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Dec 07 2011

What about flashlights? Candles? Yule logs?

Get that smirk off your face.

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

 

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

 

Really? But then won’t they get ideas about slicing penises?

31 comments

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  1. 1
    Hamilton Jacobi

    This guy seems to be projecting on a grand scale.

    My sister will only eat bananas by breaking off small pieces with her fingers and putting them one by one into her mouth. She’s not doing it to prevent unchaste thoughts from crossing her mind, nor to enact a sadistic revenge fantasy, but to prevent crude sniggering remarks and smirking glances from boorish oafs.

  2. 2
    sailor1031

    “He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

    I think we know who is thinking of sex – and way too much too! What is it with these imams that they have sex and weirdness on their brains in such rich combination? Do they get paid for doing this? Inquiring minds want to know….

  3. 3
    julian

    Hmmm

    I always thought bananas were too soft for that sort of play.

    Ah, well. You learn something new each day.

  4. 4
    Josh

    I for one think he is definitely supporting the secret global homosexual agenda. He is clealy telling the MEN they should be the ones handling the penisfruit, thus having naughty thoughts about male parts.

  5. 5
    omphaloskeptic

    Ha!!!

    You know, on reflection, I wonder if it’s the ladies having indecent thoughts that they’re really worried about. One of the funniest and most ridiculous memories I have of my own US Navy boot camp was when the biggest creep in my division got caught jerking off underneath the dining table in the chow hall while watching us ladies scarf down bananas in our usual hurried fashion. Even more ridiculous than the fact that some douche had to do that in public was the solution concocted by those in authority: bananas were henceforth banned in my division.

    Is it just terrible of me to think those muslim clerics issuing this profound advice might be sitting there frothing at the mouth every time a female bites into a phallically-shaped vegetable?

    Oh I just love how f’d up this world is. :)

  6. 6
    skepticlawyer

    Projection, much?

  7. 7
    julian

    bananas were henceforth banned in my division.

    In their defense, going off the few Chiefs I’ve met, asking one to talk to you all about sexual harassment and the rights of individuals to be safe from a hostile atmosphere wouldn’t have done much for the situation.

  8. 8
    BenSix

    Is there a reliable source for this? I can’t find any evidence of “el-Senousa news” even existing.

    /spoilsport

  9. 9
    Ophelia Benson

    I know, it does sound like a Poe, but it’s all over the place. Mind you the guy is being ridiculed even by other clerics, so he can’t be called typical. But it was too good to pass up.

  10. 10
    James Sweet

    It may be all over the place, but whenever I try to follow a trail back to a source,, there’s a dead-end. I’m not convinced this isn’t an empty meme. It could be real… but I haven’t seen a source yet that convinces me.

  11. 11
  12. 12
    anat

    So shouldn’t men be prohibited from handling grapefruit, melons and perhaps any other spherical fruit?

  13. 13
    clarysage

    anat: Women have genitals, and they are not spherical.

  14. 14
    Josh

    Then perhaps banning peaches?

  15. 15
    clarysage

    calla lilies

  16. 16
    phil

    What about sausages and salami? There’s something about pears too.

    I love long life better than figs.

  17. 17
    phil

    Wait a minute, what about minarets? They seem very popular on mosques.

  18. 18
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

    There’s an idea there.
    That also makes me doubt the authenticity. Wouldn’t somebidy who’s such a misogynist also insist on men never serving women?

    Women have genitals, and they are not spherical.

    Well, no more papayas for you, then.

  19. 19
    Ophelia Benson

    Ah, phil, sneaking in a bit of Shakespeare. Very cool.

  20. 20
    Ophelia Benson

    Anyway: sure, it may be a poe, which is why I didn’t treat it with 100% seriosity.

  21. 21
    AJ Milne

    …bananas were henceforth banned in my division.

    (Blinks…)

    That has an almost archetypal quality, that does.

  22. 22
    Phill Marston

    Never mind Antony and Cleopatra, have you never read DH Lawrence?

    From ‘The Fig’,

    Folded upon itself, and secret unutterable,
    And milky-sapped, sap that curdles milk and makes ricotta,
    Sap that smells strange on your fingers, that even goats won’t taste it ;
    Folded upon itself, enclosed like any Mohammedan woman,
    Its nakedness all within-walls, its flowering forever unseen,
    One small way of access only, and this close-curtained from the light ;
    Fig, fruit of the female mystery, covert and inward,
    Mediterranean fruit, with your covert nakedness,
    Where everything happens invisible, flowering and fertilization, and fruiting
    In the inwardness of your you, that eye will never see
    Till it’s finished, and you’re over-ripe, and you burst to give up your ghost.

    http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/Classic%20Poems/Lawrence/figs.htm

  23. 23
    Svlad Cjelli

    I see banana; I read “sexual”; I read “fleshlights”.

  24. 24
    Crommunist

    “resemble the male penis”

    I’ve got to ask here… don’t they also resemble the female penis? Or pretty much any penis of any group? Well, except ducks, I guess. Should we ban the Slinky just in case some women are duck-cock fetishists?

  25. 25
    julian

    I see banana; I read “sexual”; I read “fleshlights”.

    *wipes sweat off forehead*

    So glad it wasn’t just me. Hell I’m still reading it fleshlight.

  26. 26
    kev_s

    Call me strange but a pair of lips peaking through an Imam’s beard always reminds of …. no! no! … I can’t write it.
    But I wish they would cut their beards back a bit.

  27. 27
    Avicenna

    And who is going to cut up these phallic fruit? Men? In a Kitchen? The good Imam would have a fit if men were cutting up fruit in kitchens!

    (In arab families the burden of cooking lies with the ladies. Most men can barely make cereal and asking them to cut up fruit is just begging for a trip to the A&E)

  28. 28
    Ophelia Benson

    The Slinky! My god, of course – I’m astonished it wasn’t banned years ago.

  29. 29
    Anat

    clarysage (#13):

    In Israel in the 1980s the citrus council ran ads promoting the consumption of grapefruit that featured young women in yellow t-shirts and apparently no bras underneath them running and bouncing about. Many women complained, often expressing the question how an equivalent marketing campaign for carrots would be perceived. So that was the association in my mind from phallic vegetables.

    BTW the complaints had no effect. In fact in the 1990s citrus promotion ads only got more misogynistic (a woman flashing orange underwear vs a man peeling an orange).

  30. 30
    Sophie Lagacé

    A guy must be a pretty pathetic performer if he thinks proximity to vegetables will get a woman more interested than a rump in the sack with him. I’m sure ideas of slicing must have already uh, germinated.

  31. 31
    Aratina Cage

    Really? But then won’t they get ideas about slicing penises?

    Well, the image of men getting together to slice up penises isn’t too far off from what Christian men in the USA do from time to time.

    Perhaps this “sheikh” is a covert Christian.

  1. 32
    Best Scented Soy Candles

    Best Scented Soy Candles…

    [...]What about flashlights? Candles? Yule logs? | Butterflies and Wheels[...]…

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