with a name*, which she knows/responds to, and I didn’t think it fair to ask an 8-year-old kitteh to take on a different name ).

    And I agree that a companion cat is not necessarily a good idea–you’ve got to take into account the per-I-mean PurrSonality of the kitteh-in-residence. Some just want to be Only Cats.

    * that name is “Honey”**. Yes, “Honey”. _I_ didn’t name her that, OK?!!!
    ** that is only her _name_. Not her personality…only one of her minor personalities. The others being “I HATE YOU, MOM!” and “KILL ALL NON-MOM INTERLOPERS!!!”

  24. Lady Mondegreen (aka Stacy) says

    Congratulations, Satanique! (That was her name, wasn’t it?) Keep the Overlord in line.

  25. Denverly says

    I have five of them, four of them were rescued. One was grandma’s cat that I couldn’t bear to let go to the pound when she passed away. Grandma was awesome. She named the cat Tweety. So, Mulder, Tweety, Baby Girl, The Tick, and Spoon all approve of PZ being finally adopted. Congratulations.

  26. chigau (違う) says

    I missed the timing on asking,
    “Why was the lady with the paperwork torn between curiosity and shredding”?

  27. loopyj says

    PZ,
    Congratulations on being permanently adopted by the black, plushy evil one! As a low-tech and completely safe alternative to the torturous red dot laser, I recommend the classic Cat Dancer – The Action Cat Toy (for Action Cats!). It was my late cat’s favourite toy, and is ideal for use with a single cat (with multiple cats things can get a bit harried and confusing).

  28. loopyj says

    Oh, and the evil one might take more kindly to a young kitten foster rather than another grown cat. Usually adult cats, even very solitary ones, adjust more easily to a pesky kitten who wants only to love them and their care-taking instincts kick in. My two younger cats each arrived as kittens and, in turn, they were hissed at by one of my older boys for a few days and then he fell madly in love with them and the snuggle-fests began.

  29. Jacob Schmidt says

    We have detente at our house — there is a mutual recognition of our abiding evilness, and we glare sullenly at each other, knowing that one of us will make our move to conquer the world, and whoever goes first will be challenged by the other — but I think another cat would provoke all out war.

    Heh. My old cat (Tippy) was fiercely territorial. We had to lock her away when other cats were brought in for any reason, because she would attack them. My neighbour’s cat was a bit too curious for his own good, and would sit on the other end of the screen door while Tippy would hiss and scratch, trying to get through and maul the intruder.

    Interestingly, my cat didn’t much care about proximity to the house: it didn’t much matter if other cats were on our neighbour’s lawn, even if it was almost at our front door. But being on the far edge of our lawn was grounds for a ten second warning followed by an attack. She apparently knew the geometry of our property, and was only interested in defending that specific shape. The only cats I remember her tolerating were her own kids. Even they, once grown up, just got the cold shoulder, and a swipe in the face if they got too close.

    She had no problems with the dog, or people. She wasn’t particularly affectionate, though she was deeply worried about all those abandoned socks we left in the basement.

  30. Karen Locke says

    Mary, Queen of the Universe says it’s good to adopt cats. and why am I not playing with her? Oh, and remind your cat that Mary is the Queen of all cats. Paddy doesn’t have a comment, he’s sleeping.

  31. tinkerer says

    PZ @37

    Mary is talking about maybe fostering another cat with this one, but I don’t think it will work

    You may well be right. There’s a recent BBC Horizon series in 3 parts about domestic cats and their behaviour:

    Cat Watch 2014: The New Horizon Experiment
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04lcqvq – (I don’t know whether it’s viewable yet in the US)

    It tracks and films cats going about their daily lives in different environments, urban and country, and explains a bit about cat psychology. Multiple cats can get on well but it depends on such things as their early upbringing, their individual personalities, whether they’re siblings, whether they manage to come to a mutally agreeable arrangement over territory etc.

    Anecdote: Our neighbour has three cats, two of which get on OK, but the third one is not at all happy living with the other two and spends most of her time with us. She’s very affectionate and loves being with people and before we started to let her in she would wander a lot, sometimes following random strangers and disappearing for days. She has a collar with a phone number and our neighbour would get calls that her cat had been found wandering miles away and wanting to make friends. After she semi-adopted us and had her own secure territory she stopped wandering and appears very contented. Now she mainly goes “home” just for meals.

  32. rq says

    Laser eyes? Pfff.
    If it sticks around long enough at the PZ residence, I want to see photos of all the tentacles it’ll be sprouting.