I have a codependency problem, it affects basically everything. This is when one person excessively relies on others emotionally or in other ways and the other person enables it. My separation from my wife for example is like a weight on everything, even blog posting. My therapist introduced me to a codependency anonymous group. This is of course a 12-step group and as an atheist the whole higher power thing is kind of complicated. I have a solution to that that I’ve considered my whole life though.

My higher power is society itself. We are social primates and while we should be individually strong we are meant to do things together as well and so there are whole extra brain systems involved in social behavior. We evolved to do things as a group and so there are advantages to having a group when facing individual problems.

Additionally, this is a very interesting 12-step group because of the codependency angle. It’s about problematic relationships with individuals and groups. They have an interesting angle where they “take what you want and leave the rest” according to some discussion I’ve found. So you don’t have to accept all the steps, and the whole dependency on a higher power is a bit undermined by the unique issue this group is dealing with, codependency. I don’t have to accept that I’m helpless on my own for example, I can accept that the group is a unique benefit when trying to solve my problems.

In the end, what I’m looking for is to be able to recognize the patterns in codependency, if I can do that, this group will serve my purpose. That it’s a 12-step group doesn’t have to get in the way and maybe I’ll even find something useful here. They know the things and I want to learn about the things. Still society can be awful so I should be cautious. What do you think?