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Jan 04 2012

Santorum will tell you how and when you can have sex

He’s a very creepy man. His wife had an abortion to save her life, but he wants to criminalize your abortion. And that’s not all: sex is supposed to be procreative, so he wants to criminalize contraception. In this long painful video, he preaches against gay sex, against contraception, and says we ought to be urging families to have many more children, and thinks a tax deduction of $20,000 per child is reasonable.

So “contraception is a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to the way things are supposed to be”. Woo hoo! I love that license! I don’t think I want to vote for a guy who’d take it away.

Bonus! Santorum also thinks most scientists are amoral.

I have to say, he’s doing a terrible job of campaigning for my vote.

137 comments

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  1. 1
    Glen Davidson

    Then there’s always this beauty:

    Well maybe the science points to the fact that maybe science doesn’t explain all these things. And if it does point to that, then why don’t you pursue that? But you can’t, because it’s not science, but if science is pointing you there how can you say it’s not science? It’s worth the debate.

    Science doesn’t “maybe” point to any of those hideous lies. If it did, that would be science, but it doesn’t. There is no indication of rationality in the “creation” of life at all, only of blind derivation with modification, including “natural seleciton.”

    A bunch of ridiculous nonsense and “maybes” that should be called “noes” deserves no debate, only denunciation for the idiotic theocratic BS that it is.

    Glen Davidson

  2. 2
    'Tis Himself

    Santorum is immortalized as a figure of speech:

    The sometimes frothy, usually slimy, amalgam of lubricant, stray fecal matter, and ejaculate that leaks out of the receiving partner’s anus after a session of anal intercourse. Named, by popular demand and usage, after legislator Rick Santorum because of his homophobic political statements.

  3. 3
    celtlen

    I think it’s fine politically. People who enjoy sex for purposes other than procreation are a tiny constituency. He should now come out against those who enjoy eating and drinking for purposes other than survival. Those bastards have been getting easy for far too long!!

  4. 4
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    I want to punch him in the face. Hard.
    [Don't do that people. I'm not advocating violence. But Jeesus, he's making me mad.]

  5. 5
    Russell

    As a lawyer, Santorum represented the World Wrestling Federation, famously arguing that professional wrestling should be exempt from federal anabolic steroid regulations because it was not a sport.

    It is a comfort to know that as long as it isn’t made into soccer balls, the world will be safe for recreational plutonium smuggling.

  6. 6
    otrame

    Do we have to send him letters, outlining what we want to do sexually and asking explicit permission, or is he going to provide us with a manual of dos and don’ts?

  7. 7
    satanaugustine

    To all:

    Be sure to visit http://spreadingsantorum.com/ frequently. More site visits = spreading santorum being the first site that pops up when anyone googles “Santorum.”

    Visit it often. Visit it frequently. Visit it NOW!

    Oh, it also has up to date stories on Ol Frothy in case you’re interested.

  8. 8
    jjgdenisrobert

    I’m always shocked (though frankly I should be used to it by now) at how fundies always define morality exclusively in terms of sex. Lying, Fraud? No problem (their leaders do it all the time). Violence? (Anyone see “Passion of the Christ”?) No problem. Child abuse? Bring it on (spare the rod and all that crap).

    But sex, that’s where they draw the line.

    Yeah sure. Very moral.

  9. 9
    Blondin

    People who enjoy sex for purposes other than procreation are a tiny constituency.

    Shirley, you’re joking!?

  10. 10
    Renolds

    He also thinks the NHS brought down the British Empire
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/9671217.stm

  11. 11
    Sili

    $20k per child born or per child raised?

    The latter doesn’t usually worry the Republans. And – Heaven forfend – gays can raise kids.

    And we can’t have that. Santorum’s gay friends tell him they support him for his family values after all.

    Hmmm – does that mean that Santorum’s famous family values are $20k/kid? Bit low, I’d think.

  12. 12
    Aquaria

    $20k per child born or per child raised?

    Rick and all the other republislime are thinking about the tax deductions so they don’t have to pay anything on their filthy lucre.

    $20K X 10 kids = $200,000 lopped off their tax bill, after all, and Uncle Sam would have to pay them for a change, on top of all the fed and state freebies they’re already lapping up. You’d be amazed how many of these massive families are on SSI, SDI, welfare and hogging up charitable dollars. That’s just about the only way any of them stay afloat.

    But better them gettin’ that moolah than a bunch of lazy liberals, feminists, atheists, Jews, and assorted brown Americans. And the French.

  13. 13
    humanape

    Virtually all Republican politicians are as stupid as Santorum but there are rare exceptions, for example Barry Goldwater in 1964 and Jon Huntsman in 2012.

    It’s difficult to imagine why Santorum thinks he qualified to be President of the United States. It’s impossible to be more insane than this at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/24/2012-election-gop-candidates-evolution-_n_934045.html#s333320&title=Rick_Santorum:

    Rick Santorum — who strongly opposes the theory of evolution — took aim at rival GOP contender Jon Huntsman this week over his stance on evolution.

    Asked to define his own position on the issue, Santorum told the Philadelphia Inquirer in an email, “I believe in Genesis 1:1 — God created the heavens and the earth. I don’t know exactly how God did it or exactly how long it took him, but I do know that He did it. If Gov. Huntsman wants to believe that he is the descendant of a monkey, then he has the right to believe that — but I disagree with him on this and the many other liberal beliefs he shares with Democrats. For John Huntsman to categorize anyone as ‘anti-science’ or ‘extreme’ because they believe in God is ridiculous.”

    Santorum once proposed an amendment that would have forced the inclusion of intelligent design in public school curricula.

    WNYC reports:

    He also has his name tied to intelligent design: the “Santorum Amendment” to the 2001 No Child Left Behind Act would have forced public schools to offer the creationist perspective in science classes, and to call into question the scientific evidence supporting evolution. That amendment was rejected.

    In a 2005 interview with NPR, however, Santorum stated that he was no longer comfortable with intelligent design being taught in schools. But he did maintain his opposition to evolution, emphasizing that classroom focus should be on evolution’s discrepancies.

    “I’m not comfortable with intelligent design being taught in the science classroom. What we should be teaching are the problems and holes and I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution. And what we need to do is to present those fairly from a scientific point of view,” Santorum said. “And we should lay out areas in which the evidence supports evolution and the areas in the evidence that does not.”

  14. 14
    Hayden

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KN7WfIZh690#t=1574s

    I’m surprised PZ didn’t latch on to this. Santorum wants to require equal numbers of “liberal” and “conservative” professors teaching at colleges to remain eligible for federal funds. Wow.

  15. 15
    juice

    http://nobodysbusinessblog.com/2012/01/04/the-totalitarian-moment/

    Santorum says that “the pursuit of happiness” is what’s destroying America.

