It seems like I’ve been on a trend of ranty/serious blogging lately. While I enjoy reading the discussions that go on in the comments, they also start to drain on me after a while. So, here, have something silly:
Me: Will you take my picture? I want a before shot, while I’m still female
Friend: Sure. No, pose more girly.
Me: Kay
America’s Next Top Model, I am not. I can totally imagine Nigel telling me that my hand looks like a claw or Tyra saying I’m not smizing enough (yes, I fully expect you all to shun me for watching that stupid show). Oh, and sunburn from our Pastafarian preaching, yay!
But then the clock struck 8, and instead of turning into a pumpkin, I turned into…
…a skeevy used car salesman! I mean, a male! Actually, with my hair down I looked eerily like Penn Jillette, which would explain my magic trick of making my D-cups disappear.
Yes, Friday night I held a drag party. I think that’s an acceptable excuse for not blogging.
63 comments
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Anonymous
September 27, 2009 at 10:27 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Woah.. a hot Penn Jillette? Now that's just evil.
Anonymous
September 27, 2009 at 5:27 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Woah.. a hot Penn Jillette? Now that’s just evil.
Joé McKen
September 27, 2009 at 10:28 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Extreme Makeover: Gender Edition
And that’s the best I got. God do I suck.
And I won’t shun you for watching Top Model … just sorry for you. =(
;-)
Joé McKen
September 27, 2009 at 5:28 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Extreme Makeover: Gender EditionAnd that’s the best I got. God do I suck.And I won’t shun you for watching Top Model … just sorry for you. =(;-)
turing
September 27, 2009 at 10:36 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/5705/92815253.jpg
Stunning!
turing
September 27, 2009 at 5:36 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
http://img169.imageshack.us/im…Stunning!
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 10:37 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Wow turing, that's slightly unnerving, yet awesome
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 5:37 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Wow turing, that’s slightly unnerving, yet awesome
JosherBlitz
September 27, 2009 at 10:37 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
(chuckle) Actually, I thought you looked like Penn Jillete when I first saw the photo, but wasn't going to say anything… I think it's because of the the stance you take when you put your hands in your pockets under the coattails of your suit, the 'facial hair', the hair pulled back, etc. Interesting how you can turn from an above-average appearances as a female to below-average appearances as a male (subjective opinion of course – no offense to the male-you or to Mr. Jillette).
Just curious – Were you trying to look like Penn?
JosherBlitz
September 27, 2009 at 5:37 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
(chuckle) Actually, I thought you looked like Penn Jillete when I first saw the photo, but wasn’t going to say anything… I think it’s because of the the stance you take when you put your hands in your pockets under the coattails of your suit, the ‘facial hair’, the hair pulled back, etc. Interesting how you can turn from an above-average appearances as a female to below-average appearances as a male (subjective opinion of course – no offense to the male-you or to Mr. Jillette).Just curious – Were you trying to look like Penn?
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 10:42 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I wasn't trying to look like Penn, I just did the fratboy look at the last party (yes, this wasn't the first drag party) and I was trying to think what else I could do. The only other male thing at my disposal was my friend's suit and scribbled on facial hair, and the hair being pulled back was kind of a no brainer. Now I actually kind of wish I would have tried to look like Penn (accurate facial hair, no part in my hair), it would have been extra scary!
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 5:42 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I wasn’t trying to look like Penn, I just did the fratboy look at the last party (yes, this wasn’t the first drag party) and I was trying to think what else I could do. The only other male thing at my disposal was my friend’s suit and scribbled on facial hair, and the hair being pulled back was kind of a no brainer. Now I actually kind of wish I would have tried to look like Penn (accurate facial hair, no part in my hair), it would have been extra scary!
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 10:48 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Okay, who was the one who asked if you had a used K-Car? Me.
Still waiting, by the by.
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 5:48 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Okay, who was the one who asked if you had a used K-Car? Me.Still waiting, by the by.
Sili
September 27, 2009 at 10:51 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You're kinda hot as a guy – well, a bit too used cars salesman, but aside from that.
But for the love of FSM (MYBTBHNA) shorten up your tie. No lower than the belt. Ever.
Now, excuse me while I go touch myself inappropriately.
Sili
September 27, 2009 at 5:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You’re kinda hot as a guy – well, a bit too used cars salesman, but aside from that.But for the love of FSM (MYBTBHNA) shorten up your tie. No lower than the belt. Ever.Now, excuse me while I go touch myself inappropriately.
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 10:52 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I had no idea how to tie my tie, blame my friend D:
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 5:52 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I had no idea how to tie my tie, blame my friend D:
Rev. Ouabache
September 27, 2009 at 10:53 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I can't wait to see Tom Estes's blog post about how much atheists love cross dressing and hate Christians. :P
Rev. Ouabache
September 27, 2009 at 5:53 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I can’t wait to see Tom Estes’s blog post about how much atheists love cross dressing and hate Christians. :P
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 10:55 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Rev wins the thread. Though Sili is pretty awesome too.
Jen, for future references, bulky sports outfits work well for girls – football, hockey, etc. The gear hides the bust without resorting to wraps. At least, so I've been told.
