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Monthly Archive: March 2010

Mar 30 2010

It Must Be Spring

I’d piss off a crayfishI’d sneak with you, deer,Or engage in behaviorFrom macho to queerAs long as it’s healthyAnd no one objects;Birds do it, bees do itAnd fuck, I want sex! We’ll do it like lions—I’ll stop when you biteOr peregrine falconsWho couple in flightOr lusty giraffes, we’llEntangle our necksIt’s springtime, or nearly,And fuck, I …

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Mar 29 2010

Onward Christian Militias, Marching As To Jail

For toxic Christian nutteryIt’s hard to beat the Hutaree;I’d say it to their face, except I’d rather not get shot.A branch of ChristianityWith double the insanity—In mental evolution, they’re the land that time forgot. In events unfolding as I write, a christian militia group is … what? Fighting the government? Preparing for the antichrist? Shitting …

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Mar 24 2010

Sceptics Circle, 24 March 2010

The Big News in skepticism this week is a story which, in a perfect world, would not be news at all. James Randi, at the age of 81, has chosen to come out of the closet. In what is the worst or best kept secret in history (judging from people’s reactions), Randi is gay. Some …

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Mar 18 2010

March 25th Skeptics Circle Will Be Here

Each couple weeks, some random jerk’llHost the latest Skeptics CircleThursday next, *I* (by some quirk)’ll Take the task in hand Write your best! Submit your entries!High-end stuff or elementaries;Don’t be scared–the dogs and sentriesWait on my command. You do not have to write in rhyme,But those submissions made in timeMay be annunced in verse sublime(Or …

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Mar 17 2010

Two, They Say, To Tango

It has become such old news–this pope, that pope, embroiled in yet another sex scandal. The video that PZ linked speaks of some of what some children went through at the hands of priests, behavior which has been systematically covered up–and recent allegations suggest that the current occupant at the Vatican will be unable to …

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Mar 09 2010

“Oh Lord, we really prefer not to know”

Hello; my name is Cuttlefish, and I am a versaholic. (Hi, Cuttlefish!) It’s been just a few hours since my last “Rejected Canon” hymn (ok, a little more than a few–I did have to work, after all!), but I’ve fallen off the wagon! Another hymn it is… this one in 6/8 time, for those who …

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Mar 09 2010

“I thank thee, God, for buttocks firm”

One more from the “Rejected Canon” (I can’t help myself–they’re like potato chips–I can’t stop!). This one will be considered offensive by some who defend the nastier bits of organized religion. Consider yourself warned. I thank thee, God, for buttocks firmFor skin of alabasterFor pouting lipsEyes dark as pipsWhich rouse me all the faster I …

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Mar 08 2010

“You have to admit, this sounds pretty far-fetched”

Ok, last one. I promise. But these things are like heroin to someone like me… You have to admit, this sounds pretty far-fetchedCertum est, quia impossibile But my mem-o-ry has it indelibly etchedCertum est, quia impossibile There once was a garden, with Adam and EveAlong came a serpent, with plans to deceive—What part of this …

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Mar 08 2010

“Holy” like a Donut, “Holy” like Swiss Cheese

“Holy” like a donut, “Holy” like Swiss Cheese,“Holy” like creationists’ own brand of expertise“Holy” like a leper with some flesh-eating disease,“Holy” like My Saviour’s feet, beneath his holy knees. “Holy” like a colander, or like a piercéd ear,“Holy” like a fishnet blouse, that’s so much more than sheer“Holy” like a movie’s plot (The Bible’s, too, …

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Mar 08 2010

“Even Cripples Praise Your Name”

God of Wisdom; God of BeautyGod of Water, Wind, and FlameWe, your subjects, do our duty:Even cripples praise your name. God, who cured the lowly leper,Plays with mercy like a game–Eking praise from each twelve-stepperEven cripples praise your name. Mangled feet and withered fingersMalformed faces hung in shameStill this love of God still lingersEven cripples …

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