  16. 16
    juice

    Oh did you know that Santorum used to be a lobbyist for professional wrestling?

    http://articles.philly.com/2010-10-22/news/24982170_1_linda-mcmahon-rick-santorum-senate-race

    In one sense, the growth of the WWE, and McMahon’s power, traces back to Pennsylvania, which became one of the first states to deregulate pro wrestling after an aggressive lobbying effort – begun in 1987 under the guidance of a young associate at the law firm of Kirkpatrick & Lockhart named Rick Santorum.

    Basically, the legislation that Santorum and the company helped draft decreed that professional wresting was not a sport and thus did not need to submit to the oversight of the state’s athletic commission and its ring doctors.

    “I was at the center of that,” Santorum said in a recent interview. “Pennsylvania was the most pernicious of states when it came to regulation. They made you pay all this money to the boxing [athletic] commission. They used to just rape these guys. You’d have to pay a certain percentage of the gate receipts to have these officials just stand around and watch the match. It was ridiculous.”

  17. 17
    dynaboy

    Will vasectomies also be outlawed under a Santorum regime? Will I have to get mine reversed?

  18. 18
    Midnight Rambler

    It’s pretty funny that he’s talking about a $20,000/child tax deduction, at a time when most Republicans are carping about how 50% of Americans don’t pay any income taxes. I’d bet that that deduction would bump it up to 75% or so.

  19. 19
    sqlrob

    From an article on CNN:

    Should government be used to shore up public morality by legislating private consensual behavior? Though Americans are moving away from that notion, social conservatives are not, which provides an opening for Santorum.

    If that’s intentional, the author is a genius.

  20. 20
    Muse

    As much as I disagree with Santorum – I’m not sure it’s fair to say his wife had an abortion. From what I’ve read, they took all options, including at the expense of her health, and she went into premature labor. She asked them to stop the labor and they refused. She delivered an extremely preterm infant who lived about 2 hours. I’m not sure how you call that an abortion. That said Santorum is still a hypocritical jerk, but I’m not convinced that this is one of the places he’s a hypocrite.

  21. 21
    slc1

    It’s my understanding that Santorum is also in favor of outlawing in-vitro fertilization. I wonder what former Vice President Cheney thinks of that, considering that his daughter, Mary, had two children via that procedure.

  22. 22
    csue

    dynaboy @17:

    What about menopause? Will I have to get THAT reversed?

    FORCED ESTROGEN FOR ALL!

    :>

  23. 23
    shouldbeworking

    That will put the American porn actors out of work. Yet another industry out-sourced overseas.

  24. 24
    Putting On The Foil

    Luckily he’s only the not-Romney of the moment and doesn’t stand a chance of even being nominated… not that Romney is much better.

  25. 25
    ButchKitties

    I’d say that if he wants to outlaw my IUD, he’s going to have to come pry it out himself… but I don’t think he’d have any qualms about doing just that.

  26. 26
    Pteryxx

    $20K X 10 kids = $200,000 lopped off their tax bill, after all, and Uncle Sam would have to pay them for a change, on top of all the fed and state freebies they’re already lapping up. You’d be amazed how many of these massive families are on SSI, SDI, welfare and hogging up charitable dollars. That’s just about the only way any of them stay afloat.

    Now I’m wondering how many lobsters that is…

  27. 27
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    On the plus side, just think of the number of jobs created so that there can be a Sex Enforcement officer in every bedroom of every American (I suspect that he even frowns on masturbation (and now, with that image, I need to bleach my brain)). Or cameras in every room (no dining room table sex for you!) with upright Christians monitoring every monitor to monitor your sex. The bad news? It’ll be privatized: Xe will be in your bedroom.

  28. 28
    dianne

    From what I’ve read, they took all options, including at the expense of her health, and she went into premature labor. She asked them to stop the labor and they refused.

    I do not have nor should I have access to Santorum’s medical records, but if PZ’s link is accurate, Santorum agreed to pitocin augmentation of her labor once it was clear to her that her life was in danger and that the pregnancy was non-viable. In short, it was an abortion that she agreed to. An abortion in the most extreme circumstance of need, but still an abortion.

  29. 29
    anchor

    A tax deduction of $20,000 per childless adult or couple is at least as reasonable, from a consideration of the disasterous over-population of human beings, the root problem behind almost every large-scale problems we inflict on ourselves.

    Santorum is obviously a bigoted idiot as well as a shameless political opportunist, but unfortunately too many people resonate with that brand of idiocy.

  30. 30
    joanofsnark

    To be quite honest, I’m rather glad ‘Sanitorium’, a/k/a ‘Anal Froth’, has put himself out there in the race…the man is as mad as twenty hatters, and it’s a safe bet he’ll soon experience a meltdown under continual public scrutiny in the spotlight.
    Then everyone in the country can get to see how droolingly insane he is, not just those lucky few of us who are acquainted with, and cherish, his wacky xtian antics.

  31. 31
    davidct

    In a world with 7 billion people this moron wants to encourage more children. As a conservative he will also want to promote policies that will only more difficult for the parents of these extra children to provide for them. It is all about wanting quantity not quality. These religious people believe that this world is for suffering and want to make sure there is plenty of that. Someone else can vote for him.

  32. 32
    Randomfactor

    “I believe in Genesis 1:1 — God created the heavens and the earth.”

    Wonder how he feels about the somewhat contradictory creation spelled out in Genesis 2:4 et seq?

  33. 33
    joanofsnark

    “Santorum Will Tell You How And When You Can Have Sex”

    Will he also tell you that you have to let him watch?

  34. 34
    Inaji

    Pteryxx:

    Now I’m wondering how many lobsters that is…

    +1

  35. 35
    Usernames are smart

    “I believe in Genesis 1:1 — God created the heavens and the earth.”

    How about Genesis 1:3, where god created light without a source (was it a wave or a particle, or just ‘passing through’?)

    Then, two “days” later, he creates plants (without photosynthesis for them to grow(?!), and not until day 4, do we get the Sun, moon and stars. Because, you know, they aren’t needed for um, light and heat and stuff.

    Holy cow that’s some stupid shit right there.

    Obviously the Bronze-age goatherd guys didn’t know shite about anything when they told the stories that eventually became the bible, so I’ll give ‘em a pass.

    Not so for anyone who lives today: they are a moran for believing garbage that could be quickly refuted by a trip to the local library.

  36. 36
    shouldbeworking

    Santorum Will Tell You How And When You Can Have Sex

    Will he also tell you that you have to let him watch?

    But isn’t that unnatural because the babble says 1 man and 1 woman at a time? Or is that in the constitution?

  37. 37
    myeck waters

    Even Catholic Online couldn’t deny it: “In Final Lap Rick Santorum Comes From Behind

  38. 38
    alison

    I remember reading The Handmaid’s Tale some years ago & thinking, nah, how likely is this? Having read about Santorum (& having gained the distinct impression that a reasonable number of folks in the US share his attitudes to sex/contraception), I’m beginning to rethink my opinion…

  39. 39
    x

    Heck of a scary VP candidate he’d be!

  40. 40
    LightningRose

    satanaugustine, visiting a web site goes absolutely *nothing* to increase that sites Google ranking.

