He ponders the question of why there are no female late night talk show hosts but thinks that he can bring a female perspective that will enable women to relate to him.
I want to thank the staff of Glamour for asking me to contribute. It’s a nice consolation prize for being passed over for their Woman of the Year Award. Not that I wanted it anyway. I believe that honor should go to a woman. I’m a bit of a feminist that way.
And make no mistake: I love women. I’m married to one, I was birthed by one, and I played one in my high school production of Romeo and Juliet. No one else could fit into the bodice.
And physically women can relate to me. I have womanly hips—soft and grabbable, and they really fill out my low-rise Levi’s. I’ve got muffin top for days. Sure, the other hosts bring the eye candy. Jimmy Fallon has a boyish charm, and for the ladies who are into ladies, if you squint, Jimmy Kimmel kind of looks like a rugged Mila Kunis. But female viewers need more than a pretty face. They need someone who will represent their voice. And I think this essay has proved that I have an authentic female perspective, because most of it was written by two female writers on my staff.
His new show starts at 11:35pm on September 8 on CBS.