*sketchy look*
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 5:55 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Rev wins the thread. Though Sili is pretty awesome too.Jen, for future references, bulky sports outfits work well for girls – football, hockey, etc. The gear hides the bust without resorting to wraps. At least, so I’ve been told.*sketchy look*
Egoist Paul
September 27, 2009 at 11:00 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The picture and what you wrote in twitter was what reminded me of Cameron earlier.
Egoist Paul
September 27, 2009 at 6:00 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The picture and what you wrote in twitter was what reminded me of Cameron earlier.
mcbender
September 27, 2009 at 11:07 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oh, you definitely look like Penn there. That's really rather frightening… now all you need to do is cut a woman in half with a buzzsaw (complete with flying entrails) and try to catch a bullet in your mouth. Oh, not up for that, are we?
With regard to the show you reference… well, I could shun you for it, but I see no reason to because I also have to put up with my mother and my sister watching it. It doesn't seem to have done any irrevocable harm to them yet, but honestly I'm not sure I'd be able to tell if it had.
mcbender
September 27, 2009 at 6:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oh, you definitely look like Penn there. That’s really rather frightening… now all you need to do is cut a woman in half with a buzzsaw (complete with flying entrails) and try to catch a bullet in your mouth. Oh, not up for that, are we?With regard to the show you reference… well, I could shun you for it, but I see no reason to because I also have to put up with my mother and my sister watching it. It doesn’t seem to have done any irrevocable harm to them yet, but honestly I’m not sure I’d be able to tell if it had.
Mike Brownstein
September 27, 2009 at 11:10 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
When I was over there I said she looked like a Captain Planet villain, Looten Plunder. http://www.turner.com/planet/static/graphics/looten.gif
Mike Brownstein
September 27, 2009 at 6:10 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
When I was over there I said she looked like a Captain Planet villain, Looten Plunder. http://www.turner.com/planet/s…
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 11:11 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
One time, a friend of mine was asked out by an African exchange student named Kwame. She said she had a boyfriend and asked me to invent him. I recommended that she tell him she was dating a soldier in the Canadian Forces, Patrice Lanét. Captain P. Lanet.
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 6:11 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
One time, a friend of mine was asked out by an African exchange student named Kwame. She said she had a boyfriend and asked me to invent him. I recommended that she tell him she was dating a soldier in the Canadian Forces, Patrice Lanét. Captain P. Lanet.
JosherBlitz
September 27, 2009 at 11:55 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I think that even if Jen turned into a pumpkin at 8:00, Sili would still think she's "kinda hot as a pumpkin".;)
JosherBlitz
September 27, 2009 at 6:55 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I think that even if Jen turned into a pumpkin at 8:00, Sili would still think she’s “kinda hot as a pumpkin”.;)
Rev. Ouabache
September 27, 2009 at 12:01 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
@Veritas: Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your bloggess.
I was actually think about doing a parody of old Tommy but 1) Very very few people would actually get it and 2) Tom is so close to the Poe line that it is almost impossible to do a parody that wouldn't be mistaken for the real thing.
Rev. Ouabache
September 27, 2009 at 7:01 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
@Veritas: Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your bloggess. I was actually think about doing a parody of old Tommy but 1) Very very few people would actually get it and 2) Tom is so close to the Poe line that it is almost impossible to do a parody that wouldn’t be mistaken for the real thing.
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 12:19 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
No way, I'm pretty sure if I tried to send her money she'd send me a smack upside the head. Or drink it away at a *shudder* American football game.
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 7:19 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
No way, I’m pretty sure if I tried to send her money she’d send me a smack upside the head. Or drink it away at a *shudder* American football game.
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 12:21 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Unfortunately Purdue is a dry campus, so they don't sell alcohol at their football games. It would make our terrible team more tolerable to watch
Jen
September 27, 2009 at 7:21 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Unfortunately Purdue is a dry campus, so they don’t sell alcohol at their football games. It would make our terrible team more tolerable to watch
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 12:39 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
If my school had been dry I'd have many more vibrant memories of it, but probably less people would go to football. Hrm…..
Veritas
September 27, 2009 at 7:39 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
If my school had been dry I’d have many more vibrant memories of it, but probably less people would go to football. Hrm…..
BathTub
September 27, 2009 at 12:50 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yeah I can see Penn there, perhaps a bit of Dave Grohl.
BathTub
September 27, 2009 at 7:50 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yeah I can see Penn there, perhaps a bit of Dave Grohl.
Sili
September 27, 2009 at 2:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
JosherBlitz,
What's with the pumpky-hate? What are we? The new furries?
Sili
September 27, 2009 at 9:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
JosherBlitz,What’s with the pumpky-hate? What are we? The new furries?
Stephan
September 27, 2009 at 3:02 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Wow, that is a great transformation! You make a passable male! And I mean that only in the positive.
Stephan
September 27, 2009 at 10:02 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Wow, that is a great transformation! You make a passable male! And I mean that only in the positive.
Ian
September 27, 2009 at 3:09 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Egads! The FSM has gifted us with suntan lotion for a reason… the only pain one should feel in his service is the overload of joy from the touch of his noodly appendage. In other words, take care when doing day-long preaching! I remember learning this lesson from my youthful days in Boy Scouts.
