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Sep 26 2011

First Amendment? FL Lt. Gov has better idea

Speaking at a so-called “Faith and Freedom Coalition” rally, Florida Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll is unhappy that people in America are allowed to say mean things about Christianity and to enjoy a secular government.

“You know the Bible says faith is believing in what is not seen. Today unfortunately, many in the media would like nothing better than to ridicule Christians,” Carroll lamented.

“They promote ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ they place doubt in the public’s mind that Christ was not risen, and they condemn the ‘Passion of Christ’ yet they sensationalize stories that call for the end of prayer in school and removing the name of God from our countries pledge.”

Stupid freedom of speech. Stupid freedom of religion. Why can’t the government just say that Jesus is Lord, and anyone who disagrees can go to hell (after life imprisonment, of course)?

She added that these are “very sad times when we allow the minority to poison the minds of the majority.”

Yeah, who wants to live in a country where people are ALLOWED to disagree with the majority, right? I mean, that’s just so sad. Only the majority should be allowed to poison the minds of the majority, through state-mandated religious re-education programs (praise Jesus).

Encouraging the audience to trust in God for strength and perseverance like she had during her own trials, the Florida lieutenant governor sought to remind the public of God’s omniscience and his control throughout the “storms” of life.

His “control” of hurricane Katrina comes to mind. Did you notice the way He wisely and sovereignly directed it away from Florida?

“I firmly believe that the pathway to blessings is to not forsake God. Give Him what you have and let Him do with it what He can. If you want God to bless you, you must be faithful and obedient.”

She continued, “Our greatest blessings come out of our greatest trials. Ladies and gentlemen, Christianity is in a fight and it is one of the greatest trials we’ve seen in modern times.”

It will be interesting to see how well God does after Carroll quits complaining about people being “allowed” to question Him, and just leaves Christianity’s struggle in His hands. But that’s not going to happen, is it? No matter how much believers say they believe God can do things on His own, it always ends up being believers who have to shoulder the actual burden. But then, the fact that they typically screw things up just goes to show how we really do need to trust God and leave it in His hands. Lather, rinse, repeat.

18 comments

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  1. 1
    feralboy12

    “They promote ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ they place doubt in the public’s mind that Christ was not risen, and they condemn the ‘Passion of Christ’ yet they sensationalize stories that call for the end of prayer in school and removing the name of God from our countries pledge.”

    I, for one, have no doubt whatsoever that Christ was not risen.
    No one is calling for the end of prayer in school, just the end of state-sponsored prayer in public schools, as per the Constitution. Which outranks the pledge, by the way, a pledge that didn’t have God in it when it was written.
    As for The Passion of the Christ, it sucked.

  2. 2
    'Tis Himself

    It’s good the Light Gov. is defending the poor persecuted majority Christians. How they suffer, knowing not everyone is impressed by their beliefs.

  3. 3
    Pierce R. Butler

    What kind of heretic would bash the Da Vinci Code but leave Harry Potter & R.L. Stine unmentioned?

  4. 4
    mikespeir

    I’m trying to think–Have I ever heard or read an atheist saying he/she/it (atheists are “its,” don’t you know) liked The DaVinci Code? I’ve never read it, but most of the commentary I’ve noticed has sneered at it.

    1. 4.1
      Rob

      I liked it. Great fiction it was not, but it was entertaining.

    2. 4.2
      Deacon Duncan

      I started it, but couldn’t think of a good reason to finish…

      1. BinJabreel

        Ugh, it was endlessly terrible, a slog of a work of prose, crammed with more product placement than an episode of The Price Is Right.

  5. 5
    frankniddy

    If God and Christianity are so strong, why does He need to be forced on us in school? Is this not the same Christianity that survived for two centuries under an actively hostile Roman Empire? Or did Christians just sort of turn into wimps?

  6. 6
    cottonnero

    mikespeir: I’m pretty sure I’ve heard a few of my atheist friends praise The Da Vinci Code as decent trash – you know, not a bad read for an airplane flight or whatever – but I think that’s about the highest praise I’ve heard, and it’s pretty faint, really.

  7. 7
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne
    “They promote ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ they place doubt in the public’s mind that Christ was not risen, and they condemn the ‘Passion of Christ’ yet they sensationalize stories that call for the end of prayer in school and removing the name of God from our countries pledge.”

    Stupid freedom of speech. Stupid freedom of religion.

    Stupid apostrophes. How do they work?

  8. 8
    coragyps

    “Christianity….. is one of the greatest trials we’ve seen in modern times”

    That ellipsis doesn’t do the statement that much violence, does it? I like it better this way, anyway.

  9. 9
    coragyps

    “Christianity……is one of the greatest trials we’ve seen in modern times.”

    Better this way?

  10. 10
    unbound

    “They promote ‘The Da Vinci Code…” – Er, I think she is about 1/2 decade behind. I haven’t heard much about that book since the movie came out.

    I think she forgot to add that only thru Jebus’ love can people find the fortitude to ignore the wrongs done to them by corporate America and look for non-corporate scapegoats. Then again, that would involve honesty on her part, and I don’t think honesty is a xtian value…

  11. 11
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    Yea! Damn minorities! You should let the majority decide what you get! Suck it, non-whites, women*, non-Christians, gays, trans-persons, and disabled persons! We’ll give you rights and privileges when we feel like it!

    (* I’m aware there’s a larger percentage of women than there are men, but hey, I’m parodying your typical whiny Fundie – most of them tend to be men.)

  12. 12
    Hazuki

    Oh, brother. More whining from the oppressed majority. They’re also religiously and theologically illiterate; Jesus was a Jew and intended for the world to end, so tha a Jewish eschatology could take hold, very soon after his own death. Paul was the one who argued for tossing the Mosaic Law, not Jesus.

    Of course you can’t tell these people that. Which means it’s not actually Jesus they care about, it’s their own culture and unexamined intuitions. In other words, they’ve made their own minds God :D

  13. 13
    Ken

    I have to admit, The Divinci Code had a powerful impact on me. I turned me from a voting member of my church board to a questioning skeptic and ultimately an atheist. Many religionists never even think about the idea of christ being married and having children, although it would have been expected in those days. Once you question a little, it opens the door to more, and more and….

    1. 13.1
      John Morales

      Good to hear, Ken.

      (silver lining)

    2. 13.2
      Matt

      The Da Vinci Code was a cultural phenomenon that compelled many to reconsider the truth of the Christian gospels. Questioning the claims of Jesus’ divinity had become acceptable in American society due to this work of fiction. In my opinion this book was a significant factor in the rise of open atheism in the US.

      The End of Faith, The God Delusion, and God is not Great all benefited from the the The Da Vinci Code‘s popularity. The book was a primer for a more thorough questioning of religious faith.

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