  41. 41
    DaveL

    People who enjoy sex for purposes other than procreation are a tiny constituency.

    Wow. So not only does Rick not really enjoy sex with his wife, but he doesn’t understand why anybody else would enjoy straight sex either. Of course he has no problem seeing gay sex as a terrible temptation.

  42. 42
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    He wants to go total fundy? Unleash the MRAs that have plagued us lately.

    “President Santorum” would outlaw contraception and abortion… You’ll pay child support for the next 18 years for every one-night stand!

    Fight fire with fire, fight stupid with stupid.

  43. 43
    NitricAcid

    He’s not just coming from behind, he’s surging from behind!

    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/attytood/Santorum-surges-from-behind-in-Iowa.html?cmpid=124488469

  44. 44
    Weed(less) Monkey

    Pteryxx

    Now I’m wondering how many lobsters that is…

    :D

  45. 45
    Fukuda

    @42 Zinc Avenger

    I don’t think anyone wants to clean up the immense damage caused by the deflagration of such huge amounts of stoopid…

  46. 46
    raven

    Out of Step With the Flock: Bishops Far Behind on Birth Control …www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/…birth-control…/249703/Cached
    You +1′d this publicly. Undo

    9 Dec 2011 – Even though 98 percent of sexually active Catholic women use birth control during their reproductive years,

    U.S. bishops are fighting it. … The other 99 percent will gain access to a service that far too many still lack. … In a Hart Research survey, 71 percent of voters agreed that health plans should cover birth …

    99% of relevant American women use birth control. It is 98% for Catholic women.

    Hard to believe any of those would vote for a creepy Catholic guy that wants to outlaw contraception.

    But he did come in second in Iowa so at least some people do.

    I can’t see it happen. But it doesn’t bother me if Satanorum tries. He is a monster, proud of it, and not hiding anything. What you see is what you get.

  47. 47
    Gregory Greenwood

    Urrghh – Santorum is a nauseating cretin. Not only is he declaring war on recreational sex*, he puts forward policies that will result in more children in an already chronically and acutely overpopulated planet at the same time as insuring that it will be harder to raise them with any education worth the name or decent quality of life, and then tops it off with some offensively stupid anti-intellectualism that tries to cast all scientists as Doctor Frankensteins-in-waiting.

    I desperately want to believe that this idiot has no chance of ever even geting near the Republican nomination, let alone the Presidency, but if bitter experience has taught me nothing else, it has taught me never to bet against teh all-pervasive stoopid – his brand of misogynistic, homophobic, reality denying fanaticism is not a bug to all too many American voters, it’s a feature.

    —————————————————————-

    * As DaveL points out @ 41, it is interesting that he finds the idea of recreational straight sex mystifying, but seems to understand all too well the terrible temptation of homosexual sex. Why, it is almost as though he experiences such urges himself, but that cannot be true, what with Santorum being a red-blooded, bible-thumpin’, gawd-fearing Real Man(TM), and all…

  48. 48
    David Marjanović
    Named, by popular demand and usage, after legislator Rick Santorum because of his homophobic political statements.

    More precisely, named, by popular demand and usage, after the legislator Rick Santorum because of his vivid, detailed description of precisely how disgusting he finds teh buttsecks. Those poor sperm cells! Swimming into shit! Seriously. That’s his greatest concern about male homosexuality, according to his own words. I’m with comment 41; I think he protests too much.

    It’s difficult to imagine why Santorum thinks he qualified to be President of the United States.

    Oh, I don’t know if he thinks he’s qualified. What’s clear is that he thinks that God thinks that he, Santorum, is qualified.

  49. 49
    raven

    wikipedia:

    In the November 7, 2006 election, Santorum lost by over 700,000 votes, receiving 41.3 percent of the vote to Casey’s 58.7 percent, the largest margin of defeat ever for an incumbent Republican Senator in Pennsylvania.[36] The 18-point defeat was the largest margin of defeat for any incumbent senator since 1980[37] and the largest margin of any incumbent Republican senator ever.[38]

    I barely remember Satanorum. Seen one GOP monster, seen them all. This was when Bush was still in office to boot.

    Apparently in a rare fit of sanity, the voters in Pennsylvania didn’t reelect him. Very strange. Hmmm, maybe they wanted to keep having sex without the Catholic Talibani watching to make sure they didn’t use birth control.

  50. 50
    'Tis Himself

    Are people suggesting that ex-Senator Santorum (the peace of Harvey Milk be upon him) might be tempted to have his luggage lifted?

  51. 51
    David Marjanović

    As DaveL points out @ 41, it is interesting that he finds the idea of recreational straight sex mystifying, but seems to understand all too well the terrible temptation of homosexual sex.

    Perry: “those of you who’ll be 21 this year, don’t forget to vote for me on November 12th”
    Bachmann: “I’ll appoint 13 new Republican senators so that Congress will undo everything Obama has done”
    Santorum: “few if any men actually enjoy sex with a woman; I certainly don’t, just ask my wife – and did I tell you I’m TOTALLY NOT GAY?”

    Some people actually are too stupid to be nominated even by the Reptilians. Santorum just waited a little longer than Perry and Bachmann to reveal the bottomless depths of his stupidity.

  52. 52
    Randomfactor

    Santorum’s re-election campaign was highlighted (for me) by the fact that he’d falsified his residency and may not have actually lived in Pennsylvania.

    Oh, and his new home? Got it for free.

    http://roxborough.patch.com/articles/santorum-iowa

  53. 53
    Gregory Greenwood

    David Marjanović 48;

    More precisely, named, by popular demand and usage, after the legislator Rick Santorum because of his vivid, detailed description of precisely how disgusting he finds teh buttsecks. Those poor sperm cells! Swimming into shit! Seriously. That’s his greatest concern about male homosexuality, according to his own words. I’m with comment 41; I think he protests too much.

    If this is his position, then one would logically assume that he would find unprotected anal intercourse between a man and woman equally disgusting as that between two men. Afterall, it is still sperm cells swimming into fecal matter. And by extension, he shouldn’t have much of a problem with lesbian sex at all, what with there being no sperm to worry about.

    I mean, anything else would make him some kind of hypocrit, and a pillar of the community such as Santorum would surely never sink to that…

  54. 54
    Doc Bill

    Has anyone explored the possibility that Santorum is mentally ill? He seems to have an unnatural and unhealthy fixation on sex but only from the standpoint of women. To my knowledge he’s never said anything about vasectomies.

  55. 55
    Randomfactor

    Has anyone explored the possibility that Santorum is mentally ill?

    He’s religious. In this case, they feed on each other.

  56. 56
    Ingdigo Jump

    @Doc Bill

    He’s not well but not legally insane.

    Granted if someone started talking about eating in such a manner, they would probably be committed if they had loved ones who care about them.

