The Koran for dummies


I have tried to read the Koran on several occasions but have never been able to make it all the way through. I keep getting stalled because the writing is so turgid that its meaning is hard to determine without great effort. The fact that I have strong suspicions that after all that effort I am not going to end up with anything useful also dampens any motivation.

Since it is supposed to have been directly dictated by god, this does not reflect well on the literary skills of the deity.

This is why I was pleased to see that Jesus and Mo have provided a convenient summary of the main points.

Comments

  1. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    I particularly like what Jesus is reading in bed: “The Savior: Getting over a bad weekend”.

  2. AsqJames says

    I keep getting stalled because the writing is so turgid that its meaning is hard to determine without great effort. The fact that I have strong suspicions that after all that effort I am not going to end up with anything useful also dampens any motivation.

    Weirdly that is a precise description of my attempts to read Atlas Shrugged. You recently said you managed to complete one of Ayn Rand’s efforts, so I can only imagine how bad the Koran is.

  3. kraut says

    The bible (AT and NT) at least has a storyline (except for all the bgatting thingy), so it can be read as a story, with good parts and bad, excellent poetry and sometimes lousy prose.

    It is like an adventure story, although I think the Silmarillion
    “complex” by Tolkien is a much better read, better and more interesting characters, better storylines, action etc. and as a creation myth makes more sense than anything the bible tells us.

    The Koran is just so immensely boring, a collection of does and don’ts, threatening with destruction almost on every page those who do not take advantage of the “teachings” (I would say constant threats and repetitive insults to rational thought)to become disciples.
    I gave up after trying to read more than one page consecutively before browsing to find something more interesting, more challenging.
    A waste of paper and brainpower that could be better employed to solve real problems we are facing.
    This collection of utter drivel is responsible that almost all nations under the cudgel of that belief is still backwards in anything like scientific research, democratic ideas of governance, equality, child rearing, freedom of expression and thought etc. etc….

  4. Rike says

    Thank you! I thought I was the only one unable to make sense of the Koran. It almost gave me a feeling of inferiority to think I wasn’t smart enough to be able to appreciate such a superior literary miracle…

  5. ceti says

    Mark Twain’s quip about the Book of Mormon as “chloroform in print” is apt here. The Bahai prayers are also translated in the kind of anachronistic pseudo King James English that sounds forced and a bit too sycophantic towards god.

  6. says

    This collection of utter drivel is responsible that almost all nations under the cudgel of that belief is still backwards in anything like scientific research, democratic ideas of governance, equality, child rearing, freedom of expression and thought etc. etc….

    That explanation is too simplistic. Majority Christian nations have only been at the forefront of science and human rights for the past few centuries. There have been periods of history in which Islamic societies were more religiously tolerant and scientifically advanced than contemporary Christian ones.

    As for the Bible having a better story, the Qur’an is basically like Genesis and Leviticus (creation myth, a bit of history and a legal system.) Unlike the whole Torah, it is not an extended collection of the histories of an entire tribe (i.e. the Arabs, instead of the Hebrews). That’s why the Old Testament has a longer and more interesting storyline, because it’s wider in scope. In addition to the Qur’an, there are also the Hadith, which contain descriptions of Muhammad’s deeds and sayings, and are similar to the parables and descriptions of Jesus’ life found in the New Testament.

  7. Kazim says

    Mano, there used to be an active blogger named Kafirgirl (http://kafirgirl.wordpress.com/) who came from a Muslim background and was blogging her attempt to read the whole Koran.

    Sadly, she stopped blogging in 2009 after making it to chapter 16. I was in touch with her for a bit and I think she just burnt out on it.

  8. Mano Singham says

    That’s an idea. Maybe in the summer when I have more time, I’ll try reading and blogging about it one chapter at a time. The thought of having publicly committed to post blogs on the whole book may motivate me to get through it.

  9. says

    In the book The Portable Atheist there was a great essay by Ibn Warraq that gave a history of the Koran. I was surprised at how similar to the Bible it actually is, in so far as there have been many versions over the centuries and scholars diagree as to which suras to include and which to leave out. Also, if I recall correctly, it is organized by length of sura, rather than by the order in which they are written, and suras that appear later in the book supercede those that appear earlier. The effect that this has had is that average Muslims are almost wholly dependent on their holy men to interpret the meaning for them, and thus are subject to their beliefs and prejudices.

  10. kraut says

    “There have been periods of history in which Islamic societies were more religiously tolerant and scientifically advanced than contemporary Christian ones.”

    That ended when the “moores” had to leave Spain, for the Spanish to establish their own theocracy. After that experience the drive to scientific research and religious tolerance seems to have never recovered fully.

  11. Cambrico says

    Once I got in the internet an English version with comments by US academics. Just out of curoisity I used the “find” function to locate the word “infidel”. It turned out almost in every page, always indicating how low an infidel is and how every muslim has to avoid their friendship. I didn’t find any indication about killing apostates, but they are destined to hell according to the koran. The English version was written with lots of “thou” and all the old linguistic forms. I have heard that you got to know arabic to understand the poetry, but the English version was boring as hell.

  12. Stonyground says

    I have read the whole Bible from cover to cover but also gave up halfway through the Koran. The fact that it was so repetative made me think that if you were to take out anything that had already been said, then the whole thing would be a lot thinner, possibly about twenty pages. I might have managed it then.

  13. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    While I haven’t read the Koran I have read the Book of Mormon. It’s written in imitation (if not parody) of the King James Bible by someone who didn’t understand the construction and grammar of Jacobean English. It’s full of anachronisms (horses, pigs, chariots and steel in the pre-Columbian New World). It describes two separate groups of Middle-Eastern Jews coming to the Americas yet there is no archeological, anthropological, linguistic or genetic evidence to support this. On top of all that, it’s boring. Twain’s description is apt.

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