Kristi Noem has been taken out to the gravel pit

We knew it had to be inevitable: Noem has been fired. All that cosmetic surgery and dental work to please her boss didn’t help.

Unfortunately, she’s being replaced by Markwayne Mullin, one of the dumbest sad-sack MAGAs in the Trump camp. This must be the smell of war he’s been talking about.

Questions remain: will Kristi ever get her blankie back? What about her boy toy, Corey Lewandowski? I hope there’s a camera crew around when she knocks on the door of her husband, Bryon.

And of course, we all want to know who the next cabinet member to get two bullets to the back of the head will be. Markwayne is new, but I think he’s in a good position for it.

That put the fear of God into me

This government is clearly planning to put boots on the ground in Iran. They’re declaring that it is Jesus/Trump’s will to launch Armageddon now.

A combat-unit commander told non-commissioned officers at a briefing Monday that the Iran war is part of God’s plan and that Pres. Donald Trump was “anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth,” according to a complaint by a non-commissioned officer.

From Saturday morning through Monday night, more than 110 similar complaints about commanders in every branch of the military had been logged by the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF).

The complaints came from more than 40 different units spread across at least 30 military installations, the MRFF told me Monday night.

When our military leaders start using apocalyptic language at the start of a war, worry.

“This morning our commander opened up the combat readiness status briefing by urging us to not be “afraid” as to what is happening with our combat operations in Iran right now. He urged us to tell our troops that this was “all part of God’s divine plan” and he specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ. He said that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”

— MRFF active duty NCO client, writing on behalf of themself and 15 other unit members

Let’s hope that this doesn’t happen and that we aren’t sifting through the ashes looking for something to eat next week. And if it doesn’t happen, every single one of these goddamn bible-thumping murderous commanders must be dismissed and drummed out of the military in disgrace.

While we’re at it, can we also get the names of all the White House personnel who are currently lining up to put inside bets on the date of the invasion on Polymarket? They need to be jailed or executed, too.

Get this guy outta here

The Lancelet recently published an editorial condemning RFK jr, titled Robert F Kennedy Jr: 1 year of failure. That link will give you the entire thing — I might as well, since quoting the parts that tear into his record and his policies gives you about half of the whole article anyway. He has been a disaster.

10 days after his speech about trust and openness,
HHS rescinded a 54-year-old policy of soliciting public
comments for new rules and regulations, silencing
the voices of many of the stakeholders he pledged
to serve. Kennedy has summarily dismissed advisers
and experts, communicated policy changes on pay-
walled media, fired a whistleblower, and overseen
the revisions of guidelines and recommendations,
contradicting decades of established science, often
to the benefit of industries he formerly condemned.
Under Kennedy’s leadership, the National Institutes
of Health (NIH) shuttered programmes studying the
health effects of air pollution, HHS withheld a report
linking alcohol consumption to cancer, and the Food
and Drug Administration (FDA) withdrew warnings
of potential harm from consuming products (such
as raw milk and chlorine dioxide) falsely marketed as
treatments for autism. His changes at CDC have driven
26 states to reject official guidance on vaccine policy,
and in December the CDC awarded an unsolicited
$1·6 million grant to conduct a vaccine study in Guinea-
Bissau that raised so many ethical concerns—the design
would have risked exposing thousands of unvaccinated
children to hepatitis B—that it has been compared to
the infamous Untreated Syphilis Study at Tuskegee.
HHS under Kennedy has made a habit of throwing
good money after bad science. Amid the Trump
administration’s cuts to research funding and personnel
there has been a harmful shift in priorities. Cutting-
edge discoveries and clinical investigations—on
subjects ranging from mRNA vaccines to diabetes and
dementia—are denied crucial resources while junk
science and fringe beliefs are elevated without justifiable
explanation. Under Kennedy’s leadership, politicisation
at the NIH, FDA, and CDC is imperilling the future of US
science and innovation and throttling the public health
enterprise that keeps the country safe today.

And then, the consequences! Growing measles and pertussis epidemics, worsening maternal morality rates, ridiculous campaigns against food dyes while ignoring capitalisms malignant promotion of processed food. He’s a train wreck that leaps from track to track smashing every benefit of the scientific and educational infrastructure of the country. We’ve replaced NIH and NSF with TikTok.

We have to get rid of this guy.

Despite these developments, Kennedy has continued
to spread misinformation and push politicised agendas
at the expense of the country’s most vulnerable. When
called to account for his decisions by Congress, he has
been evasive and combative. The destruction that
Kennedy has wrought in 1 year might take generations
to repair, and there is little hope for US health and
science while he remains at the helm. Calls for his
resignation now number in the thousands. Congress
must exercise its duty of oversight and hold Kennedy
accountable for his record, or else accept responsibility
for endorsing President Trump’s decision to let him “run
wild on health”.