  57. 57
    Irène Delse, on dry land among seabirds

    Muse #20:

    As much as I disagree with Santorum – I’m not sure it’s fair to say his wife had an abortion. From what I’ve read, they took all options, including at the expense of her health, and she went into premature labor. She asked them to stop the labor and they refused. She delivered an extremely preterm infant who lived about 2 hours. I’m not sure how you call that an abortion.

    Check the link provided by PZ in his post, there’s a discussion of exactly that issue in the comments:

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/lousycanuck/2011/06/19/santorums-wifes-abortion-was-different-you-see/

    From what I gathered, what happened is consistent with an emergency second-term abortion, the kind that Mr. Santorum wants to make illegal. First, the foetus was indeed dying and endangering the life of the Karen Santorum. It’s not clear if labour had already begun or if it would have started soon, but one thing is not disputed: the doctors injected pitocin (a drug used to induce delivery or an abortion, depending on the stage of pregnancy) to hasten it. Waiting for a natural delivery would have taken too long, and labour could have stopped or been too slow, because Karen was already ill.

    This is a drug-induced abortion of a non-viable foetus. Without it, Karen could have died of sepsis while waiting for nature to follow its course. But the Santorums still think that all abortions should be illegal!

    Another thing to ponder: the case of Karen Santorum highlights the fact that it’s extremely difficult to draw clear lines in the sand when it comes to abortions. Some pregnancies are doomed anyway, either because the foetus is not viable or the mother is badly ill, or both, but it’s how these things play out that decide if both mother and expected child die, or only one of them.

  58. 58
    Pteryxx

    …Wait a minute, so every sperm is sacred and deserves to roam freely in the wonderland of somebody’s vagina? They’re too special to ever be cruelly deposited in a condom or tissue, to be dumped in the toilet or trash?

    …Does he really think sperm are swimmy little communion wafers??

  59. 59
    cozrose

    I do wonder why I have Tim Minchin’s ‘Pope Song’ stuck in my head so often these days.(nsfw if you haven’t heard it.)

  60. 60
    'Tis Himself

    …Does he really think sperm are swimmy little communion wafers??

    Basically yes. Santorum, who is a Catholic, is parroting Catholic doctrine on sex, including the purpose of sex, and the sinfulness of contraception and abortion.

  61. 61
    Gregory Greenwood

    Tis Himself, OM @ 50;

    Are people suggesting that ex-Senator Santorum (the peace of Harvey Milk be upon him) might be tempted to have his luggage lifted?

    *Gasp* Say it isn’t so! *Clutches pearls*

    ;-)

    ——————————————————————

    David Marjanović @ 51;

    Perry: “those of you who’ll be 21 this year, don’t forget to vote for me on November 12th”

    Ah, it’s priceless. Maybe he should look up the age of enfranchisement sometime – I imagine that kind of stuff helps if you want to pursue a career in professional lying politics. Still, I think it is just pipped at the post in the Top Ten Stupid Things that Perry has Done list by his appearance in an add condemning homosexuality while wearing the exact same type of jacket worn by Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain. All we need now is for Perry to ask Santorum “why can’t I quit you?”

    Bachmann: “I’ll appoint 13 new Republican senators so that Congress will undo everything Obama has done”

    Bachmann was clearly born in the wrong historical era – that little stunt might have gone down just fine in the Roman Senate…

    Thank the imaginary sky fairy that the horrible woman has finally left the race.

    Santorum: “few if any men actually enjoy sex with a woman; I certainly don’t, just ask my wife – and did I tell you I’m TOTALLY NOT GAY?”

    I believe this sniny new internets is yours…

    Some people actually are too stupid to be nominated even by the Reptilians. Santorum just waited a little longer than Perry and Bachmann to reveal the bottomless depths of his stupidity.

    I am crossing every digit I possess hoping that you are right – surely even the Republican party must find such epoch-shattering levels of teh stoopid toxic?

    Surely…?

  62. 62
    JeffreyD

    Would love to see Rickie withdraw from the race. Of course, it would have been better if Santorum Senior had withdrawn 50 odd years ago.

  63. 63
    Irène Delse, on dry land among seabirds

    ‘Tis Himself:

    Are people suggesting that ex-Senator Santorum (the peace of Harvey Milk be upon him) might be tempted to have his luggage lifted?

    This world of science blogs is wicked, wicked, I tell you! Also, you win a bunch of internets ;-)

  64. 64
    basil4basil

    Santorum supported the creationist Governors in the Dover School Board case. As a Brit, I am not au courant, but doesn’t this count against him in the minds of the majority of Republicans? Isn’t this an open goal for the Democrats?

    The choice for Republicans is between an anti-educationalist, like Santorum, and the believer in a historically segregationalist religion, like Romney.

    If only the Democrats were a halfway Socialist party, they could romp it.

  65. 65
    Gregory Greenwood

    Pteryxx @ 58;

    …Wait a minute, so every sperm is sacred and deserves to roam freely in the wonderland of somebody’s vagina? They’re too special to ever be cruelly deposited in a condom or tissue, to be dumped in the toilet or trash?

    And what about the millions of sperm cells that are naturally reabsorbed into a man’s body when they cease to be viable? Does that mean that every man must have sex with the intent to procreate as often as humanly possible lest his ‘fallen’ body kill his sacred sperm? And what about unmarried men? Damned for sex outside marriage if you do, damned for spermatozoa genocide if you don’t?

  66. 66
    moxy

    In fairness, has he actually said he would criminalize contraception? I can’t stand the eye-bleeding that 44 minutes of Rick Santorum would entail, so maybe he outright says it, but from the Salon article I get the impression he’s just voicing an opinion. I mean, I think religion is stupid, but I wouldn’t want to criminalize it. Anyway, has he actually stated he would criminalize it?

  67. 67
    Ingdigo Jump

    Santorum supported the creationist Governors in the Dover School Board case. As a Brit, I am not au courant, but doesn’t this count against him in the minds of the majority of Republicans? Isn’t this an open goal for the Democrats?

    Here’s the thing. The democrats have heard everyone complain about the nastyness of politics and the negative ads and think that people want them to stop being so mean in the races.

    Well yes everyone SAYS that, what they don’t acknowledge is that it works.

    Democrats seem to fetishize a notion of fairness and unwritten rules that cripples their ability to run against Repuglicans.

    Or they aren’t in enough disagreement with Republicans to give a shit…either way.

  68. 68
    Anthony K

    So, where do I sign up for Bedroom Enforcement? I figure I’ll pepper spray the fuck out of the every republican I see ejaculating prematurely until I get a cushy desk job on admin leave or something.

    I can fight cruelty with cruelty. I’m an atheist: we’re all Vlad Tepes + Stalin underneath.

  69. 69
    'Tis Himself

    basil4basil #64

    Santorum supported the creationist Governors in the Dover School Board case. As a Brit, I am not au courant, but doesn’t this count against him in the minds of the majority of Republicans?

    Au contraire*, being a creationist is considered a good thing among many Republicans. It means you love gawd and follow the Holy Bible and shit like that.

    *That’s foreign for nope.

  70. 70
    juice

    Can’t be too au courant if you think socialism is a good sell in the US.

