Historical Jesus »« The Source Of All The Problems

MMmmmmm… Sacrilicious!

Is beer in a chalice
Some blasphemous malice?
Is it funny as hell, or not very?
Is bobblehead Jesus
Intended to please us?
We’re fighting to close down “Ale Mary’s”!

Is the “heavenly ale”
That they claim is for sale
An affront to the mother of god?
Are the pictures of nuns
Merely harmless, and fun
Or is evil behind the façade?

If a Monstrance, as kitsch,
Makes your frontal lobe twitch,
As the sacred becomes the profane,
Raise your voice and be heard—
It’s obscene! It’s absurd!
And the protest itself? It’s insane!

All the sordid details, after the jump:

Via The Blaze (don’t judge me!), the story of a protest. Here, the Baltimore Sun also has the story, so you don’t have to go to Beckville (but I just might tempt you there later!)

They decorate with photos of nuns. They post their draft list on a hymn board. They offer Father Luies Grilled Wings and Father Tom’s Fried Ice Cream Sundae. And, possibly their most serious transgression according to the group: the bar’s “chalice” club where people can get their beer served in a chalice.

The group 500,000 Against Ale Mary’s isn’t amused.

In fact, they’re highly offended.

And in a loaves-and-fishes miracle, the Sun reports that “500,000 Against Ale Mary’s” has just over 200 members. The Blaze, having apparently hired the same people who counted the crowd for Beck’s rally in DC, puts the number at 761. Which, you see, rounds up to 500,000. The facebook group has a purpose:

This group has been formed to protest, and make known, the deeply offensive and blasphemous use of sacred objects used in the Catholic Church in Her most profound rituals and liturgies by the bar Ale Mary. In this establishment Chalices that contain the precious blood of Christ are being used as common drinking cups, and a Monstrance that is to be used to display the Sacred body of Christ for adoration is being used as a kitch decoration sitting on a bar where patrons while their time over drinks. A holy water font is also used as a simple candy dish.

That purpose, clearly, is to drum up business for the bar.

[The bar’s owner] dismisses critics and says that the campaign against the bar has actually been a positive force for him and his family.

“It‘s all in fun and it’s not like we’re out picking these things up. Our customers are bringing these things to us,” he explained. ”It’s great publicity. I wish I would have thought of this myself.”

Well, then, to do my part, I am going to strongly advise people not to look at the very tempting Ale Mary’s merchandise, because it would be sinful.

But for me, of course, the real candy in the holy water font is the commentary at The Blaze. Someone is going to have to come up with a commentary BINGO card–I see the “you’d never try this with Islam” from one side, and the “you’re more concerned with this than with abusive priests” from the other. Needs to be turned into a drinking game.

From chalices.

Comments

  1. Pierce R. Butler says

    They need to open up a winery, to fulfill the venerable children’s chant of “Mary, full of grapes”.

    With complimentary crackers.

    Eat the flesh! Drink the blood!

  2. Eidolon says

    This brings to mind a good beer I found in Utah “Polygamy Porter” – the motto being “Why have just one?”

  3. Randomfactor says

    The Baptists have to have SOMEWHERE to drink where they won’t run into Catholics…

  4. carpenterman says

    One thing that many dangerous religious fanatics have in common is they are absolutely humorless. They cannot stand their religion being taken lightly, and they absolutely can not take a joke. Their religion is IMPORTANT, and EVERYONE had better take it seriously, or they’ll know the reason why, by God!
    Do you know what this says to me? That somewhere deep down, they’re not buying it, and that scares them to death. Homophobes are likely to react so negatively to gays because they have homosexual tendencies themselves (for the latest research on this, see today’s Dan Savage). So too, religious people who scream the loudest at what they perceive as disrespect are very likely trying to drown out that little voice in their head that whispers, “This is bullshit!” If they really felt secure in their faith, things like Ale Mary’s (best bar name *ever*!) would roll of their backs. These protesters aren’t offended; they’re threatened. Because their faith is fragile, such a thin veneer that a single chuckle could tear it wide open.

  5. abusedbypenguins says

    No sense of humor. Tell a cc(Craized christian) woman that the new cribs at wal-mart for girls have a small brass pole at one end. Then run. Fast.

  6. HeavyG says

    So…Catholics should also stop referring to “Hail Mary” passes in football then yes?

  7. Stevarious says

    From the article:

    “In this establishment Chalices that contain the precious blood of Christ are being used as common drinking cups!”

    Jesus blood can’t be THAT precious – every week millions of catholics gather to convert the stuff into urine! Same thing their doing with the beer, isn’t it?

  8. bcoppola says

    Wanna bet that Ale Mary’s gets a nice bump in business? Silly fundies…they never learn.

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