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Blogging is serious business

It seems like I’ve been on a trend of ranty/serious blogging lately. While I enjoy reading the discussions that go on in the comments, they also start to drain on me after a while. So, here, have something silly:

Me: Will you take my picture? I want a before shot, while I’m still female
Friend: Sure. No, pose more girly.
Me: KayAmerica’s Next Top Model, I am not. I can totally imagine Nigel telling me that my hand looks like a claw or Tyra saying I’m not smizing enough (yes, I fully expect you all to shun me for watching that stupid show). Oh, and sunburn from our Pastafarian preaching, yay!

But then the clock struck 8, and instead of turning into a pumpkin, I turned into……a skeevy used car salesman! I mean, a male! Actually, with my hair down I looked eerily like Penn Jillette, which would explain my magic trick of making my D-cups disappear.

Yes, Friday night I held a drag party. I think that’s an acceptable excuse for not blogging.

Comments

  1. says

    Extreme Makeover: Gender EditionAnd that’s the best I got. God do I suck.And I won’t shun you for watching Top Model … just sorry for you. =(;-)

  2. says

    Extreme Makeover: Gender Edition

    And that’s the best I got. God do I suck.

    And I won’t shun you for watching Top Model … just sorry for you. =(

    ;-)

  3. says

    (chuckle) Actually, I thought you looked like Penn Jillete when I first saw the photo, but wasn’t going to say anything… I think it’s because of the the stance you take when you put your hands in your pockets under the coattails of your suit, the ‘facial hair’, the hair pulled back, etc. Interesting how you can turn from an above-average appearances as a female to below-average appearances as a male (subjective opinion of course – no offense to the male-you or to Mr. Jillette).Just curious – Were you trying to look like Penn?

  4. says

    (chuckle) Actually, I thought you looked like Penn Jillete when I first saw the photo, but wasn't going to say anything… I think it's because of the the stance you take when you put your hands in your pockets under the coattails of your suit, the 'facial hair', the hair pulled back, etc. Interesting how you can turn from an above-average appearances as a female to below-average appearances as a male (subjective opinion of course – no offense to the male-you or to Mr. Jillette).

    Just curious – Were you trying to look like Penn?

  5. says

    I wasn’t trying to look like Penn, I just did the fratboy look at the last party (yes, this wasn’t the first drag party) and I was trying to think what else I could do. The only other male thing at my disposal was my friend’s suit and scribbled on facial hair, and the hair being pulled back was kind of a no brainer. Now I actually kind of wish I would have tried to look like Penn (accurate facial hair, no part in my hair), it would have been extra scary!

  6. says

    I wasn't trying to look like Penn, I just did the fratboy look at the last party (yes, this wasn't the first drag party) and I was trying to think what else I could do. The only other male thing at my disposal was my friend's suit and scribbled on facial hair, and the hair being pulled back was kind of a no brainer. Now I actually kind of wish I would have tried to look like Penn (accurate facial hair, no part in my hair), it would have been extra scary!

  7. says

    You’re kinda hot as a guy – well, a bit too used cars salesman, but aside from that.But for the love of FSM (MYBTBHNA) shorten up your tie. No lower than the belt. Ever.Now, excuse me while I go touch myself inappropriately.

  8. says

    You're kinda hot as a guy – well, a bit too used cars salesman, but aside from that.

    But for the love of FSM (MYBTBHNA) shorten up your tie. No lower than the belt. Ever.

    Now, excuse me while I go touch myself inappropriately.

  9. says

    Rev wins the thread. Though Sili is pretty awesome too.Jen, for future references, bulky sports outfits work well for girls – football, hockey, etc. The gear hides the bust without resorting to wraps. At least, so I’ve been told.*sketchy look*

  10. says

    Rev wins the thread. Though Sili is pretty awesome too.

    Jen, for future references, bulky sports outfits work well for girls – football, hockey, etc. The gear hides the bust without resorting to wraps. At least, so I've been told.

    *sketchy look*

  11. mcbender says

    Oh, you definitely look like Penn there. That’s really rather frightening… now all you need to do is cut a woman in half with a buzzsaw (complete with flying entrails) and try to catch a bullet in your mouth. Oh, not up for that, are we?With regard to the show you reference… well, I could shun you for it, but I see no reason to because I also have to put up with my mother and my sister watching it. It doesn’t seem to have done any irrevocable harm to them yet, but honestly I’m not sure I’d be able to tell if it had.

  12. mcbender says

    Oh, you definitely look like Penn there. That's really rather frightening… now all you need to do is cut a woman in half with a buzzsaw (complete with flying entrails) and try to catch a bullet in your mouth. Oh, not up for that, are we?

    With regard to the show you reference… well, I could shun you for it, but I see no reason to because I also have to put up with my mother and my sister watching it. It doesn't seem to have done any irrevocable harm to them yet, but honestly I'm not sure I'd be able to tell if it had.

  13. says

    One time, a friend of mine was asked out by an African exchange student named Kwame. She said she had a boyfriend and asked me to invent him. I recommended that she tell him she was dating a soldier in the Canadian Forces, Patrice Lanét. Captain P. Lanet.

  14. says

    One time, a friend of mine was asked out by an African exchange student named Kwame. She said she had a boyfriend and asked me to invent him. I recommended that she tell him she was dating a soldier in the Canadian Forces, Patrice Lanét. Captain P. Lanet.