  71. 71
    Gregory Greenwood

    Brownian @ 68;

    I’m an atheist: we’re all Vlad Tepes + Stalin underneath.

    Careful, now. These are Republicans we are dealing with here – they might find your post, google Vlad Tepes, read about his oh-so-fun impaling antics (but most of his victims were only muslim Turks, so who cares anyway…), stumble upon the link to Bram Stoker and come to the conclusion that one might expect from Republicans – that we atheists are not only all wannabe communist dictators, but also vampires.

    Communist vampires – the only way it could be worse for them would be if we were all gay communist vampires.

    Do we really want a bunch of Republican youth activists turning up to the next Skepticon waving hawthorne stakes and bottles of holy water…

    Wait, on second thoughts they probably do that already. As you were then…

  72. 72
    feralboy12

    So, where do I sign up for Bedroom Enforcement?

    We’ll be setting up some citizens’ watch committees to prowl our neighborhoods at night and keep everyone safe. I intend to be very active in my community. Well, somebody’s community, anyway.
    And jury duty will never be the same.

  73. 73
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Santorum’s sweater vest or Dembski’s sweater

    you choose

  74. 74
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Ing, #67:

    Democrats seem to fetishize a notion of fairness and unwritten rules that cripples their ability to run against Repuglicans.

    Yes. The civility trolls of political activism, who continually intone, “We must be better than they are!”

    Hey, guess what? I AM better than they are, and using “intemperate language” isn’t going to change that equation at all. Fuck’s sake am I tired of “liberals” who approach politics like a self-betterment seminar.

    On another note, I linked to this on TET but it’s appropriate here too: Romney Squeezes Out Santorum.

  75. 75
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Jeffrey @62:
    Awww, snap!

  76. 76
    mikeg

    As much as I loved reading the comments to this thread, I have some house work to attend to. There is some santorum I have wash out of the sheets.

  77. 77
    pacal

    So the frothy mix says things like:

    “contraception is a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to the way things are supposed to be”

    Partial translation:

    “Pregnancy is a punishment for having sex outside of hetrosexual marriage”

  78. 78
    basil4basil

    “Or they aren’t in enough disagreement with Republicans to give a shit…either way.”

    says We Are Ing.

    I, no expert on American history, often wonder how the Republicans, the party of Lincoln, degenerated to such a degree that trolls like Santorum and Bachmann dare to represent it only 6 generations after the Gettysburg Address. How is it that they take no pride in its ringing call for open-mindedness, in its admission of the racist and dissonant hypocrisy in the hearts of those who drafted the American Constitution?

    What would the crypto-atheist Lincoln make of this man’s strictures on the bedroom practices of the married? What would Lincoln think of Santorum’s anti-science? How did the Republicans descend from that summit to this depression?

  79. 79
    carlie

    JeffreyD!
    *attack*
    *snuggle hugs*

    Good to see you!

  80. 80
    allencdexter

    He sounds like a frustrated catholic priest wanabee or a reincarnated Augustine. These religious nuts want to saddle everybody with their sexual aberrations and hangups, and they’re dead set on turning this country into a fascist theocracy.

    Anybody who has looked into the real origins of Christianity through Constatntine and the Council of Nicea can’t be surprised that so much stupid thinking is extant — AND THEY’RE DEAD SET ON IMPOSING THEIR CLAPTRAP ON EVERYBODY!

  81. 81
    Ingdigo Jump

    What would the crypto-atheist Lincoln make of this man’s strictures on the bedroom practices of the married? What would Lincoln think of Santorum’s anti-science? How did the Republicans descend from that summit to this depression?

    The big tipping point often sited I believe is Nixon’s Southern Strategy.

  82. 82
    JeffreyD

    Snuggle hugs back to you, Carlie dear.

  83. 83
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Basil,
    Ing nailed it- Nixon actively courted white Southerners, who traditionally loathed Republicans because of the Civil War. (Or, you know, pandered to them.)

    So, yeah. Evangelicals and racists are where it’s at!

  84. 84
    dianne

    All we need now is for Perry to ask Santorum “why can’t I quit you?”

    Just HAD to put that imagine in my mind, didn’t you? Can’t get it out of my head! Chthulu eat me now!

  85. 85
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    So… wait. Why the hell are we paying people to breed? You shouldn’t get a tax break for breeding — you should get one every year you remain child-free!

  86. 86
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Rachel Maddow had Micheal Steele on her show tonight. One of the questions she asked was how Santorum could enforce his idea of sex and be a small government conservative. Steele said that he would move this to state enforcement as opposed to federal enforcement and would not be big government.

    In my own ill informed opinion, the states would have to be even more intrusive than the Stasi in order to keep sex as Santorum sees fit.

  87. 87
    Mr. Fire

    Santorum Gushes On Late Ronald Reagan During Televised Debate; Conservative Audience Laps It Up

  88. 88
    marymallone

    I wonder how much time he spends thinking, in graphic detail, of ways people shouldn’t have sex.

  89. 89
    truthspeaker

    basil4basil says:
    4 January 2012 at 7:48 pm

    Santorum supported the creationist Governors in the Dover School Board case. As a Brit, I am not au courant, but doesn’t this count against him in the minds of the majority of Republicans

    No. If anything it counts in his favor.

  90. 90
    truthspeaker

    asil4basil says:
    4 January 2012 at 8:31 pm

    “Or they aren’t in enough disagreement with Republicans to give a shit…either way.”

    says We Are Ing.

    I, no expert on American history, often wonder how the Republicans, the party of Lincoln, degenerated to such a degree that trolls like Santorum and Bachmann dare to represent it only 6 generations after the Gettysburg Address. How is it that they take no pride in its ringing call for open-mindedness, in its admission of the racist and dissonant hypocrisy in the hearts of those who drafted the American Constitution?

    What would the crypto-atheist Lincoln make of this man’s strictures on the bedroom practices of the married? What would Lincoln think of Santorum’s anti-science? How did the Republicans descend from that summit to this depression?

    Because Lincoln was the exception, not the rule. If you look at the presidents before and after Lincoln, and the activities of the men in congress around that time (of all parties), you find that most of them were crooks who used cheap demagoguery to get elected and then used their offices to direct government money to their friends and business partners. The time Lincoln lived was a particularly corrupt time in American politics but was by no means an aberration.

    The particular focus of the current Republican party’s rhetoric has its roots in some decisions by Nixon, but Nixon is not notable for his crookedness, but for sort of getting caught and almost having to suffer some consequences for it.

  91. 91
    d cwilson

    Santorum believes discriminating against people with pre-existing conditions is a bad thing:

    8) HEALTH REFORM WILL KILL MY CHILD: Santorum, who claims that Obamacare motivated him to run for president, told reporters in April that his daughter Bella — who was born with a genetic abnormality — wouldn’t survive in a country with “socialized medicine.” “Children like Bella are not given the treatment that other children are given.”

