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Jul 19 2012

The Ballad Of The Naked Traveler

Let me tell you all the story
Of John E. Brennan

On a tragic and fateful day
Put his passport in his pocket
Kissed his wife and family
And he pissed off the TSA…

Brennan handed them his ticket
At the Portland airport
But refused to submit to a scan
When they told him they found traces
Of explosives on his clothing
He just showed them what made him a man

Did he take off his clothes,
Yes he took off his clothes
And his fate is now exposed
He’s a modern hero
On the streets of Portland
He’s the man who took off his clothes!

Well, the TSA accused him
Of indecent exposure
And they took him to criminal court
Saying “Freedom of speech
Doesn’t mean you have the freedom
To get naked in the Portland Airport”

In a two-hour trial
In Multnomah county
It was argued, and the legend grows
As a form of protest
It’s the right of every person
In the airport to remove their clothes

Did he take off his clothes,
Yes he took off his clothes
And his fate is now exposed
He’s a modern hero
On the streets of Portland
He’s the man who took off his clothes!

Now the citizens of Portland
And of all around the nation,
When the TSA inspectors get rude
Think of John E. Brennan
Who was leading by example,
By asserting his right to get nude!

In the terminals of airports
All across the nation
Revolution is about to begin
Strike a blow for freedom
On your next vacation
By showing the inspector some skin

You can take off your clothes
Yes you can take off your clothes
And your fate is now exposed
You’ll be modern day heroes
All across the country
You’re the people who took off your clothes!

For reference:

Cuttlecap tip to NPR’s Two-Way blog.

6 comments

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  1. 1
    Randomfactor

    So free speech is barely legal in airports…

  2. 2
    Cuttlefish

    Or bare speech is freely legal. One or the other.

  3. 3
    RW Ahrens

    My daughter in Portland will really like this…

    Heck, all three will!

  4. 4
    Cuttlefish

    Three? They can sing it in harmony!

  5. 5
    carpenterman

    That’s it… I’m never flying again.
    Not only do I have no patience with lines, but I’m afraid I’m well past the age when I should be getting naked in public.
    Or anywhere, really.

  6. 6
    JustaTech

    Tidbit about “M.T.A.”: The band was blacklisted for singing it, and only one radio station would play it because it was controversial. Or communist. Something dumb.

    I can only imagine what the Powers_that_were would have thought of your version!

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