  15. says

    @Veritas: Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your bloggess. I was actually think about doing a parody of old Tommy but 1) Very very few people would actually get it and 2) Tom is so close to the Poe line that it is almost impossible to do a parody that wouldn’t be mistaken for the real thing.

  16. says

    @Veritas: Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your bloggess.

    I was actually think about doing a parody of old Tommy but 1) Very very few people would actually get it and 2) Tom is so close to the Poe line that it is almost impossible to do a parody that wouldn't be mistaken for the real thing.

  17. says

    No way, I’m pretty sure if I tried to send her money she’d send me a smack upside the head. Or drink it away at a *shudder* American football game.

  18. says

    No way, I'm pretty sure if I tried to send her money she'd send me a smack upside the head. Or drink it away at a *shudder* American football game.

  19. says

    Unfortunately Purdue is a dry campus, so they don’t sell alcohol at their football games. It would make our terrible team more tolerable to watch

  20. says

    Unfortunately Purdue is a dry campus, so they don't sell alcohol at their football games. It would make our terrible team more tolerable to watch

  21. says

    Egads! The FSM has gifted us with suntan lotion for a reason… the only pain one should feel in his service is the overload of joy from the touch of his noodly appendage. In other words, take care when doing day-long preaching! I remember learning this lesson from my youthful days in Boy Scouts. Both pictures are really good, actually. I feel the urge however to point out how much I despise the pencil-thin moustache look on guys, even as a guy myself. I’ve just never seen it really look good.

  22. says

    Egads! The FSM has gifted us with suntan lotion for a reason… the only pain one should feel in his service is the overload of joy from the touch of his noodly appendage. In other words, take care when doing day-long preaching! I remember learning this lesson from my youthful days in Boy Scouts.

    Both pictures are really good, actually. I feel the urge however to point out how much I despise the pencil-thin moustache look on guys, even as a guy myself. I've just never seen it really look good.

  23. says

    The ‘stache isn’t bad – much better than trying to pull off the Ron Jeremy/Ray Comfort look. (now try not seeing Ron whenever Ray shows up somewhere…hmmm…separated at birth??)

  24. says

    The 'stache isn't bad – much better than trying to pull off the Ron Jeremy/Ray Comfort look. (now try not seeing Ron whenever Ray shows up somewhere…hmmm…separated at birth??)

  25. says

    Awesome! You’re going full-time anytime soon? And what about surgical reconstruction?I was thinking about taking the big step but binders hurt like hell and I can’t afford hormones at all. (They’re not covered by any insurance here.) Aaaanyways…good luck :-)

  26. says

    Awesome! You're going full-time anytime soon? And what about surgical reconstruction?I was thinking about taking the big step but binders hurt like hell and I can't afford hormones at all. (They're not covered by any insurance here.) Aaaanyways…good luck :-)

  27. says

    There’s a “Woman against the old boys club” movie of the week in there somewhere. :-)Still, great job on the costume, do you have the male voice to go with it or did you spend the whole night freaking people out with your normal voice? Either way, next year you’ll need to get one of your shorter female companions to play Teller and do a comedy routine. ;-)

  28. says

    There's a "Woman against the old boys club" movie of the week in there somewhere. :-)

    Still, great job on the costume, do you have the male voice to go with it or did you spend the whole night freaking people out with your normal voice? Either way, next year you'll need to get one of your shorter female companions to play Teller and do a comedy routine. ;-)

  29. says

    … This reminds me of that one episode of that one show where that girl dresses as a guy, and the main character of the show is all like, “How did you, you know?” and she’s like “Carbon rod.”I almost wish I could remember what that was, but it was just junk TV.As I’ve said, though; you’d look far less creepy without the ‘stache. Nobody can pull that look off, I think.

  30. says

    … This reminds me of that one episode of that one show where that girl dresses as a guy, and the main character of the show is all like, "How did you, you know?" and she's like "Carbon rod."

    I almost wish I could remember what that was, but it was just junk TV.

    As I've said, though; you'd look far less creepy without the 'stache. Nobody can pull that look off, I think.

  31. says

    Really like the look (but then again I always like skeptics in suits (go George Hrab!)) When looking at this earlier I was really impressed with the binding (flattening) the chest for some reason.Was actually in the middle of reading a forum topic on cross-dressing and decided to link to you there. (hopefully you will get some more readers from it.)

  32. says

    Really like the look (but then again I always like skeptics in suits (go George Hrab!)) When looking at this earlier I was really impressed with the binding (flattening) the chest for some reason.

    Was actually in the middle of reading a forum topic on cross-dressing and decided to link to you there. (hopefully you will get some more readers from it.)

  33. says

    Nice job! Only one thing I would suggest is about your tie. You let it hang too low. I’m pretty sure I remember from my own college days (Drama Major, so from costuming) that the tie shouldn’t hang below the belt. :DOther than that, AWESOME.

  34. says

    Nice job! Only one thing I would suggest is about your tie. You let it hang too low. I'm pretty sure I remember from my own college days (Drama Major, so from costuming) that the tie shouldn't hang below the belt. :D

    Other than that, AWESOME.

  35. Introbulus says

    Actually, I think you look pretty dapper as a guy. o.o; Seriously, you pull off the pinstripes really well. Maybe not the best tie though. I’d go with something shorter, possibly in a red rather than orange. Also, a mustache might not be for you, but since it would reduce the illusion, I’d say keep it.

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