    Or not:

    10) INSURERS SHOULD DISCRIMINATE AGAINST PEOPLE WITH PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Santorum sounded like a representative from the health insurance industry when he addressed a small group of high school students in Merrimack, New Hampshire in December. The former Pennsylvania senator not only defended insurers for denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions, he also argued that individuals who are sick should pay higher premiums because they cost more money to insure.

    Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Most Outrageous Campaign Statements

  92. 92
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    If one is going to bring up Lincoln’s victory in 1860, one has to keep in mind how improbable his victory was. The Democratic party split in two: Northern and Southern, and the rump Whigs that did not move on to the new Republican party formed a Constitutional Union party.

    One can no more compare modern Republicans to Lincoln then one could compare modern Democrats to Stephen Douglas. You might as well lecture the god fearing Republicans about the virtues of a giant of the 19th century Republican Party, Robert Green Ingersoll.

  93. 93
    mtcf

    Ehmmm – has he ever thought that if he’s not enjoying sex that he’s not doing it right? Boy – he must have some hangups going on.

    Just a question – lets say you’re a hetrosexual couple that believe in what he says. You’re both virgins, you get married, you plan to have as many children as possible, as soon as possible. Then you find out that one, or both of you, can not reproduce.

    Does that mean no more sex? No point as no reproduction can happen.

  94. 94
    kreativekaos

    Oh yes Mr. Santorum,… those HORRIBLE scientists with NO ‘moral’ or ethical values, populating and propagating groups like…

    Scientists for Social Responsibility
    Doctors Without Borders
    Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
    Scientists for Global Responsibility (UK)
    …and others

    So many ‘evildoers’, those scientists! If they could only be more like the average ‘moral’ church goin’ American!

    (Oh brother!)

  95. 95
    shouldbeworking

    See all those scientists support international socialism!

  96. 96
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    Rick Santorum is:

    a. Getting his dick sucked by a female prostitute

    b. Getting his dick sucked by a male prostitute

    c. Having, or has had, at least one extra-marital affair with a woman

    d. Having, or has had, at least one affair/fling/fuck with a rent boy

    Mark my words.

  97. 97
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    Or, excuse me, “I predict Rick Santorum will turn out to a,b,c, or d in my #96″

  98. 98
    chigau (違う)

    Josh

    a,b,c, or d

    or?

  99. 99
    Pteryxx

    I’ll take “d” for $100, Josh.

  100. 100
    KRS

    The $20,000-per-child tax break explains the Duggars’ endorsement.

  101. 101
    Active Margin

    What we should be teaching are the problems and holes and I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution. And what we need to do is to present those fairly from a scientific point of view,” Santorum said. “And we should lay out areas in which the evidence supports evolution and the areas in the evidence that does not.”

    Why can’t this be questioned during candidate debates? Since he wont elaborate, I’d like to learn what this mysterious evidence is that refutes evolution. Similarly, I’d like to know which evidence he believes supports evolution.

    Is evolution “sorta kinda true”?

  102. 102
    shouldbeworking

    Octomom will sign on too!

  103. 103
    kreativekaos

    @Active Margin, #101:

    Good question. I think at least part (maybe a large part), is intrinsic to present day media: i.e., time limits for discussion in sound-bite segments, fear of opening up real discussions and calling out on facts by media hosts and ‘candidates’ alike.

    I have NEVER found these pre-election debates to be REAL debates; only billboards for politicians to gain visibility, acceptance, votes, and in turn, power.

  104. 104
    Friendly

    I voted for Santorum once, in my fundie years. The shame! The shame! When I came to my senses, I applied to be pelted in the marketplace with rotten cockles, but my application was rejected based on a literal reading of Rick’s executive order “forbidding any public activity with a ‘cock’ in it.”

  105. 105
    hotshoe, now with more boltcutters

    Rick Santorum is:

    a. Getting his dick sucked by a female prostitute

    b. Getting his dick sucked by a male prostitute

    c. Having, or has had, at least one extra-marital affair with a woman

    d. Having, or has had, at least one affair/fling/fuck with a rent boy

    Mark my words.

    The Santorum family has six living children (and the known 20-week dead one). Given little Rick’s aversion to contraception, that means he’s had sex with his wife no more than, what, a few hundred times in all those years. Otherwise poor Karen would have been pregnant dozens of times before she dropped.

    Damn tootin’ he’s getting some cock sucking from someone.

    My bet is on a little mutual suck off with his parish priest. (Well, they’re not ALL child rapists, you know.)

  106. 106
    =8)-DX

    “What we should be teaching are the problems and holes and I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution.”
    I thought teaching the problems and holes was comprehensive sex ed. Isn’t Santorum against that?
    It’s also interesting how of course he doesn’t admit it, but he is essentially denying there is any current racism or disadvantage to people of colour in the US. Social programs are no longer needed because the blacks don’t need any more subsidies *facepalm*.

  107. 107
    vytautasjanaauskas

    He’s got sleazy written all over his face :)

  108. 108
    DLC

    Santorum shouldn’t even be in politics. A christian dominionist who wants to rule the world, he and his kind are too dangerous to be allowed access to power.

  109. 109
    captainchaos

    Oh PZ, PZ… Surely you don’t expect us to believe that this man really exists! Obviously you made him up because you know how much us foreigners like to laugh at the US’s silly politicians. But this time you went too far, it’s completely unbelievable!

    Right?

    …right?

  110. 110
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Communist vampires – the only way it could be worse for them would be if we were all gay communist vampires.

    No problem there, but the waiting list for gay sex with Brownian is already long.

    The Santorum family has six living children (and the known 20-week dead one). Given little Rick’s aversion to contraception, that means he’s had sex with his wife no more than, what, a few hundred times in all those years.

    I needed 5 attempts for 3 pregnancies.
    It probably means he still use his digits for counting ;)

  111. 111
    David Marjanović

    *hugs sniny new internets* ^_^

    If this is his position, then one would logically assume that he would find unprotected anal intercourse between a man and woman equally disgusting as that between two men.

    Does he even know this ever happens? After all, he really doesn’t seem to know there’s any kind of gay sex that isn’t teh buttsecks.

    Ah, it’s priceless. Maybe he should look up the age of enfranchisement sometime –

    Also, it’s Nov. 6th, not 12th.

    Would love to see Rickie withdraw from the race. Of course, it would have been better if Santorum Senior had withdrawn 50 odd years ago.

    *chortle*

    Fuck’s sake am I tired of “liberals” who approach politics like a self-betterment seminar.

    QFFT!

    Rachel Maddow had Micheal Steele on her show tonight. One of the questions she asked was how Santorum could enforce his idea of sex and be a small government conservative. Steele said that he would move this to state enforcement as opposed to federal enforcement and would not be big government.

    :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

    To be fair, the US is the only place where conservatives and advocates of very small government can coexist in the same party.

    I wonder how much time he spends thinking, in graphic detail, of ways people shouldn’t have sex.

    Probably quite a lot, judging from his graphic, detailed description of precisely how icky anal sex is.

    or?

