Accommodationism: A Parable »« The Digital Pack-Rat, vol. 23

Starving? Have A Bible!

They were starving; they were homeless; they were dying; they were dead.
There were bodies to be buried; there were children to be fed.
There were broken heaps of rubble where the houses used to stand
There was utter devastation; there was chaos in the land.
There were frantic cries for rescue; there were howls of fear and pain
There were heroes risking life and limb, with much to lose or gain.
There were millions in donations—drinking water, food to cook—
And the most important gift of all… The Christian Holy Book.

While it cannot stave off hunger, and it cannot slake your thirst,
It’s the most important item, when your life is at its worst;
No, it cannot heal a broken bone; it cannot make you whole,
But a Bible, in your time of need, could save your mortal soul!
It’s the timeless sacred message from the Bearded Guy Upstairs,
And it speaks of His omnipotence, and tells you that He cares.
When your world is torn asunder, as your very country bleeds,
Who could doubt, the Holy Bible is the thing that Haiti needs?

It’s the latest, greatest model; it’s a solar powered job!
It can shout the Holy Scripture out, in Creole, to the mob
That has gathered there, expectant, in the hopes of some supplies—
When instead they hear the Word Of God, imagine their surprise!
We are sending them six hundred, and that takes a lot of space,
So we bumped some crates of water, and put Bibles in their place;
Planes will bring the Holy Bibles in, like manna from above…
Cos it’s Bibles, and not medicine, that shows True Christian Love.

News Item: “Earthquake survivors get solar-powered bibles

The Proclaimer, “a ministry tool like no other” (hey, I thought that was Pat Robertson’s title!) could have been a solar-powered radio (it also has a hand-crank dynamo backup), but instead of a radio which could tell Haitians where to go for food, water, or medicine, it has a microchip with Scriptures in Haitian Creole. The rechargeable battery could play the entire New Testament a thousand times or more. Some 600 are on their way to Haiti, where with any luck the batteries and solar panels will be scavenged for other uses.

Cuttlecap tip to PZ, of course.

Comments

  1. says

    Check Slacktivist for a good look at why this is crappy theology, too. My mother, a Christian till she was incapacitated and probably (not that we have any way of knowing) till she died, used to say: Take care of God's children on earth and God will take care of you afterwards.

  2. lra grey says

    Oh, why can't these odious Christian crooksNot see what they really require?At least send them flammable holy books!I'm sure they could use a good fire!(More than audio wibble, that is.)SCNR ;)

  3. says

    We 100% agree with you that these poor and desperate people need all the essentials they can get. Governments and organizations are in a global initiative breaking their backs to get millions upon millions of dollars worth of that aid there. These devices are still in the U.S. being shipped out in small phases along with food, water, medical supplies, etc. We are responding to requests by disaster relief groups, medical teams, native Haitian pastors, etc., they are calling us asking us for these audio Bibles.So, these devices are not taking up any space reserved for food or water or medical supplies, etc. These devices will be sent in phases over the next few weeks neither denying nor delaying what the Haitians need to survive.

  4. says

    I am happy to hear that, Audio Bible.Of course, you could make them far more useful even in the short term, by including a radio receiver option; I did not see one on your site (perhaps I missed it). This is something they do need, in order to coordinate the distribution of all the other supplies.

  5. says

    If you please, I would love to know the eventual results of your talk. Perhaps I can write a more positive verse, for the next unfortunate disaster.I am told that it would be a very simple modification to add; it is unquestionable that it could prevent a portion of the suffering, and could not hurt your image.

  6. says

    Am I understanding this correctly?FCBY is teamed up with another org and are supplying food for the body and soul. For the past few years atheists worldwide have literally wasted enormous amounts of money during times of recession, war and poverty not in helping anyone in any material need but in order to purchase bus ads and billboards attempting to demonstrated just how clever they consider themselves to be; and now they want to become the charity police—please! Futher dissection of this particular atheist hypocrisy here.

  7. says

    Hi Cuttlefish,So I had a lengthy talk with our engineer today. We discussed this device and any adaptations for crisis situations. It will be easier and cheaper for us to just send along current emergency radios than modify our core ministry tool. I now have to talk with our founder about how we can respond in the next crisis with a ministry tool and emergency aid. See, as a non-profit with a charter, we are legally required to disburse monies received for that which they were given. For example, if you give to a local church and write in "electric bill" on the memo line of your check, then the church HAS to pay the electric bill with your gift. Same applies for us, the donations we have received MUST be used for audio Bible ministry because that was what people gave toward. If we can raise specific funds and set them aside for disaster relief, then we can then forward those donations to a relief organization that is taking along audio Bibles.Bottom line for us is finding a way to help people through their crises of life and building good will for all.

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