You don’t support ICE or join the Republican party unless you’re afraid. Enjoy this collection of stories of chickenshit conservatives.
In the latest installment of “Immigration and Customs Enforcement thugs are big babies,” Oregon Public Radio obtained some incredibly distressing audio of an armed ICE agent—safely ensconced in an unmarked vehicle—who called 911 in October 2025 because he was being followed by a kid on an e-bike.
Yes, really.
But the problem here isn’t just that ICE agent Israel D. Hernandez was apparently so freaked out by a child biking near his car that he felt it warranted an emergency police response.
The real problem is that Hernandez told the 911 operator, “I need someone here now, or else I’m going to have to shoot this kid.”
Hernandez even pulled his service weapon out of the central console so he could be locked and loaded to protect himself from the child.
Dude, you know you could have just, like, sped up, right? You’re in a car, the kid is on a bike.
But according to Hernandez, the kid came up to his window and perhaps even broke one of the vehicle’s mirrors, so he told the dispatcher, “I’m going to have to act on this kid right now.”
I think it would be neat to have an e-bike, except that they’re only useable for about 6 months out of the year here, unless you like freezing your face off. The weather does not discourage Minnesotans in other ways, though.
In December, they begged Minneapolis police and the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office to help them, claiming that “we only have a few officers but we have 60 to 70 agitators fighting them.”
Sounds serious!
Except what really happened was that people stood around yelling at ICE and throwing some snowballs while the agents violently detained a woman, dragging her on the icy ground on her stomach. Local law enforcement dutifully arrived, only to say that there were no “life-safety conditions” requiring a response and took off after 10 minutes.
None of this is surprising, since they’re led by a demented coward, a guy who never served and doesn’t respect the military, but was willing to send bombs and missiles against Iranian targets. And then wouldn’t even answer questions about his responsibilities!
President Trump did not answer shouted questions on Iran when he returned to Washington tonight. He did comment on new statues that have been installed in the Rose Garden, telling reporters, “Unbelievable statues.”
He’s always on the lookout for distractions from the hard questions.
I don’t care about his statues. I hope they’re knocked down and hauled to a garbage dump the instant he’s out of office, may that day arrive soon.