    10 US$ sez d and perhaps b.

    Oh PZ, PZ… Surely you don’t expect us to believe that this man really exists! Obviously you made him up because you know how much us foreigners like to laugh at the US’s silly politicians. But this time you went too far, it’s completely unbelievable!

    Right?

    …right?

    I am, actually, surprised to find out that Santorum is Catholic. Thought he must be a Southern Baptist or something. I keep forgetting that, in America, even the Catholics are evangelical.

  112. 112
    joanofsnark

    “I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution.”

    Oh why, oh why does the thought of Santorum talking about “legitimate holes” cause me ever so much eee-vile glee?

  113. 113
    Muse

    Dianne, Irene,

    thanks for the correction – I’d missed the pitocin in the other articles I’ve read.

  114. 114
    raven

    I am, actually, surprised to find out that Santorum is Catholic. Thought he must be a Southern Baptist or something. I keep forgetting that, in America, even the Catholics are evangelical.

    Despite some theist’s hatred of the word “evolution”, they evolve and quite rapidly.

    Satanorum’s Catholicism seems to be a result of hybridization between a nearly exinct species of Catholicism and Southern Baptism.

    There are fundie Catholics although not many of them. They frequently although not always hate fundie Protestants. I suspect the vast majority of Catholics look at Satanorum like they do a weird bug in the road.

  115. 115
    carbonbasedlifeform

    Rachel Maddow had Micheal Steele on her show tonight. One of the questions she asked was how Santorum could enforce his idea of sex and be a small government conservative.

    That’s easy. Many conservatives say, “I believe in your freedom to do what you want.” However, what they really mean is “I believe in your freedom to do what you want, as long as I approve of what you are doing.”

  116. 116
    kreativekaos

    raven @114:[There are fundie Catholics although not many of them. They frequently although not always hate fundie Protestants. I suspect the vast majority of Catholics look at Satanorum like they do a weird bug in the road.]

    When comparing Catholic-vs-Baptist, I feel it may be less a case of ‘more fundie’(Bapts)-vs-’less fundie’(Caths), since in each case at their cores, they try to maintain core fundamental fidelity to their respective ‘takes’ on the Bible/Christianity.

    I think what sets them apart (as with so many other religions/sects), are the differences in the style, format, execution (no pun intended) of their perceived religious dogmas. More a difference of style than of basic substance. That in and of itself sets one religion/sect criticizing another, if not actually setting them at each others throats.

  117. 117
    Matt G

    Funny – the red states are the biggest consumers of porn. Wonder why that is….

  118. 118
    rizdek

    Blondin writes in response to: “People who enjoy sex for purposes other than procreation are a tiny constituency.”

    “Shirley, you’re joking!?”

    Actually it might be an accurate statement considering he used the term constituency. Perhaps he believes among his constituents there are few that have sex for other than procreation.

    It is also possible he meant “tiny” in a different way.

  119. 119
    MollyNYC

    I can’t top Charles Pierce’s recent post on this smug, self-righteous, sleazeball: [here]

  120. 120
    yellowsubmarine

    Can someone explain to me why the Republican whackadoo nominees seem so much more dangerously bigoted and ignorant this year than normal? Was I just not paying attention before?

  121. 121
    RFW

    acal says:

    4 January 2012 at 8:28 pm

    So the frothy mix says things like:

    “contraception is a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to the way things are supposed to be”

    Partial translation:

    “Pregnancy is a punishment for having sex outside of hetrosexual marriage”

    Also, “AIDS is a punishment for having male-male buttsecks.”

    Keep in mind that condoms in particular have two functions: contraception and prophylaxis (prevention of infection), but Santorum almost certainly hasn’t grokked that distinction.

  122. 122
    Ingdigo Jump

    @Yellowsubmarine

    Big window push from the Teaparty.

    Regan (and probably Nixon before him) let a huge demon out of the bottle by courting the religious right (before hand the fundamentalists were doctrinally adverse to being political because they are not of this world). They reaped the spoils from this huge new voting block but are quickly discovering they can’t control it now. It’s too powerful, too big…and it can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t have a material goal or avarice like the type of politics Cheny and Rumsfeld and Nixon and Kissinger have; it is a pure ideology that has no concerns for material gain or practicality. It has no concerns for profit, or stability, or long term goals because the ideology itself is the goal. In order to keep power they have to give more and more reign to this demon, but with each concession they make they actually loose more and more control over their own party.

    Republicans themselves have observed this, the smarter amongst them are increasingly troubled by it.

    Romny will get the election because I think even a good portion of powerful Republicans fear a truely fundy TeaParty President.

  123. 123
    Ingdigo Jump

    @RFW

    Santorum also doesn’t acknowledge that SEX has two primary functions

    a) Procreation
    b) Socialization.

    My pet, bullshit evopsyche theory is that flexible sexuality and bisexuality was developed early in prehuman ancestry because the pair bonding mechanisms and pleasure from sex was easily co-opted by evolution into strengthening group unity.

  124. 124
    RFW

    Gregory Greenwood says:
    4 January 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Do we really want a bunch of Republican youth activists turning up to the next Skepticon waving hawthorne stakes and bottles of holy water…

    I thought it was oak stakes that one used to put vampires permanently to rest.

    And you left out bells and candles, the traditional implements of exorcists: “bell, book, and candle”.

  125. 125
    'Tis Himself

    My pet, bullshit evopsyche theory is that flexible sexuality and bisexuality was developed early in prehuman ancestry because the pair bonding mechanisms and pleasure from sex was easily co-opted by evolution into strengthening group unity.

    That actually makes sense, so according to evo psyche it’s dead wrong.

  126. 126
    kreativekaos

    http://santorum.urbanup.com/369371

    Another Santorum vid, opening with the ‘Looney Tunes’ theme.

  127. 127
    kreativekaos

    (BTW,..looks like a Ron Paul support vid, since it ends with ‘Ron Paul 2012.)

  128. 128
    Thomathy, Gay Where it Counts

    Josh, Official SpokesGay, it doesn’t even have to be a,b,c or d in the future.

    It’s almost certain that he has had some gay sex. I mean, if we are to infer that there is a reason that Dan Savage, who was his college roommate, was paid some six digit sum of money and signed a contract to not disclose about his life with Rick Santorum as roommate, then we might infer that Rick Santorum has some secret(s) he wishes to be kept.

  129. 129
    joanofsnark

    OT, but this site:

    http://crazyhorsesghost.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Slay-A-Vampire

    (gotta love the lurid fan art that accompanies the text, btw)

    gives the preferred wood as aspen. Not sure why it relates to Judas Iscariot, however. (I’ve heard the Judas-as-father-of-all-vampyrs legend before, but not with the tie-in of the aspen tree. Is there a reference anywhere to Judas having hung himself from an aspen?)

    The idea of the stake’s being made of silver is also odd; sounds a little as if someone got their Larry Talbot mixed up with their Count Dracula somewhere along the line.

