O’Reilly and Stossel are really getting into the true spirit of Christmas

It’s all about kicking the freeloaders to the curb. O’Reilly only gives money to charities that hand the cash over directly to kids (what?), and Stossel demonstrates that panhandlers are all freeloaders because kind people would even give him money, a sure sign of moral bankruptcy.

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The good news is that John Stossel was so gleeful at getting $11 by sitting on a street corner, waving a cup, that he’s going to grow a beard to match his mustache, give up the journamalism he has been practicing, and squat on the street for his tax free income until he dies. It’s a big win for him: there’s more dignity in that than working for Fox News.

(via Kick!)

‘Tis the season

Halloween is over, and you know what that means: it’s time to start peddling stuff for the Christmas season, and it’s also time to start up the War on Christmas again. You can do both at the same time!

Last year, we created the Happy Monkey greeting card set. You can still get them! And you should get them soon, because you don’t want to leave all your postal obligations dangling until the last minute, and risk Aunt Gladys getting her Happy Monkey card on New Year’s Eve, meaning that she spent all of Christmas dinner glaring at you for your neglect.

But this year, we are dialing the knob up several notches beyond Monkey, all the way up to Squid. Yes, it’s true: you can now confound and confuse and conniptulate your relatives by sending them Squidmas cards. Also, they’re adorable.

And if that’s not enough, remember that the Pharyngula store has plenty of baffling geegaws to stuff into Squidmas stockings.