Both pictures are really good, actually. I feel the urge however to point out how much I despise the pencil-thin moustache look on guys, even as a guy myself. I've just never seen it really look good.
Ian
September 27, 2009 at 10:09 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Egads! The FSM has gifted us with suntan lotion for a reason… the only pain one should feel in his service is the overload of joy from the touch of his noodly appendage. In other words, take care when doing day-long preaching! I remember learning this lesson from my youthful days in Boy Scouts. Both pictures are really good, actually. I feel the urge however to point out how much I despise the pencil-thin moustache look on guys, even as a guy myself. I’ve just never seen it really look good.
sofa king johnson
September 27, 2009 at 4:24 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The 'stache isn't bad – much better than trying to pull off the Ron Jeremy/Ray Comfort look. (now try not seeing Ron whenever Ray shows up somewhere…hmmm…separated at birth??)
sofa king johnson
September 27, 2009 at 11:24 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The ‘stache isn’t bad – much better than trying to pull off the Ron Jeremy/Ray Comfort look. (now try not seeing Ron whenever Ray shows up somewhere…hmmm…separated at birth??)
Andrew
September 27, 2009 at 4:44 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Jen,
Yeah, I was really rooting for your (terrible) team to beat Notre Dame on Saturday. I hate Notre Dame.
Andrew
September 27, 2009 at 11:44 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Jen,Yeah, I was really rooting for your (terrible) team to beat Notre Dame on Saturday. I hate Notre Dame.
rodiel
September 27, 2009 at 8:24 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Awesome! You're going full-time anytime soon? And what about surgical reconstruction?I was thinking about taking the big step but binders hurt like hell and I can't afford hormones at all. (They're not covered by any insurance here.) Aaaanyways…good luck :-)
Meredith
September 28, 2009 at 3:24 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Awesome! You’re going full-time anytime soon? And what about surgical reconstruction?I was thinking about taking the big step but binders hurt like hell and I can’t afford hormones at all. (They’re not covered by any insurance here.) Aaaanyways…good luck :-)
WCLPeter
September 27, 2009 at 8:30 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
There's a "Woman against the old boys club" movie of the week in there somewhere. :-)
Still, great job on the costume, do you have the male voice to go with it or did you spend the whole night freaking people out with your normal voice? Either way, next year you'll need to get one of your shorter female companions to play Teller and do a comedy routine. ;-)
WCLPeter
September 28, 2009 at 3:30 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
There’s a “Woman against the old boys club” movie of the week in there somewhere. :-)Still, great job on the costume, do you have the male voice to go with it or did you spend the whole night freaking people out with your normal voice? Either way, next year you’ll need to get one of your shorter female companions to play Teller and do a comedy routine. ;-)
Andre Vienne
September 28, 2009 at 11:37 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
… This reminds me of that one episode of that one show where that girl dresses as a guy, and the main character of the show is all like, "How did you, you know?" and she's like "Carbon rod."
I almost wish I could remember what that was, but it was just junk TV.
As I've said, though; you'd look far less creepy without the 'stache. Nobody can pull that look off, I think.
Andre Vienne
September 28, 2009 at 6:37 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
… This reminds me of that one episode of that one show where that girl dresses as a guy, and the main character of the show is all like, “How did you, you know?” and she’s like “Carbon rod.”I almost wish I could remember what that was, but it was just junk TV.As I’ve said, though; you’d look far less creepy without the ‘stache. Nobody can pull that look off, I think.
ShadedSpriter
September 28, 2009 at 6:44 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Really like the look (but then again I always like skeptics in suits (go George Hrab!)) When looking at this earlier I was really impressed with the binding (flattening) the chest for some reason.
Was actually in the middle of reading a forum topic on cross-dressing and decided to link to you there. (hopefully you will get some more readers from it.)
ShadedSpriter
September 29, 2009 at 1:44 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Really like the look (but then again I always like skeptics in suits (go George Hrab!)) When looking at this earlier I was really impressed with the binding (flattening) the chest for some reason.Was actually in the middle of reading a forum topic on cross-dressing and decided to link to you there. (hopefully you will get some more readers from it.)
Gwenny
September 29, 2009 at 7:43 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Nice job! Only one thing I would suggest is about your tie. You let it hang too low. I'm pretty sure I remember from my own college days (Drama Major, so from costuming) that the tie shouldn't hang below the belt. :D
Other than that, AWESOME.
Gwenny
September 29, 2009 at 2:43 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Nice job! Only one thing I would suggest is about your tie. You let it hang too low. I’m pretty sure I remember from my own college days (Drama Major, so from costuming) that the tie shouldn’t hang below the belt. :DOther than that, AWESOME.
Introbulus
April 23, 2010 at 4:53 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Actually, I think you look pretty dapper as a guy. o.o; Seriously, you pull off the pinstripes really well. Maybe not the best tie though. I’d go with something shorter, possibly in a red rather than orange. Also, a mustache might not be for you, but since it would reduce the illusion, I’d say keep it.