  130. 130
    Gregory Greenwood

    dianne @ 84;

    Just HAD to put that imagine in my mind, didn’t you? Can’t get it out of my head! Chthulu eat me now!

    Yeah, sorry about that – you just know that there isn’t enough brain-bleach on the planet to get that image out…

    ——————————————————————

    David Marjanović @ 111;

    *hugs sniny new internets* ^_^

    You should add it to your well-earned and growing collection.

    Does he even know this ever happens? After all, he really doesn’t seem to know there’s any kind of gay sex that isn’t teh buttsecks.

    Good point. A man so oblivious to the full panoply of human sexuality could well be completely unaware that heterosexual couples sometimes employ other means of sexual intercourse, still less that homosexual couples don’t operate solely on ‘teh buttsecks’. I imagine that he would either claim that heterosexual anal sex doesn’t exist at all (it all being a lie put forward by the the Global Homosexual Conspiracy(TM)*, dontcha know), or if he did accept its existence he would claim to be horrified and sickened by the whole ‘unnatural’ idea, but he would probably try to come up with some rationale to justify why homosexual sex is so much worse – afterall, if you say that your problem is only with anal sex, not the same gender stuff itself, then gay-bashing becomes that much harder, and where would Santorum’s campaign be without some good ‘ole fashioned gay-bashing?

    Also, it’s Nov. 6th, not 12th.

    Ah, being a Brit I missed that. Double the wrong in just one, short little sentence – Perry is clearly well suited to being a Republican…

    —————————————————————-

    * The Global Homosexual Conspiracy(TM) has several sister organisations – the Global Atheist Conspiracy(TM), the Global Feminist Conspiracy(TM), the Global Socialist Conspiracy(TM), and the Global Muslim Conspiracy(TM) to name but a few. Of course, they all operate toward the same ultimate goal of destroying the American Dream and making teh baby jeebus cry, just ask any Tea Party wingnut…

  131. 131
    Gregory Greenwood

    RFW @ 124;

    I thought it was oak stakes that one used to put vampires permanently to rest.

    I thought it was a fire-hardened stake at least three handspans in length of either oak, white ash or hawthorne, but there are so many weird European myths about this stuff from the Middle Ages that I have no real idea what the proper protocol for dealing with mythological blood-drinking animated corpses is supposed to be*.

    That said, I do remember reading somewhere that certain recorded cases of ‘vampire-slayings’ resulted in the removal and burning of the corpse’s heart and the ashes being mixed with water or alcohol and imbibed as a supposed ‘cure’ for those allegedly afflicted by the vampire’s nightly predations…

    Folk medicine is really disgusting stuff, isn’t it?

    And you left out bells and candles, the traditional implements of exorcists: “bell, book, and candle”.

    Good point. Modern vampire scares are pretty rare, but there are quite a few charlatan priests prepared to dress up the abuse of the mentally ill as an ‘exorcism’ even today. I can just imagine some xian moron trying to cast the godless ‘demons’ out of atheists – and achieving nothing more than incapacitating us with uncontrollable laughter.

    ——————————————————————

    * Of course, it is simple for christians – just declare it a demi-god and worship it…

  132. 132
    w00dview

    @ d cwilson # 91

    Just had a look at that top ten list of santorum quotes and these two in particular troubled me.

    “9) UNINSURED AMERICANS SHOULD SPEND LESS ON CELL-PHONE BILLS: During a meeting with the editorial board of the Des Moines Register in August, Santorum said that people who can’t afford health care should stop whining about the high costs of medical treatments and medications and spend less on non essentials. Answering a question about the uninsured, Santorum explained that health care, like a car, is a luxury resource that is rationed by society and recalled the story of a woman who said she was spending $200 a month on life-saving prescriptions. Santorum told her to stop complaining and instead lower her cable and cell phone bills.

    10) INSURERS SHOULD DISCRIMINATE AGAINST PEOPLE WITH PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Santorum sounded like a representative from the health insurance industry when he addressed a small group of high school students in Merrimack, New Hampshire in December. The former Pennsylvania senator not only defended insurers for denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions, he also argued that individuals who are sick should pay higher premiums because they cost more money to insure.”

    Santorum (not to mention a heap of other Republicans) are often called out on their vile bigotry, their anti-intellectualism, their religious fundamentalism and their blatant pandering to corporate power. Rightly so and these are all things that make me despise the shower of thugs as well. But those two quotes above , for me, really highlight the complete lack of empathy for others. Don’t have health insurance? Stop wasting money on gadgets, morons! Health care is a luxury and if you can’t afford it well FUCK YOU!

    This is what really terrifies me about republicans. They ignore Ayn Rand’s atheism but gleefully embrace her sociopathy. They truly are a party of the most vile human beings imaginable. What I can’t fathom is how they have managed to convince the general American public that such cruelty and selfishness is moral and godly and that anyone who advocates compassion and fairness is a evil socialist. It really is an upside down idea for a society to base their values on.

  133. 133
    Irène Delse, on dry land among seabirds

    RFW #124:

    Gregory Greenwood says:
    4 January 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Do we really want a bunch of Republican youth activists turning up to the next Skepticon waving hawthorne stakes and bottles of holy water…

    I thought it was oak stakes that one used to put vampires permanently to rest.

    Tut, tut, the hawthorn is used to entangle the vampire so that you can push the stake in. That’s what Hammer movies taught me. Why? ‘Cuz hawthorn is said to be the source of Jesus’ crown of thorns! Henceforth, unholy creatures such as vampires and demons are disabled by its touch.

  134. 134
    stanton

    gives the preferred wood as aspen. Not sure why it relates to Judas Iscariot, however. (I’ve heard the Judas-as-father-of-all-vampyrs legend before, but not with the tie-in of the aspen tree. Is there a reference anywhere to Judas having hung himself from an aspen?)
    Judas Iscariot allegedly hung himself from an elder tree, and from its trunk sprung the first fruiting bodies of the Judas’ Ear Fungus, in honor of his demise, thus explaining why the Judas’ Ear prefers elder trees as its host.

  135. 135
    stanton

    Blockquote fail…

  136. 136
    joanofsnark

    BQ fail forgiven, Stanton…that’s an interesting footnote with regard to the Judas Ear Fungus; I hadn’t heard this before, and in fact don’t think I recall ever having read anywhere precisely what species of tree it was that Judas allegedly hung himself from. I’ve heard the phrase ‘Judas tree’ a number of times but never knew if it was simply a phrase or if it was an actual variety of tree. (I know, I know…I shoulda looked it up.)

    And of course, in one variant of Judas’ demise, he goes into a field to count his ill-gotten moniez and his bowels either ‘gush out’ or ‘explode’, depending on the translation. (Be amusing to have something like this happen to Santorum during a public speaking engagement, I must say.)

    In either case, no innocent shrubbery is involved in this version.

  137. 137
    Erülóra Maikalambe

    Mr. Analfroth,

    It’s none of your damned business if I “do things in the sexual realm that is counter to the way things are supposed to be”.

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