It’s almost getting to be a law of human nature, this event is becoming so common.
Meet Representative Phil Hinkle of Indiana. He’s a Republican. He’s strongly against gay marriage — he has voted to make it illegal.
And…you know exactly where this is going, don’t you? Every single one of you out there, even if you haven’t seen it in the news already, are sitting there, nodding your head, rolling your eyes, confident that you already know what this is about.
You’re making me feel totally superfluous, you know? Why should I even bother writing this up, when you know-it-alls can see it coming from a thousand miles away? Dammit, you’re making me feel useless.
Try to at least pretend to be surprised, OK? Just humor me.
Put on your shock-horror faces for just a minute, please.
OK, now you can stop putting on the act. Yeah, Hinkle browsed Craigslist for young men, found a good-looking fellow with his shirt off, and sent him an email.
“Cannot be a long time sugar daddy,” the email reads, “but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?”
The email offers “to make it worth (your) while” in cash, and offers a personal description: “I am an in shape married professional, 5’8″, fit 170 lbs, and love getting and staying naked.”
Apparently, the price of a rent-boy in Indianapolis is $80, plus a $60 tip if he does a good job, plus giving him your blackberry and iPad in a desperate attempt to keep him quiet afterwards. This is good to know in case I ever turn into a homophobic Republican and rent-boy rentals become obligatory.
By the way, I’m a healthy married professional, 5’10″, 195 lbs (and shrinking), and I don’t mind being naked in the privacy of my home, but I tend not to flaunt it, and don’t regard it as a major selling point. Do I need to put these data on my business card? Or is it only relevant if I’m a Republican?