Unfortunately, even if we drop-kicked his leathery ass into a sewage pool today, Trump has another fraud queued up for the position of surgeon general, Casey Means (she is not a doctor, despite the media habit of gluing that prefix on her name). Don’t let her get any power, or we’ll have to go to all the trouble of excising her like an infected cyst.

The GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR ego ever

I’m sure it’s just a routine formality that the White House Correspondents Association invites every president, every year to attend their annual dinner, only this year the corpulent orange pedophile has accepted the invitation, and has of course turned it into a notable accomplishment. It’s not. But still…this man suffers from a tragic metastatic cancer of the narcissism gland.

The White House Correspondents Association has asked me, very nicely, to be the Honoree at this year’s Dinner, a long and storied tradition since it began in 1924, under then President Calvin Coolidge. In honor of our Nation’s 250th Birthday, and the fact that these “Correspondents” now admit that | am truly one of the Greatest Presidents in the History of our Country, the G.O.A.T., according to many, it will be my Honor to accept their invitation, and work to make it the GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR DINNER, OF ANY KIND, EVER! Because the Press was extraordinarily bad to me, FAKE NEWS ALL, right from the beginning of my First Term, | boycotted the event, and never went as Honoree. However, | look forward to being with everyone this year.

I have doubts that many of these “Correspondents” now admit that | am truly one of the Greatest Presidents in the History of our Country, the G.O.A.T., according to many, but now that he has packed the White House press room with toadies from the fringes of “journalism”, he might just have a few more supporters in attendance. I will be disappointed if the real journalists in the room don’t turn it into a roast. Ah, screw it, I expect to be disappointed and for this to be nothing but an exercise in applied sycophancy. The media sucks.

He even expects the food to be the GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR? Serve him cold, bland porridge, and dump it in his lap.

They’re all cowards

Maybe one of the statues looks like this?

You don’t support ICE or join the Republican party unless you’re afraid. Enjoy this collection of stories of chickenshit conservatives.

In the latest installment of “Immigration and Customs Enforcement thugs are big babies,” Oregon Public Radio obtained some incredibly distressing audio of an armed ICE agent—safely ensconced in an unmarked vehicle—who called 911 in October 2025 because he was being followed by a kid on an e-bike.

Yes, really.

But the problem here isn’t just that ICE agent Israel D. Hernandez was apparently so freaked out by a child biking near his car that he felt it warranted an emergency police response.

The real problem is that Hernandez told the 911 operator, “I need someone here now, or else I’m going to have to shoot this kid.”

Hernandez even pulled his service weapon out of the central console so he could be locked and loaded to protect himself from the child.

Dude, you know you could have just, like, sped up, right? You’re in a car, the kid is on a bike.

But according to Hernandez, the kid came up to his window and perhaps even broke one of the vehicle’s mirrors, so he told the dispatcher, “I’m going to have to act on this kid right now.”

I think it would be neat to have an e-bike, except that they’re only useable for about 6 months out of the year here, unless you like freezing your face off. The weather does not discourage Minnesotans in other ways, though.

In December, they begged Minneapolis police and the Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office to help them, claiming that “we only have a few officers but we have 60 to 70 agitators fighting them.”

Sounds serious!

Except what really happened was that people stood around yelling at ICE and throwing some snowballs while the agents violently detained a woman, dragging her on the icy ground on her stomach. Local law enforcement dutifully arrived, only to say that there were no “life-safety conditions” requiring a response and took off after 10 minutes.

None of this is surprising, since they’re led by a demented coward, a guy who never served and doesn’t respect the military, but was willing to send bombs and missiles against Iranian targets. And then wouldn’t even answer questions about his responsibilities!

President Trump did not answer shouted questions on Iran when he returned to Washington tonight. He did comment on new statues that have been installed in the Rose Garden, telling reporters, “Unbelievable statues.”

He’s always on the lookout for distractions from the hard questions.

I don’t care about his statues. I hope they’re knocked down and hauled to a garbage dump the instant he’s out of office, may that day arrive soon.

I suppose I should look deeper for better correlations

Where are the hotbeds of Christian Nationalism? Who is causing all the problems? One approach is to map out the states with the highest density of right-wing Christian weirdos.

That doesn’t suggest any immediate explanations. My first thought was that maybe there is a correlation with poverty.

Nope, that isn’t it.

But then I noticed that Minnesota is always an exception compared to neighboring states. And that Washington, where I was born and grew up, is always on the side of right.

The correlation is clear: I, personally, am a benign influence on any state where I live.

I thought about leasing my presence to any state that wants to join the progressive future, but I had to nix that plan when I realized I might have to move to Arkansas or West Virginia.